Tag: dentist

Big Bad Wolves – 10th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

She,
little
fighting girl
walking the woods,
The big bad wolves ripped her pretty dress,
All her dreams now become a nightmare,
She skirts around
the pain deep
inside
her.

He
runs wild,
teeth and snarl,
with big bad wolves,
Egged on and eager, salivating so,
ripping at her pretty dress, her cries
echo into
the darkness
of his
soul.

Inspired after reading Yassy’s poem, the form is apparently a tetracyt. Also submitted to NaPoMo.

Today I’m feeling:

A little stressed with my morning coffee and trying to get my brain in gear with the lesson planning.  It’s kicking in slowly and I’m familiar with this stage of progress when I have many, many ideas floating around and can’t keep up with them.  The rest of the day has been up and down.

Today I’m grateful for:

Momo making it to lunch today, after she messaged me yesterday that she may not be able to make it.  With Popo and Baitong we had a good catch-up over pizza and I’m happy to hear their English improvements since we last met.

The best thing about today was:

Firstly, not having to pay anything for my dental appointment and then trying the pharmacy at Central and finding 50mg tramadol for only 45 baht.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Baipad messaged me this morning telling me that she was in the hospital as she attempted to overdose (which I presume must have been last night).

I didn’t get much more information from her so I’m not sure what brought this on.  It suggests something happened out in her family village which is a bit of a worry as she mentioned bad things happening to her there before.

In the evening Anchan messaged me that she too was also in the hospital but for her it was for stomach ulcers, brought on by the stress of her family situation, no doubt.

She also told me that she and her brother also inherited the heart problem that killed her father a couple of years ago.

Something I learned today?

This morning we found that a tile from our roof got blown off in the storm last night.  Amy learned that trying to get someone to come and fix it is a complete pain in the ass.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Trying to keep on encouraging Baipad and Anchan through their difficulties.

Treating Popo, Momo and Baitong to a pizza lunch and then playing along with their TikTok videos.  It was great to catch up with them, three of my favourite students.

I took this picture because how could I refuse my favourite students asking to make TikTok videos in the shopping mall in front of passing shoppers.

Just A Friend – 14th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Being that she is someone who
Seeing makes me happy, the
Snowball’s chance in hell
A know-all’s what you are
But not everything is about you,
Shut up for a minute to
Hear the story I tell,
Clearly, it’s not about me
So you are the one who
Go and let me be my
Best for all of my friends,
Rest your head where you are

A golden shovel using Black Flag’s Jealous Again – “Who the hell are you to tell me who my friends are”, with bonus rhyming first words (mostly).
Submitted to Living Poetry’s Monday Poetry Prompt: Green

Today I’m feeling:

Better than yesterday for sure.  My throat is still a little itchy and my brain isn’t quite in gear but I have little to do at school today and can relax a lot.  Maybe I will even sleep in the dentist’s chair today.

Today I’m grateful for:

My new bridge that fixes my teeth up again until the next crumbling occurs. My mouth feels semi-normal again.

The best thing about today was:

Trying new coffee at Block Booster as Gui is in Japan for a week. The coffee was pretty good and the time flew by way too fast there and all of a sudden I had to rush to be at the dentist, who was predictably, running late.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I ran out of energy in mid-evening and didn’t get to write here or finish any Thai study. Never mind.

What does ‘home’ mean to me?

Home means safety and comfort.  

A little more obliquely, home is where my stuff is.  I can make a home anywhere.  

There was a period of time when, after living at ‘home’ with my mother for twenty-plus years I moved house more than ten times in the space of two years (including moving from the UK to Australia).  

Each of those places was home in some small way.

I took this picture because I had to take Amy to get noodles and whilst we were waiting the sun was a deep pink turning burning red through the smoky atmosphere as seen at the end of the soi.

Nine Horses – 15th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Bring me a barter
Let’s trade in the market
The nine horses
Unburdened of their wares

Wipe clean your brow
Let’s share a meal together
The nine deer
May feed us all tonight

Tell me another story
Let’s craft these words on silk
The nine monk’s poems
Will a society built

While the winds burst
Let’s change our direction
The nine dragons
Will always guide us home again

24th Jul 2024 – Submitted to dVerse – horses

Today I’m feeling:

Initially bright and energetic but then sleepy as I was driving to work. The first class went ok and kept me awake and then I almost fell asleep at the dentist’s. Looking forward to sleep tonight for sure! I wonder if I will still be sleepy then though.

Today I’m grateful for:

The dentist, for giving me a 10% discount, letting me pay $6000 baht today and the rest next month and then giving me 4 free gumbrushes.  My gums are sore now though.  

Today she cut down two of my teeth to make temporary crowns and a temporary bridge.  

Next appointment I will get the permanent bridge and then think about all the other fucked up things about my old teeth that need fixing.

The best thing about today was:

I repeated one of my lessons from yesterday with the other grade 7 class and whilst not quite as successful due to their poorer skills it still went well so I was happy with that.

Then spending some time with my old students (see below) was a lot of fun and it’s sometimes nice to not have the pressure of being the main teacher and can just try to experiment with styles of teaching or make learning fun for one or two students without having to manage the whole class.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Spending so much time at the dentist meant having to scoff two coffees down (just using one side of my mouth) and no time for reading, writing or preparing new lessons.  Getting my teeth sorted was quite a pressing need though.

Something I learned today?

The UK is in actual recession as their economy shrank 0.3% in the last quarter.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As I was lying in the dentist’s chair I was wondering if I would be ok for my afternoon class.

I was still inspired to get back though and rushed back, grabbed everything I needed and despite getting distracted by many students walking to building ten, I was only a couple of minutes late.  However, when I got there, there were only a handful of students and they were sitting on the floor playing Uno.

They told me that most of the class were doing some singing and dancing competition this afternoon (which I had heard going on in our building) so I settled in and played a round of Uno with those who were there.

After that, I decided that I would go and help Kru Ren, who was teaching my old students from last year.

I get on well with all of them and after asking Kru Ren’s permission I helped many students to create a dialogue.  They were all very reluctant because Kru Ren isn’t strict with them but as I bounced around the room playing, helping and inspiring he got himself involved too.

I see the Thai teachers just assigning work and hoping that some of the kids do it.  I don’t blame them because of the extra tasks that they get given but it’s not something that I am very comfortable doing unless I’m tired myself and want to step off the gas a little.

What is a defining moment of my life?

I think I’ve answered this before. I could easily point to my two immigrant moves, from the UK to Australia and then from Australia to Thailand.  I could point to any of my three marriages or the special time with TLJ.  Travelling to China, to Malaysia and Singapore. 

But probably the most defining moment was something that I wasn’t even aware of and that was my dad dying when I was just 18 months old.  I can’t even say how this was a defining moment and even as I’m writing this I’m wondering if it even was.  Does it define me?  I don’t feel like I can even be defined by a single moment so perhaps all of the above apply?  I thought about this moment of my dad dying because my life would have been totally different if that event hadn’t happened.

Sarah (at front) took this picture because she is always trying to snatch my phone out of my pocket and today she succeeded. I knew she took it but I was busy talking with other students. I couldn’t find her for about five minutes and was expecting 1000 photos by the time I got my phone back. Fortunately, there weren’t too many and among the predictable shots of the floor and ceiling, I thought this one was quite nice. Sarah and her accomplice, Iphone.

Walking In Darkness – 26th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Without the light, it’s easy to submit
Wild and brave men no longer thrive
Those empty spaces are full of it
Desperate hands grasping to survive

These men bleed, kept in silence
There’s no longer a world to save
Tired of all the endless violence
In darkness rot the men so brave

Inspired by this post at John Coyote’s blog
17th Dec 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – darkness

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more awake this morning after struggling to get up.  I really wanted to sleep more.  I noticed that my stomach has lost a little more excess flab so I’m happy about that.  Keep going.

Today I’m grateful for:

The receptionist at the dental clinic who happily changed my dental appointment from next week to mid-February because, and I told her this, I don’t have any money to pay until I paid again.  We both talked in a mixture of English and Thai and could understand each other clearly and I wai’d her my thanks as I left.

The best thing about today was:

…well, it seems strange to call this the best thing but it is certainly something that stands out. 

For my last grade 7 class of the day, I asked the kids to log in to the Quiz on their phones.  Aomsin, who was sitting right in front of me in the front row, said she couldn’t because she had no battery.  I explained to her in English that I told the class many times that for my class they must always have enough battery and good internet access. 

Aomsin’s English is not that good yet though and whilst she could tell that I was being serious she clearly did not understand the details.  This was Friday afternoon, the last hours of the day and I was feeling laid back and playful.  The other kids could sense that.  I told her that I take away 5 points in the system if they are not prepared. I was smiling and had no intention to do that but wanted her to know that she should always be prepared.

Anyway, I translated into Thai for her so she could understand and she nodded and looked down at her phone.  Gunn, sitting next to her, looked at me, looked at her and then looked at me again.  Aomsin then started talking in Thai, sounding like complaining-explaining and looked back up to me, with a slightly pleading face and then I saw a tear fall down each of her cheeks. 

I couldn’t believe it.  I wiped away each tear and said ‘Hey, come on, it’s not that serious.’ Again, she didn’t quite get it.  I comforted her and told her in Thai that I was only playing with her. 

Gunn cracked up laughing at her but I wanted her to feel better.  Then she started really balling her eyes out but also laughing at the same time.  Laughing and crying at herself and her friends.  It was like she really wanted to feel an emotion deeply but also realised how absurd it was.  She was smiling and laughing but couldn’t stop herself from crying. 

Other kids started paying attention and couldn’t understand why everyone looked happy and smiling but Aomsin was crying.  Gunn quickly offered a solution with his charger (why didn’t she just ask him to borrow it in the first place!) and even that couldn’t settle her down.  Gunn talked some more to her and I went and attended a couple of other students before coming back after a few minutes. 

She had settled herself by this time but when I asked her to do the quiz she said she couldn’t yet.  I got down on my knees and wai’d her my apologies many times over and both she and Gunn cracked up laughing again.

I guess it’s a good lesson for me that not everyone gets the vibe or feeling of the class and whilst I can be quite strict about what I want I’m not so often angry about anything. I can sense Aomsin is sensitive, not just in my class but in general and I should be aware of that and make sure that she understands when something is playful or serious.  I could be wrong but I don’t think she was really upset with what happened and maybe there were other things going on for her and she was having a bad day and this just tipped her over the edge.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After picking up my coffee and making sure to be back in school for first class I was wondering why the building was so quiet.  No kids!  What’s going on? You can read more below.  How did I handle it?  By taking the free time opportunity to write here.

Something I learned today?

This morning my first class was delayed as there was something going on.  As I was in the classroom ready to teach I decided to go and find out what it was all about.  It was about the upcoming election for a student to the school board. 

I walked around and ended up talking with Jet and asked her who she would vote for and why.  I then asked if she would want to run for election when she was in grade 11 and she said ‘Why would I want to do that!?’ 

Ok, I said, who do you think in your class would be suitable and she thought Anchan.  She said Anchan is a little older than the rest of the class and can control them quite well.  I wasn’t too surprised at this as I could see last year that she had some leadership qualities if she chose to go in that direction.  It was interesting to hear this from another student though.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan a positive message based on what Jet had said above, to show my support and pride in her.  I told her to keep going. (Just as I told myself this morning – keep going!)

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 6. Keep a Journal. No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.

Journaling has only become a habit since moving to Thailand and somewhat inspired by starting 1994ever to document my year in 1994.  Because I have ended up with fewer external things to do I have had more time to develop this habit and it doesn’t feel like a chore like when I was a teenager trying to keep up a diary.  As the idea states you become a better thinker and that is what I want to be.  Yesterday’s idea was about strengthening the body through exercise, today is about strengthening the brain through journaling.

I took this picture because we had to cut our three big trees down as the roots would fuck up the buildings. It looks so strange and we’re a little sad because they were big healthy trees that gave a lot of shade.

The Teller And The Told – 8th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

The movement of air was released
As it passed through shaking lips
The ears were moved by the vibrations
But the brain only received some drips

Over again these actions repeated
And therefore nothing was learned
Forever frustrated, the teller and the told
And so it will be, no respect earned

11th Dec 2025 – Shared with Esther Chilton’s prompt #94 – respect

Today I’m feeling:

Ready to go, ready to do, ready to be.  Struggled through the new abs exercises but didn’t feel quite as much aching around the sides this time.  Back to some arm work tomorrow even though my shoulder isn’t quite yet 100 percent.

Today I’m grateful for:

The dental clinic because I had to change my appointment since I’m now teaching an extra class on Thursday.

The best thing about today was:

Watching my second lot of grade 8s making well-wishing cards and Poppy going out into the playground and giving the card to her crush.  

Then after that, Nicha and Tonkla gave each other cards in what could finally see them become closer.  Nicha has been crushing on Tonkla for a couple of months already.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Creme brought two kittens in to school today.  They are just two days old and their mum has disappeared.  She has to feed them goats milk every two hours.  

Is that good for them? I don’t know.  I don’t know if they will make it.  

Too many cats here and not enough responsible owners.  Everyone loves cats but they don’t want to or can’t afford to pay for them properly.

Something I learned today?

Arsenal are out of the FA Cup, Manchester City beat Huddersfield 5-0 and Israel has already spent 60 billion dollars on its genocide of Palestinians.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent messages to Nicha and Poppy telling them I was proud of their bravery today.

I encouraged and supported Nut and Namsai when I could see them understanding the work I gave them today.

Are these good deeds?  They feel like just the deeds of a teacher. It’s good to note them for myself I guess so that I am reminded of them in the future.

Write about a time when you laughed uncontrollably.

There is a joke, a basic form of which is below, that I used to love to tell when I was maybe 13 or 14 years old.  You can see from the text that the joke is not very long but with a bit of practice you can make it last as long as you like.  

I don’t know where I originally heard the joke but it got a good laugh when I first told it and then, when others had joined, I was asked to tell it again and soon it became a request and even though everyone knew the punchline, which is hilarious because it isn’t even that funny, the laughter was in the telling.  

At some point in one telling of the joke it took so long to tell because everyone was rolling around the room in tears of laughter, including myself.  I reckon it took about an hour.  I felt that that was the ultimate telling and haven’t thought about that joke for a long time.  

As I didn’t remember where I’d heard the joke I wondered if it was even a joke that might be popular and searchable online but sure enough I found it.  

I doubt it will draw much laughter now, unless you are 13 or 14 years old perhaps.

Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant’s backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go. A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried, they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.

One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. The big day arrived, they set up all the monitoring equipment and set out to a safe distance.

The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer.

BBBAAANNNGGG!

The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 miles away) was up to his knees and the first (1 mile away) was up to his waist. When the others joined the scientist who was 1 mile away they noticed that he was in fits of laughter.

“What the %$*& is so funny?” asked one of the scientists.

“You should have seen the monkey’s face trying to get the cork back in!!!”

For FutureMe

I took this picture because Earn was happy and dancing today. Her happiness often depends on the interest of boys and she confided something I didn’t quite follow but included the sentence ‘he’s come back’. I’m trying to encourage her to love herself more.

Holding Hands – 23rd November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The aching thrill of first holding hands
Believing it is only love that understands
But merging doesn’t make you as one
Still alone when the other has gone

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty positive despite a disrupted sleep due to coughing. That’s improved a little throughout the morning and I just hope I can control it when I’m sitting in the dentist’s chair. 

Today I’m grateful for:

Some of my grade 8 students stopped by to help with my grade 7’s and helped them with some reading. I think it showed both groups some healthy things.

For my grade 7’s they saw that we are all in it together, helping each other. They also saw how in interact with the grade 8’s and how they interact comfortably with me.

For the grade 8’s they can realise how much they have progressed since they were doing similar work last year.

7.30pm – just got out from the dentist after a successful removal of my dirty old gnarly broken tooth. I’m grateful to the dentist who did a great job explaining everything and quickly and easily removing the tooth.

I can always remember the Hong Kong dentist back in Chatswood who was so short that he had to brace his foot against the chair to pull out one of my wisdom teeth. It took him a good few minutes.

The best thing about today was:

Getting home around midday feeling quite happy and satisfied with things and then hopping into bed for a little Thai study and some comic book reading before weird disrupted light sleep that I enjoyed because of crazy thoughts and dreams.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At the dentist I was given three options for my broken tooth.

One was for root canal and crown but they said it would involve removing some bone along the whole side of the jaw to keep everything level. I didn’t like the sound of that much.

Another option is to pull the tooth and replace it with an implant but that is 45000 baht! Two months wages!

The final option is to pull the tooth and recap the surrounding teeth with a bridge. That will be about 21000 baht! Still expensive.

I asked about pulling the tooth and just leaving it empty but it was clear from the X-ray that the tooth alongside will fall over into the gap and be a bigger problem in the future. So, the bridge option it will have to be.

I have to wait a month after extraction and I’ll push it to two months as it will give me time to get paid again.

Now is the time to curse my junior self for poor teeth maintenance but well, my teeth have made it further than most of my mum’s so I’ll take it as a win.

Something I learned today?

“It takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds to refocus on a task after a distraction.”

I berate my students for lack of focus but if this statement is true I can berate myself a lot of the time too!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I encouraged Ten, who is a poor student that acts up to compensate. When he was able to read something slowly without giving up and getting frustrated I congratulated him, as did his classmate. Slowly, slowly I will chip away at his barriers and behaviours and pull him into the class as an active participant.

I complimented the dentist on her English this morning. She was worried that she didn’t know how to explain things but actually she did it very well. I’m still trying to improve my Thai but trying to listen to people talking in the dentist waiting room I can feel it is going to take a lot more time. Well, let’s hope I have a lot more time.

What am I grateful for in this moment?

I’m sitting in the dentist waiting room and grateful for the renovations they have done as everything looks new shiny and sparkling and at least gives the impression of professionalism. Hopefully I am still grateful in an hours time when they might have fixed my broken tooth or at least tide me over until next month with a temporary solution.

No picture today so let’s go back to an old favourite that I like to confuse my students with.

A Happy Fat Cat – 20th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This project is almost over
Say your farewells and let me go
I’m tired of these waking hours
It’s time I slept
Don’t shed tears, it’s not failure
But a circuit complete
I dream one day to be an eagle
Or a happy fat cat
But now we must let it be

You’re welcome to say a prayer
But save it for yourself
Whisper it to your own ear
And listen to that breath

Today I’m feeling:

Well enough to exercise again but I’m coughing up lots of phlegm and although my throat isn’t too sore from coughing its giving me a headache.

I’m pretty tired after my first class and could easily sleep. At least I finish at 2.30 and can get home and relax for a while.

Today I’m grateful for:

My grade 8 class students slowly maturing, advancing their skills and understanding what I require of them. I’m starting to like them again, despite loving and loathing them!

The best thing about today was:

Finishing writing up two books to blog posts. Now there’s a bit of space in my bag again though there’s plenty more books to go yet.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My broken tooth is starting to get sensitive and its fricking painful to drink anything cold. My other dodgy teeth seem to also be coming out in sympathy pain too.

I go to the dentist in a couple of days but I don’t think that they will fix it there and then (unless they have a go at pulling it out, which maybe the best option in the end)

Something I learned today?

There’s a lot of volcanic activity in the world at the moment so it seems though perhaps it is just that I’m seeing more of that type of information presented to me. In the same manner it seems to be flooding everywhere that is usually a desert.

Our perceptions are so easily manipulated.

Hey, all is quiet down our street.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I tried to get over my dislike of one of my students by involving him in the class a little more and trying to be firm and consistent when he acts up.

In another class I supported a couple of the struggling readers with some one-on-one time and also tried to broker peace in a quarrel that they were having. 

Amy ordered a new shoe rack which I duly put together with little complaint even though there were other things I wanted to do.

I believe there were no vile deeds today (as per most days now).

What are some of the sources of stress in my life right now?

Not having a visa currently us a little stressful, though in the process of getting sorted out. 

The possibility of not getting paid next month is also stressful especially as I have a few things that require some extra cash, such as getting my teeth fixed again.

Beyond that things are pretty cruisy.

Me and Tulip being stupid last week.Screenshot

Working From Cafe – 10th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Plug it in and power up
Working here with coffee cup
–Day and night slaving here
Waiting for beer o’clock

Wifi Password 9999
We got the power but not the time
–Living in a deadline fear
That must remain forever online

Twenty four seven three six five
Blown through another portable drive
–PDFs sent peer to peer
Waking up dead just to stay alive

Words were writ, emails sent
Both for and against the government
–What the fuck are you doing here?
With all the wasted time you spent

Earned a dollar, put in bank
Spent on all the coffees drank
–Your boss is making profit clear
Whilst you are just a mindless blank

15th Mar 2024 – Submitted to WDYS 229
14th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – cafeteria

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the dentist suggesting me to use a special brush to clean between my teeth. They are starting to feel better now.

Singy – 7th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Rob’s singing about his cat again
And I’m trying to sing-a-long
I can’t quite hit the harmony
And I get the lyrics wrong

But the joy is in our hearts
As we’re belting out this song
There’s no difference between us
We are all where we belong

Inspired by listening to Thingy and the genius songwriting of Rob Crow and his songs about his cat Molly.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that the dentist called to remind me to go today and bring my mouth shield because I forgot it last time.

It’s been pretty hot during the days recently and despite flooding in other parts of the country, it hasn’t rained here for a week or more now. The temperature in the evening is perfect though, and when the skies are clear, Venus and Jupiter (maybe) are super bright up above.

When I got home on Tuesday, Amy wanted to go for a swim and despite the sun being behind the mountains, when we got to the resort pool, just 3 minutes ride from us, it was a very pleasant hour or so, which a few other families were also enjoying. Relaxing here, overlooking beautiful jungle mountains and rice fields, a clear pool, food and drink, we both once again blessed ourselves for how lucky we are.

It’s dentist time again today. Let’s see how much these damn things will cost me this time! I’m happy to still have most of my teeth. I can still see my dentist’s face from when I was a teenager, always telling me to brush more and stop eating candy. He was trying his best but my rebellious streak thought I could survive forever.

Well, here I am, mouth full, sometimes hurting and most times painful on the wallet. I can remember a time when mum got her first clip-in teeth and I must be older than that now. So, I can consider I’m doing well enough, right?

The last few times I stayed with her, I was always amused in the mornings when she would wake up and ask me to hold on while she put in her teeth. A few more were required by that time. She’d also have put in her hearing aids and put on her glasses. Is that my destiny too? So long as I can put it all off a little longer, that’s ok.

I can’t imagine not losing my hearing, considering all the loud shows I’ve been at, surely exposed more than my mum had in her lifetime. Her parents both went deaf but I don’t know about anything on dad’s side. Hopefully, I inherited something good there.

I’m just a lonely egg, peel me down, I’m not afraid – 25th January 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Sore gums – why? Dentist again.

Week off morning routine – get back into it. Heavy breathing – work, tired body. Looking good – but not where I want to be yet. Turn fat into muscle. Little by little – as I taught the kids.

Sleep easy – alarm surprised. What dreams – I don’t know.

Today today today – easy day, so fill it. Get ready for Ellen’s students again. Have no desire to do it – so I will do it – push through. But do it well. I know the hardest step is just starting again – and I’m not afraid.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my full free day yesterday. I enjoyed it so much. Running around the garden with Baimon, listening to Alice Donut whilst looking through old photos, writing in my journal, reading comics and playing Xbox. Lazy and fun day which has made me feel very happy.

I pulled myself out of bed and forced myself back into my morning routine, including 10 burpees, which I was contemplating skipping. I also had time to write morning pages though they still couldn’t quiet my brain during meditation. Maybe tomorrow I will switch back to sitting up to meditate.

The result of this effort was a day of weird happiness and joy that I couldn’t help feeling. So, the best thing that happened?

On several occasions when I was communicating with students I felt a better understanding despite difficulties in verbal communication – a more common bond – it made me feel good.

I did a sketch of House and will try to do some more. I read some Dostoevsky which was very meaningful and marked certain parts – something I’ve always forgotten to do before! I’ve bounced back from my cold – and now Amy has it instead.

I also did a quick video call with a new student that I will start teaching online tomorrow.