Super tired as I definitely didn’t catch up on any missed sleep from Sunday night. Never mind. I’ll have to try tonight.
I was looking forward to sitting down with some coffee and free time when my grade 9 students called me and asked to move their class from the afternoon to this morning again.
As this kinda suits me too, leaving the afternoon free, I rushed back and we went in search of a free room, ending up in the library.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong Kratae for helping out Anchan as much as she can. It may not be much and it may not be enough for Anchan but Kratae is offering some hope at least. I will have to think of something that I can do for her as thanks one day. And I will ask Anchan for suggestions and if she can contribute in some way too.
The best thing about today was:
I felt my health improve a little over the day, especially mentally. Somehow, being at school is picking me up mentally, whilst seemingly running me down physically.
I was particularly energised after my grade 8 class finished at 12.30 but I didn’t leave school for another 45 minutes as various groups of students came to distract me, wanting to chat.
Something I learned today?
After much hassling from my students, I installed Instagram and TikTok and have been trying to work out how they work and if they are even remotely useful for me.
I still don’t quite get them or how they work. At the end of the day, I just want to use this software to stay in contact with my students in the future.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
As I was contemplating being able to finish early and go home, Anchan messaged me asking to go with her to Nong Kratae’s for the first time today this afternoon.
I guess as I wasn’t due to finish until 4.30 pm anyway, then it’s not a big deal and I’m hanging around at House catching up on reading and writing. Trying to get my brain back into poem-writing mode after a few days away from writing.
Tonkhaw took this picture because….he was happy to see his teacher hard at work, perhaps?
Wound tight, played precise A night fight, all that jazz Voodoo spell, doll will dance Deadside hell and razzmatazz Pagan sages, a ragtime roll Inner rages in shadow hours Pinprick pain, man divided Ridden insane by fiendish powers
Bennu is a Heron 2023全新EP -「despite the world is so big, but not a corner belongs to me」現已上線。 四曲自我記錄忠實呈現，獻給2019 – 2022的我們，祝好。
Home, Sweet Home 「未曾問你來自哪裡。」 關於家，關於身份，關於歸屬，關於靈魂的容納之處。
Injurer 「你還像從前那般？」 關於憤怒，關於立場，關於公義，關於變成曾經憎恨的人。
My Dream 「昨晚睡得好嗎？」 關於愛，關於記憶，關於留戀，關於每一個不眠之夜。
Fairy Tale 「你啟程後，不會再回來了吧。」 關於海，關於浪漫，關於自我，關於不設限的未知旅程。
實體將於10月發售
Vinyl release is a DIY worldwide co-operative with: Desperate Infant Records Qiii Snacks Records Sango Records ungulates 22 Records Calm Lake Records tenzenmen Gizzmoix Records
Originally digitally released by Sango Records @sangorecords and Desperate Infant Records @desperate.infant.records Recording by 伟松&拓坤@RC Studio, Nam@Zhuying Studio and Sam@Home Mixing / Mastering by Brian@Sound Blade Studio Artwork by Jumpgate, Saki, Yellow and Jinbo
Bennu is a Heron (Guangzhou, China) 贝努是只苍鹭，来自广州的 Skramz / Emoviolence 乐团，由多支 Hardcore 乐团的乐手组成。 以所见、所闻、所想为出发点，直白陈述内心情绪。 Vocal – Jinbo Guitars – Sam & Joe Bass – Gao Drums – Chal
Today I’m feeling:
Still a little dusty and vague. Predictably, last night I didn’t sleep well as indigestion bothered my stomach and the oysters bothered my guts.
A really vivid poop dream got me out of bed as the oysters decided to make their early exit and it was a struggle to get a good deep sleep after that.
Today I’m grateful for:
Starting to feel normal again this evening. Even early this afternoon I could still taste Friday night’s whiskey in my mouth. This evening I seem to have my energy and motivation back after pushing through with a few things this afternoon.
The best thing about today was:
Sorting things out this afternoon for the Bennu 12” release and the upcoming MPC CD, downloading some comics, listening to some tunes and playing a bit of guitar. I have to try and force myself into my room this week to play some more. No book reading again this weekend sadly. I really want to read more but seem more invested in YouTubing. I’m going to turn off the video I’m about to watch and read instead.
Something I learned today?
Watching the Swans mini-match I found out that we lost by one point in a poor game. Hopefully, it keeps us from being complacent.
It’s time to leave, time to live The tough have already got going The soft remain inactive But deep down already knowing
It’s time to go, time to be gone Let the waste remain in this place Time is forever marching on And taking up so much space
The magnetic pull unwavering Stick the cynics in the bin Tomorrow is not worth savouring If the journey doesn’t begin
Once again, inspired by this post at Spinning Visions. I am usually inspired by things I see, hear and read (more than conjuring things from the depths of my brain – at least, these days) and I’m catching up on reading Makenna’s journey via her blog.
The Blackened Screamo powercell from İstanbul, Jornada Del Muerto (featuring members of The Ousted, Burn Her Letters, ria, pembe, Noisy Sins Of The Insect, Slave Training) unveils their brand new full length “Pinturas Negras” via 11 DIY labels (see below) Mixed and Mastered by Pete Grossman at Bricktop Recording who has an excellent discography, such as Inclination, Frail Body, Uglybones, LUCA, Crowning…
Having released a cathartic and well-written debut album in 2021, the blackened screamo act Jornada Del Muerto dedicates Pinturas Negras to Goya’s “Black Paintings” in lyrical and musical ways. 14 songs for 14 paintings.
The band took it to the next level with their new release: while the band is maintaining the short-songs-with-violent-outbursts kind of approach with their songs, it is very clear that Jornada Del Muerto has given a lot of thought to the instrumentation of their new songs as the riffing and the song structures are very on point. The band makes it known to their listeners that very diverse influences are musing their sound, and Jornada Del Muerto transforms these muses into gut-punching screamo anthems with sheer explosions.
Jornada Del Muerto is Alican, Görkem, Mutlu, Onur
Recorded at PUR Music Studios Mix and Mastering by Pete Grossman at Bricktop Additional Cello by Öykü Opuz Artwork by Nazan Aydın
Sabbath Video credits Directed by Doğuş Asan & Mutlu Oral Animated by Doğuş Asan Character Design by Eda Dursun Written by Mutlu Oral & Görkem Arslan Edited by Mutlu Oral
Judith and Holofernes Video credits Video by Görkem Arslan & İdil Kocabozdoğan
Co-operative release featuring the following labels: Mevzu Records No Heroes Records Dead Red Queen Records Fresh Outbreak Records Friendly Otter 5 Feet Under Records Dingleberry Records Pumpkin Records Salto Mortale Seitan’s Hell Bike Punks tenzenmen No Funeral Records
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and content. I’m so happy that Amy is back and made our house back into a home again. Everything is clean and tidy! It’s not that I’m terribly messy and dirty but my standard and its importance is lower.
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Jern for fixing up some things in the class attendance system for me. It’s important to have a good connection with some co-teachers because sometimes there are things that need to be done that I can’t do by myself.
The best thing about today was:
Unprompted, Kru David commented positively on my new Monotone trousers today. It’s nice to hear that though I never would expect that about my trousers as they are relatively plain when compared to some of the shirts I wear!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I have a smart kid in one class (Kwang) who suffers from a lack of direction and absent parents. She’s smart enough to avoid working hard and avoid getting in too much trouble.
This week she explained that her phone touchscreen is broken and that she can’t do my work whilst in class but promised that she would do it at home in the evening, which she then didn’t do.
As I have two old spare phones I figured I would donate one to her so she could do my work in class. I struggled to remember to find it this morning but in the end, I picked it up and found the charging cable too.
I waited for the homeroom teacher to appear in the morning and told her of my idea which she thought was a good solution. However, Kwang’s grandparents sent a message that morning that she wouldn’t be in school today!
I left the phone with the homeroom teacher as Kwang will likely show more respect for receiving it from her than from me.
Something I learned today?
Of course, surely, I learned many things today but they all seem relatively minor and inconsequential as I try to summon them here to write.
Name five ways you are quite difficult to deal with?
I still have a childish reaction to being told what to do and how to do things sometimes, even when offered in good faith and it being a better solution than what I’m trying.
I enjoy things that most people don’t and I detest many things that others seem to enjoy. I’ve softened somewhat over the years and can bear small amounts of detestability. In general, this revolves around entertainment such as music and movies mostly.
I’m happy to be by myself and don’t need much interaction to be satisfied. It’s not that I don’t like people, I really do. It’s more that I don’t find a large percentage particularly interesting and I often don’t feel like investing the time to go deep with them. Others though, will appear that immediately interest me. I can wait for them to show up.
I still sometimes struggle with changing tack after I’ve invested time and effort into the direction I’ve been going. Working in Thailand has definitely made me improve myself with this as changes can manifest with little warning.
In the past, I was quite contrarian, in connection with point 1 here. However, I would say that I am not at all outwardly like that these days, though the thoughts are still entertained internally!
I took this picture because this is an accurate reflection of my place in this world. At the walls of my palace sit the beasts and the jungle.
Tired from a long reasonable sleep. My body is aching from all the exercise this week so I’ll happily give it a little break. No plans in particular for today though I might watch the AFL replays as they should be good games. I’ll get some reading in today as I skipped it a lot this week, running out of time and energy. I need to pick up the guitar too. Suddenly I’m filling a relaxing day but at least there’s no real stress right now.
Today I’m grateful for:
A dreamy afternoon nap, spacing in and out of the jazz core podcast. Is that weird? I remember one time as a teenager Jez came around and he couldn’t believe I was sleeping and listening to Crass’s Yes Sir, I Will album cranked up and to be fair I wasn’t in a deep sleep but spacing in and out. I guess I’m well-practiced.
The best thing about today was:
Drinking late morning coffees and getting a super buzz off them. I contemplated a third but managed to restrain myself. I wish I could drink endless coffees without getting so jacked up on them.
What is it that makes you a weirdo in your space?
To answer this I might have to figure out what ‘my space’ means. In fact, I might be considered a weirdo in any space these days. But I’m projecting that onto other people. I don’t think of myself as weird at all.
My space as a teacher: not just as a teacher but as a teacher in Thailand. By being a foreigner, that immediately makes me an anomaly. We are treated differently by other teachers and students alike.
My style of interaction with the teachers is relatively normal but I am one of only two teachers I ever see engaging with kids outside of class. This could also contribute to how the students treat me differently too.
They don’t show the same respect but they are more interactive at least. I don’t see myself as being on some kind of untouchable pedestal that this status could afford. I’d rather connect on a more friendly level. That means also having to deal with all their emotional ups and downs and behavioural issues as they are navigating their teenage growth.
What the Thai teachers think about my style of interaction with the students I have no idea or particular interest. I’m doing the best I can with the little skills I have and if it improves my student’s lives in any way then I consider what I’m doing to be positive.
My space as a music supporter: as demonstrated with tenzenmen I have a broad range of musical interests and whilst this makes for an unsuccessful business model I don’t wish to be defined within a limited genre because that’s just boring to me. Some people get it.
As a person that was in the middle of a ‘scene’ in Sydney, I was also, somewhat purposefully, separate from the other people involved. In many ways, I just didn’t want to deal with all the personal bullshit going on in their lives or share any of mine. Our interactions were intentionally just involving music and getting that out there. I felt that about 80% of the people were my friends whom I could trust if I ever needed but always managed to keep myself in a situation where that need would never arise. This didn’t make me close friends in their eyes but it did for me.
My space as Amy’s partner: Amy may consider me a weirdo in many ways but she understands my aesthetic and ideals whether she understands my interests or not.
For other people outside our relationship, I don’t really know what they might think about me as an individual but they are often confused about our relationship. For Amy and I, it is not confusing at all.
Many of her friends do not understand how we can trust each other and maintain our relationship when we are not together but that is hardly a statement on us and says more about them.
My space as a father to Hayden: I guess I’m not particularly weird in this space. I have never been much of a hands-on controlling kind of father and therefore have not been particularly stressed about his growing pains and even when it has been frustrating to watch him make mistakes I have always trusted that he will find his way in the end and slowly he seems to be doing that. I may be wrong but I feel many fathers deal with their sons in the same way.
There are other spaces I fill too but these feel like the main.
What would make today great?
Well, the day is almost done and it was a standard good day without anything particularly great occurring. It was great that the rain that threatened all day managed to hold off until I had brought the washing in. Small wins.
Noey took this picture because I got up late and Utopia were wondering where I was. That’s nice to be appreciated as a customer or even as a friend.Fatman report
Security kills me Anxiety keeps me alive The paranoid and prudent Get to survive
I don’t want to be happy I don’t want to want I don’t deserve it There must be more More than survival
A life without pain Would often be short Our wealth is unhealthy But we’re mostly bought
Found in abundance At a temporary table Making me so fat And mentally unstable
I don’t want to feel good I don’t want to want But I want to be good My biology Keeps eating my cake
Denton, Texas befuddlers Flesh Narc pile together the nicest grapes they could find, herein compiled from the first song they wrote in 2013 to the band’s first tour in summer 2017. Witness the genre whiplash that Flesh Narc is capable of from their beginnings as a slacker post-punk power trio to their descent into electronic abstraction and back to a retightened, haywire rock band. A comprehensive review of Flesh Narc’s early years, off-the-wall lyrical content and confused music guaranteed.
tracks 1-4 recorded October-November 2014 by Michael Briggs tracks 5-7 recorded October, December 2015 by Michael Briggs tracks 8-10 recorded June-July 2016 by Michael Briggs tracks 11-13 recorded October, December 2015-February 2016 by Sinevil track 14 recorded live February 10th 2017 at Cleemus & Ploumplesti’s, Denton tracks 15-18 recorded May-June 2017 by Justin Lemons track 19 recorded live August 4th 2017 at Archer Ballroom, Chicago by Steve Gassen
1-4: Optical Intrusion (January 2015) 5,6: Slow Deep and Narc (March 2016) 7: Narc That! (June 2016) 8,9: TS/FN ❤ (split with Thin Skin) (November 2016) 10: Dinner’s Served (Thanksgiving 2016) 11-13: Eyes on the Fabric (Narc Infinitives) (February 2017) 14: Hailey’s Fan Club (July 2017) 15-18: Frisky/Gardens (July 2017) 19: Split with Slackbeat (March 2018)
Flesh Narc is Matt Burgess, Rick Eye and Reece McLean.
In early 2013, Rick joined Reece’s project Bukkake Moms and they formed the freewheeling collective Problem Dogg. In the midst of that chaos, Matt’s long-time band Eat Avery’s Bones began playing shows more regularly, and it wasn’t long before Matt became involved in the Problem Dogg consortium. Matt, Reece and Rick practiced for the first time together in November 2013 and wrote their first song, “Jack Off Cubes”. 8 more songs were written but they got distracted by mineral trading drama and decided to stop practicing for 5 months. Upon remembering they were a band, they quickly recorded their 9 unrehearsed songs and made up about 9 more on the spot, some of which were better. Their first album “Optical Intrusion” and companion EP “Narc It!” were released in early 2015 and the first live shows followed. Human microphone stands were utilized and instrument switches were abundant and time-consuming.
Improvised electronics slowly crept in, eventually usurping the live set for a brief part of 2016. A 2nd album “Slow Deep and Narc” with companion EP “Narc That!” followed and not long after a split cassette with Thin Skin.
The band’s slacker rock sound was running its course, and the radical left-turn electronic album “Eyes on the Fabric (Narc Infinitives)” was still held up in post-production. Thankfully, refreshment was found through the joining of Beth Dodds from Bukkake Moms on drums and occasional guitar/bass/keyboards in January 2017. The band gained a new intensity and confusion factor. “Eyes on the Fabric (Narc Infinitives)” finally released in February 2017, featuring stark electronics and free-associating vocals lost in the dark. The new 4-piece Flesh Narc prepared for a summer tour with Thin Skin and produced “Frisky/Gardens”, originally a demo, but later canonized by default. “Hailey’s Fan Club”, a live album of electronic material that verges on comedy, also made its way to tape in time for the tour.
Flesh Narc’s performance in Chicago at Archer Ballroom (later released as a split with Slackbeat in 2018) showed the band in a demented form on the home stretch of tour. In the Loop Magazine reviewed the show calling Flesh Narc, “noise going nowhere” and urged readers to “leave immediately” upon encountering the band (beintheloopchicago.com?p=20995).
In the immediate wake of the tour, the 4-piece line-up of Flesh Narc dissolved. The band’s next album, intended to be called “Grapes” (consisting of rerecorded “Frisky/Gardens” songs and new material), was scrapped before recording. The band reverted back into a trio again and replaced drums with manually-tapped drum machine and tapes.
And what happens after that is for another compilation another time.
From 2017 to the present day, things in the land of Flesh Narc have grown very complex, with numerous releases of varying styles with new collaborators. As a quick primer, and to fulfil the unrealized dream of the “Grapes” album, this compilation of Flesh Narc’s early years should suffice.
Today I’m feeling:
Slooow to go! I had a weed gummy last night which I thought didn’t really have much effect beyond focusing concentration on playing guitar. And trying to fix the Canna butter bottle that broke, I had a drop or less of that which seemed to get me thinking sideways for the rest of the evening that rapidly disappeared. I had deeply thought-provoking dreams that felt quite negative in that they reminded me of my age and my place in the world. I woke up a little shook. I feel pretty damn relaxed now though. The heat and rain have gone for a while and it’s nice enough to sit outside again with a soft breeze stirring. I’ve been out here for an hour already.
Today I’m grateful for:
Bruno picking me up at the Nissan dealer in the afternoon. We went up to Ahka Cottage for coffee whilst the car was being ‘serviced’. I put that in quotes as it’s sometimes a little difficult to know if they really check over everything or just change the oil and filter and things you ask them. Presumably, they’re doing a good job.
I’m also grateful to Gong at Utopia who called ahead to Daytripper about a pipette for me for my CBD oil.
What was the best thing today?
Seeing Amy happy back in her room in Sydney, already thinking about how to enjoy her last eight weeks there. She was happy to return to more comfortable temperatures although it has been a little cooler here too today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It was odd to be in the passenger seat of a car for a change. Weird not to have a car key in my pocket.
Something I learned today?
Watching Brian Dunning’s inFact explained why there are suddenly lots of military UFO sightings in the last six months. It all seemed to be down to a core group of connected people who have pushing their theories for the last 15 years. They’re not presenting anything new but they are all presenting it at the same time, presumably to inspire funding from the government. Which country? You can guess, it’s your friend and mine, the USA! It’s rare to hear about UFO sightings anywhere else.
What is my favourite time of day?
Although I struggle to do it without external motivation I’ve come to enjoy the mornings, especially living here in Chiang Rai. Age and location also have an influence, as well as circumstances of obligations.
I pretty much like any time of day. I’m alive and the passing of time is increasing. It’s not impossible to enjoy every breath but the last one should be spent in contentment.
I took this picture because I sat outside in the cooler air with this smelly boy rolling around at my feet and His Royal Highness Cappuccino in the apparent safety of the dining room behind the screen door.
Dieter, where did you come from? And where are you going on that train? A coat and cigarette keep warm There’s a look on your face I can’t explain
Your eyes reflect the blur outside You look lost in what’s gone past Speeding headlong backwards, onwards Out into the cold world so vast
Moving at speed whilst quietly sitting still The dust of the morning on your mind Stepping onto the platform, time stood still As you contemplated what you’d find
When you look out, you’re looking for me I don’t mean for me to be seen I mean you’re seeing the things I see Reflected in all the places that I’ve been
I recognise your heart and passion I see you collecting everyone’s thoughts The future is heading right toward us As we must navigate these ports
inspired by the attached photo, written about at Spinning Visions blog 15th Mar 2024 – Submitted to dVerse ONL 19th Jun 2024 – Submitted to dVerse – traveling by train
Today I’m feeling:
Struggled to get up after a difficult sleep. It was still over 30 degrees in my bedroom at midnight so I had to shove the fan next to the open window again and by the time it was getting light, I started to feel cool. Having the weight of the two fish I ate last night sitting in my stomach didn’t help either. Finally, I slowly stretched, cobra, child’s pose, cat and cow and opened my eyes. I felt okay. I talked myself into riding my pushbike to Utopia and eventually (see picture below) am relaxing with caffeine, considering a third cup to cap it all off.
Today I’m grateful for:
Window polish/cleaner. And Amy. Combined they made the kitchen window clean again. Free of lizard shit, cobwebs and other detritus. I can see clearly again as I chug down a glass of water or wash out the cat bowls.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling like things are coming together around our house again as Amy tidies, cleans and rearranges everything to her fancy. When I’m here by myself I’m just living but when Amy is here with me it feels like home again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I guess the morning start going to Utopia with Tangmo following along was a little test as I had to leave again before I could even have coffee and ride back, taking Tangmo home. But I dealt with it with calm acceptance and just enjoyed the ride and tiring ‘mo out.
Something I learned today?
I must’ve learned something today! Oh! I read a couple of interesting interviews in the Punk Planet book.
That whole book has me reevaluating certain things about my role within the punk/DIY scene. I think when you are deep in the middle of something like that you take it very seriously. Sitting a little outside of that scene now puts into clearer context how others might have viewed it at the time.
One of the interviews was about a scene member’s frustrations with the changes he’d seen at the time (mid-90s) and it felt a little trivial in retrospect but I also understand that a lot of time has passed since and more world experience gathered.
Of more interest was the other interview about protests about the gearing up for bombing Iraq in 1998.
The interviewee was from our scene but had somehow found himself on live TV (CNN) addressing the warmongers in the US government. In the interview, he was hopeful about the movement of protest against this but history ended up differently as political manipulations saw to it that Iraq would be crushed and crippled for a long time.
Almost every on-the-ground report I have heard was about how welcoming the average Iraqi was to strangers. The same propaganda that is currently loose on Russia and China must not be allowed to lead to military conflict.
But the warmongers will continue to beat their drums until the tide of opinion is so overwhelming that it cannot be ignored.
We hoped for that in 1998. Hoped for it in 2003. Hoped again and again. As situations in the most powerful Western countries deteriorate maybe we are edging nearer that change. Perhaps the world is waking up.
What are some things that help me feel calm and relaxed?
Meditation seems to help a little though I’m never quite relaxed when actually doing it. Perhaps the accumulation and habit is part of this process. Exercise helps too. I still don’t use my body enough but I’m slowly getting there.
Medication has ironed out my wavering emotions and I’m comfortable with that.
I took this picture because crazy Tangmo ran beside me as I rode my push bike all the way to Utopia. Crazy dog. He was scared when I sat down because he wasn’t sure where he was. He couldn’t come in and if I came in he would’ve scratched at the door so there was nothing to do except ride him back home and come back for coffee on the motorbike as it was hot and sunny by then.
The rain makes the dragonflies dance Across the green rice field sea Stalks quivering under droplets weight Bent to the breeze in a quiet tango Four rainbows beam from the mountain Tin rooves announcing progress Animals seek out shelter Yet the bull remains, unamused
Recorded and mixed at the Slaughterhouse January-February 2022 Mastered masterfully by Carl Saff
♥Juju, Steve, Cruel Nature, Lucie, Audrey, Gyeong-ryeong, Fai, George, birdbath, Ingue, Simon, Shaun, Tenzenmen, Seb, Dan, James, Tong-ann, Yuting, EBSN and my Mum
Today I’m feeling: Happy and relaxed. Today I’m grateful for: The coconut shop that makes delicious iced coconut water drinks. They are delicious but disappear too quickly like good things are supposed to. The best thing about today was: As I was walking to the coconut shop a school van pulled up, the door opened and I heard ‘teacher!’ and it was my student Baipad, who I found out lives next door but one to Black Smooth cafe. I think there are a couple of other students in my village but Baipad is the first I’ve actually seen around and all because I decided to walk instead of going by motorbike.
I took this picture because it was only by chance that I saw these strange star-shaped flowers on this cactus. Pretty and pretty interesting.
All I mean to say There’s a bridge to Coolidge No, all I really say to mean… A man in a van can seem Of age already, cameage So many impressions Of the ice man And what do these clean sheets mean? In need of a pep talk As the all-o-gistics are denying caffeine Living a schizophrenia dream Sometimes Uranus is a bonus cup But there’s no need to be jealous of the world
If you know, you know.
It is not what happens that determines the quality of our lives, it is what we choose to do when we discover that the wind has changed directions.
Jim Rohn
Band members: Lionel Beyet: Bass, Samples Yves Vranckx: Bass, Samples Vincent Desantos: Drums Saxophone on Ghost Whale by Bruno Margreth:
Recorded by Mehdi Ayari at Magasin4, Brussels, 20 & 21 January, 2022 Mixed; by Raphaël Terlinden, April-May 2022 Mastered by Nicolas Beyet , June 2022 All tracks by Ghost:Whale Artwork by Mr Lib
I am so happy and grateful that I can use Facebook to stay in contact with my old students and I can watch them grow and develop into adults over the years. It’s a very amazing feeling to be a part of their journey, even if it is only a small part.
I am so happy and grateful for the cheap rope I bought for Tangmo to play with and that I found it again in the field opposite after he ran away with it last night.
Ploughed through all my recently downloaded music. Some genius works there and lots of perplexing nonsense. I have too much and also not enough. I have half a plan to do another new podcast for a while. We’ll see. I want to get on top of my blog more than anything.
The daylight is weird today. It’s warm but looks like it will rain but it is 100% unlikely to rain. It’s making me feel tired. Or maybe I am tired. I think I just want to go and watch crappy TV for a while. Give my brain a break.
It’s a dirty war where enemies become friends And friends enemies to further their own ends To the victor the spoils, to make up the rules To put out the fires burning on hated fuels
Some will celebrate whilst others may flee An order emerges to which most want to agree Freedom for the ignorant, itself its own cage Repeated ad infinitum on every history page
Better to be oppressed than constantly scared It’s all relative when your life has been spared Safety comes first, freedom a patient wait Rebuilding lives, thankfully able to create
Stop running tired now passed that difficult test Grateful once more, living again, amongst the blessed
Cassette collecting all KLS releases from 2014-2021
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that in my dream last night I tried to protect the people I love – even though I woke up screaming, waking up the people I love!
I was not in the best of moods over the weekend but not terrible. I think I ran out of energy yesterday and just ended up reading and watching TV. Last week, on Monday, I gave George some ground coffee as a gift and to show that I’m OK with him even though he doesn’t interact with me anymore.
Then, on Friday, as I was listening to YouTube and just before writing my entry here, he came into my classroom, which was a bit of a surprise, and I smiled towards him as he approached. He came up to me with the coffee and said, ‘Why did you give me this?’ I said, ‘No reason – just a gift. You drink coffee, don’t you?’ He put it on the table and said, ‘I don’t accept gifts for no reason’, turned around and walked off. I was speechless.
I sat for a while, writing my entry and decided not to mention this and to think about it over the weekend first. This may have also affected my mood a little, but I realise I feel quite resilient to this kind of behaviour! It gets me curious about what makes people act in this way. Suspicion? Pride? Culture? Anyway, I will ignore this stupidity,
I talked a little with Amy and Bruno about it. Amy blames me for even trying to interact with him. Bruno agreed that it was strange behaviour but not so uncharacteristic from what he know of George. We all agreed that we all feel sorry for Bee, who knows what he is like and puts up with it, whatever her reasons.
Anyway, I gave the coffee to Champ this morning, who was really appreciative of it!
1994ever 