Living With A Stranger – 27th August 2024

*Sometimes I feel like I’m living with a stranger
I’m talking to myself
The branches hang down to the stream
A tilt to somewhere else
That I don’t know

Words are gathered and turned to stone
Scratch and blow to see old bones
I don’t know why

We keep it tethered, our world unfeathered
We’re out of step, so don’t forget
To keep your ear to the ground

Returning home to meet the stranger
She’s talking to herself
From scratch, she bakes such lovely cakes
But words are somewhere else
That I don’t know

We tilt until the room is feathered
Or blow until the stone is gathered
I don’t know why

I can see her avalanches turn into sharpened branches
To break her bones, so don’t forget
To keep your head to the ground

*Lifted from Three’s Swann Street as are the rhymes and rhythms. Submitted to No Theme Thursday (the two pictures) and The Sunday Whirl Wordle #669. This poem partially reflects on the time with my second wife, Kyoko and how, eventually, our cultural backgrounds couldn’t be overcome.

Wordle #669

The Diplomat’s Anthem – 16th March 2023

My respected enemy, my hated friend
Our love to hate may never end
A battle of wits, a game of pretend
A hold on hope on which we depend

13th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts


Today I’m feeling:

Happy, content and later, tired.

The temperature is perfect at around 7 pm and I feel like going for a walk but there’s nowhere really to go. I could walk just for the sake of it but feel that my house is so comfortable it’s challenging to motivate myself by this time of day. I think about walking to Daytripper but I usually go there with my laptop to either work or write and I don’t want to carry a bag with me all that way.

First-world problems in a third-world country for this entitled white boy.

Today I’m grateful for:

My work situation that allows me so much free time that I sometimes struggle to fill it appropriately.

I got home before 10am and have been doing all sorts of little things from reading to cleaning to vacuuming and suddenly it is evening already and I wonder where the day has gone, and everything is ok.

If I wasn’t doing (what feels like) a whole load of nothing I’d have to be at school usually teaching or on days like these with no classes filling up time with useless activity.

I’m so lucky.

The best thing about today was:

Seeing lots of excited happy kids at school for the graduation ceremony. If they weren’t graduating they were preparing to present gifts to their friends and siblings.

It’s funny to see some of the ‘bad’ students celebrating in this kind of traditional ceremony and it reminded me that the kids have a cultural understanding of expectations which I will never have and which sometimes brings us to odds.

While pushing them with all sorts of possibilities for their futures they understand their realities which I can’t see.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Not much really. A car freshener I ordered online got refunded as it was out of stock and the computer repair shop called me and advised they couldn’t access the data on the old drive which is a minor inconvenience as about 99% of my files are backed up. Nothing too wayward today.

Something I learned today?

Despite wanting to watch less YouTube I found an interesting new channel from China by journalist Miao Xiaojuan.

The AFL season starts today and there will be 4 umpires on the field now and the bench will have one sub plus 4 to interchange. Swans play on Saturday and I will watch on Sunday.

What am I looking forward to?

I’m looking forward to going to Australia in October. It’s been five years since I left and I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been. Australia is what made me though and I am very fond of it there. It will be good to catch up with Hayden and Jochen and to look around my old haunts to see how or if they have changed.

I took this picture because this climbing plant has suddenly found its wheels and trying to overgrow everywhere, reaching out to find new attachments. The remnants of last year’s growth are still stuck up in the tree tops, dead and decaying yet still stuck. I have to fight it back this year.
Fatman report

Gob On You (Shenzhen) – 28th April 2001

Surviving on my wits! Finally got some money! Otherwise was in trouble! Forgot my PIN number for my card – idiot. Luckily Bank of China let me withdraw over the counter – feel much better now. Met a nice lady on the train who looked after me and got me on a bus close to my hostel. Vivian came to meet me in her lunch hour. She will be very busy so not sure will see much of her. Not sure whether to stay in SZ or go to Beijing early to meet Yuan Yuan – call her later. SZ is better than GZ and where I’m staying is well developed. Food is good – seems reasonably priced and I found coffee – thank god! China has a strange smell – kinda cross between soy and dirt and old incense – and that is when it doesn’t stink like shit – if China wants to attract more foreigners it should figure out what the hell that smell is – could be raw sewerage…. There’s people everywhere of course – and girls – beautiful girls – everywhere! Slept a lot so far. It’s about 30 degrees here. Too hot. But will venture into the city later, it looked very trendy.

5th August 2021 – I’m enjoying looking on Maps to try and remember more about Shenzhen. I can see there are lots of interesting places around the area I was staying now. This is around Shennan Avenue. This highway was relatively new at the time and a lot of landscaping was being completed. There were a few high rises but not as many as I can see now. Although I didn’t go and look, it felt like the development hadn’t gone out much further yet but I can see that has all changed.

The nice lady (and her friends) on the train worked for Amway, which I found surprising. I knew of Amway when I lived in the UK but never came across it in Australia and yet here they were in China. I felt a bit guarded that she might try to sell me stuff but she didn’t and she kindly got me from the train station to the bus station (right next door I think) and explained to the driver where I was trying to get to.

I knew only a little about Shenzhen at the time. I’d heard it was developing quickly from its original farmland and that it was next to the Hong Kong border. In fact, at that time there were so few skyscrapers that it was obvious that those I could see in the distance were in Hong Kong. It’s only looking on the map now I realise how close to the sea I was. There was definitely no salty sea breeze going around. I can also see that there is a metro or train line now, where a bus was the only option before. There was also not many cars on the roads.

Vivian was a smart young lady around my age but it soon became apparent to me that she was looking for a husband and a way to progress her life outside China. This would become a common theme amongst almost every female who approached me on this trip. Looking back, I think I jumped to many conclusions at the time without understanding much about the nuances.

Anyway, Vivian was nice, kind and helpful and we went sightseeing together a few times over the next few days even though, as I mention, I was already thinking about getting up to Beijing more quickly.

I compare Shenzhen with Guangzhou but I really only got a superficial look at both places. I think it was just that there were fewer people in Shenzhen and as everything was newly built it seemed a lot cleaner and modern.

I was staying in a hostel which was pretty big, maybe 6 or 8 floors and many rooms per floor. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting from a hostel and I found that many people were migrant workers and students living there semi-permanently. I was in a small room of eight that was pretty much 4 bunk beds in one room and a shower/toilet in another. This was also my first time coming across squat toilets which was a real test of my skinny thighs.

Luggage was just kept on the floor or your own bunk. Despite the room being fully occupied I barely saw anyone else whilst I was there. There was an older Portuguese guy on the bottom of my bunk and he was making connections for production, import and export of furniture. I made friends in the evening with a happy-go-lucky Chinese student who took me to the restaurants next door where he helped me find food for my pescatarian diet. This involved some finger-sized fish that I would spend ages trying to take the bones out of before realising that it was easier just to crunch them up and swallow them! I was on a steep learning curve but revelling in it.

It was stupidly hot and humid for me, not like the dry heat I had grown accustomed to in Australia. This necessitated finding beer which was a successful endeavour with one caveat. Despite beer being ridiculously cheap and available, it was almost never cold! On that first night returning to the hostel I asked if there was a fridge anywhere but I was out of luck. Seeing my disappointment (and disgust at having to drink warm beer – oh, how I have changed since leaving England!) they quickly offered a solution. Grabbing a set of keys they took me to the Coke vending machine, opened it up and stored my beers inside. Anytime I wanted one I just had to come and ask them to open the machine. I found this delightful and caring, though I think they weren’t quite prepared on how fast I would drink and keep asking them to open the machine up for me. The beers weren’t strong and due to the humidity, it was easy to drink quickly. This also required navigating toilets more often than I would have liked too but that problem becomes less a stress the more you drink anyway.

The coffee I found was probably just the 3-in-1 sachets but at least it was caffeine. The struggle to find coffee when travelling was real then!

New countries have new smells, as I had discovered on arrival in Australia. The smell in China may just have been people, the close proximity of everyone, their flasks of tea….I don’t know. The stink of shit was probably the reality – at a point where it wasn’t a stench that made you gag but like the sweet aroma of your own farts. Though sometimes it could veer dangerously close to inducing vomiting. Anyone Chinese person I mentioned this to had no idea what I was talking about. Not only for them was it the normal smell of fresh air but I later learned through experiences with durian and stinky tofu that many did not view smells as either good or bad, but that the smell was just the smell. This realisation was quite dramatic and made me understand, or at least view, things a little differently.

The girls, the pretty girls….well I have no particular memories about girls in Shenzhen and I’m sure there were far more plain, ordinary girls around that I did not pay particular attention to. But, there was one afternoon when I was walking to get some food along the completely quiet pavement next to the highway and a beautiful girl in a tight black dress was approaching from the opposite direction. She didn’t notice me at all and as she was about 20 feet away she hocked up a huge gob of spit and deposited it on the sidewalk. My first real spitting experience shattered illusions.