Said And Done – 9th November 2023

I’ve no comment on what I remember
The past is done and gone
I don’t understand where I am now
It’s not where I belong

And everything that was said
Never made a difference anyway
But at least I felt better
That I had something to say

A thousand slogans were chanted
Marching fists into the air rose
When everything was said and done
Still here the jungle grows


Today I’m feeling:

Happy after a positive day yesterday. With no classes again this morning I could just enjoy the first couple of hours of the Open House entertainment and all the stalls and I actually thought it was good and well done. I realise that I have changed my thoughts and feelings about some things and can see them in a more positive light.

Today I’m grateful for:

My old favourite student Cake, who is now in grade 9 and studying science to become a doctor in the future. She was a favoured student because she always had a positive attitude. She was already reading heavy science books when she was in grade 6.

Today she was managing a booth for her science program and I asked her to tell me all about it. At first, she was worried because she said her English was not as good as it used to be but after a brief consideration she said ‘Ok, let me try!’ and she did, very well.

The booth has the same things every year and I recognised it all from before but I let her do the spiel,  including about different teas and their properties after I asked which was good for a headache. She told me and gave me a free teabag to try, which I will sometime when I remember to bring it in from the car.

The best thing about today was:

Only having to be around for a couple of hours this morning and not teaching. Again the kids were all in a great mood and there was a good vibe among everyone. I was tempted to stay longer because I was having such a good time but Amy and I went off to buy a fridge and a fan and we now have a drinks fridge and bar area in the dining room.

Amy is happily making the house into the way she wants to make her feel comfortable. Things are good now but how will they be when the burning starts again and things start to annoy and upset her more. I’m still hopeful she can fill her time with things to take her mind off it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Not a big surprise but I’d been waiting to be paid by TLC and sent a message to my boss who replied that she forgot to tell me that the school deducted my payment as I missed some days last month for my travel. I doubt that very much but like I said it’s not a big surprise really.

Something I learned today?

Today was Kru Jern’s 33rd birthday and after finding out I quickly ran to the cafe to buy a piece of cake for her.

Write about a song that always comforts and understands you.

Most of the songs stuck in my memory were not through comfort and understanding but through depression and perceived adversity. I distinctly remember playing the shit out of the Descendents ‘All’ album and The Dicks ‘These People’ album when trying to deal with the trauma of my first dumping. In a weird way they were my comfort.

There’s many songs that give me goosebumps and maybe Volcano Suns Room With A View understands me. ‘All I want is a second or two to collect my thoughts about you…I sit for hours on end, for hours on end…’

Kru Jern took this picture because Kru Ren and I are both playing dress up here. He is a video game character that I’ve never heard of and I am dressed up as a teacher.

Know-all – 12th June 2022

All I mean to say
There’s a bridge to Coolidge
No, all I really say to mean…
A man in a van can seem
Of age already, cameage
So many impressions
Of the ice man
And what do these clean sheets mean?
In need of a pep talk
As the all-o-gistics are denying caffeine
Living a schizophrenia dream
Sometimes Uranus is a bonus cup
But there’s no need to be jealous of the world

If you know, you know.


It is not what happens that determines the quality of our lives, it is what we choose to do when we discover that the wind has changed directions.

Jim Rohn

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can use Facebook to stay in contact with my old students and I can watch them grow and develop into adults over the years. It’s a very amazing feeling to be a part of their journey, even if it is only a small part.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #68 – Teeth Razor Sharp – 10th December 2020

The demons are attacking our integrity, the bogeyman is coming, teeth razor sharp.

This week there’s music from The Fall, Viletones, The Butthole Surfers, Frank Zappa, Psyche, Super Adventure Club, My Dad Is Dead, Dwarves, Toots and The Maytals, Moff Skellington, Red Forty, Descendents, Sun City Girls and Lucid Rivers.

Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.
Listen right here or Podbean, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.

https://www.facebook.com/The-Chiang-Rai-Alternative-Hour-107307097314670

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have another two days off school and be able to spend time at home and with Amy.

Got up on the wrong side of life this morning – 10th November 2020

Empty nonsense in here. Bitch Magnet – John Fine – Your Band Sucks. Reminds me of me. Just wanted to rock.

What is life outside? Happiness – I’m content but Amy is so unhappy. Resolution must be found. It’s easy here for me, my style makes it easy. But I can live anywhere – I just don’t want to make my life harder. I don’t see the point. But we will start thinking about how and when to move back to Australia. I can live anywhere so long as I have my things around me. I have lots I want to do and can be done from anywhere.

Poor Amy I don’t like to see her so sad.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all my years of life. I’m reading Jon Fine’s book at the moment and it takes me right back to the desperate feelings I had in my early twenties. Those feelings got us both to where we are today, for better or worse. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to be able to look back and reflect on this.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #27 – 1st March 2020

Music from The Cavedwellers, Circus Brekovic, Deerhoof, Descendents, Gregory Isaacs, The Milkshakes, Queen, Didjits, Octafish, Elvis Costello, Emporer Yes, Althea and Donna, The Soul Owners, White Blacula and This Heat.

Weight: 79.0kg
Resting heart rate: 48

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for being able to sit on this plane. To be able to afford to visit my friends. And for having a home to return to.

To-do list

  • Meditate on the plane – reflect on these days ✅
  • Please try to stay calm when back ✅
  • Wear mask all day ✅
  • Finish reading book ✅
  • Take some photos

It’s Tuesday as I write. Getting back was equally emotional and equally flat. I felt numb. Amy is angry at the inconvenience that my trip has now caused us. She’s not so much upset with me as upset with the situation.

I drank a couple of whiskies and fell into a deep 12-hour-long sleep. I got up for lunch and fell back asleep again for the afternoon, got up for dinner and then went back to sleep around 9 pm.

Now it’s Tuesday morning and everything still feels flat. The situation with the virus is looking increasingly likely to postpone the WDS tour which meaning losing all the money on our flights in South East Asia. That’s the situation now and what we have to deal with.

Amy and I are stuck at home for another 12 days. I don’t anticipate any illness from the virus so we just have to wait and carry on as best we can.

I want to be stereotyped, I want to be classified – 28th December 1994

Today reminds us to count our blessings, it being one year since Steve passed away and it sure don’t seem like all those 365 days have gone by without seeing or talking to him. Each day has been recorded here for my benefit, each day busy with preparations and plans, so much done and said, it doesn’t seem possible that he hasn’t been here with us (all of us who knew and loved him). His life and actions still strong in our minds and hearts, an inspiration to us all, forever.

And typically, me and my beloved sweetheart are so damn busy today we don’t get much time to dwell about the past, today we’re running around buying ourselves a car and organising financial support from the bank in order to do it. a severe strain on our monies – in fact we are nearly broke at the end of the day, but shit, money isn’t everything and we know we’ll manage and as if we are being looked after by some other force, our next door neighbour offers us the lend of two chairs so now we have somewhere to sit in our lounge and then C_ and P_ lend us table and chairs so we have somwhere to dine and our house is turning into a home – with a car in the drive!