With the few words I write There’s just a chance you might Catch a splinter of me To guess my personality
But to draw conclusions From these brief allusions Would only go to show How little we both know
Yet every little simple rhyme Pieced together over time Forms a picture in your mind Tell me what it is you find
Today I’m feeling:
Average. Not good or bad, a little tired but not unenthusiastic. A little bored and out of sync. Missing routine and unable to manufacture my own.
(I got lazy for the rest of the day, savouring reading, eating and watching TV)
Today I’m grateful for:
(The idea that the cream puff guy usually sells at the market, which inspired me to get out of the house in search of him. He wasn’t there but I was still glad to get out.)
The best thing about today was:
(Being lazy and not caring!)
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
(See above)
Something I learned today?
(At the time, the English thought that though Australians were strong they were not brave and cut out to be soldier material, during the fighting in Gallipoli during the First World War. I found this odd as Australians still celebrate the bravery of the soldiers there. History can be shaped in any way necessary.)
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
(Continuing support for Anchan and Baipad, though I’m starting to feel a little helpless. They both must feel terrible.)
When do I feel most connected to others?
I feel weirdly connected with everyone that I know as if I saw them again after many years then nothing would have changed. This might be a problem as obviously everything has changed in that time.
It’s one of the reasons that I don’t contact people often (I’m quite happy by myself) though I do recognise that others won’t feel the same way.
I’m most connected with my students these days, again understanding that they are not connected with me in the same way. Talking and playing with students is when I feel most connected.
At the flick of the switch There’s no transformation Remaining an ape or beast Change requires dedication No more time to waste If you wish the click to clack When you look at the sun It’s impossible to put it back
Reflecting on our animal nature A broken machine needing self-repair Once burdened by distraction Soon found themselves made it there Feed the mind with thought That keeps on the light Keep quiet and count the days When everything became quite right
Today I’m feeling:
A bit more relaxed after an extra hour’s sleep. Today is teachers’ day (apparently) and a day off from school though we are busy again at the temple. At least I got two Utopian coffees to kick off this morning.
I didn’t feel too hot after lunch and though feeling sleepy couldn’t get into a deep nap state.
Today I’m grateful for:
Whoever made the Thai snack boxes for the funeral ceremony tonight. There were enough left over for me to take some home.
The best thing about today was:
Mostly devoting my time to other people, though at the temple I’m not really doing much because I don’t know the etiquette or what is required but as soon as I’m asked I will do what is needed.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
At Utopia this morning I couldn’t stop sneezing! I sneezed about fifty times and Nick and Art were worried about me!
Something I learned today?
The top five wealthiest people in the world doubled their wealth last year! Just in one year. I’m guessing that for many others in the world, they halved their wealth. The miracle of trickle-up economics, or should I say flooding-up?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I’ve been a good boy again, doing as I’m told at the temple. I kneeled to the boy monk as I handed him pizza for lunch! Good luck boy monk. Stay off your phone.
Driving twice in and out of the city again despite feeling not 100%. Tired by the afternoon and my sinuses feel uncomfortable.
List 3 good things you have now that you didn’t have five years ago.
I thought that this would be difficult as I haven’t really acquired ‘things’ that much but five years is a long time and I acquired one of the biggest things in people’s lives and that is a home.
This time five years ago our house was built but it hadn’t quite been turned into a home, at least as I feel about it now.
I feel comfortable and safe around our house and neighbourhood and inside is Amy’s playground for decorating. If I thought about it more and knew where to buy things easily and cheaply perhaps I would make a home environment that suits me too but I’m also a little lazy to do that. Mine and Amy’s ideas are not that compatible and I’m happy to defer to her in this instance. Actually, I’m happy to defer to her most of the time.
Five years ago I didn’t have a guitar and that cheap instrument has brought me a lot of pleasure since purchase. I don’t think that a better quality guitar will improve my playing that much so I’m happy with what I’ve got.
The last thing I have is a deeper love. My love and connection with my students has grown so much in this time and it fills me with joy. I wonder where all our futures will take us.
As I was messaging with Baipad, who is in her grandmum’s village for ดำหัวผู้ใหญ่, she told me that her mum told her to send me this picture of them in their traditional Lahu dress. Fatman report
Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.
Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment
Today I’m grateful for: The cookie I ate at House with my lunchtime coffee. It wasn’t particularly tasty or big but somehow it staved off any afternoon hunger so I ended up only needing yoghurt for dinner. The best thing about today was: Being able to talk to different students on a more personal level about more serious topics such as behaviour and respect. Even with the difficulties we have in communicating I feel as if I have their confidence in some ways.
I took this picture because I’d never seen the light on the lower mountains like this before. The sun was only just over the horizon to the east.
For the end of term celebration dinner I thought it a nice idea to write a haiku for each of the teachers I work with – an artistic test for myself. I printed them on A4, laminated, cut, hole-punched and cut and tied ribbons on each. I enjoyed the whole process.
Kru Fluke
UNO champ, waiting Watching the new Thai drama Quiet achiever
For a while, at the end of the working day, teachers would gather to play UNO before heading home. Fluke would sit in quietly, watching some Thai drama series or other on her iPad at the same time. With a sweet and lovely smile she was a vicious backstabber when it came to the game and often won. It was best not to sit next to her round the table!
Kru JJ
Lipstick, mascara You make it work, you go girl Swing those hips wildly
All the male teachers in our building (and in most of the school) are gay and love getting dressed up for special events. They can be so spectacular and outrageous that it’s difficult not to get swept up in the occasion. JJ is, of course, one of them. A smart young guy who should’ve been born a girl.
Teacher Dylan
Sleepy ginger boy Wake up; the world wants you now So, wake the fuck up
Dylan is from Northern Ireland and is here in Chiang Rai along with his many brothers, cousins and other relatives I’m sure. The brothers look so alike that they find it difficult to meet girls that other members of the family have not already met, Chiang Rai being a pretty small town to start with. Anyway, Dylan arrives at school each day well before he has actually woken up and being young he attracts the most attention from the other similarly aged female teachers.
Kru KT
Silky voice, smooth tune Loud and proud; but wait, what’s this Big boy is sleeping
KT, or Kate, is another male teacher, though not quite as outrageous, he loves to sing loudly and play fight with the female teachers. He is a big (and big hearted) guy and because of this he has a problem where he stops breathing in his sleep so wakes up all through the night. This affects him at work as he often nods off, sometimes mid song. There are many pictures and videos of him snoring away.
Kru Champ
Stress, happiness, stress Working hard for the future Your reward will come
Champ is our hard working coordinator who gets a ton of (nonsensical) work dumped on him whilst also trying to implement things in a better way, hence his ever-swinging between stress and happiness. If efforts were truly rewarded in this world, he will achieve a lot. Lives with his boyfriend and supports the many LGBTQ+ kids in the school.
Kru Amp
Dance under the moon The wolf is crazy; no sleep Sleep when you are dead
Amp, along with First, JJ and Tee, was one of the student teachers from the local university. She taught Chinese and her English was the best when it came to speaking but her understanding was very good. So good that she could play along well with jokes and she loved having a fun time, especially dancing.
Kru First
Face reflects the moon A laugh and smile; gone too soon No more UNO now
First had a face that reminded me of a childhood story-book moon. A genuine personality and diligent worker it was sad to see her leave at the end of the term.
Kru Gratae
Love is in your heart Impatient; where is the one? Wait, don’t try so hard
Gratae is a loud, funny and self deprecating girl always looking for love advice from anyone. She is not so pretty on the outside but once you get to know her there is a sad vulnerability hidden there and when she is not hiding herself behind her defenses is a very nice person.
Kru Tee
Soft and gentle girl Turns out tough; always goes hard Life of the party
Tee introduced herself as ‘Tee, as in PART-TEE!’ She is a chubby happy girl that I believe hides her abilities and real personality. Very likable, I’m glad she has stayed on here as a teacher.
Kru Mai
Purposeful, thoughtful Watch the students dance with joy Always going forth
Mai has a striking looking feminine posture with a mushroom haircut. If you see him you will wonder what he is about. As far as I can tell he is a well respected teacher among the students, particularly as he will often play music and encourage dancing in his classes. Obviously he coordinates a lot of the stage show events the schools here seem to love. Mai is always the most outrageous cross dresser in the school. He is unrecognisable in a blonde wig and tight black dress.
Kru Aomsin
No accident stops Her from happiness and play Another round, yes?
Aomsin recently had a motorbike accident that smashed one of her front teeth but that didn’t get her down. She will always be the first to want to play UNO.
Kru China
Tag team with Gratae Keep fighting, fighting today Who talks the loudest?
China (pronounced Sheena) and Gratae appear to be best friends and once they are in a room together the volume is cranked to 11. This can be funny most times, but others, when trying to concentrate, becomes very distracting. One of China’s favourite phrases is to keep fighting.
Kru Feung Fah
A secret boyfriend The sporty type? Shy? Humble? Liaisons out of our sight
Feung Fah is a skinny, sporty girl that seeks to deny the fact she has a boyfriend for some reason. Her English is not the best but I can feel she has a good personality.
Teacher George
Good morning teacher Big smile, warm welcome, let’s go Seven-eleven
George greets everyone happily each morning, showing his face to let them know that he is here at school before quickly sneaking off to get coffee at his favourite cafe. Going out of school is not always accepted unless it is to the 7-11. So, whatever it is that needs to be done outside school, going to 7-11 is the default answer.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my creativity and ideas – they pushed me forward and I realise I can still do these things – even if I’m not very happy with them – I feel a little bit of that artistic streak again. It’s good. I’ve been writing a lot so I can combine that with presentation and push myself in new directions.
1994ever 