Tag: End on End

Old MacDonald Got AI – 15th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

God took six days to do
What can now be done
In a minute
At the push of a button
A simple prompt
A new world may be created
Everything for that we strived
Made faster and easier
And with it, the artist dies
Along with their struggle
How to know something is good?
It must be a piece of you
A chuck of the pain
That gave birth
No more the imagination
Your future automated
*A boundless machine
Of artistic demoralisation*

inspired and pilfered from the Red Hand Files and *Nick Cave directly

Today I’m feeling:

Unsure yet. I guess I’m relaxed. Just a little soft around the edges, not quite in focus.

At midday, my mojo is returning after three hours of catching up on writing and some reading.

And then….(see further below)

Today I’m grateful for:

The medicine that has helped Tigger overcome his fever and infection. I wasn’t particularly worried about Tig but I also remembered not being too worried about Kim when she was sick too. Sometimes, when Amy is being cautious, it’s best to follow her lead, just in case.

The best thing about today was:

Coffee. And having a few hours spare to read and write but more importantly to get my brain back in the game. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In my final class of the day, I lost my patience with one student who was being obnoxious to me. I took his phone and later gave it to his homeroom teacher. He didn’t even seem to care that much. 

It’s a shame as I have previously gotten on well with that student. I can guess that something was going on with him but still…..

Sometimes the disrespect gets to me.

6th Nov 2023 – Only three months later and I only have a vague memory of this happening and can’t recall who it was! I think that’s good. No grudges held.

Something I learned today?

Tigger’s infection is all good now, though because of the medicine he had been taking his kidney function levels are a little high. Another week without medicine before another blood test which hopefully gives the all-clear.

How would I describe where I am right now?

I think if I told my friends just the word ‘Thailand’, that would trigger their imaginations to understand where I am right now. I know that I’m living a lucky life. Despite minor stresses, I’m feeling content and almost at peace.

How did I embrace uncertainty?

I’ve been looking at this question for several days.  I feel that my life is reasonably certain and has been for a long time. In times when I did feel uncertain it was purely internal thoughts rather than some circumstance.

Both times I moved countries I didn’t feel uncertainty really, though I guess that means that I did embrace it. How did I do that? Perhaps by positivity. Perhaps by ignorance. 

As I’ve gotten older I’ve understood that no matter what happens or is happening, things will be okay. Sometimes you just have to go through shit. I do wish I could’ve worked that out when I was younger as it would have saved me a lot of trouble and stress at that time.

What is an unusual fact about me?

I was listening to the End On End podcast with the High Back Chairs and one of them was talking about his collection of German military uniforms from 1880-1918. It reminded me that no matter what you may know people for they can always surprise you with something unusual. 

I guess I have an unusual amount of CDs featuring unusual music but because of the circles I run in that doesn’t seem particularly unusual to me but may be to others.

Perhaps something I find unusual about myself is the variety of work that I’ve done over the years. Ugh, even that doesn’t seem particularly unusual though.

Am I.… am I normal? What’s wrong with that? I don’t want to be normal. I know that no one is normal but I would hate for someone to think of me as normal!

Quote: I quote others in order to better myself – Montaigne

Sometimes a good quote captures your imagination and consolidates ideas into a sentence or two. Most of the quotes I enjoy are positive but I also dig the backhanded sarcastic and ironic type of quote when it is clearly obvious its intention.

I wish I could remember good quotes though and be able to use them in conversation. That would make me appear smart. Perhaps that is vanity but it’s true, I would like to appear smart at least. Because I don’t feel smart at all. Can I fool myself?

Teacher’s Lament – 31st January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t be angry with me
I know you don’t see it
But I’m trying to steer you
In the right direction
I know you’re upset
Your fun was curtailed
But I’m trying to guide you
Towards self-correction

You’ll see it one day
Long after I’m gone
It will be you
With wise words to pass on

22nd Oct 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – correct

Today I’m feeling:

A little frustrated at first but ok now. Happy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Dr Arnon for giving me medicine and cleaning spray for Tigger’s skin problem without me having to take him in. Putting the spray on today though I can see one of the wounds on his head is big and deep, with the scab coming away. I just hope the antibiotics stop him from getting infected and it can heal quickly, otherwise, it will be another trip back for Tig.

The best thing about today was:

The very cold reception I got from my class of truants from yesterday and then as they slowly understood the work they needed to do and then have to read for me and as they did it, sometimes laughing at their mistakes and finally showing some pride at their ability to do it. They are smart kids just choosing not to be.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This morning the students were kept late at assembly and straggled into class with many things on their minds except studying. This class (1/6) has broken up into little groups that distract themselves constantly so that today no one was listening. Frustrated, I just let them leave, considering other ways or things I can teach them. Speaking with their head student though she said it’s like that in every other class too. I have a plan for tomorrow but after that… I don’t know. I do hope we get better levels of students next year or I will have to continue dumbing things down even further.

And, on top of that, the reason they were kept late was that they were being told about next week which, I just found out, is scout week! Another whole week of no classes! Any possible momentum to get going after sports week, lost again!

Something I learned today?

Luckily the thing I was trying to remember yesterday was brought back to mind today as it was whilst I was listening to the End On End podcast talking about the Autoclave record and the track Hotspur. One of the hosts mentioned that Hotspur was the name of a character in a Shakespeare play (I forget which) and just word Hotspur reminds me of one of Rik Mayall’s outrageous characters in the Black Adder. I hope to find some books of Shakespeares’ plays with cliff notes to help me understand it all. I have one on the shelf already but it’s not really at the top of the pile yet.

What is something I want to do for myself in the coming year?
Lose fat.

I took this picture because it’s not often that Tigger is close to Cap or Kim.

Ode To The Fayre – 19th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Looking for a slice of peace
In a world going ever mad
Jumping off the bus for release
The best time those dogs ever had

Searching for a space to shit
Was as bad as it ever did get
Dug a hole with a plank to sit
Then the whole weekend was set

Finding the best breakfast of eggs
Followed by donuts and beer
With spliffs and acid, losing legs
And facing the future without fear

As the worms had turned
And rats scurried all around
Watching on as Babylon burned
Celebrating this destruction in sound

inspired by reading old accounts of Treworgey Tree Fayre in 1989

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and relaxed

Today I’m grateful for:

The primary kids having sports day today. Knowing my own students wouldn’t be interested in studying today I quickly thought to organise them into groups and sent them off to the stadium and set them a task to do a quick interview with all the teachers. It gave the kids a break and a bit of fun at the same time. They did it really quickly and I gave them the rest of the class off. There are probably only six weeks of classes left and even they will be heavily disrupted. Half the kids have given up already, it’s just one big playtime.

The best thing about today was:

As mentioned above, the change of scene for the kids was also good for me. I had a lot of fun too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Arriving at school to find the road blocked off and getting stuck in traffic felt a little annoying but my first class started at 10 so I wasn’t really in a hurry (just to get to that first coffee really!). I didn’t know what event was going on but then I saw all the primary kids and asked John and he told me it was their sports day which triggered the idea for my classes. There was another school sports day going on too as well as some other event for older folks dancing and singing out in the middle of one of the football fields.

Something I learned today?

Mission of Burma are one of my favourite bands and whilst listening to the End On End Dischord podcast heard mention of another podcast with all three members discussing their first album so I listened to some of that today which was immensely interesting to me. One major thing I didn’t know was that Clint Conley went into rehab just after recording that album back in 1982. This is minor trivia but because it is music that has such a deep connection with me it interests me a lot. If I learned anything completely life-changing today I’m sure it would’ve stood out.

What gives you energy?

I was just thinking today that I feel more energetic if I exercise more. Breaking out of lethargy is a battle that has a good reward. Other stimulants give me energy from medicines, drugs, drinks or food but they all have some downsides too. I also feel more energetic when there are things which I have to get done. When there’s little to do I end up doing little.

I took this picture because Tangmo didn’t come when I got home but about an hour later I found him here relaxing outside our door. He didn’t smell too bad today. Just like a dog rather than his usual smell of garbage and dirty water!