Obsolete – 2nd May 2023

Made to be broken, a businessman’s dream
Failure point unspoken, a money-making scheme
Shiny new things, a feeling that is funny
A bottom line sings when rolling in the money


Today I’m feeling:

Reasonable. I’d like to go for a bike ride but it’s so hot with high UV plus the air is still a little hazy so views from up the mountains aren’t so clear. I feel like these April holidays are kinda useless.

Today I’m grateful for:

The step ladder that I use around the garden. Today, to cut back the vine and fold back part of the roof that got messed up in the last storm. It seemed urgent as the skies darkened and distant rumbling approached but then just as quick the clouds disappeared and bright a scorching sun came out. Looks like I’ll have to water again this afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

The neighbour’s kids all came into the driveway to ride their bikes whilst I was watering the garden and they all laughed and played when I sprayed them with water. They’re all between 6 and 9 years old. Full of life and energy, full of hope.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Came back for morning coffee to find that Cap had thrown up on my old 1984 diary and songbook. Perhaps not too much damage, though a lot of the diary was written in tiny felt tip which is already hard enough to read so there may be even more illegible writing there to strain my eyes. What can I do? It’s one of the reasons I’m working to get all this digitised as quickly as I can.

Something I learned today?

The 2nd biggest bank in the US has gone under. I don’t really know what this means, like what happens next or why it happened in the first place but it seems to be occurring often right now.

What has keeping a journal taught me?

As a daily habit, it has helped me get thoughts out of my head, whether good or bad and into paper. When I review these over time they give me an idea of my long-term growth.

I took this picture because I think it reflects my disorganised appreciation and annoyance with living in Thailand. It’s messy and uncoordinated yet looks appealing and attractive. This little stream runs at the back of the shops and market on the university side of the highway. The other side to home.

They will crawl up in your skin and they will come out from the walls, if you let them – 13th February 2020

What do you believe that others do not?

– A daily writing prompt from stoameditation.com

I believe in fairness, justice, learning, compassion etc…  but so do many other people….

Perhaps there are things that other people believe that I do not, such as gods, more money will make you more happy etc…  Many people believe those things too though.

I feel like this is a trick question and should force you to contemplate all the things you do believe.  When you examine them all maybe there will be something there that no one else believes?

Is there anything that one person might believe that no one else believes though?  Even something obscure is likely to be believed by another person somewhere in the world. As you voice it for the very first time, someone else might agree!

What about this? Is there something you used to believe that you no longer do? When you stop believing something you sometimes block it out and disown it as if you never really believed it. Did I used to believe in ghosts? Some strange things happened that I couldn’t explain then but can explain now. Is that just learning and growing away from ignorance? Is it possible to grow so far away from ignorance, to be able to explain everything, to no longer have any beliefs? Is that some sort of nirvana the Buddhists idealise?

If you believe we live in a simulation then do you really know that one foot goes in front of another when you are walking or do you just believe it is so?

This stupid question has raised more than I’ve been able to answer. Ok, good. Keep the old brain ticking.

I’m off to start on my list of things I believe.

Who called?
What the hell did they say?
Get off the telephone right now
Don’t throw another minute away

Karate – There Are Ghosts

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I don’t have to teach at school for the next two days. Even though it was a late notification and bad planning it’s good for me anyways.

To-do list

  • Finish Kieran’s letter today! ✅
  • Study TOEFL templates ½
  • Connect with someone ✅
  • Random act of kindness ✅
  • Clear videos and emails ✅

I really enjoyed being able to sit in the quiet classroom and finish off Kieran’s letter as well as read a few other things and make some random notes. I skipped out in the afternoon so we could do some much-needed shopping. I don’t know if anyone will say anything tomorrow about not being there the whole day but it does feel a bit unreasonable to expect us to stay the whole day when there is nothing much to do.

It’s the constant annoying frustration of disorganisation and I am learning more to go with the flow.

Spent another enjoyable hour talking with Bruce and thinking of strategies to help him improve. I’m afraid it may be a long journey for him and I don’t want him to think that I’m just milking him for money so I will do my best to facilitate with what he needs to pass his exam.

I was calm and collected for the whole day and employed some of the techniques from the Smiling Mind meditations – becoming conscious of breathing and practising focus on people communicating – not just words but facial and body language, interactions within groups etc. When in those group communications I could have paused longer and forfeited my stories to enjoy theirs more. If I have that opportunity again tomorrow I will practice this.

Tomorrow I will spend all day reading, writing, learning and thinking.