Who determines the state of us turtles? Is it those that pump poison into my home? As if there is not enough for us to deal with Better you didn’t exist and left us all alone
A little better. I started to feel almost ok after eating some dinner last night. I wasn’t really hungry but ate anyway and glad that I did. I struggled with sleep again last night but don’t feel too tired yet; I know that I really need to push through today and not take a nap so that I can enjoy a good sleep tonight. Right now – 8 am – I feel like I have the start of a cold or flu again, much like I did last week. So despite feeling better than I did on Saturday, I’m still on the edge.
Today I’m grateful for:
The hospital being close by and able to see Amy for whatever allergy is bothering her skin at 9 pm. Hopefully, it’s nothing serious but best for her to get checked as she has had attacks from allergies before.
The best thing about today was:
Playing lots of guitar although much of it was frustrating as I haven’t played much this week and I can notice the struggle I am having to get my coordination working again.
Something I learned today?
I learned what a cherita is in poetry. I will give this a go sometime. I’m currently thinking about a cascading poem using a nomeansno lyric as a starting point.
Cherita (pronounced CHAIR-rita) is a linked poetry form of one-, two- and three-line stanzas.
Cherita is the Malay word for “story” or “tale”.
A cherita consists of a one-line stanza, followed by a two-line stanza, and then finishing with a three-line stanza.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I talked a little bit with my student Earn again and gave her some more encouragement as she figures out who she is and where she is going in her life. As usual, it’s wonderful to watch these kids grow and mature.
How do I practice self-care on a busy day?
My days are mostly made busy by self-care! Over the last few years, I have been bringing self-care to the forefront of my mind and I no longer mean this in a selfish way (as I might have done in the past).
My days are generally not that busy so the remaining time is taken up with self-care in the form of reading, writing, relaxation and thinking. On a busy day, the actions are the same. Each space must be filled with thought that ensures care for one’s self (along with everyone around).
I took this picture because the school cat Garfield was waiting for cuddles and rubs this morning.
Sore. My back and knees are complaining after stressing them yesterday whilst cleaning out the sink drain.
Today I’m grateful for:
The parking guys with their whistles at Makro. I don’t know why they are necessary or why they blow their whistles so much as it’s impossible to understand if it means anything. I almost ran the guy over because I had a clear reverse behind me and he was the only thing in the way!
The best thing about today was:
Spending a few hours in my room, catching up on reading, sorting music, downloading and listening and then practising guitar. I want to spend more time doing this but I still don’t really enjoy being in that room anymore.
Something I learned today?
The average age of a Ukrainian soldier right now is 43!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I followed up with Earn, asking her the same question as I did about six weeks ago – Tell me five things you like about yourself. Her answers are better than last time. Less focused on looks and more focused on feelings and emotions.
What is a happy memory from my childhood?
I’ve lots of snippets of memories that are not particularly happy or sad, just things that happened. Some may have felt ecstatic at the time such as playing football at school or tragic like the time I cracked my eyebrow open on the edge of a step but at this distance, they are just events. I consider my childhood to be memories until I was about halfway through middle school, pre-pubescent. After that, I consider myself a teenager until I was forty!
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 11. Lead the Way. When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You’re a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision.
Before going through teenage depression I thought that I could be a leader. After that though, I mostly wanted to keep my head down though I still had a selfish streak of arrogance which popped up from time to time.
Whilst doing DIY punk things in Sydney I never felt like a leader but did hope that I was an inspiration for others and I can think of two friends for sure who did take something from what I was doing and ran with it themselves.
Now, at school, in Thailand, I consider myself the same. Not as a leader but as an inspiration. I want to inspire my students to become the best of themselves. I don’t work for prizes and awards and I don’t want to be managing other adults. I don’t want to lead people in such a way as to tell them what to do. Rather than leading I just want to be doing something. Anything. Just do it.
I took this picture because this was one of the few super cute kittens that were jumping around, playing and sleeping on this spirit house at the Night Bazaar last night.
Ready to go, ready to do, ready to be. Struggled through the new abs exercises but didn’t feel quite as much aching around the sides this time. Back to some arm work tomorrow even though my shoulder isn’t quite yet 100 percent.
Today I’m grateful for:
The dental clinic because I had to change my appointment since I’m now teaching an extra class on Thursday.
The best thing about today was:
Watching my second lot of grade 8s making well-wishing cards and Poppy going out into the playground and giving the card to her crush.
Then after that, Nicha and Tonkla gave each other cards in what could finally see them become closer. Nicha has been crushing on Tonkla for a couple of months already.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Creme brought two kittens in to school today. They are just two days old and their mum has disappeared. She has to feed them goats milk every two hours.
Is that good for them? I don’t know. I don’t know if they will make it.
Too many cats here and not enough responsible owners. Everyone loves cats but they don’t want to or can’t afford to pay for them properly.
Something I learned today?
Arsenal are out of the FA Cup, Manchester City beat Huddersfield 5-0 and Israel has already spent 60 billion dollars on its genocide of Palestinians.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent messages to Nicha and Poppy telling them I was proud of their bravery today.
I encouraged and supported Nut and Namsai when I could see them understanding the work I gave them today.
Are these good deeds? They feel like just the deeds of a teacher. It’s good to note them for myself I guess so that I am reminded of them in the future.
Write about a time when you laughed uncontrollably.
There is a joke, a basic form of which is below, that I used to love to tell when I was maybe 13 or 14 years old. You can see from the text that the joke is not very long but with a bit of practice you can make it last as long as you like.
I don’t know where I originally heard the joke but it got a good laugh when I first told it and then, when others had joined, I was asked to tell it again and soon it became a request and even though everyone knew the punchline, which is hilarious because it isn’t even that funny, the laughter was in the telling.
At some point in one telling of the joke it took so long to tell because everyone was rolling around the room in tears of laughter, including myself. I reckon it took about an hour. I felt that that was the ultimate telling and haven’t thought about that joke for a long time.
As I didn’t remember where I’d heard the joke I wondered if it was even a joke that might be popular and searchable online but sure enough I found it.
I doubt it will draw much laughter now, unless you are 13 or 14 years old perhaps.
Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant’s backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go. A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried, they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.
One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. The big day arrived, they set up all the monitoring equipment and set out to a safe distance.
The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer.
BBBAAANNNGGG!
The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 miles away) was up to his knees and the first (1 mile away) was up to his waist. When the others joined the scientist who was 1 mile away they noticed that he was in fits of laughter.
“What the %$*& is so funny?” asked one of the scientists.
“You should have seen the monkey’s face trying to get the cork back in!!!”
I took this picture because Earn was happy and dancing today. Her happiness often depends on the interest of boys and she confided something I didn’t quite follow but included the sentence ‘he’s come back’. I’m trying to encourage her to love herself more.
Removed from the mundane The newness shines a light It’s simple to explain Why it burns so bright
Let the first kiss remain The nowness such a delight Unsure and unsteady aim But dressed to win the night
Today I’m feeling:
Good in the morning after sleeping pretty well for almost 11 hours. I woke up on and off in the early hours as Tigger was complaining that the sun was coming up and that meant eating time! We stayed on for another couple of hours as he came and went with his chit chat.
After coffee, massage and spicy hot pot though I fell back into a doze whilst listening to Sorry’s albums, one of which I had to play again as I totally missed it in a deep sleep. I couldn’t get going again after that. My body is catching up with all the energy it has exerted with exercise this week. But I also feel good.
Today I’m grateful for:
The lady at the hot spring that gave me a massage this morning. Nothing out of the ordinary but the time flashed by and it was a good way to start the day (after coffee, which is the essential way to start the day!)
The best thing about today was:
The cooler weather that let us enjoy our home, both inside and out. I joked with Hayden that it’s t-shirt weather, in this case, meaning it’s cold enough to put on a t-shirt.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In the morning Amy was talking about going to a jazz restaurant this evening, the thought of which didn’t excite me much. It is nice to go and do things together but I love being at home in my free time doing all the things I enjoy. I don’t have the urge to go out much anymore now I’ve found my contentment.
Something I learned today?
The German government stated that if Europe wants to complete its ‘energy transition’, it needs control of massive lithium reserves. And those reserves are located in Donetsk-Luhansk (now technically part of Russia).
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Over the last two days I’ve been messaging my student Earn and encouraging her to think about all the things she likes about herself. She finds it very easy to find five things to do with her looks, she’s a cute kid and knows it, so I pushed her in the direction of her personality and beliefs and she stumbles a bit here as she lacks some self-confidence. I was surprised she told me that she doesn’t think that she is a very nice person. That’s some good self-awareness but a surprising thing to admit, especially if you think it is a negative trait. I guess it goes hand in hand with low self-confidence. I gave her more positive feedback which she appreciated.
I took Amy to all the shops that she wanted to go to for ingredients this morning and carried the bags.
When summonsed I dug some holes for Amy to plant some cactuses around the garden.
Namkhing took this picture because Nicha wanted a selfie and I said she’d have to take it so then she roped in NK to do it and after taking the pictures she jokingly added this shot as she was handing back my phone. We were out on the football fields after school yesterday watching the girl’s teams play soccer. It was a lot of fun. No new pictures today.Namkhing, Fah, Nicha and me, monkeying around.
I’m seventeen today I’ve learned very little so far Don’t expect so much This is the way we are
I’m only seventeen This is no time for babies The future so uncertain My life so full of maybes
Yes, I’m seventeen Full of doubts and bluster I can do anything With the energy I can muster
I’m already seventeen Stop telling me what to do I can do what I want I don’t need to listen to you
I’m dead at seventeen My life already done Everything a disaster Will eighteen never come?
I’m still seventeen Inside an adult insecure Learning all about life Always growing more
Today I’m feeling:
Back to normal though I still have some phlegm on my chest but it doesn’t bother me now. I’m feeling good and positive mentally too.
Today I’m grateful for:
The bread shop at Big C that has a black sesame mochi-bread type thing that is a yummy snack and then a little chocolate pastry that I follow up with. It’s a small treat for myself sometimes.
The best thing about today was:
Having a reasonably simple but long (for me) conversation in Thai with Goya about the colours of the day in Thailand and the colours of the shirts we were wearing and our shirts for sports day. It was only as I walked away I realised that we’d been speaking in Thai the whole time and I felt a little bit proud of myself. I’m grateful to Goya for that today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had a simple class in the morning and the kids were trying to catch up on work for their science class, which frustrated me at first.
I took all their work away telling them that there was plenty of time and that if they finished my class they would be free to do the work they wanted. They reluctantly agreed and most of the class completed the work with plenty of time to spare…. except three students who wanted to go to the bathroom and disappeared for about 20 minutes.
It is still a case of herding cats with some of these kids though they are slowly improving.
Something I learned today?
Brodie Grundy has joined the Swans from Collingwood. Amy used to mention how handsome he was whenever she saw him playing but she’s not so keen now he’s looking a bit older.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Once again I offered Earn some advice because she is shy to talk to the boy she likes. I told her that if she doesn’t talk to him she will never know how he feels. And if she does talk to him then she will know and whatever way he feels about is a positive outcome for her.
Really, she is not shy at all, she is just scared of rejection. She agreed. She then wanted to focus on how pretty she was. I told her that that is only one element of who she is and not to get so hung up on it. She appreciated my advice but I’m not sure that she is strong enough to act on it (yet).
Little Nicha is also crushing on a boy in her class but insists that he doesn’t like her. She is also too shy to find out. I talked to him a little today, asking if he liked any girls in the class but he is either too shy to talk about it or hasn’t even thought about it yet. The girls seem ready for ‘romance’ whilst the boys are stuck on football and video games.
I don’t know if I have the best advice for these kids but what I do want to get across to the girls is to be strong and independent.
I joined Baipad, Jan and Apple in the canteen at lunchtime and they also introduced me to their friend Chompoo. I tried to get them all talking about things in English as much as I could instead of looking at their phones.
Quote: “You’re only poor if you give up. The most important thing is that you did something. Most people only talk and dream of getting rich. You’ve done something.” – Robert T. Kiyosaki
I don’t consider myself rich though where I live others might consider me so. I still gauge things in Aussie dollars and in comparison, I’m not rich at all. Comfortable, I suppose.
I never really expected to be rich and when I dreamt about it I was fully aware it was a dream. I never thought to try and marry rich or even chase money particularly. I was lucky to have a very well-paying job for a few years and whilst saving some I also invested it into philanthropic art with my music label.
So all this time I was busy doing things, doing something. In fact, I even made a T-shirt that just had two words on the front ‘do something’. I had been practising this even before leaving England with my free pamphlet ‘Fuck Around’.
Whether you like something or not, you have no right to reply if you are doing nothing yourself.
One of the purposes of this trail of words on this blog is to look back at all the something I did.
I got this picture from August because my students were supposed to be working but hid themselves behind some stage props in the classroom and started their own little photo shoot. As the quality of the picture shows I caught them before they got very far. I told them that if they didn’t finish my work today I would send the pictures to their homeroom teacher and, sufficiently threatened, they mostly got on with it. It was an empty threat anyway, I just wanted to see my naughty students having fun. Pictured are Fah and Nicha (holding the guitar).
The whitest wild eyes of youth Lips that have never kissed Always running away from truth Without fear of anything missed
The smoothest skin, muddied hands Boys and girls with crazy dreams And no one ever really understands What the problem really means
Loving and losing without a touch A game on the playground of thought Wanting it all and not wanting much Is all that’s ever been taught
Today I’m feeling:
Much better though somehow time ran out yesterday and I was so tired so I woke up with a complete surprise when my alarm went off. I could’ve slept for a few more hours. But as soon as I got to school I got my energy back again. Now I’m only coughing a little bit.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nancy for helping to fast-track my visa so that I can lodge it tomorrow and get my visa extended until it’s completed. It means driving to Mae Sai tomorrow so I’ll miss my first class in the morning but should be able to get back for the afternoon.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling good in general despite being on the go for most of the day from morning exercise, getting to work, photocopying for my first class, teaching, writing and reading during the only real downtime of the day today, back to class then finishing, shopping, post office, back to the city after Nancy’s call, back home, setting up for Loy Kratong, preparing to tomorrow, playing guitar, studying, cleaning up all the Loy Kratong candles, finally into bed.
Lots of good interactions with people even though not all of them were about positive things. Again, not one thing stands out as best.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
6 of my grade 8 students didn’t really bother doing work in my class today which was very disappointing. I didn’t really get upset about it, though I did deduct points from them in the SchoolBright system and tell their homeroom teacher(who is pretty useless). I’m not going to bother pushing these kids much as I only see them once a week. They understand what my requirements are and it’s pretty simple. If they can’t be bothered, well, it’s up to them.
Something I learned today?
According to Al Jazeera Israel has released 117 Palestinians in the last 3 days and in that same time they’ve detained 116 new Palestinian prisoners in areas across the occupied West Bank!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I messaged Earn about her not getting distracted by other students in my class today which she is sometimes prone to do. She said it was because she was in a good mood, so I told her to try and bring her good mood to every class.
I messaged Funfai who told me that she won 3rd place in her tennis competition which was for the whole of Thailand. I congratulated her on all her good work.
I took some selfies and gave Kru Fang a farewell hug as today is her last day at our school. I hope she is happy and has a good future.
I was Amy’s Loy Kratong photographer and assistant with setting up and lighting candles. I happily did as she requested despite her shortness with me at times.
What do I want to focus on this week?
My focus at the moment has come around to consistent Thai study with ThaiPod101. But I’m already in the habit with that so I don’t need to focus particularly.
Same for exercise and playing guitar.
I should focus on finishing sorting out the piles of things in my room as I never got to finishing it. I made it to a functional and clean 85% leaving 15% of things that I didn’t want to make a decision on yet.
I took this picture because the full November moon means it is Loy Kratong, a festival to celebrate the goddess of water and ironically ends up polluting most rivers with debris of one sort or another.
I know you’re sad and feeling upset And your anger is directed at me But I know you just don’t get it yet And one day you’ll eventually see
These growing pains are emotional times And you gather support for your cause But you’re still misreading all the signs And banging your head on closed doors
I hope the light will reveal the way Towards a path that’s free from pain There’s nothing now that I can say That you can understand when I explain
Take your bravado and all your bluster And point it in the right direction And all the learning you can muster Will offer you a lifelong protection
Today I’m feeling:
Better for a good sleep although it wasn’t long enough. I almost succumbed to the snooze but powered through and did my exercise. My busy day ahead, I need to relax into it.
Now I’m back at home and glad the workday is done. I did get home to discover one of our cats decided to use the lounge in the dining room as a toilet which stunk up the dining room. Thankfully it’s not so hot and humid now otherwise I might have been asphyxiated.
Today I’m grateful for:
The projector in our classroom that can share my computer screen for the class to see. Keep reading to find out why this is relevant today.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to keep myself under control despite a series of frustrating events throughout the day.
In my first class, three students didn’t show up and after about 10 minutes I got a message from one saying that they were helping another, Earn, to sort out a problem with her phone. I replied that Earn could sort it out by herself and they should come back to class. A reply came back that Earn doesn’t know how to ride a motorbike so they had to go together. The smell of bullshit was confirmed when I asked the rest of the class about this. I asked their homeroom teacher too and he said to deduct points from them in the system which I duly did. They complained to me later but I told them that their actions have consequences. It feels to me like they are not used to this in general.
In my next class, we don’t have a remote control for the projector and I just use a long stick to push the ‘on’ button. Sometimes I ask the students to do it for me and today I asked Opor. Somehow she had managed to swivel the projector around so it no longer pointed at the wall. I then took over to try and realign it. Now, I already knew that the projector was not quite secure up there as I had seen that there was a bolt missing to keep it slotted into the bracket. This wouldn’t normally matter so long as the projector wasn’t moved. And so…..
With a nudge and a push suddenly the projector slipped off and the wires pulled the cover off the cable concealer and the projector bounced off the table, luckily not injuring anyone.
Somehow it was still working and I quickly managed to rig it up by putting a chair on the table and the projector on a chair with a couple of books to angle it so the kids could still see. I later managed to get it back up onto the ceiling and wound a couple of paper clips through the bracket so that it shouldn’t fall again!
About an hour into the class, I realised one of the students wasn’t doing any work. All they had to do was copy what was showing on the board. He’s not the brightest kid but today really took the cake and it was so daft that I just had to laugh.
I asked him why he wasn’t doing anything. He told me he didn’t have a book. It then came out that not only didn’t he have a book but that he didn’t have anything! I asked what was in his bag that was next to his chair on the floor. He said he didn’t know! What? His friend then explained that somehow he had picked up someone else’s bag and presumably someone somewhere in the school had his!
I asked whose bag it was and again he said he didn’t know! I have no idea what he planned to do to find his bag later! I told him to look inside to find out who it belonged to which would at least give him a clue as to who might have his bag. FFS!
Ok. Enough of that nonsense. But wait… there’s more. I had warned two girls already about playing with their phones in class and had already taken them once but had to return to do the online quiz. The second time I took them and gave them to their homeroom teacher and told the kids they could ask her for them after class.
After class, they went to see her and she said they could have their phones back at the end of the day. They begged that they needed their phones to pay for lunch but the teacher told them to go away. Another student told me they were crying as they walked off.
I felt a little bad for them at that point but the longer I thought about it the better I felt about it as it was a good lesson for them and if they were really hungry they could probably get their friends to pay for them.
Knowing where they hang out I walked past them a bit later and they half-heartedly told me not to talk to them. When I asked what I did wrong they tried to blame me but they knew that they had done the wrong thing. They had accepted the result at this point and didn’t seem too upset in the end.
And…..in the library, some serious gossipy drama was going on between students in the M2 classes and though I couldn’t understand the details it seemed to be heavy teenage stuff. Apparently, they’re having trouble with a couple of other students and I advised them to just ignore it and avoid them if they can.
Then…. For my last class, I decided to sit one-on-one with each student and have them read the text that they had been familiarizing themselves with this week. Yesterday we went through the text and written on the board how to pronounce some difficult words using Thai phonetically.
But it soon became obvious that no one had bothered to help themselves by writing it down themselves! Instead of getting upset (although I was!) I used it as an opportunity to reiterate to them that they need to help themselves and I can’t just magic knowledge into their heads.
They got it. But they will need constant reminders.
I still love all these little rascals.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I guess all the above could apply here though I never really felt out of control. This at least shows some growth within myself.
Something I learned today?
There is now so much information casting doubt on the truth about the hijackers flying planes into the Twin Towers in New York that the whole thing is just making the USA look like a giant clown world. It seems best not to believe anything and not to think too much about it. Is this a sidestep on think global, act local and pushing everyone back towards think local, act local?
The world is a funny place and sometimes I want to switch it off.
What is one thing that I often take for granted in my life?
I answered a similar question to this recently. I take so much for granted really. I don’t have to worry about so many things that other people have to.
Electricity and water are always taken for granted (until that time I forgot to pay the bill!). I would totally have to change my life if either of those went missing for whatever reason.
Showing daily gratitude constantly reminds me of the situation I am in so even if I do take things for granted I can still put out to the world my appreciation.
How did I change today?
It’s appropriate that this question came up today and though my answer doesn’t actually show a change on this day it is the day that I noticed how I have changed in the last couple of years.
The day of challenges thrown at me (described above) would have been handled differently maybe even just one year ago.
I am comfortable where I am right now though I’m unsure if I can take this positive relaxed attitude into future stressful situations that may arise. Nothing to do except to find out.
BB took this picture because Khawhom (pictured) was using my phone to hotspot so I left it on her desk. BB was one of the students whose phone I had confiscated and she cheekily picked up my phone. I noticed and assumed that she was taking lots of pictures in a defiant amusing act of revenge but surprisingly this was the only one. It is also the only picture taken today.
A cracked cup Chipped and faded Sits dusty behind antique glass A spectator to many stories Left untold
Holding congratulations aloft Cheers to that day Or sombre with lukewarm water The passing of time
The spiders came With their own tales Making a new home Hiding in wait But nothing comes All the times have died
The heat, the air The insects and the weeds A cup returns to earth Still cracked, still broken Yet still a cup
Today I’m feeling:
Strong and healthy. But also getting a little positive anxiety to start planning for next semester. It’s positive because I will use that as motivation. At the start of my exercise routine this morning I felt like I would want to fall back into bed by the end of it but I was suitably energised to get myself going. I can feel some of the exercises getting a little easier but push-ups kill me.
Today I’m grateful for:
The DuoCards app that is helping me improve my Thai learning quicker than other apps I use. I’m considering buying the subscription so that I can practice for longer. I currently use 4 free apps which are all time limited. DuoCards is a spaced repetition flashcard system similar to Anki.
The best thing about today was:
Getting a nice message from Earn after I sent her some positive reinforcement in an effort to help her combat her shyness when talking to a boy she likes. She wrote ‘i luv u t.shaun’ which comes as a big surprise as she was very rebellious and grumpy with me for a lot of the time last year.
Also today, Fah tried to sneak away from my class this afternoon and I just happened to see her and call her back and she was a little upset and impatient at the time. I messaged her later and she is smart enough to understand that she shouldn’t have done that.
When some of my students call me ‘father’ in a loving way I sometimes think that perhaps now I am suitable and knowledgeable enough to actually be a father. But that time has come and gone. It also helps that I don’t need to see ‘my children’ for more than a couple of hours at a time!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
For the second time, someone stole my cooling powder from the small teacher’s room where I keep my things at work. I have to remember to see if I can find keys for the lockers in one of the classrooms tomorrow.
Something I learned today?
In a speech directed at the USA Xi Jinping commented on their behaviour with a Chinese idiom along the lines of ‘blowing out everyone else’s light won’t give more light to you’. I liked that as it seems appropriate.
What is one good thing I can do for myself?
Keep going.
I took this screenshot because I thought I could use it from time to time to send to students when they are feeling a little down. I’ve been collecting other similar inspirational quotes for them since too. No new pictures today.
Whoever said it, wherever they were Whatever it is that was soon forgot Whenever there’s some wrath to incur To each their own and whatnot
Again, inspired by a short sentence at Spinning Visions blog.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good by the end of the day. I wasn’t quite sure how I was feeling when I got to school and the ‘art event’ that cancelled my morning classes didn’t seem to feature any art and felt like another money-grabbing exercise, from already fairly poor kids, with all the food stalls. I left pretty quickly and did some lesson preparations as one of the things I was teaching seemed to go over a few student’s heads yesterday. Time passed very swiftly along with my two coffees!
Today I’m grateful for:
All the students that I don’t even know that say hello and fist-bump me as they walk by. Rista laughed at me today when I couldn’t remember a student’s name but I have so many names to remember already. I’ve forgotten the names of some of my students that I taught two years ago. I sat with one today and knew he was one of two names but couldn’t remember which, later recalling it was Tan.
In the afternoon I was talking with Kru Ren and he said he wants to work here as long as possible which I found surprising for a fresh out of uni first-year teacher. But I understand his feeling. For me, I want to stay as long as possible too because of the pleasure of watching the students grow.
The best thing about today was:
Talking with Poppy at lunchtime. This follows on from the point above. Poppy has totally done a 180 since last year and she happily admitted it when I was talking with her. She said last year she was very immature and stubborn and she caused me a few problems in my classes. Even my trying to gain her confidence by teaching her card tricks didn’t seem to have any effect though perhaps she subconsciously realised I was reaching out to her after all her friends disowned her. I never thought badly of her behaviour though and told her not to worry about anything from last year. She’s become more aware of how her actions affect people around her and realised that she needed to make a change unless she wanted to continue being an outcast. I’m proud of her and enjoy talking to her now.
And then there’s Earn. She struggled in my class last year and was frustrating at times though she also had an ability to charm when it suited her motives. I could see that she was capable but fell back to laziness and distraction. One time her face absolutely lit up when she grasped a particular concept but it was difficult for her to maintain enthusiasm. I don’t teach her much this year but apparently, she is frustrating David in his class with her attitude, which I think stems from her lack of understanding and then laziness for clarification. I can see that she is changing friends to those who complement that process. I found her quietly sitting this afternoon, bored, scrolling through her phone. Usually, she doesn’t let me talk to her for long but today I commented that she didn’t look happy and that she usually doesn’t look happy. She agreed and said that she was tired. I told her that inside her head she is smart and capable. She said she felt like she was stupid. I told her that wasn’t true and that I believed in her. She thanked me sincerely and I felt she really appreciated it.
And I could go on about conversations with Fah, Khet, Wipping, KanomBang etc etc today.
I’m lucky and grateful and so happy to play some small part in these kids’ lives.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
At last week’s science event my grade 10 students didn’t check out anything and just went somewhere to sleep for a couple of hours so today I set them a task to take ten photos each at the event. But then, as there was no art on display for them to take pictures of, there was nothing for them to do. I reluctantly told them not to worry about it as I couldn’t think of any other task for them and I was already in the middle of my coffee and planning. Of course, they were super happy to not have anything to do anyway and I had at least made sure that they hadn’t snuck off anywhere to sleep.
Something I learned today?
Ok, one last student story. Wipping called me her second father, jokingly buttering me up before holding out her hand, and asking me for money. I said that her father at home has money but her father at school doesn’t to which she replied ‘What father at home? Who is my father? I don’t know!’ Oops! She soon turned it around though saying ‘It’s ok, I don’t need a father. Just me and mum is fine and I’m a strong woman who can look after herself!’ Wow! I was so happy to hear this.
A couple of minutes later her male classmate Spain came over and shyly gave her twenty baht. I’m not sure if he had been listening to the conversation or not but I guess he likes her. She accepted his money and they went off and talked for a bit though I don’t know about what. When she came back she said she didn’t know why he gave her the money. Wipping, though, is always talking about a girl she likes in another class and after what she said about her father I can understand why she might prefer relationships with girls instead of boys. Never mind, Spain!
Today feels like I’m in the middle of a teenage gossip column!
I took this picture, damn, two weeks ago already, because this was the sourdough Nong Fon sent me. My mouth is watering just to look at it. Talking with Amy tonight she asked me what food I want to eat when I’m in Sydney and the first thing I thought of was sourdough toast with Vegemite. No pictures taken today.
Killing time still brings the crows A pile of shit still grows the rose Who will hold and stab the blade To break the contract freely made
To cut the cancer, counter pain To withhold freedom for general gain Sign the papers or travel far To find agreement to what we are
Today I’m feeling:
Much better than yesterday. Despite sleeping less than 7 hours I woke a little more motivated, did some exercise and told myself that I will do some lesson preparation to keep myself occupied in the morning.
I also wrote a message to Amy explaining how I was feeling over the weekend and we both are missing each other.
Took a full tablet of sertraline this morning. I know it can’t take effect immediately but the placebo effect can.
Today I’m grateful for:
The patient waitress at Lardna Aroi who understood what I wanted with my bad Thai and some translation help. I tipped her two baht to round up the bill to 100 baht. Last of the big spenders.
The best thing about today was:
An unexpected message from my student Earn in the class LINE saying that she missed me. I replied that I missed everyone too. It’s funny because usually if I try and talk to Earn at school she tells me to go away (in a non-serious way). Leaving this job one day will be super hard!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m still struggling with some small issues with my computer but I have some optimism that they will get sorted out with a bit more investigation and time. Nothing particularly stressful.
Something I learned today?
I saw a video this evening that indicated that Australia wouldn’t follow the US into war with China. This is a surprise, particularly after investing in submarines that would likely support a war effort. Something is going on behind the smoke and mirrors.
What makes me unique?
I want to be facetious in my answer. I am not unique at all. Yet, everyone is.
But in the spirit of the question….I don’t know. Perhaps it’s not for me to say but for others. It’s usually easy to say something like this about someone else rather than yourself. Why?
This is ridiculous, the more I think about it the less unique I become.
Someone working at Daytripper took this picture and then used it in one of their Facebook posts to promote that they were open. Free model, listening to Kishore Mahbubani talking about US-China relations, deep in thought. But this picture just makes me want to work off more of that back fat so that my shirts fit better.
1994ever 