A wasted day waiting for perfection.
Perfect End – 1st July 2025
Tag: do it
Staring at the mountains
Procrastinate Tomorrow – 24th May 2023
Did the time come to be wasted?
Why do tomorrow what can be done today?
Failure comes along quickly tasted
Do it now and get it out of the way
Don’t waste time wishing when the end comes
Do you really think you’ll live forever
Wondering why you cannot square the sums
No one’s time is ever made to measure
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty happy and a little tired. Having trouble with new technology (new for me) has made me stressed at times but I think I’m getting a better understanding of it.
Today I’m grateful for:
There being food in the freezer (that I bought yesterday) so I could easily eat when I got home without having to go back out again. Not much left for tomorrow now though I can probably figure out how to fill my stomach if I’m tired again.
The best thing about today was:
Meeting my M4 class of students who are a little older and a little more responsible and prepared to learn. A breath of fresh air compared with what I’m used to. I can see already some of my younger students in a couple of other classes are going to test my patience especially one who filled in an online question with ‘fuck you’! I had to laugh. It wasn’t serious, he was just trying to be clever. These new classes feel like a better mix than last year but I might be proved wrong about that too.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I guess this goes back to the technology that I mentioned above. I needed to get everyone logged into Quizizz and it was a big pain especially as most of the student’s phones are set to Thai. I think I worked out that because I sent a link in LINE it opens a window in the app instead of in the phone’s browser. This seemed to cause inconsistencies with the student names. I guess I’ll figure it out over the next few days but I hope it doesn’t become such a big problem that I have to give up using the app.
Then it’s not if I win but how I play that matters, right? – 8th February 2021
We all have to start somewhere. I was always interested in art at school because it appealed to the part of my brain that could utilise imagination rather than drier subjects that required adherence to some sort of order. Weirdly I did well enough in those subjects though. Anyway, art just felt like the easy pass.
Of course, painting wine bottles and flowers didn’t really appeal and I wasn’t mature enough or my imagination broad enough to conjure anything worthwhile. I think I actually ended up doing more artistic things at home more than in class. Two pieces particularly stick in my mind and I don’t recall doing either at school. My most prominent memory of my three years of art class was finishing off a bottle of vodka and leaving the bottle in the classroom for other people to draw in the future. That was first year of high school – we were 13 years old. 1980 or 1981.
Like the other times I’ve had to draw on my education, such as Maths and English tests when applying to University, I’ve been able to dig deep into my memory and apply myself somehow. So, now I’m sketching when I have the chance and I’m digging into those art lessons I honestly don’t remember anything. What I learned about perspective I got when studying photography back about 12 years ago and watching YouTube videos about pavement artists and force perspectives.
Now, what I really learned, and learned from punk rock and my mother, is about just doing it. Getting on and doing it. When I look at these sketches again I can see the imperfections, the incorrect spacing etc. But when I look with kindness I think, wow, that’s pretty good (for me!).
Rather than set my expectation too high and demand perfection or failure, I choose the middle ground. Do it, finish, move on.
These sketches are from my morning coffee spot, House. My enjoyment with these was due to the very strong perspective of all the straight lines in the room.
After making each drawing I gave them to Guey, the owner, and, if working from a photo I took, deleted the photo so all I end up with is a digital file of my sketch. I will do the sketch within 30 minutes, not as a rule but more that I have found the feel and if I went any further I would be getting down into detail that would take it beyond a sketch. Through these 3 sketches (over 3 or 4 days) I could feel improvement each time and they made me really happy and gave me a small sense of achievement.
When I find some more free time and inspiration I will do more but I think I’m done with House now, though they have a cute dog and a challenging garden that would be fun to draw. Hmm….ok – tomorrow!
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I have been able to continue this gratitude journal app every day for more than a year now. I will switch to writing in a diary from now.
I am so happy and grateful for the unusual big rain today and the fact that our roof holes that I plugged have held up fairly well – just a few leaks. Our plants will be happy for some water.
The best thing that happened today was being able to read whilst eating my lunch. I was late to eat so there was no one else around.
Other little nice things included many students being smiley and happy with me and trying to communicate as much as they could.
There’s a big storm hanging around today and there’s been a lot of rain. It’s funny – the dull drabness of the sky reminds me of England. Here it is a nice interlude to sunny warm days. In England, it would feel much more oppressive as those days would last for weeks on end.
The bigger things – 16th December 2019
Today I asked Kru Tam how she thought I was doing at my job. She gave me positive feedback saying she could tell how much I cared for the students to learn. She did imply that sometimes I have to pull back a little – I think that is more related to my expectations than to my lessons.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the beautiful sunrise I see every morning before school. It’s a reminder of the bigger things, the slow, slow movement of the universe. Nothing we can do but get on with it.
To-do list
- Most important * Be mentally prepared for the toughest classes of the week.
- Try to write email to Aaron during school hours – subject: books and kids.
- Clear all the Daily Stoic reading windows.
- Congratulate the kids on good work and good thinking.
- Compliment one of the other teachers.
- Follow up with Andrew about contact with Indra.
- Clear some emails.
- Study Thai for 30 minutes.
Did it list
- 30 squats and 30 weightless shoulder press
- 30 minutes study Thai – mostly prep
- Maintained calm and happiness through two of the three tough classes today
- I forgive myself for losing it for a second in that last class. How to stop from getting into that situation again? Maybe need to make my lessons more practical. I’m hoping the ClassDojo ideas lessons work out well for those classes.
- Asked Kru Tam for feedback on my performance – she said she could feel that I was really keen to help the students.
- She also advised me to try to give them more time and maybe make things a little easier.
- Sorted some more files for TCRAH
- Have an idea for TCRAH – to share the music files with a friend and get them to comment on the music, then incorporate that into the actual show.
- Read some more Daily Stoic articles and closed a few more Chrome tabs
- Unsubscribed from a blog – content was ok but I’m at the point of having to choose the ones I like best.
He’s the rebel on the underground – 17th November 2019
If you could travel back 5 years what would you tell yourself? What lessons have you learned that you would like to pass on?
I think about 5 years ago I had just embarked on working at Woolworths after helping May with Doodee in Sydney. Working at Woolworths was a weird change of pace for me that ultimately didn’t work out for me. I put my heart and soul into new work and I do that for myself. That internal reward drives me but I guess, looking back now I would have to tell myself that that reward is good and should be enough.
I also needed the positive reinforcement from other people such as the manager who behaved in a very undermining manner towards my work. I needed to be able to accept that rather than go through all the difficult times I did. I tried to make the best of a difficult situation in the end until a better opportunity arose. I think I could have jumped ship a lot quicker if I had been that confident in my abilities.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to sit this morning as the sun rose and pick off the grass seeds from my trousers. The countryside was quiet except for birds and critters making their morning noises. The sun was warm against the cool air and the somewhat arduous task became easy.
All you’ve got to do is do it – 28th January 2018
After just posting a couple of days about not being stressed about the move to Thailand I woke up mid-sleep in a panic. This is real. Once I’m there, I’m there. No turning back, no running away. I’d like to try and figure things out for myself without relying on Amy too much, though I do hope she can provide me with the emotional support I know I’m going to need!
I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Right?
The nervous energy I felt whilst winding down time in 1994 is not apparent now. I’m more composed and more reflective. I guess I have some idea what I’m in for this time. I’ve been to Thailand previously, which is at least a step ahead of when I moved to Australia. It is a massive culture difference though. I look forward to that but also curious how I might handle certain situations.
I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Right?
Anyway, I wrote this long after I woke up mid-sleep and I easily fell back to sleep after the panic. It wasn’t that bad I guess.
1994ever 