Tag: cranky

Honey Glaze – 3rd February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

The orange sunrise
Perfectly reflected on the blue sky sea
Turning back inland
It’s a destruction from the river to me

Still, I have my god
That promises to set my children free
The skies alight
Where the others’ god wishes to be

The river run dry
Across those borders, we must flee
The honey glaze
Shines so that’s all anyone may see
*The honey glaze
On a fine crust of tolerated misery*

* David Elikwu
5th Oct 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge – Mainly Orange

Today I’m feeling:

My regular Saturday exhaustion though Amy didn’t give me the opportunity to wallow as she had me up and busy as soon as I got up. By the time I got to coffee at midday, I was dying for it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Time spent in the hammock reading about Britain’s colonisation of India. The sun is still a little low so that the remaining trees still give some shade though the ants, spiders and flies did get annoying.

The best thing about today was:

At the winter festival, Amy was shocked at the tiny crop tops at one of the stalls and said ‘Oh my god, who can wear a top like that?’ And as she said that she noticed a girl wearing a similar-sized top and finished off with ‘Oh, a girl like her.’ I looked and saw a small skinny girl looking cute in a tight crop top. And it was then that I noticed that she is one of the grade 11 students that I often talk to. And Amy was surprised to see me fist-bump the girl she was just talking about admiring.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was cranky from the get-go this morning and I came close to losing my cool but took deep breaths and soldiered on through, knowing that at some point it would be over and things would be good again.

Something I learned today?

Word is that the local council want our road widened before the rainy season starts which is good news though it will be a little inconvenient for us for a while.

Though we’ve been waiting for this before Amy starts thinking about doing business on our land it has become apparent that since the end of COVID, most students have not returned to the habit of going out and staying out to eat drink and talk like they used to. Many businesses are selling up due to a lack of customers after 8pm.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Amy asked me to pick up some plumber’s tape to fix the joint under the sink. I was on my way to my first coffee but picked up the tape and took it straight home so that she can fix it quickly.

At times I was short in my replies to Amy as I was echoing her behaviour back to her but I shouldn’t do that.

I took this picture because here was another cat in the window above the eatery next to Utopia. That means at least five cats I’ve seen in this window and I know that there are also two dogs.

There goes my dream, looked good on paper -1st June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Callen the gallon – those were days alright. Sweaty five-minute warm-up. Sound makes a sound – still Heavy Vegetable swirling around all the time.

Yesterday was filled with so much beauty it was almost too much to bear – it was outstanding green, green, green – Amy not impressed by the photos – “it’s my country – this is normal – this is why I want to see other places.” I get it, of course.

Up into the mountains skidding sliding – bemused villages staring. Akha church ceremony – it was Sunday. It was great – very lovely sounds. Some places so quiet, others cicadas like chainsaws.

Gap teethed stooping old ladies, “okay!”, smokers sitting in shade – pineapple groves – where to go? – is this a road? What are you doing to me Google Maps!? Buddhas everywhere. KwanYin everywhere. Miles and miles and miles – could I see the ocean?

Hours later I’m crispy salmon skinned – Magma CDs – play them one day. Das Damen – Jupiter Eye is upside down – why? Dazzling Kilman – must be close by. *

Cooler – big rain – 30-minute blackout. Oh no – it’s okay. Cold nighttime air, can wrap up warm. What are you gonna talk about? Nothing – it doesn’t matter – enjoy that coffee – keep the cup filled with coffee. Keep your heart filled with joy. Don’t fight it, the struggle is over, everything is changing. Embrace it. Gives thanks. Give love. You’re a lovely human bean.

Fatman report

Weight: 79.9kg
Resting heart rate: 53

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that De Lanna is open again so I can sit by the river with a coffee.

*writing this sitting next to my CD collection and perusing in thought

To-do list

  • Take the weekend with you – smile
  • Share your positive wishes to others and yourself
  • Savouring and random acts of kindness
  • Connect with someone – find out what they like ½
  • More blog posts ½

I struggled today to be honest. On reflection I think it may be somewhat connected to my sunburn – it is really bad on my arms and it’s not that it is painful or that I feel hot but I think I just got zapped of energy.

I got annoyed with two of the boys doing the filming because they weren’t paying any attention to the work. George rightly pointed out that it’s up to us to create the environment that we want to see but I was too tired and cranky to think about it anymore.

After lunch, I sat and closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. I felt much better after that and then, funnily, Dylan and George both got tired and sleepy too.

George can come across as quite bossy sometimes though he obviously has the best of intentions. It often rubs me the wrong way and sometimes I’m not confident enough to deal with it in a positive manner. I’m still very insecure about things and feel I have to prove a point. It’s my problem I know

I’ve been writing and reading all these things but still can’t seem to act on it. I don’t ruminate so much on things but a dark mood can be brought on by the smallest slight.

Anyway, I’m putting the tiredness down to the sunburn and the crankiness due to the tiredness. Tomorrow is another day (though the sunburn will still be there).