We don’t dream, we don’t ask for much We live next door to our best friends There’s nothing the community doesn’t touch We’re twenty years behind the trends
God gave us this blessing to enjoy And thanks must be given by our deeds The twisted roots may often annoy But among them are nurtured the seeds
Marrying a best friend’s brother Swelling further our congregation Expelling all that worships the other And questions their role and station
We’re white, right and pious Our satisfaction is easily met Nothing evil will get by us In God’s way, we’ve all been set
A little bit more upbeat than yesterday, thankfully. I feel like I’m going to succumb to an afternoon nap right now though (at 1 p.m.). (Later) Somehow I managed to stay awake and I’m pretty happy about that. I should sleep okay tonight. I feel a little lazy and uninspired but also very comfortable in my lovely home.
Today I’m grateful for:
The salad seller at the market. I bought two, one with 3 small prawns and another with avocado. I mixed them both up along with sesame seeds and a packet of English Cheddar chips that I’d bought a stack of from Makro. Stirred through with two blasts of creamy salad dressing that made for a fine-filling fancy.
The best thing about today was:
Getting back into the guitar lessons on my app. Since I bought premium access more than a year ago it allowed me to play any song on the app which I’d been doing. I figured I was pretty much stuck on the lessons too but I have steadily improved enough to give them a good go. Slowly slowly.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Both our bathroom sinks are leaking again and I was hoping Amy’s mum’s plumber could come and sort them out but they advised me to figure out all the different things that needed doing in the house so he could come and do it all in one go rather than back and forth, which makes sense but also means no one will come until Amy is back and has checked everything that she wants done.
In the meantime, I took apart and cleaned all the pipes under my sink and shoved it all back tightly together but it needs proper sealing at the wall.
Something I learned today?
Messaging Aing today to see if she could come up from Bangkok to visit later this month she told me of her struggles since she has been back there. All her hopes and dreams have been shattered through no real fault of her own though she probably realises that she would have been better off saying no to certain things at some point. She wants to come back to Chiang Rai and I hope she can find a way in the future.
What have I been savouring lately?
Mostly writing and updating this blog. Every old entry I add feels like a ticking off of a box of the longest-ever to-do list. I’m adding diary and poetry entries from 1984 and it’s triggering lots of things. Currently, there is also a big gap of entries from around 1997 until 2004 which doesn’t have much written down but sure played a big part in my life. A time when I was living and loving with a lot less thinking.
I took this picture because for a while I couldn’t find Tigger. Sometime during the afternoon I went to sit at my computer and found his fat butt poking from behind the screen. I’ve never seen him up here before. What are you doing fat cat?
Do not succumb, my little friend Little girl, let’s see the end Together, hold my hand By my bed you’ll stand
You must say goodbye to me This is as these things should be It’s far too soon for you to leave Whilst there’s still air for us to breathe
The pain of living is our guide To put our suffering to one side To share our dreams and our mistakes To laugh at all our mischief makes
So stay with me, my little friend Even though we can’t depend On each other to fix our pain We’ll walk ourselves beyond this rain
Today I’m feeling:
Ok, though a little out of sorts
Today I’m grateful for:
All the staff at the hospital that pointed me in the right direction to find Mee. Despite language barriers, we could work things out with some words and pointing.
The best thing about today was:
The best thing today was watching Nong Fah helping Nong Ninja with his reading. She comforted him and helped him with some words. It was so sweet to watch and I was very impressed.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Getting a message from Mee from the hospital that she tried to kill herself last night was a bit of a shock. She had talked about her problems with me before but I was hoping she wouldn’t go this far. I think it was a cry for better attention from her family but it’s difficult for me to fully understand her situation.
I went to the hospital to see her and was happy to see her friend Petch there with her. I didn’t really know what to say though. It is hard to express the knowledge that life is long and can easily change for the better in the future. She really needs professional counselling but I’m not sure how easy that is for her to access.
Something I learned today?
It’s not ‘feed a cold, starve a fever’ but ‘feed a cold and a fever’ and whatever, drink lots of water.
What do I enjoy about keeping a journal?
It’s good to get stuff out of one’s head by getting it down on paper. The main thing I enjoy though is looking back at things that were going through my head previously and noticing if I’ve managed to grow and move on since.
I took this picture because as I was walking down the street these blooms stood out against the smoky grey skies.
I received a photo from Mee this morning showing her in hospital and when I asked her what happened she said she tried to kill herself by taking an overdose of pills. I’m not sure how seriously she wanted to die though she’s talked about it before, or if she really just wants to wake her family up to her mental health problems. From what she told me before, the medicine she is taking isn’t working and I had advised her to talk with her psychiatrist about changing it. Anyway, after my class I went on a search of the hospital and found her. Her aunt was sitting with her and Petch was also there comforting her in bed. Mee was still groggy and in pain and obviously, we have difficulty talking because of our language skills but I wanted her to know that I cared about her and to see that other people care about her. I asked her not to leave us and hoped she’d feel better soon. There wasn’t much else to say so I left, hoping she appreciates my visit. I messaged her later telling her I would visit again tomorrow and let me know if she wanted anything.
What makes this leg the one to be admired? The smoother the skin the more similarly inspired From a foot to a thigh I’m always wondering why For perfection, there are always two required
When struggling for time and inspiration, a limerick rescues.
What’s uncomfortable early becomes comfortable later. What’s comfortable early becomes uncomfortable later.
unknown, seen on a Quora post about Principle of Life
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to meet the nice immigration officer yesterday. He was very helpful and made the task as smooth as possible.
You are my favourite fork Comfortable in my palm Pins not sharp enough To do me any harm
You are my favourite knife Good for cutting cheese Just right for some butter Spreading as I please
You are my favourite spoon The right shape for my mouth Soup, yoghurt, stir fry Smoothly in and smoothly out
Some utensils just aren’t right Others are perfect for me I’m grateful to find the ones For breakfast, dinner and tea
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my favourite knives, forks and spoons over the years. Something about how they fit in your hands and mouth makes them emotionally comforting.
There were many good things today despite some minor frustrations – just with online teaching.
The rain really turned it on and brought the temperature down to a very agreeable level, so much so that I sat in the classroom even after my lessons finished.
I’m really enjoying the coffee I’m getting in the morning. I enjoyed chatting with Fui, reading and writing poems, and studying Thai.
The rain was torrential at times but not too cold, so I didn’t bother with an umbrella and just embraced the wet and ducked under cover whenever I could.
Even though I had plenty of free time today, I wished I could have more so that I could do some more drawing too. So long as I can spew out something artistic each day, then I’m pretty happy. At the moment, it’s poems.
1994ever 