Clear Away The Clouds – 5th January 2024

Live to sleep, to inject death
Into every day and forever keep
A dying breath along the way

Your body goes, follows the mind
There’s no return, God only knows
You cannot find, cannot learn

Clear the clouds, your time is fixed
Give it worth and raise the shrouds
Before you’re nixed from this earth

inspired by a quote from Marcus Aurelius


Today I’m feeling:

A little tired but in a good mood.  I’ve been waking up before my alarm quite often which is a little annoying as I know I’m not getting quite enough good sleep.  This morning as I was dozing and waiting for my alarm to go off I wondered if it was because I was excited to exercise.  That was quite an interesting thought for me. 

I moved on to Intermediate leg exercises this morning and got through it pretty easily.  I don’t think I can move up to Intermediate arm exercises yet though.  I still don’t have the strength in my back, shoulders and arms yet and I’m still waiting for my right shoulder to fully recover before getting back into even the Basic exercises that I normally do.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the drivers that let me cut into their queues so that I could get to work a little quicker this morning (actually every work morning!).  Traffic is getting busier and busier along the bypass now and the dumb traffic light systems they have in place frustrate everybody. 

Anyway, I will let people in when I am in a similar situation and see other folks being in a hurry.

The best thing about today was:

Getting paid!  But now I have to be really careful with the reduced payment again this month.

Can I stick to no more than two coffees a day and nix the third that I have every other day or so? Buy less snacks, no candy for the kids, no meat sticks for the pups….?

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As soon as I got paid I settled my account with Gui at House.  That was just over 1000 baht! Gah! 

He has offered to let me pay once a week before but I told him I didn’t want to do that because I can fool myself by only paying 130 baht a day, convinced that that amount is acceptable.  But seeing 1000 baht a week…..that I can’t rationalise!

Something I learned today?

Today was Baitoey’s birthday.  I only taught her a little bit last year and she was quite quiet in class but she is always friendly and playful with me since then.  I gave her 5 baht as a gift because that was the only money I had in my wallet!  My last 5 baht!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

My old student Noah was complaining about T. David this morning and then in the afternoon, after they had a class together T. David complained about Noah and her attitude.  So I thought I would message her and see what the story was. 

She said she has given up in his class because he goes too fast and she doesn’t understand.  When she told me that other students do understand I encouraged her to ask them for help (though I know she has struggled to make good friends in this class).  I told her not to give up and that I will help encourage her as much as I can.

Kru Ning talked to me a little after our classes about some of the grade 7 students we share as they sometimes don’t show up to her class, or do little or nothing whilst there. I confirmed that they were a little difficult to get motivated and gave her my suggestions though I struggle with them too. 

It was nice to actually have a Thai teacher ask my opinion, or for my help, with our students.  I guess usually they don’t because perhaps they don’t want to admit that they are in that situation or admit that perhaps a foreigner might have another angle or useful idea.

I took this picture because when I got home I found a package from Ryu in Tokyo with his Stacked State CDs and t-shirt plus his solo CDs. I will listen to them tomorrow. A weekend of furious fastcore.

No More However – 4th January 2024

There’s no more debating
The words that you’re stating
Broke down my defence
Pushed me off the fence
There’s no more however
I’ll live this truth forever
No more other hand
A line in the sand
Fighting the good fight
Confirming I am right

Having said that though
No! Tell me it ain’t so!


Today I’m feeling:

Positive and happy though also a little saddened at some circumstances that arose last night when Amy’s brother and girlfriend came to visit.  Things are happening in the family space that are a little upsetting for Amy and she is quite bothered by them.  It feels like another thing to push her away from Thailand unfortunately.

Today I’m grateful for:

Funfai again as this morning she presented me with a big bag of almonds. 

One of her quirks tickles me in that when she doesn’t know the answer to a question she says ‘I don’t know’.  This may not sound odd when written down but it is sometimes quite difficult to get people here to admit that they don’t know something.  Often they will just give some bullshit answer. 

I’m glad Funfair happily admits not knowing things though.  To me, that shows a desire to learn, or an acceptance that it is ok not to know everything.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching this extra (grade 10) class.  I found out in the morning it is a pretty good class including many of my old students so it was good to have some familiar faces there because that made me feel comfortable, which in turn made the other students comfortable too. 

I’d put together a quick reading and writing lesson in the morning and wondered if we would have enough time to do it but they pretty much breezed through it and were happy to be corrected on pronunciation.  It’s a stark contrast to my grade 7 class in the morning which was like herding cats as usual.  I enjoyed both classes in different ways. 

I’m quite happy to have taken on this extra class despite it meaning extra work for me.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I still didn’t get paid yet and had to beg money off Amy to put petrol in the car.  I’m down to 61 baht in the bank and 40 baht in my wallet.  I’m taking this as an opportunity to be frugal and make do with what I already have.  Except coffee.  That is on credit, thankfully, though I hate doing it.

Something I learned today?

In Switzerland, it’s illegal to own just one guinea pig because they’re social beings and get lonely.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

This morning Paen messaged me asking if she could come and join my class with the grade 7s.  The reason being that she is developing a friendship with Praew and wants to see if she will be her girlfriend. 

As I didn’t really have much planned for the class except some Quizizz and as I’d like to help Paen make a new friend or girlfriend I allowed her to come and sit and help a little too. 

Both Praew and Paen were happy to have this chance to be together.  Paen has struggled with friendships with her peers so I’m hopeful that making friends with a younger girl could work out for her.

Are you a doer, a maker or a leader?

Out of these three choices, I reckon I’m a doer.  I’ve always been an advocate for doing something, anything and I still follow that line of thinking.

My doing recently involves the challenge of presenting a poem every day.  I’m not sure how long I have been doing it now, maybe it’s two years already.

Also, trying to go back and add information to this blog about the past is a monumental and endless task which is the kind of stupid thing I like to get into.

Previously, in the absence of anyone else doing it, I started the record label, organised shows and tours and shared the information to help others to do the doing too.

Part of that crosses over to being a maker, as I made part of the Sydney/Australia/Asia music scene and am still involved in that, though not as relentlessly as before.

As a teacher, I hope that I am helping in making responsible adults and this also crosses over to being a leader.

I don’t play well with adults and have no desire to lead them, to lead a work team or the like but seem to have fallen into being a de facto leader for my students.


I took this picture because Nudee and her friends were trying to make TikTok videos after they’d finished my classwork. I was outside the classroom and this picture was actually taken through a highly tinted window (it’s very difficult to see inside with the naked eye) so I was surprised that the picture even came out so well. Ironically, the girls were all too embarrassed to have their picture taken and I grabbed this shot before they put their hands up in front of the camera. Nudee likes to wear colourful contact lenses which make her eyes look amazing. She also has a lip-piercing which is prohibited by the school rules (hence the mask) but I have seen many kids flouting it recently and I like it.

No Sight – 25th December 2023

The miracles you’ve forgotten
Are still behind those tired eyes
So long now woe begotten
Every day the same grey skies

No longer believing in dreams
Since they all became real
All is exactly as it seems
You no longer know how to feel

Approaching the end of the night
The winter is setting in
And cold hearts start to bite
With no sight of the spring


Today I’m feeling:

A little down on the way to school but better once surrounded by happy smiling Christmas greeting kids.

A little disappointed but happily so that there are no morning classes as kids prepare for the sports parade on Wednesday and there’s a chance there will be no classes in the afternoon or tomorrow too, which is kind of a shame as I had a cruisey time planned for the kids, just making Christmas cards for all my classes this week. 

Still, it means I’m already here back in my spot at House, drinking coffee already.

Today I’m grateful for:

Fui, who I haven’t seen for a few months but as we talked a little whilst he ordered his coffee he paid for my cup as a Christmas gift.  I wish I had some extra money at the moment to be able to do likewise.

My grade 8 students who welcomed onlooker, my grade 7 student Spain, to play football with them.  Spain has some kind of social problem but is a good kid at heart.  He senses safety with me so follows me around a lot and he was watching me play football and the kids kept asking me who he was. 

I went off for a while to see what else was happening around the school and when I returned he was happily joining in with their games with a big smile on his face.

The best thing about today was:

Playing football and volleyball with my students instead of sitting in the classroom with them.  I waited to see if they would come to class but it was apparent that they wouldn’t and no one else appeared to be teaching either so instead of stealing off I decided to stay longer and play with the kids at least.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The change to the classes today was a bit annoying as I had left the Christmas card making activity until this week.  But still, both teacher and students prefer not to be in the classroom as much as possible, so I guess I will convert this into a new years card making activity come next week.

Something I learned today?

From watching a classic books recommendations video I should try to track down Woman In White, Vanity Fair and Nicolas Nickleby.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Jan and Apple the art pads to write in and give to Baipad, who was sick at home again today.

I joined in with many activities through out the day, encouraging everyone, laughing with them and generally showing a good time and attitude.  Even Kwang has forgiven me for the tough time we had last week.

I dropped by the flower market to pick up some lillies for Amy as a gift.

Perhaps a vile deed was requesting credit from Gui at House for my coffee this week as I’m almost out of money now.

If you’re going to win the lottery, would you rather win £10 million, or £100 million?

Why would someone choose $10 million?  Yes, it’s enough but why not choose $100 million and give $90 million away?  It’s an odd question anyway as there’s no choice in a lottery.

As this is such a fantastical question I’m not even going to think about who I might give $90 million away to.

I took this picture because the red team were practising their cheerleading and dance routines in the cool morning air. Soon after I went off for my second coffee of the day.

Personal Hells – 5th April 2022

Eyes agog at AMOLED screens of trusting fakes
Ears alert to every chime, bell and whistle
*They spit weird dilatory rants and pithy takes
Or burp up half-digested chunks of newsfeed gristle*

*from That Guy From The Internet’s ‘This is a newsletter’ newsletter. Love these two phrases.


Reason must lead the way no matter what good fortune comes along.

Ryan Holiday, Daily Stoic

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I have managed to survive the last eight days on very little money and especially to Art for allowing me to have daily coffee on credit!

What To Do? – 5th August 2021

Son, I learned a lot of lessons in life
I should pass them on to you
But you don’t want to listen to me
Too old to know what you go through

*You’re going to learn things the hard way
That’s how I learned them too*
One day, you too will realise this
And then you’ll also wonder what to do

*pinched from Drive Like Jehu’s ‘Caress’


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Gui and Art for allowing me to get coffee on credit for a few days while I wait for payday. It’s not that I don’t have money but that I can’t let the amount in the bank go under 400,000 baht for my visa application.


Well, I thought about telling George as I wrote yesterday but then this morning he saw me down one of the hallways and didn’t wave or say hello at all. I shouted out hello but he’d stepped out of sight. Well!

So, anyway, I went into the teacher’s room where he was sitting and said good morning directly to him to which he replied with a quiet disposition. I got some water and as I was leaving asked him how he was keeping. As has been the case almost every time I try to start a conversation with him I have to repeat the question again as if he wasn’t listening, paying attention or couldn’t hear. I asked him about Bee and said I missed her. It wasn’t going to get much beyond platitudes.

Anyway, I made an effort. I appreciate that for myself.