The Baton – 4th April 2024

You got all of me
The good and the bad
And for all to see
The happy and sad

Take up this race
Carry the baton on
Please take my place
I love you, son

Submitted to WDYS and NaPoMo


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. The air is pretty putrid again today. You can taste it, not just smell it.

Today I’m grateful for:

The delivery people who still manage to get our parcels to us from all around the world, despite all the disruptions in our soi from the new road being built.  4 parcels were delivered while we were out.

The best thing about today was:

The air was slightly clearer the higher up the mountains we got but then once up there it was impossible to see any view.

Most of the restaurants and resorts were closed but we found one and enjoyed Akha food and coffee before hitting Charin Pie and LungChom for desserts.

We should get home around 5 pm and hoping the electricity is back on.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In our soi, they are moving the electricity poles today so they cut off the electricity all along. And today it’s forty degrees! No choice but to go out somewhere so we took a lazy drive up to Doi Chang.

Something I learned today?

Anchan messaged me again. She is staying in Chiang Mai by herself as her extended family is working in BKK.

Her mum, who is in jail, will go to court tomorrow and may end up in prison. She sent Anchan some money to take care of herself and some bills but her uncle, whose house she stays in in Chiang Rai, demanded it all off her.

She’s only 14 and has to deal with all this. She is keen to work to support herself and is highly motivated but I’m also worried about her being vulnerable and could easily be taken advantage of.

She’s smart but the offer of good money for selling her body could sway her and I don’t want that to happen.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan 200 baht to keep her going. 

She didn’t want me to send her money and I can’t afford it much either but there is little else I can do. Even emotional support can’t buy her some vegetables.

I messaged some other of my vulnerable kids today to try and keep some dialogues open.

I took this picture because these red buds stood out at this little water feature as we entered Suan Charin Pie this afternoon.

Crow’s Feet – 19th August 2023

A survey of the skin
Tells our stories
A book held within
Full of old glories

The cut, once blood
When tears did run
Baked on, caked on mud
Drying in the sun

Each crevice and crack
Formed from laughs and cries
Can never be turned back
No matter how many tries

Botox babies and teens
Scared to take a fall
Fear what it all means
When it means not much at all

10th May 2024 – Shared to dVerse OLN


Today I’m feeling:

Slept early last night and got up early ready to go for a ride with Bruno, up to Doi Chang.

I was too early for Utopia but felt pumped to be going on a long ass ride. Once getting into the mountains the cool clean air tickled my nose with the now-familiar smells of fresh growth foliage and flowers. All the food stalls around added to the perfume and even the small fires around reminded me of camping trips from days gone by. 

It was a joy to be out there today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Bruno being the way he is and leading us to accidentally drink civet-shit coffee overlooking a glorious long valley view. 

The owners also gave us a fresh avocado with local honey and Bruno asked if they had any more to which he was told sure, just go pick them. They went off under the terrace and picked up 4 or 5 big cricket balls from high up using a net on a 3-metre bamboo pole. I love that Bruno will just go and do what takes his fancy and it always ends us up in interesting situations

The best thing about today was:

The ride down from Doi Chang and through Doi Wawee was just beautiful and Wawee especially was a pretty village. The school had just let out students at midday and we drove up past the gates. The school is magnificent, sculpted up the hillside, and looks impeccable. All the kids were happy and playful as they tumbled out down the hill. 

Riding through these places made me reflect a bit more on my place in Thailand and as a teacher. I can understand more about the teacher’s and the student’s apathy when I see the places where they live and the lack of opportunities and ambition around them. I give them a hard time to make the best of themselves and now I recognise those soft faces looking up at me quietly expressing, ‘What’s the point?’

Once on the road back to Mae Chan, I got stuck behind a van with about ten school students stuffed in the back along with various packages, parcels and goods. They were all happily, lazily chatting and looking at their phones, perhaps just being in the happy childhood state of not knowing what is going to happen next, where they are going or what they will do when they arrive.

In opposition, all I wanted to do was overtake the van but the roads were too twisty to be able to get around. I just wanted to get home to where I knew exactly everything that will happen. I wished I could go back to that state of happiness that comes from interruptions to boredom, saying yes to anything, just to hang out a bit longer.

When I was like that I was usually the last one home.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I thought I would struggle with not having my usual two morning coffees but for some reason, I was just psyched to be riding and didn’t really want to stop anywhere until we got ‘there’, wherever the next ‘there ‘ was.

At the end of the 7-hour ride, covered in mud, dirt and dust I dropped into Utopia for coffee finally and they all wondered why I hadn’t been in the morning.

Something I learned today?

I learned that civet shit coffee tastes smooth but is overpriced and overrated.

What was I like as a child?

The same as I am now but less grown up….in effect, I am still a child, it is just that I have learned how to handle adult responsibilities. 

I took this picture because we nearly missed this shop but glad we turned back to stop and check out this incredible view.

Young Buds March On Pretty – 24th December 2022

Why is this time dead?
A month to end the year
When will the winter wane
And snowfalls start to clear?

Eternal hope for spring
Give us one more go
Young buds march on pretty
Running beyond the slow

Why is December dying
And January a start?
Run no more towards the sun
Temper your beating heart


Darkness must fall before we are aware of the majesty of the stars above our heads.

Stefan Zweig

Today I’m feeling:
Tired, dizzy but in an ok mood.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s friends to take her up to Doi Chang overnight for a drunken adventure.
The best thing about today was:
Finding an interesting youtube channel of a Chinese girl travelling from Europe to China. It’s nice to see this kind of video from a non-western perspective.
Another thing was my old student Baitoey sending me a recording of her playing an online kalimba. She played Happy Birthday and wanted me to hear it. That was very nice of her and I appreciated it.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I wasn’t sure when Amy would be coming down from the mountain. She called at 10 am and it seemed like it would be early afternoon but it turned out to be around 6pm and by that time she was drunk already and we had to get through some shopping at Makro. She was in a good happy mood and I just let her be herself and everything was groovy.
Something I learned today?
From watching the youtube mentioned above I got a quick tour around the small Chinese city of Guangde in Anhui and it made me want to go there.
Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.
The tune to We Three Kings as I was just playing it on guitar. It didn’t sound terrible!

I took this picture because this is the view from my afternoon position at Utopia because it’s busier than the morning and my usual table isn’t available. For afternoon coffee I drink a Dirty, a creamy milk with a shot on top, with chocolate shavings.

Mail Order Monkey – 1st January 2022

Your life won’t be complete
For the girl you want to impress
Get your mail order monkey
Put it in a pretty dress
Or how about a monkey skull
Comes from the same supplier
Stick it on your shelf
For your new friends to admire
Mail order monkies and skulls
It’s the weirdest thing I’ve heard
Is there a better way to impress
Without something so absurd?


Weight: 76.0kg
Resting heart rate: 41


There’s only one age: alive.

Agnes Varda

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Apa for driving us up to Doi Chang yesterday and paying for lunch.


A long day yesterday. Amy’s dad drove us, with Oh’s girlfriend, her sister and mum, up to Doi Chang, which I hadn’t visited before. It was nice to have the opportunity to just sit and look out of the window and not have to concentrate on the road. Doi Chang has become well known for its coffee and now is turning itself into a camping lifestyle destination.

To be honest, there’s not much to do up there except enjoy the views but every second person seems to be building a cafe/homestay and it occurs to me that everything now is just a photograph – there’s no substance. Perhaps I’m jaded and don’t see much underneath due to cultural differences.

Anyway, I thought it’s not so far away and I’d like to ride my bike up here sometime. I’ll have to prepare for a sore butt doing that but I think it would be nice.

We had a late lunch at Singha Park. Busy but a pleasant time looking over the park from the restaurant. I try to take as much as I can with my eyes rather than taking photos. I could feel a sense of contentment rising from my stomach to my chest when I tried this.

I was flagging it by late afternoon when we got back to Amy’s parents’ house and dozed before getting up to eat a little bit of dinner, whilst everyone else geared up for drinking and karaoke. By 8.30, I lay down again and had wild, interesting, lucid dreams, punctuated by waking periods overhearing out-of-key singing to Thai tunes.

I knew it was getting late when I heard renditions of the Carpenters, Hotel California and Have You Ever Seen The Rain.

Lots of fireworks and cheering woke me again as the clock went past midnight and I got into a deeper sleep until Amy woke me at 1.30 and said it’s time to go home. She had a great time and I enjoyed everything too. I’m not big on drinking, partying and socialising and Amy understands that. We fell asleep content.

I managed to get up at 7 and, after feeding the cat,s wanted to use my aching body as I had spent most of the previous 24 hours sitting or lying down, so I walked to Utopia in the cool morning air, chatting on the phone with Hayden along the way. He may try to come to Thailand in April. Let’s see if that happens.

Lots of things I hope to catch up with today. My new MacBook Air arrived yesterday and I need to get that set up too.

Another See-Saw – 31st December 2021

Essential for self-knowledge
There’s a need to be negative
A freeing natural balance
A brain made regenerative
To be relentlessly positive
Is as toxic as its reverse
The bright days shine brighter
When we get through the worst


You have no responsibility to live up to someone else’s expectation of you.

James Clear

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have a day off and go to Doi Chang today with Amy’s family.