Tag: drama

Distraction – 8th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

The media golden penny
Shared and liked by millions
More poisoned than many
And governed by reptilians!

The rabbit’s path is lit
To keep you keen and focus
Enjoying the wade-through shit
Until the shepherd woke us

When the golden penny dropped
Baring the true face of the media
That’s when the distraction stopped
To build your own encyclopedia

The following is a letter from January 8th, 2024, delivered today from the past

Dear FutureMe,

It’s now 30 years since leaving the UK. Now it seems like it doesn’t make much difference. After ten years it was still quite a novelty and being in Australia was still filled with wild emotions. But since then it felt like the UK was no longer something I understood or was a part of.

Though I count Thailand as my home now it is still a little tenuous to stay here and if I leave here in the future it definitely won’t be back to the UK but most likely Australia (unless Amy and I end up somewhere else).

You didn’t write much about this at the time but Amy and her family are going through a typical Thai-style drama at the moment and I wonder if it is all settled by the time of receiving this letter.

Amy’s man-child useless brother and his girlfriend are due to get married. Whilst that should be a cause for celebration we can see that this is not anything to do with love but purely circumstance. When quizzed on his reasons for marriage her brother purely said it was because he was getting old. He said this in front of his bride-to-be.

And so why has she agreed to this?

Part of the condition of marriage is that Amy’s mum will pay off their debts with her newly acquired money from selling her apartments. She will also have to pay a dowry to the bride’s family. So the bride and her family do get some benefit from this arrangement. And what the future might bring for them, who knows?

She now lives in Chiang Rai whilst he is in Bangkok. They don’t talk about anything they are doing and they have no plans for the future. Everything looks like it is just a short-term plan to get out of debt.

Amy’s brother contributes nothing to their family and is selfish beyond belief except for his one or two friends who he treats to food and drink every time they meet. Essentially, he is buying their friendship. His mum and dad treat him like a prince, forgiving him for any wrong he commits.

He’s drunk every day and can’t even piss in the bowl. If he comes to our house again I will instruct him to go piss in the garden.

Amy is obviously upset at the treatment he receives in comparison to the way she is expected to behave. It is a stereotypical patriarchal behaviour that is perpetuated by her parents but not something Amy will stand for. But she also has to bide her time and play the game, so to speak, to make sure that she gets her fair share of inheritance in the future. Otherwise, he is likely to receive everything and even so, he might already end up pissing away the inheritance money before they even expire. We’ve seen it happen in other aunties’ families.

It surely is a frustrating situation though it doesn’t impact me directly at this stage. I just have to be supportive of Amy and listen to her troubles when she needs me.

It’s the start of another year and I’m not much into resolutions or planning for the year, just taking it as it comes. I’m still very happy with my place in the world on an individual basis and hope it can stay that way for the foreseeable future.

I hope this letter finds me still happy and content and maybe even a little wiser.
Take it easy
PastMe

The City – 24th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

You can have me over and over again
But your hands will never reach all the way around
Your honeymoon here might seem fantastic
But soon enough your feet will touch the ground

Here now where it all seems right
Sipping coffee and getting scribble down
Trees dance shadows across the windows
And soon enough this will be your town

Inspired by this post at Spinning Visions and submitted to Living Poetry – city

Today I’m feeling:

Not so bad.  I woke up a little unsure how I was feeling but pushed myself up and out of bed with a surprise alarm and kick-started myself with exercise that I really didn’t want to do but glad that I did.

I got inspired to write some new lessons after finding a podcast for teen girls, which I can easily adapt for my classes.  I guess I’m feeling a little more invigorated than the last few days at home.  I know that this is trying to tell me something but I’m kinda trying to ignore it!

Baipad didn’t come to school today, which is not unexpected.  She had messaged Fahmai already that she was crying all last night.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Mai reminding me that we needed to have 50% of our grading scores in the system. I saw a message in Thai about this at the weekend so I knew it was something being done but usually I don’t do anything unless instructed in English.

I had already been filling in scores over the last couple of months anyway, so it was no big deal to fill out the rest with the four hours I had free today.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling in control.  I felt above average all day without any wild highs or low lows and I felt that I could deal with everything that got thrown at me, which wasn’t much anyway.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Tomorrow is another event day and some of my grade 12 students are generally busy preparing things for it.  They asked me for free time tomorrow and I consented on the condition that they must submit a small piece of work by the end of the day for me.

It’s hard to consistently teach some of these classes as there are always students missing, being taken off to do other projects.  I’m getting used to it now.

Something I learned today?

Wipping came to class late and fake-crying because Kru Tan had scolded her and the team that performed in the drama competition a couple of weeks ago (despite coming second in the whole northern region!).

This evening I messaged Wipping to ask why they were still talking about it, assuming that only the winners went on to the next stage of the competition. She told me that the top 3 go on, so they will be under more pressure from Kru Tan to perform well. 

My guess is Kru Tan is old school, motivating them with threats, bullying and pressure.  All of the students involved are down and depressed about it but I’m trying to get them to deal with it and deflect away from that method of motivation.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Every Wednesday morning now I sit in on the class that used to be assigned to me and help the students with their work.  I’m glad that the Thai teacher is ok with it because it fills a bit of my day rather than just sitting in the cafe until 2.30 and it’s a no pressure class, I can just help when I want and the rest of the time I’m preparing other lessons.

After school, I was starving and decided that I would ride up to the uni market to get food and could drop in on Baipad on the way to see how she was.  Perhaps a day off was what she needed because she seemed happy and over any residual grief from yesterday.  I took both her and her sister up to the market and we all got ourselves fed.

I took this picture on Saturday because I wanted to make a joke with Baipad and Jan (walking by with NamHom), saying ‘Look, three buffalo and NamHom.’ Buffalo is the slang word for ‘stupid’ here.

The Contradiction – 4th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

There are always days I disagree
With all the things that even I believe
The human condition
Is a contradiction
But I’m still blessed to receive

Today I’m feeling:

I woke up hot as the aircon conked out in the middle of the night and for some reason, my hips, back and shoulders were stiff and aching badly. It took me a while to get moving. It wasn’t until later in the morning that I felt more comfortable again. I also found some nice stretches that I hope will help too along with some advice on sleeping positions which may be the root of the problem. I also bought some gym rings earlier this week and today I hung them in the entertainment area so that I can hang from them and get a good whole-body stretch, my poor old wrists willing.

Today I’m grateful for:

Boss at Utopia advising me about an aircon repair shop just in the next building to there. I’m still not good at recognising the shops here. Pictures can be very misleading on buildings as they might just be being used for shade or advertising for another business somewhere else. A lot of shops don’t offer much information on the outside either. Rural Thailand also isn’t the sort of place where you can walk down the street and just check out stores either. Through translation tools and my broken Thai, I managed to arrange for someone to come and check out the aircon tomorrow though later got a message saying it may have to be on another day. I know all these repair people are busy fixing broken aircon everywhere at the moment.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling an improvement in my body from the stretching and hanging. Once my body felt better I felt compelled to be doing things such as a bit of cutting back the crazy vine and some watering in the garden as well as ironing my shirts. I did take an afternoon nap again though only for the duration of one play-through of Yes’s Drama today. I did feel good enough to play some guitar again too. I totally skipped it yesterday.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Aside from taking a nap and my body aches as mentioned there’s nothing that really bothered me today.

Something I learned today?

In Sapiens I was reading about The Problem of Evil and why do bad things happen to good people. If we remove the judgement elements from the sentence and reduce it to ‘why do things happen to people’, the problem disappears.

How am I feeling right now?

I’m in bed now about to read and sleep and I can feel a little ache in my back again and I’m worried I’m going to feel stiff and achy again in the morning. I’ll try to keep the advice about sleep position in my subconscious during the night and hopefully that can help. Mentally I’m feeling pretty good. Did some reading, writing, guitar playing and Thai study to keep my brain moving.

I took this picture because Tigger cries to come into the living room just so he can sit on my shirts that are waiting to be ironed.

How Do You Do, Bartholomew? – 3rd June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In the battle between one god
And this supreme being’s two sets of believers
Each arguing that they were doing good
And that the others were purely deceivers

These good deeds involved massacring
Those that believed the same thing
Killing more of each other than those
That hated what some good deeds might bring

More than the Romans ever threw to the lions
Over the space of three hundred years
In just one day thousands lay dead
And the Pope rejoiced with glorious tears

The irony seems to be lost on some
When their books said to live and let live
Only humans could twist the words of their god
And make it part of their dogma to forgive

Inspired by a section of Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari dealing with religion.
1st Apr 2024 – Submitted to My Vivid Blog

Today I’m feeling:

I’m zonked out today. I went to bed around one thirty last night and I knew I was dog tired but still felt like I was in a good mood and should be doing things. I knew it wasn’t the best idea though and fell asleep quickly in the end. I got up late this morning and felt pretty good but by about lunchtime, I was crashing. I just ran out of energy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Yes’s album Drama, which I listened through twice as I crashed out through the afternoon on the sofa. I drifted in and out of consciousness as did the music. At times it made me think of the 70s and 80s, the Old Grey Whistle Test and listening to John Peel late at night. I can’t recall any of the music, even just a couple of hours later but I know I enjoyed it. I’ll listen to it again soon.

The best thing about today was:

Getting into bed early and getting a message from my student Jet that she was having problems at home with her mum and stepdad. I tried to understand as best I could and gave her my support. Jet is a very funny, smart but lazy, tomboy that speaks her mind and has a lot of bravado but as with any kid around 12-15 has her own insecurities and hers is whether her parents love her.
Her mum and dad split a couple of years ago after her dad cheated and no doubt her mum was shocked and sad, and now with a new man living in the house there must be all sorts of conflicting emotions at play for everyone.
Sadly, a lot of kids are facing situations like this. I wonder if it is spurring on the popularity of lesbian relationships here. Girls are seeing how badly their mothers get treated and then forgive and remain subservient to men and they’re deciding that’s not what they want in their lives but they still want love.
Anyway, the reason this was the best thing that happened today was Jet’s response of ‘Thanks for listening, you’re the best teacher and I love you! ‘
That warmed my heart though I did remind her that I am not perfect either!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My energy levels, handled by sleep! I think I just get so exhausted during the week at school and whilst still buzzing on the Friday, it all comes crashing down on the weekend. That’s not to say I didn’t get anything done or feel down. I’ll bounce back.

Something I learned today?

Apparently, there was a report out of Cambridge University Press that China is no longer communist but runs a free market, controlled capitalist system and that at the same time, the USA is becoming an increasingly authoritarian system. In my lifetime the world has turned upside down but I still know where to stand.

What are some simple pleasures that bring me happiness?

Coffee. Is coffee simple enough? Maybe not but right now it is simple. Reading a good book that stimulates thought and memory. The smell of night jasmine. A clean shave. The soft ache of a post-workout body. The struggle of conversation in a second language.

I took this picture because this is Thailand. Dirty, dusty, hot, random, wild, beautiful.

We got that attitude! – 11th June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Hayden in hospital – far away can’t see. Drama in his life. Girls – damn, was that always my problem too? Glad I found a couple of good ones in my time. What to do – what to say? Talk to him later I guess.

Head not too clear – last night say goodbye to Nu as he heads home. Couple of beers – no drunk feeling but slight blurry feeling this morning. Head with thoughts but not clear.

Cracking creaking neck. Stretch it better. Bleugh, alcohol. Fat belly breathing up and down. Try to clear.

Teach tonight. Talk more. Am I good at talking– good at listening?

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that my son was smart enough to seek help when he really needed it. I hope he can work through his problems and lead a happy life.

To-do list

  • Mini-zine for Nu – check his Facebook ½
  • Positive – smile- compliment – wish ½
  • Prepare for meeting Mike tomorrow ✅
  • More Thai practice – this is a great opportunity ✅
  • Try to talk with Hayden more ½

As Hayden had had his phone taken off him it was hard to talk with him today but he called me at lunchtime and he sounded much better today. He thinks he’ll be there for a few more days and I hope they can get him on the right path. I think he knows about this but is finding it difficult to get away from what he is familiar with. He has also struggled with the idea of change but could give himself more credit for how well he has actually dealt with it in the past.

I was a little quiet today but actually quite happy, just wanted to listen more than speaking today.

I tried to do the mini-zine in the morning and I put all the ideas together but the execution was awful. I’ll work on a proper version and send it to him. It was fun to put together though and I’d like to do it for more people.