From now I’m going to tell you that these selections are highly curated, carefully selected and specifically ordered for your listening edification by world-renowned DJtenzenmen.
I tell you this because these kinds of things sell!
The truth is that the music is randomly selected by iTunes – but as the iTunes library is already carefully selected with only the best top quality material from 50 years of research then satisfaction is surely guaranteed!
This week there’s music from Shield Your Eyes, Cecil Buffalo and the Prophets, DJ PicaPicaPica, Invisible Ghost Luigi, Mutants, Butthole Surfers, PFM, Sun City Girls, Gelbart, Ne Zhdali, The Freeze, Massacre, Cypress Hill, Deep Turtle and Orthrelm.
Intro and background music by Utotem.
Brain dump (by mouth)
Attempting morning pages exercise using dictationwith phone (Samsung)
Your post goes against community standards Who was the man in the castle? Ride around MFU placing stickers – advertising podcast – my stickers are tiny – maybe some people will see, will notice Utopia this morning – met Pim, Fern’s friend Woke up late – decided to turn off alarm in the middle of the night – My plan schedule now out of whack Soon I will read Hendrix – Maybe sort out some more music – Do yoga – Meditating – some more reading – Maybe record some more podcasts in the evening Try to relax Teaching English online – I don’t look forward to it but enjoy it when it happens 2 o’clock already Big rain – big sun big rain Next week not many hours – How to make use of the time – Always things to do
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my cracking neck these days. Hopefully, it is cracking more because it is becoming more flexible with doing more stretching and yoga. It feels sore but better than before.
Sweaty workout with the aircon. Poor Deep Turtle poster, how much longer can it live? – the shelf isn’t straight – the torn poster is straight but torn! Kneeling to write, sweaty workout for five mins, five mins is it enough? My muscles ache so don’t push it. Remember two things today – check Aing’s grammar and… What’s the other thing – my brain is forgetting more easily. Old or painkillers – it’s okay I’m okay. My toenails annoy me for some reason, I want them as short as possible – what are they for? Remnant monkey claws. Books I want to read. Read and read, get lost in those worlds. I think the other thing I want to remember is to do that introductory lesson for English revision. Sitting now, kneeling was uncomfortable, should do at a desk but desk is cluttered. Should write quicker in cursive but even less legible than this, doesn’t matter – tomorrow cursive, see if I remember – thumbs ache – When to study Thai Drops? This task is to empty brain and meditate – maybe should do before my five-minute workout – experiment with schedule. Coffee, sudden thought of coffee at Eat and Sleep. 80.8 kg today, it’s okay but want to stay permanently under 80 kg – exercise – no beer! Books, books, books – stomach okay today – situps – let’s do some. Okay so done empty brain?! Meditate.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to go to Baralee this morning and enjoy the relaxing environment with coffee and friends.
To-do list
Study Drops in the morning
Make your own teacher video for media lesson
Work on Lesson 1 – English review ✅
Call Bronwyn and find out how she is ½
As I was going through my morning routine I realised that I should do the Drops study first so I didn’t end up doing it this morning. That’s ok – things fall into place.
We got given a new video to make on Friday so that kinda threw out some plans but I remembered I had something that I could use from Anuban but the files were at home so I just carried on and finished off a couple of other things and will do the video planning tomorrow instead.
Bronwyn wasn’t online so I just sent her a message.
A relaxing day at work all round. There are a very few students around and that is reminding me that they will all be back at some point and the real challenge is waiting for me. having all this time to prepare though is very handy.
Tomorrow I will be able to include Drops into my routine in the morning and have set my alarm for 5 minutes earlier. It’s light at 5.30 am already, it’s sometimes hard to stay fully asleep until my alarm goes off – especially with the cats wanting to get in and out.
Tomorrow I also will try to talk more with some of the other teachers that I don’t really know well yet. Everyone seems to be getting along and there’s no feeling of ‘them and us’ that I had in Primary or at Anuban. It’s strange! I hope it remains like this.
Got the cuddles I sought and even though Friday night felt like Friday night those endomorphins were still shooting through my brains and little restless Shaun decided to open up all fourteen crates downstairs in the garage and bring up all the contents into the flat which was another two hours running around, and I was bouncing up and down the stairs two at a time with boxes of records and tapes and comics and clothes, so pleased to have them back in my possession again and yippee, we found the Deep Turtle tapes straight away but by the time I’d finished rushing about we weren’t in the mood to hear them, Broni unable to cope with my activity rate watched TV and relaxed herself for the evening which was fine with me. Dripping with sweat I jumped in the shower for the second time that evening and fell into bed dead dog tired.
Deep Turtle – I love my air guitar!
Stayed there for quite some time too despite the urge to get up at five in the morning again and when we finally did make it out of bed Broni headed into the city while I unpacked some boxes sorting out CDs and generally jumping up and down with my air guitar to Deep Turtle at full blast, this, of course, proved fatal to my over worked body, my brain not fully realising quite how exhausted I was and I found myself in bed when Broni came home knocking on the door.
Sometime later we headed up to Hurstville to go and see The Nightmare Before Christmas, an animated tale of the folk from Halloween town taking over Christmas and abducting old Santa, some corny bits didn’t help but it is Disney so what do you expect but it was the animation that really stole the show, brilliantly done with so much going on on screen at one time.
We couldn’t quite get it out of our heads some article on the radio Broni had heard earlier in the day that detailed the beginnings of Christmas and how it had evolved over the years and where the Santa figure came from, apparently in the early part of this century Santa had all but been forgotten when Coca Cola used him for an ad campaign and that’s where Santa’s current red and white colours originate from.
The film had put us in high spirits so we picked up a bottle of champagne and got drunk watching another movie in the comfort of our beautiful home, sat curled up together on the lounge. We made it in to bed and again slept the sleep of the dead.
Sunday morning was cold and quiet except for the paper boy blowing his whistle at eight in the morning, with thoughts going through my head about where best to shove his whistle, sometime later actually getting up when the sun decided to come out and stay out and fry our socks, up to thirty six degrees today, we’d arranged to meet P_ and the kids after their visit to the church in the city but arrived too late due to our error on the trains and Broni fell about in hysterics, the heat and the pressure getting too much for her, I tried to comfort as she flopped on the cold ground in Hyde Park saying she wanted to be a leaf, I stayed calm and kicked her butt into gear and got us on a train up the North Shore to Hornsby where we ended up about an hour later, the sun still ferocious not a cloud in sight.
At P_’s we kept the kids occupied, later taking Ben and Damien up into the town to the olympic size outdoor swimming pool where we all swam about playing diving games and me getting better every time I touch the water, this time managing to do handstands and sitting on the bottom, so pleased with myself I am about that.
The pool is on the edge of bush land and gum trees tower over the stands at the edge of the pool. The sky was darkening and the trees swaying and swishing in a medium wind, although warm in the pool the wind chilled the skin as you surfaced the water and slowly the clouds got darker and darker and the air became still and oppressive. The temperature taking a big increase as we walked back, the sky watching us, the clouds following closely behind.
Back at the house we sat on the verandah as thunder grumbled gently in the heavens and brief flashes lit up the dull leaves of the trees, a few drops of rain descended making little dusty balls of liquid in the dirt then as if someone had given a signal, rain cascaded in sheets and everyone made their way inside execpt for me and P_, sharing a love of the weather whatever it’s like, marvelling in it’s magnificence.
About ten seconds later, again it was impossible to believe because although the rain was heavy there was not a whiff of breeze, but bang, the wind was a rage, big trees were in danger of breaking in half and the rain blew into the verandah soaking us in an instant, we couldn’t see the trees on the opposite side of the street, white sheets of water obscuring our view, we headed inside to watch it out the back, thunder louder now and lightning more frequent, we watched the trees whipping the ground, watched the fence blow over bending the iron bars in the ground, waited to see if the guinea pig cage would survive, watched it all pass over and a minute later the sun started peeking out, brightening the storm’s destruction and soon after we fixed the fence and were back out playing basketball.
We hit the train again at about eight o clock and made it through the door a couple of hours later realising that it would take us two hours to travel between Poole and London, a hell of a lot further, and we promised to get ourselves a car as soon as we got some full-time work sorted out. And of course, we’d gone through the sleep barrier and into our second wind and stayed up into the early hours before long and beautiful sleep.
Searching for photos shows that a new Aquatic Centre was built in 2010 and these were the only pictures I could find that show a little of how it was in 1994.
Jeez, it’s a strange and wondrous world. What more can happen to a man in the mere space of one week? Now seven days since last entry and I told of possibilities of fatherhood! Well!
In chronological order, Broni was into the forty days and I’d decided this was it so we came up with all sorts of wonderfully colourful names such as Moonbeast Bumflap Snot Nose but settled with Bubka Blue, Bubka being a member of that great band Deep Turtle, though I thought we’d better find out if the name Bubka had a meaning (like it could mean ‘man who milks cows’, not much of a name for a girl!)
Broni was in particularly nasty moods and I acted with little patience on occasion but how easy I forget. Her cousin Piers was traversing cross country in search of garments for his trip to Pakistan though he had no luck! He popped in for an overnight stay and we took him to the Piccolo Mondo for our favourite pizza and then to the movies.
While in the bar pre-hand Broni took off to the toilets and I chatted with Piers about jazz music – his forte! At last, someone who could advise me on jazz. When Broni came back we headed towards celluloid screens and she told me she’d started bleeding. Hmm.
We watched the film, Mrs Doubtfire, utter crap American trash, unconvincing performances and story with dubious moral ending (what bollocks thought I) and set off home where I talked to Piers with Broni quiet and pondering. Piers went out to pick up his sleeping kit from his car and me and my baby had a misunderstanding which led to tears. She told me this could be her period or worse still, a miscarriage. I had neglected her in favour of looking after our guest and did feel upset. She retired as I put Piers to bed with some John Zorn which I don’t think he was too keen on!
When I eventually came upstairs I found Bronwyn in tears and we comforted each other but I could not stem the flow and I had to let go too feeling the unbelievable sadness emanating from her soul. But I felt that this wasn’t a miscarriage and that she was late due to stress at work and from moving house. On the Monday we went to the doctor who indicated that this was more likely. I hope so too. I’m comforted in the fact that I could be prepared for the birth and raising of my children someday (soon).
On the Monday afternoon, we watched a great movie called Fried Green Tomatoes which I must confess brought a tear to my eye (and many to Broni’s). Tuesday, Broni dropped me in Poole on her way to work in Swanage, (with renewed ideas about causing herself less stress – how many times have I told her to cut down on her workload!) where I waited for the library to open.
With horrible coffee and sandwich I watched the world on its way to work and when in library looked at every single book before settling down to read the first part of Vanity of Doulouz (Kerouac again, friends!), what a great story it was too, dealing with his teenage years and commenting, even back then, on the horrendous advancement of car and it’s associated industry, plus noticing how people seem to saunter everywhere in no particular hurry (ie on their way to the car). It was like the car had transformed everyone into strangely different people without them knowing and just accepting it. There is much debate these days on the future of transport and despite cars doubling on the roads every few years, it looks to be a wasted industry. How I wish we could do away with them. I have been walking to and from Poole all week and it is such a good feeling but then I have the time at the moment. Most normal days I would not, such a trap.
Well, after that I went to the physio at the hospital, a nice young lady, name of Kate, who prodded by bones, pulled and twisted, unsure of my problem. I sat seven minutes on a machine that buzzed electricity into me, supposedly to confuse my brain that there was no pain there. However, that afternoon was the most painful it had been!
Evening passed quiet but I had a fitful sleep complaining of stomach ache and sure enough, I puked up a mouthful in the morning after Broni went to work. I went back to sleep and was awoke by Broni’s phone call at around 10. Straight after I puked up the rest of last night’s tea, grape skins and all! Feeling better I went back to bed and was next awake at twenty to two! I watched a Jacke Chan movie with John and went back to bed again so tired was I.
Broni cared for me the rest of the evening and we soon fell asleep. Long gone are the days of wakeness til two in the morning playing with each other under silky sheets, we work so hard and relax little at this stage but I’m eager to tidy things up here for a big relax in Oz when I get there. I hope my baby can stand it.
And finally, today, Broni once again dropped me into Poole after the most ridiculous argument we had about slices of bread! I have to tell you, dear reader, here and now I talk of arguments often but our life together is not so, we live in bliss and in love and our affection grows stronger every day. Each argument is a lesson – but sometimes us pupils are unwilling to learn.
In the book I’m reading, Bukowski tells he enjoys a women’s company at first but soon finds her eccentricities annoying and becomes tired of her but he has little hope of lasting relationships and is unable to deal with problems rationally. We know we can and our real care for each other will overcome any problems that may arise, never once have I considered walking away from the beautiful woman with whom I now share my life, not for anyone else, not for anything else, what possible reason could there be?
I waited around Poole before my physio appointment drinking that shitty coffee again, this time reading Neal Cassady’s autobiography, more good reading. Physio advised I may have a problem in one joint which leads to all the other problems so sent me to pick up a brace from upstairs. On my way out I met long ago buddy Jeremy, whose pictures me and Broni were looking at only last week! Last time I saw him was about five years ago and I didn’t really want to talk to him and I felt a bit uncomfortable today. I told him of my plans but he didn’t seem particularly interested so I let him talk about himself. He’s been married and divorced after three months, has a child with Vanessa H (from old school days even I remember, short blonde hair) but is living with another girl from Colehill who he was with, arm a-bandaged. And his story depressed me for we were such good friends and now he seems to have a madness that seems to affect so many people. He told of fights and people coming to his house with baseball bats (this is how her arm was broke!) in search of his blood! Surely this is madness? Or mere childishness and oneupmanship. “I’m better than you”.
I feel like I have grown up but not grown old, these people seem to want to recreate their past unhappiness from childhood or teenage years, are they doomed, will they ever see their glory? Life is so rich and varied, yet it is easy to get bogged down in it all. I hope one day to look back on these words and be happy that I got myself out of that bog and stayed out of it!
Jeremy still spoke with the humour of old and I liked that but I think he lost his way with women somewhere, showing none of them much respect that I could see. I wonder if he felt self-conscious telling me all this? I think maybe when we were friends he looked up to me and often took my advice on things and telling me all this he could sense my disapproval? It was a strange encounter and to be honest I’d prefer not to meet him again. When I talk about the madness, I wonder what it is that gets into people. Everyone seems to bitter and resentful. Jeremy’s smiles were unconvincing of happiness. Old Mark B has the same madness, aimless in life and hateful towards women and often others, for no reason what so ever. Don’t they understand that respect has to be earned, both ways? Maybe their lives would be happier with that kind of knowledge but with increasing age seems to come a closing of mind. Fatty I think too, is affected by it. Maybe I’m resented for being optimistic and hopeful for my future, I wish (I really do) that everyone could too.
Well, all this thought got put on paper, I’m glad. Now I think I’ll walk out somewhere and write some poetry, it is a beautiful sunny day and my mind is alive once again with a million zillion thoughts.
1994ever 