*Notes – 3rd September 1998

Email with TLJ

S: Hey. Hope yr having a fine day. I’m still lost and gone in last night. Hope you can come along tonight after Patti Smith. Daevid Allen is tomorrow night. Me, I’m every night! (For you)
Shaunus the Menace

T: thanks for last night babe.

S: Anytime – you got it!

T: still lost with ya.

S: YYYYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

T: i still don’t know what my plans are for tonight, i may have to skip what is music and go tomorrow night instead,

S: OK – you take care getting home tonight though.

T: though i was still pretty keen to see Jad Fair and Daevid Allen.

S: Yeah, I think Jad Fair should be interesting but all the others will be good. Looking forward to Sportsbra who is Nick from Phlegm (I think).

T: Hum’s address is 81 oxford st. paddington,

S: I’ll meet you there although I’ll probably be late and may not be able to get in. I’ll meet you outside after it’s finished. If YOU can’t get in then I’ll meet you outside and maybe we’ll go get some dinner somewhere (cheap). Actually I could probably give you a lift to a station somewhere when you need to go home. WIM starts at 8(ish).

T: and ph 9331 xxxx for enquiries. I’m hoping to get there early. what time do you reckon you’ll leave what is music? tonight?

S: If you go whenever you want – if you don’t go then whenever I want! Probably late -just depends on how tired I am but I’ll try and see it all.

T: i was thinking i might get the new patti smith cd to see if i can get it signed. – but it’ll probably be too busy.

S: Good idea – tell her to say hello to Bob from me! (Have you heard the new Patti Smith though?) Toe to Toe covered Rock N Roll Nigger as an encore to their show at the Iron Duke recently. Great song.

T: write me what you’re doing buddy babe, tlj

S: Falling deeper and deeper in love!

*Work – 2nd September 1998

Email with TLJ

T: still at uni. mail me babe, need ya.
what are you doing this evening – more sitting on your balcony.

S: Not sure what time you sent this – I just got back from lunch (just went for a walk). Hope yr day is good. I guess I’ll be on the balcony – will probably clean the other two chairs and sweep up the bird seed (will have to get a feeder on the weekend I think) put away the clothes move the carpet and maybe organise it all a bit more feng shui. Care to join me? You are welcome anytime – what’s mine is yours OK! Was thinking I’d like to go back to Market City on the weekend – get some sago pudding maybe…can you make it – maybe go to What Is Music afterwards? What you think my love?

T: well, can’t get through to di’s mobile, and her home phone is busy, so may be able to see you tonight. only one prob – eric messed up my hair so it looks shit, and i took my wax out of my bag just this morning, so I’m really upset. i lost my spikes! maybe i can get some wax – and a massage at your place babe.
going to the library now, will be back soon and hopefully i can meet you in chatswood. give me a time and a place babe. or are you doing anything else tonight?

S: I’ll be here for you sweetheart. My machine is having a spazz at the moment so I may not be able to mail you again. I’ll fix your hair and give you a massage – no worries. Call me when you can. Love to you angel

*All right – 1st September 1998

Email with TLJ

S: Hey sweety I’m missing you and wanna make things good with you. Wanna know you’re all right with everything. Want you to know that I think you’re great, happy and full of life. (We all have our bad days – me particularly)
Love to you

T: you know what? whatever.
No only kidding – just knew that would piss you off.

S: Hang on – I’ve put my sense of humour down here somewhere….

T: Planning on going shopping with sue, di, and tu in about 1/2 an hour.

S: Window shopping I hope. Or a present for me of course.

T: josh asked if that guy on friday night was anything special,

S: Tell me the truth – is he?

T: and made a reference to Jack (whom he has heard a bit about from nat) – i think I said something bitchy though to cover up. anyway, he’s moving out with jay and joe to Newtown tomorrow. sue, di and tu asked if i wanted to go white water rafting in october – i’ll think about it, though it’s 90 dollars + you have to find transport (can get a lift with sue and di, or you wanna drop me? i think it’s at Shoalhaven or something).

S: You know I can drop you – can I come too – or is that a girl thing too (or a uni thing). I think I’d like to be in a dingy with three beautiful teenage girls (hang on I’m just going to the toilet).

T: Shaun also offered to pay for josh’s skydiving ticket!

S: OK – will he pay for me too? (and I’ll promise to be his friend)

T: no, things are good with me, i only wanted to spend the night together and really have fun – no worries or anything.

S: We’ll have a long hot bath – I’ll massage you and you can fall asleep in my arms.

T: di can’t make tomorrow girlie thing, so i may be able to see you.

S: Oh, but I’m seeing Di…oops! No no that would be cool. I look forward to it.

T: As well, i may try dropping around to marty’s party, or maybe even newtown to see triple J’s (get it) new house.

S: I can always drop you there too sweety.

T: Sunday’s out though, cause i may be getting together with di to work on IS & OD. and monday night, we may be having our girlie night (if mum lets me).

S: Oh well. If you can you can if you can’t you can’t – no sweat. You know I’ll be waiting for you.

T: anyway, what are your plans?

S: I might try and get a swim in this weekend actually – otherwise more work on the equipment and some noise plus comic reading and taking it easy.

T: love tlj
ps – i’m wearing his pants for her………….

S: Can I wear your pants…
Hope you get this – our mail server is fucked today

T: ok, so we didn’t get to go shopping but i’ll be going after the marketing lecture til 5, and then i’ll come see you at about 6pm at the physio.
we were talking instead and boy have i got some juicy goss to tell you! the best!
catch ya babe

*I hope – 31st August 1998

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T: we can see each other tonight and that would make us both feel better.
had an awful dream last night. They’re still looking for people to lab assist comp prac – or a subject similar to it. They want 9-1 on fri morning’s. If i could move my marketing principles tute, i could make it 2 hours, although i will miss out 1/2 hour of IS &OD either way! DAMN! and i’m in marketing principles with all my friends and we’re doing the group assignments together (sue, tu, di, me and jeff!)

S: Hey – I feel good anyway. Don’t you? I can make you feel better (I think!). Anyway – I hope I can see you too. Meet me at the physio as soon as you can – maybe we can go get a coffee somewhere? Sorry about your dream (Can I make it better?)
Cheer up Miss Blue – I’ll be here for you (no expectations no demands plenty of rope)

*Burning Lotus- 30th August 1998

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S: My heart aches for you
My heart yearns for you
My heart waits for you
My heart burns for you
My love
You have it all
My love
We have it all.

S: I feel like Albinocino at Milsons Point – let’s do it one day this week. Don’t forget Weds is Patti Smith.
Love to you

S: Was a beautiful night last night. Dropped the video back to Macquarie – the air was sharp and perfumed with warmth. Was great to be alive and despite the lateness of the evening, I was revitalised. Wished to share it with you. When I got home I sat on my balcony and read some and looked out into the darkness and felt safe, warm and happy. Thanks for being part of that (part of me).

T: K said “cool” when i gave her the jellybabies – they’re from Jack. she says thanks, and i’ve got a kiss to give you from her! she was really pleased with the jellybabies – didn’t even care she’s already got the sticker from the last pack.
anyway, how come you snubbed me by sending the What Is Music program to Notlih – behind my back? you guys do everything together now.
anyway, just had a shit time – i can’t find a partner for Distributed D/B and this guy i don’t think i could work with asked me to work with him. But i really don’t want to work with him – don’t think i’m being a bitch, but sue, di, and tu would say exactly the same thing – and the rest of BIT as well – but i really don’t think i could find another partner. so i’d
be really upset – i know you think i’m being a bitch, so i won’t say anymore.
anyway, got in early – so read a bit more of Fear and Loathing. had a real boring morning, cheer me up please baby.
had fun last night – thanks for everything. couldn’t have fun without you!
love ya babe, tlj

S: Hey babe. Just bin for a walk – not feeling 100% today. I saw Di was online last night but didn’t talk to her – hope she thinks you’re still OK. Do you think she was crying because of her and Trin (i hope it wasn’t because I knew). I hope you guys go OK today anyway.
I’m waiting for that kiss from K. I’ll send the program later – not sure if I still have a copy (did ANdrew forward it to you anyway?) I don’t think you’re being a bitch – why not just ask Chris – he’d drop any other partner to work with you I’m sure! Hope your morning is improving (din’t my mails cheer you up some?). Gotta get a bird feeder soon – i wanna clean up my balcony cos it was just beautiful out there last night.
Speak to me soon – I had the best time last night too – let’s do it again.

*Sorry baby – 28th August 1998

Email to TLJ

I’m sorry things didn’t go as you planned this lunchtime. It sure was great to see you though. You know I just thought that I can read the rest of my diary into the computer with that speech recog program. Will take a while though – may be able to write some other stuff this way too…

Just had the coconut drink I bought a while back – it was awesome. A taste sensation! Can’t get over how beautiful you are. You shine like a diamond for me sweety. All my love

*Party party – 26th August 1998

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S: Sweety, can you give me Ren’s number sometime so she can come over and have a look at this video equipment. When do you think I might get to meet Tom again too. He was gonna lend me Grateful Dead. Hope yr having a beautiful day. It would be much sweeter if you were here.

T: so you’re going to call her – or me? i’m sure she’ll wonder if you call her – and all my friends already think you’re a weirdo for mailing/icquing/ringing them out of the blue. you leave my friends out of this. joking babe.
good sleepy-pies to you, love and kisses, your fan Tracky-Dacks

S: You gonna explain about Saturday to me? I’ll call you anytime sweetheart. Do you think she will think it strange that I call her – do you wanna speak to her first? Have you spoken to Di – I haven’t heard from her since (whenever it was).
Oh, I’m still a weirdo I suppose. Look’s like the lab job may not happen – Damn.
Pash me baby

T: I’m really sorry about the lab job – truly. keep a look out though, cause i’m sure something will come up.
sorry babe, hope i can make you feel better – and i really do love you – 200% truthful.

S: It may still happen it’s just that Joe thinks they may be forced to take on two particular people – but it’s possible they may not want to take the job. We’ll have to wait and see. Something will come up – just gotta think positive. How’s Nat today? You do make me feel better – always. thanks

S: My masseur said she went to see that guitarist you went to see (I can’t remember his name – gregorian or something) She said she couldn’t enjoy it because he was trying too hard and didn’t look like he was enjoying himself – not until the encore did he relax.
Come massage me babe. I’m missing your tender hands.

T: i don’t know how hard it would be to relax playing as fast and as hard as he did – but i suppose a masseur would really notice those things. mail me babe, tlj

S: It was probably more that she couldn’t relax because she could feel that he wasn’t enjoying it because he had to work so hard? I’m missing you loads sweety. You still haven’t told me what’s happening Saturday. Are you going to Marty’s or to the girls? Explain me please – you gorgeous young filly!!!
We gotta catch up soon I’m dying for a hug!

*How was your night? – 21st August 1998

Email with TLJ

T: email me baby.

S: OK

T: i miss you.

S: When does your lecture start? You get all yr work done?

T: want to spend some time with you on the weekend – maybe go for a drive or picnic if it’s sunny,

S: Sounds good. let’s do it. Let’s go to the art gallery…

T: but i just remembered that i’m working on the next development task, and will probably be flat out.

S: Oh well. We got plenty of time ahead of us….

T: damn, hung out the clothes this morning and now it’s starting to get cold and rain! and i’ve only got a jumper and t-shirt on!

S: You need a cuddle? Come and get it.
Missing you too. Something I hoped to achieve at work today didn’t work. Damn. Shitting me.
Love ya too babes

T: i didn’t want to wake up this morning (apart from being tired)

S: Me too – I had to catch the train – i hate that.

T: because I was having a vivid and bizarre dream about andrew (from school).

S: why you no dreaming bout me….?

T: cause andrew’s cuter!

S: bbbllllleeeeeeeeuuuuuauuaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh! Me cuter!

T: He was cheating on his girlfriend with Aren!. ANd his girlfriend was this blond chick.

S: I think you got a thing about blonde chicks. I don’t.

T: no, i’ve got a thing about blonde himbos.

S: I’m dying my hair and going to the Gym.

T: Check out some of the lyrics to “summertime” “Romantic piscean seeks angel in disguise, Chinese speaking girlfriend
with big brown eyes”. Pretty cool huh?

S: Me like

T: but i don’t speak chinese, and i don’t have big brown eyes – so which chinese speaking girlfriend with big brown eyes are you talking about.

S: You are more beautiful than the most beautiful things in the world. You are the One!

T: also babe, i’m really sorry, but i may be busy saturday. Marty is having a party saturday night, and sue, di and tu want to get together for a girlie, movie night (not girlie-movie night!)

S: Well, that gives us all afternoon. I don’t unnerstand – Marty is having a party so you’re going somewhere else? I’ll come too – I’ll put on my skirt and lippie and pretend OK. Where’s it at?

T: and they want to watch some chick flicks – damn! exactly what is a chick flick? give me an example.

S: Beats me. Maybe Clueless or Sleepless in Seattle – shit I don’t know. Wanna take a copy of Apocalypse Now!

T: catch ya babe.

S: You better… And wish yr Dad a happy birthday.

T: he says thanks – he wants you to stop seeing his daughter as a b’day present. how bout it?

S: You heard him wrong – he knows what a great guy I am and asked me to marry you for his birthday. So how bout it. Seriously – do YOU want to stop me seeing you (sounds like it?) Don’t break my heart babe – I’m too far gone.

T: i just finished typing up the timesheets (but i haven’t got all of them from them laxzy fuckers!)

S: Kick butt sweety

T: yeah, yours

S: Like to see it. You can whip it anytime.

T: and printed out the minutes (huge waste of paper – i’m feeling guilty over it) and now i have to go meet the
data systems design people – damn. how come your mail comes with the header from your .csc.com.au account? just wondering.

S: Our Notes internet mail goes through that gateway now. CSC owns it now instead of Connect.

T: “well it’s you and me in the summertime, we’ll be hand and hand down in the park” can’t wait for summer, tlj

S: You’re driving me nuts – I can’t wait either. You better make plenty of time for me (cos I’m a demanding sonova…)

T: Is that because of the insanely fast way i think and converse, and you can’t keep up with me? or what?

S: No it’s cos of yr gorgeous body. All my lovely love
PS My night was cool – I fell straight to sleep (after dreaming bout you)

T: thanks babe, tlj

S: Do you love me?

*Sunshine – 20th August 1998

Email with TLJ

S: Sweetheart. Sorry I couldn’t talk earlier – too many people around. I’m real tired too. Gotta clean out my car tonight – first time for everything. I feel good for not drinking you know! Still feel like a Gin and Tonic though. Miss you – love ya baby.
Shauny

T: i’m in at uni already – i should work more on the report, but i’m not really sure what they want. Anyway, about my dream. I think we were at sean’s place with lisa and craig and this other couple and one more guy.
Anyway, we were just sitting around talking but i think i had to go somewhere. You kept kissing me and i felt a bit uncomfortable about that. Anway, when i came back i invited everyone to your place for your birthday and said we could have cheese rolls and salad – and whatever else you vegetarians eat! but i’m not really sure if your friends wanted to come, so i was a bit embarassed after that. what do you think it means?

S: This simply means you love me and want my children – which is understandable of course. You always get some food into your dreams, don’t you?

T: on my wallpaper now, i have a beautiful picture of jeff buckley. It says
“Jeff Buckley – A heart full of Music A soul filled with Grace. We will miss you”. A bit corny maybe, but a beautiful sentiment.

S: What – no picture of me? I have some scanned pictures of me – should I send them to you – you can view jpegs right? I can’t find my photos of us together – I wanna get a picture of you and play with it! Bring me some photos will you (oh, I just remembered where they are!)

T: Anyway, i don’t know if our data systems design is right – i found some mistakes last night but was too tired to think. Anyway, may get back to it.

S: You’re one smart cookie – hope you can fix it up. How are the other groups going?

T :Are you still going for a massage? tell me about your day – hope it’s good.

S: Really want a massage so I’m gonna hafta borrow some cash off my mum and pqay it back when I get paid. the day’s OK – but my wrists are sore and my neck is sore and my feet smell. If you wanna meet me at the physio tonight I can drop you home. Otherwise I’ll call you later tonight – don’t forget South Park. Hope your day is good too sweety. Man the summer sun sure is inspiring.

T: Love you babe, tlj

S: You too angel
“If you found everyone responsible, and hung them from the highest trees – would you have enough trees?”

T: would love to meet you at the physio now i know where it is. anyway, don’t think i’d like you “playing” with photos of me, so no – i won’t show you any.

S: Yeah, but now I remember where the photos are that I have already – expect a physically altered tracca soon! I could make you look beautiful! (how could you be more beautiful..?)

T: If it’s going to be too hard to meet me, don’t bother.

S: It’s easy for me cos I’ll be laid down getting treatment – it’s only if it’s easy for you.

T: Otherwise, give me a time and a place.

S: Right here – right now baby!

T: went to john colville to get a reference from comp prac, but i never see him around and it’s so late in the semester.

S: Keep hassling – mail him – do whatever…

T: mail me please.

S: I’ll think about it.

T: 5:45 – 6pm at the physio? meet you there – that ok with you?

S: Yes – meet me there.

T: getting a bit of a headache.

S: Want me to rub yr temples?

T: dad gave me $50 to get the rest of my textbooks, but i gave it back cause i didn’t want to carry it around. now i’m afraid he’ll gamble it all.

S: Bye bye fifty dollars…

T: anyway, we’re not celebrating dad’s birthday this friday or wednesday, or ever i suppose, because he wants to go the casino on Friday with his friends and relos etc. anyway, what are you planning?

S: Seeing you of course!!

T: maybe i could see you if we’re both free.

S: Yeah sure – we have to do something that doesn’t cost too much though – sorry – I gotta look after the pennies for a little while. so we can have a big summer together!)

T: was speaking to caroline and mel about the project. caroline’s boyfriend only gets to see her on the weekend just about, so he’s pretty sick of her working on the weekends. I told them i wanted to go to the art gallery with my friend because he wanted to see the japanese art exhibition. i’ll see if i can get out next weekend, but i might be having a violin lesson (i didn’t have one saturday, since he was bogged down in ballarat) and i think it’s father’s day on sunday – i’m not sure though. but maybe you should go if I’m busy.

S: No no – we go together!!!

T: how are you celebrating father’s day baby?

S: With you?

T: thanks for going shopping with me yesterday. You made me feel good about buying the dress.

S: It was fun. You looked beautiful in the dress – let me tell you.

T: see ya maybe this afternoon? tlj

S: Absorutery, Shaun