Thomas On The Fence – 26th October 2024

I don’t know what I believe anymore
The fence gets more comfortable every day
The Holocaust, massacres and genocides
Did they really happen that way?

Is it all a facade, my own Truman Show?
Is the grass actually greener over there?
To discover my world was built on lies
I wish to remain blissfully unaware

Now reality assaults me at every turn
Left guilty and helpless at the pain
Paralysed by the bystander syndrome
The fence is where I choose to remain

To The Beach We Enjoy – 20th December 2023

The pinnacle of freedom, sunning on the sand
It’s been worth it, all those working hours planned
How to make the day last longer than a minute?
How to enjoy the freedom when sunk deep within it?

A mind numb from routine, endless pointless tasks
Accumulating misery that the search for freedom masks
Another dollar, another day disappears again
It’s a low bar for freedom that dribbles down the drain


Today I’m feeling:

A little run down after these three days of double exercise.  I must push through though.  I can still feel the general improvement in my body and the tiredness is more through not enough sleep.  I wanted to get to bed earlier last night but was enjoying listening to Amy talking about this, that and the other.

Today I’m grateful for:

Leo being reasonably calm this morning when I took him for a walk so that I don’t need to wash my pants like I did last week.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing another writing book, this one for poems.  It’s always exciting because I look forward to a new book and it’s width will effect how I write in it.  However at the moment I have a couple of half used books that I want to fill up first rather than waste the paper.  Actually, if I think about it I have lots of half empty books that I could finish off too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was grumpy with me when I indicated that I wanted her to stop poking me whilst I was eating.  I know she was just having fun but I got a little annoyed.  I don’t like things happening while I’m eating.  I like to sit and watch TV without disturbance.  Anyway, Amy went off and I finished my food and tried to carry on as normal.

Something I learned today?

I saw an interview with RFK Jr where he said some pretty dumb things (in my mind) about the genocide in Palestine.  It them made me wonder (into conspiracy theory territory perhaps).  What if those who wish to be in control in the USA were getting worried that RFK Jr was looking likely to become president next year and, knowing that he would support Israel in any conflict with Palestine, gave the go ahead for Netanyahu to destroy Palestine with impunity so that when RFK Jr showed his support of Israel he would likely lose lots of votes from those who support his other policies.  I saw lots of comments online saying that those who once supported him would no longer.  USA politics is such a fucking shitshow that conspiracy is almost likely.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

In both my classes I encouraged and coached my students to guide them to the information they needed to complete my work so that almost no one was left behind.  The kids are in a relaxed mood due to sports events and Christmas.  I’m trying to relax with them but also pushing them along.

Some students were a little grumpy with me for penalising them for not doing my work yesterday but I soon managed to get them smiling again.  Mostly, anyway.

In the garden, I tied up a little of the pencil tree again as it is growing off in crazy directions and I watered the plants at the back whilst Tigger was sunning himself on the fresh-cut grass.

Which book did you read in college or school that was actually interesting enough that you still think or talk about it sometimes?

Going through my old diaries reminded me of some of the books that I read in my teenage years and surprised me that I was reading more than I ever remembered.  I always felt it was a struggle to read.  Some of the titles were familiar but not so much the stories.  I was proud of reading all 6 of the Thomas Covenant books and, again, whilst remembering little of the story now, the achievement still resonates with me and has removed the fear of reading long books.  War and Peace now sits waiting on my to-be-read shelf.

Tonaor took this picture because she likes to take selfies and so I gave her my phone because I can’t hold the phone in the professional manner that these kids can. So lots of face pulling and snaps later this is the one I like the best. Tonoar, myself, Namkhing.

Check Your Dreams – 5th October 2021

Conspiracies abound among the paranoid
Secret cabals of lizard men must be destroyed
Spooks at every corner have been deployed
Data analysis deep tracking employed

Inception matrixes to check your dreams
Killer drones are shooting laser beams
Manufacturing consent it seems
Our new masters are our own machines

10th May 2024 – Submitted to No Theme Thursday for the attached picture prompt


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I pretty much managed to finish my grading files in an hour yesterday. A whole semester measured with a number.


Today’s a good day so far (it’s 2pm). Probably the best thing was spending an hour in the city getting a massage. First one for a long while. How grateful I am to be getting paid and being able to get a one-hour massage! I’m thinking to go back again on Thursday! Why not!?

There is nothing particularly bothering me personally these days. My life is sweet. I’m conscious that I’m reading a lot of news again, generally about the US and the US-China relationship. That shit is making me angry and I’m wondering if I should just cut it all out again.

Amy and I finally watched The Tiger King and that documentary seems to highlight for me everything that is wrong about the USA. In my youth, I always argued for freedom but as the saying goes, ‘with great freedom comes great responsibility’. I don’t think freedom to be ignorant and stupid was quite what my idealised youth was thinking of.