Tag: exercise

The Primal Egg – 25th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When you are walking towards your maker
Be prepared with the biggest machine gun
Point it right between their eyes
And ask them first, ‘What have I done?’

Ask your questions, demanding proof
Let there be no pulling of the leg
Your maker may only pronounce the truth
‘What came first, the chicken or the egg?’

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good but a little tired despite sleeping quite well. 

I can feel my muscles aching from the exercising that I’ve been doing.  Not just aching but feels like them splitting and dividing under my skin.  It’s a tolerable pain that indicates growth, at least to my monkey brain.  It doesn’t feel like an injury though my right shoulder is still definitely injured.  I need to find some exercises where I can still use my arms and chest without injuring the shoulder further.  I adapted my normal arms workout this morning to compensate and that went ok.

Today I’m grateful for:

Bronwyn sending me some old photos of me, my mum and my dad.  These are pictures that my mum had and I had seen from time to time in my youth. 

They were passed onto Bronwyn to leave for Hayden in the future but I’m glad to see them again. 

I also found out that there was a book that my mum wrote quotes and poetry in and I’m interested to see that at some point.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching the new grade 10 class and describing what would happen in real life if they failed to do the work that they are employed to do, just as some students did last week for my class work when I wasn’t there and assigned them something to do in my absence. 

I described our classroom as the place of employment, myself as the boss and them as the employees.  I showed them on the board that I was promoting some of my employees and demoting others and that in our classroom this would be indicated by grades. 

Everyone started at grade 2 (in the middle) but the students who did my work are now at grade 3 whilst those that didn’t are now at grade 1.  This certainly got everyone’s attention.  I told them that in a real-life work situation, they would likely no longer have a job!

I really enjoyed explaining this and I could see the satisfaction on the newly promoted students faces.  All they had to do was what was asked and they’ve been rewarded.  I feel like there was some real learning happening and it made me happy to see.  I kept the mood light throughout all this but they understood the ramifications of their actions.

In the second act of synchronicity for the day, I read this in an online newsletter and messaged the class to discuss its meaning:

“’I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday’”

Even writing this is making me feel somewhat smug! Haha.

Something I learned today?

There’s an ant species that’s unique to New York City, known as the ManhattAnt.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I’ve been trying to get Baipad to describe her own personality to me because she described her cousin’s personality as similar to her own but she could only answer with ‘you already know.’  I tried to explain that we see ourselves differently from how others see us. 

This morning I sat down with her and Jan, with Apple sitting opposite and I said, ‘Come on, let’s play a game.  Here’s a list of adjectives, pick ten that describe Apple and we had fun doing that for ten minutes.  As I left I told them that tomorrow we will do the same for Jan.  And at the weekend I will ask Baipad again to see if she can answer for herself.

I sat with one of my poor grade 7 students (Nut) in class this morning and helped her a lot with trying to understand the text we were reading and how to answer the questions.  Some days she is ok to accept my help and today was one of those.  When I went to help others she pulled me back to finishing helping her first.  I was glad to see this and I think she was glad of my help.  She will never be a great English speaker but she is doing all that I ask of her.

I sent a message to JubJib reminding her that perfection is a myth.  She happily admits to requiring perfection from herself.

What do I need to embrace about myself?

I’ve become more accepting of my own foibles as I’ve aged.  As a sign of maturity, I don’t tend to do things that I wish I hadn’t any more.  I’m equating embracing and acceptance here but they feel quite comparable at this age.  I am happy with myself and understand myself very well.  I know my weaknesses and attempt to improve them slowly without punishing myself.

Where do I hope to be one year from now?

This is an interesting question for me this time as I feel a little in limbo.  I am very happy where I am but also considering where do I go from here?

I could quite comfortably maintain my life the way it is.  I have no real goals to aim for these days, just continuous improvement.  This feels possible due to stability and not having to deal with other stresses that come with the pursuit of new things.

In this way, I’m quite happy to defer to Amy’s ideas about what she wants in the future.  That may be a big shock when it comes time for action though, this I know.

Should I have a specific goal for this coming year?  I don’t feel particularly ambitious.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 5. Exercise Daily. I didn’t get this until recently. A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. If you can’t build a healthy and strong body, what CAN you build in life?

I was quite athletic as a child, particularly loving football but once I discovered booze and cigarettes that all slowly went downhill.

Since finally being mostly free of those vices I have started exercising and by doing it first thing in the morning I’ve been able to slowly introduce and lengthen the time spent doing it as I also slowly started to feel the benefits.

Previously I would consistently make the mistake of overdoing the exercise when I would feel the need to get back into it.  It’s a mistake probably 80% of us make.

But as I was reading more about developing habits and starting small and as I’ve been teaching my kids about doing things little by little, that idea has slowly slipped into my own brain to find a better way.

Perhaps when I was younger I didn’t want to admit that I was aging.  As it took many years to develop this beer belly I’ve accepted that it will take many years to lose it too.

Again, as synchronicity goes, I also just read this:

“The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, being more productive, and achieving success is understanding how habits work.” – Charles Duhigg

I took this picture last week because I was fascinated by the symmetry of this freshly sprouted pineapple. No new pictures today.

Two Whispers – 23rd January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Where the light turned to dust
Silence remains
When two became none

Where the light became air
Extinguished flames
Await the rising sun

Where the light turns to the sky
Who prays
And in their solitude sit?

Where the light falls west
Who stays
To watch the candles lit?

Submitted to #WDYS

Today I’m feeling:

Good and positive again. I can feel that I have a better attitude and more energy in the days that I exercise in the morning and that I should also force myself to do this on weekends and holidays as I often just fall into laziness then.

Today I’m grateful for:

The little female (age indefinable) petrol pump assistant who double-checked what I wanted and then, after filling the car,  gave me two bottles of water. She tried to explain about the water but I didn’t understand. I just assumed that they were free!

The best thing about today was:

Taking time with a couple of my troublesome students this afternoon and helping them get a better idea of a grammar point. I felt relief and joy when they started getting the answers right by themselves. I even managed to get a smile out of one of them.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My first class today with grade 8s was a little wearisome. Some days it feels like they just insist on not learning. I stayed relatively calm but inside I feel a little tired and deflated from it.

Something I learned today?

The single most expensive item for the British in the American Civil War was rum.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

We went to the temple again for some follow-up Buddhist things for Grandmum. I did as was directed though wasn’t sure about any of what was happening. In the end, we served monks food and everyone (except me) at lunch too.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
3. Spend Time with People You Love. That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one. Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life.

My tribe is my family these days. I’m not particularly close to anyone except for Amy and I’m fine with that. If I ever need to make new relationships they will come naturally from within my tribe. 

The internet definitely has made things easier to stay in contact with my tribe, who are scattered all around the world.

Whilst the ease of communication keeps us together, our tribe survives apart.

The Retreat – 17th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Shacked up with a slacker
Who said our gold was in the hills
A guitar strapped to his back
To sing of other people’s thrills

The words are spat with bitterness
The war is raging in his head
But anger without direction
Is replaced by apathy instead

The party starts at home
With our disaffected friends
With the battle in our songs
Forgotten when it ends

Stirred into one final action
When the pipe of peace got broke
Understanding that our pain
Is only countered by the smoke

So it was, we came and went
We conquered nothing at all
We disappeared without a trace
Into the bottom of the bowl

Nearer heaven we rested heads
Too tired to take our chance
Extinguished, all those little fires
Where we no longer dance

inspired by ‘The Slacker’ in Zachary Mexico’s book China Underground

Today I’m feeling:

A little better again though still not quite right in the sinuses. Exercise got me going and I felt in a good mood for the whole day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The vegetarian food from Oasis and dessert snacks from the snack shop. Hopefully, there are snack boxes left over again tonight.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching my grade 10 class again. It’s a good feeling to have more mature students who try and want to understand more.

It did get me feeling a little like asking to spread out the classes between the foreign teachers so that not all the juniors are dumped on me and David. I know asking this is going to upset George though as he refuses to teach the younger ones, but it feels a little unfair not to split them more evenly.

I would be less tired at the end of the week and David is always talking of quitting because of the stress of his junior classes. I love those kids but I also value my health.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another day of going with the flow mostly.

Something I learned today?

As I teach my grade 10s about relationships I’m learning a little about each of them and their personalities. Toon told me she is a people pleaser whilst Milk doesn’t care if a boy is interested in her. They joked that between them they make a balanced human being.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave some leftover snacks from last night’s ceremony to some students this morning.

I drove Amy and me home and back to the city to pick up snack boxes and food for tonight’s ceremony.

I took this picture because Tokyo was pretty relaxed. I still have to be very careful with her though. She can bite really quickly and with no apparent provocation.

Contrarian Outlaws – 12th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Who are we gonna stick it to
When we can’t stick it to the man?
We’d rather choose not to be happy
Because we know that’s what we can

When the world is contented
Where can we direct our rage?
There’s got to be something to fight
Some violence in which to engage

We’re not searching for paradise
Because anger is all we’ve known
We’re the contrarian outlaws
Of the world in which we’ve grown

Today I’m feeling:

A little better than yesterday.  My sore throat has abated somewhat though I feel a little blocked in the nose.  I struggled through the third abs exercise for the week but can feel it having some positive effect on posture and general health.

Today I’m grateful for:

No longer being in the UK.  I watched a video today of someone interviewing people around Glastonbury and despite some ‘characters’ there they mostly seemed paranoid or depressed.  And this was whilst they were commenting how much better than the rest of the country Glastonbury was.

The best thing about today was:

Updating some 1994 entries with STE Bulletin writing which brought back some interesting memories or more preciously, reminded me of things which I had since forgotten. 

I was glad of the phone functionality to be able to scan and convert text through the camera as it saved me a ton of time though still filled up most of my four-hour break.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Two of my annoying students pushed me too far this morning though I didn’t get particularly angry with them.  I did carry through my threat to take points off them in the SchoolBright system though.  One of them was particularly upset when they found out I wasn’t joking but I have had enough of their continual disrespect and disruptions in the class.

Something I learned today?

I came across an advert for a Netflix series of the Three Body Problem.  I can imagine that it may be a travesty compared to the books and the trailer looked interesting but not quite right.  Checking a little more though I found that there had been a Chinese TV series made that actually followed the books well.  Chinese TV series can also seem a little ’not quite right’ too though.

I then found that the first two episodes are free to watch online so I’ll check those out and see if it’s worth searching for the rest.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I tipped the pineapple seller 10 baht which shocked her. She was very grateful and gave me a big smile.

I comforted Nicha who was crying this morning though she wouldn’t say why.  Thankfully, she was happy and dancing by the end of the day.

I took this picture because when I showed Jet the picture that Ploy drew of me she instantly said ‘That’s not you. Wait, I’ll draw you.’ A couple of minutes later she presented me with this!

Utopia Around The Corner – 10th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We should be living in a paradise by now
Yet wrapped in realities that ground our flight
Utopia hides, beyond the hillside brow
Amidst the chaos, in a darkened night

Around the corner, this dream quietly shines
A realm where peace sings a hopeful tune
Utopia beckons and yet this hope reminds
The journey will not be completed soon

In that elusive place, worries disband,
A sanctuary where souls find their rest,
Utopia calls from its promised land,
An oasis waiting, only found in death

Today I’m feeling:

Not too bad considering I woke up wanting to sleep more.  The abs exercises hurt as I was doing them and I can feel all the work that the muscles around the rest of my body had to do because my abs are still weak.  I’m now pretty convinced that my weak abs and connections to the hips are the cause of most of my body stress/weakness, down to my calves and up to my neck.  Slowly slowly.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Downy fabric spray that is trying to counter the smell of cat spray on the sofa and isn’t quite succeeding.

The best thing about today was:

My grade 10 class who were interested in learning, in the topic and discussing it as best as they could in English but mostly in Thai.  Having a keen, attentive class is a joy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday I got a message that today was a meeting for the foreign teachers to meet with the director but I sent a message to Kru Tang saying that I had class at that time and she was fine with that.

Later I got an assuming message from Nancy saying that it was a bit sad that I didn’t go and that I felt differently to the team!  FFS!

I told her that I had planned my lessons and that this one was quite important for my students this time and that if it was a different class then it might have been possible.  There was no reply after that.

That has upset me a little but I’m happy knowing that I’m doing the right thing for my students.

Something I learned today?

Today is Nomsen’s birthday.  Every day seems to be someone’s birthday.  Nomsen told me that she turns 14 but I’m not sure if she was counting correctly as another student in the grade above told me it was her 14th birthday today.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I comforted little Nicha who got reprimanded yesterday for having earphones in during class yesterday.  Instead of just being asked to take them out the teacher made a big deal of it and if she gets in any more trouble they’ll kick her out of school.  That seems a bit harsh considering what some of the other kids get up to.  Understandably she was a bit down.

I started my lessons on relationships for the grade 10s as Toon in that class requested it.  I made them Thai translations so that they could understand better the meaning behind the content.  In this case, I found that I wanted their understanding more than just using English.  Toon said she was happy with the lesson, so I’m glad about that too.

Tonaor reminded me that yesterday I told her I would give her a candy today. She caught me just as I was about to leave and I honoured my word, went to the car to get another candy and gave it to her. She was happy.

I took this picture because, for some reason as I approached the hospital to get some medicine, I was impressed by its stature. I’ve been here many times and not thought much about how it looks. Perhaps it was because it was approaching golden hour and the air turns a special colour.

Clear Away The Clouds – 5th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Live to sleep, to inject death
Into every day and forever keep
A dying breath along the way

Your body goes, follows the mind
There’s no return, God only knows
You cannot find, cannot learn

Clear the clouds, your time is fixed
Give it worth and raise the shrouds
Before you’re nixed from this earth

inspired by a quote from Marcus Aurelius

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired but in a good mood.  I’ve been waking up before my alarm quite often which is a little annoying as I know I’m not getting quite enough good sleep.  This morning as I was dozing and waiting for my alarm to go off I wondered if it was because I was excited to exercise.  That was quite an interesting thought for me. 

I moved on to Intermediate leg exercises this morning and got through it pretty easily.  I don’t think I can move up to Intermediate arm exercises yet though.  I still don’t have the strength in my back, shoulders and arms yet and I’m still waiting for my right shoulder to fully recover before getting back into even the Basic exercises that I normally do.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the drivers that let me cut into their queues so that I could get to work a little quicker this morning (actually every work morning!).  Traffic is getting busier and busier along the bypass now and the dumb traffic light systems they have in place frustrate everybody. 

Anyway, I will let people in when I am in a similar situation and see other folks being in a hurry.

The best thing about today was:

Getting paid!  But now I have to be really careful with the reduced payment again this month.

Can I stick to no more than two coffees a day and nix the third that I have every other day or so? Buy less snacks, no candy for the kids, no meat sticks for the pups….?

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As soon as I got paid I settled my account with Gui at House.  That was just over 1000 baht! Gah! 

He has offered to let me pay once a week before but I told him I didn’t want to do that because I can fool myself by only paying 130 baht a day, convinced that that amount is acceptable.  But seeing 1000 baht a week…..that I can’t rationalise!

Something I learned today?

Today was Baitoey’s birthday.  I only taught her a little bit last year and she was quite quiet in class but she is always friendly and playful with me since then.  I gave her 5 baht as a gift because that was the only money I had in my wallet!  My last 5 baht!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

My old student Noah was complaining about T. David this morning and then in the afternoon, after they had a class together T. David complained about Noah and her attitude.  So I thought I would message her and see what the story was. 

She said she has given up in his class because he goes too fast and she doesn’t understand.  When she told me that other students do understand I encouraged her to ask them for help (though I know she has struggled to make good friends in this class).  I told her not to give up and that I will help encourage her as much as I can.

Kru Ning talked to me a little after our classes about some of the grade 7 students we share as they sometimes don’t show up to her class, or do little or nothing whilst there. I confirmed that they were a little difficult to get motivated and gave her my suggestions though I struggle with them too. 

It was nice to actually have a Thai teacher ask my opinion, or for my help, with our students.  I guess usually they don’t because perhaps they don’t want to admit that they are in that situation or admit that perhaps a foreigner might have another angle or useful idea.

I took this picture because when I got home I found a package from Ryu in Tokyo with his Stacked State CDs and t-shirt plus his solo CDs. I will listen to them tomorrow. A weekend of furious fastcore.

Stupid Delusion – 1st January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

No longer intoxicated
Awoken from my dreams
Meaning was a delusion
A stupid delusion it seems

Yeah, happy new year!

Today I’m feeling:

Happily lazy again.  I ate lots and did little over these last 4 days and it’s been a good wind down to the end of the year.  Tomorrow it’s back to exercise, work and reality. I plan to just do abs and legs this week to try and get the ache out of my shoulders before working on any upper body exercises again.  I’m stiff from sitting and laying down so much recently too!

Today I’m grateful for:

The internet, YouTube, the BBC, John Peel and Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 whose John Peel Session I have just found and listening to as I’m writing this.  Excellent!

The best thing about today was:

Finishing the excellent John Cooper Clarke biography.  It feels good to finish reading a book on the first day of the year.

Also releasing the SpeechOdd/HighxVoltage album for pre-order through Bandcamp today which got a few folks interested.  It feels good to have a record release on the first day of the year.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There wasn’t much to be done today, lots I could’ve done but decided not to, so there was little to get out of control.

Perhaps I could say that though I was happy to play a little guitar this afternoon I was also really bad at it. Just missing a few days sets me back. And then after watching some Thinking Fellars live footage I marvel at the genius of their guitar interplay and wonder if I could ever become as skilled as they are. It’s half inspiring, half frustrating. What a great band. I fucking hate popular music – what a waste of skill!

Something I learned today?

I came across an interview with a YouTuber I follow called Nathan Rich titled Scientology, Punk Rock and Addiction.  Wild!  I know him for his investigative journalism opposing the Western anti-China narratives.  Life is long and varied and I’m looking forward to watching this and learning more about his past.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I made Amy’s bed for her without being asked.

I cleared as many hairy worms as I could find around the hose and drowned them all in a bucket.  All this was in an effort to stop Amy’s allergy to them which makes her itchy and brings her out in a rash.  Somehow I’m not affected by them.

A close member of your family has committed murder. Would you keep quiet about it? What might your silence depend upon?

No way.  The circumstances of the event may have an effect on my attitude towards them but covering it up would be out of the question.

Write a message to myself to be reviewed one year from today.

Why? Everything I write here is up for review at any point in time. Review that.

Art took this picture a few weeks ago on his trip up to Mae Hong Son. I saw it on his Facebook page and it jumped out at me with its magnificent misty morning glow. No new pictures today.

Haunted By The Living – 27th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

She’s forever standing next to me
Begging me with bitter sad smiles
Everywhere I turn, the memory
Kept as treasure in my mind’s files

She’s out there still, ten thousand miles away
Taunting me with her continued silence
I only wish that there was something to say
To return her back to this lonely island

Some parade photos. Students and teachers had been at school all night preparing costumes and make-up. What a palaver, my mum would say.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good and looking forward to the sports day event so that when I got to school I surveyed the parade for all my students, many of whom were difficult to spot as they were dressed up so fancily that I couldn’t recognise them at all! 

I slept badly because of my aching shoulder and woke many times laying on my back and when Amy didn’t stir after I exercised I shook her foot and she complained of lack of sleep too due to my snoring.  It’s possible the exercises I’m doing are aggravating my shoulder too much and it is not recovering from whatever stress or strain that I have given it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kwang, Premier and Program again.  I spotted them in the parade and they grabbed me and insisted I walk with them which I did for a little while.  As Premier and Program let go, Kwang still held on and out of the blue said quietly ‘I miss my dad.’ Sigh.

The best thing about today was:

The feeling of excitement and happiness in the whole school celebrating sports day.  In the past, I’ve usually left after an hour or so and gone home but this time, with an hour and a half break at House I stayed until around 2.15pm. 

I was on my way to leave at around midday but got sucked back into staying and ended up trying to find Funfai whilst other students dragged me around to watch all the team’s cheerleader routines, partly because I had an umbrella they could shelter under.

Something I learned today?

Listening to the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast today, they were interviewing Chris Shary who is an artist that works with The Descendents and All.  What was interesting was how he was a high schooler in Ipswich, UK and hung around with the Stupids, even singing with them near the end of their run.  Pretty much useless information but of a little interest to me in discovering more about how everything is interconnected in our little weird music world.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Congratulating everyone who had dressed up for the day.  Encouraging others to cheer and do their best in their competitions. Commiserating with the few who were bored or cold whilst waiting for things to get going.

What was the biggest risk I took this year?

Lending $1600 to Ad Interim so that they could get their album made.  I only knew Max through acquaintance but I liked the band’s music and made the deal for repayment within 12 months and he was good enough to get it paid off within three or four months.  I’m happy to work with people like this.  I can’t offer a lot when it comes to marketing and distribution but can at least support artists with funds for production.

Do you think that most people are doing the best they can?

I borrowed this question from The Red Hand Files where Nick Cave simply replied with the answer ‘No’ which surprised me a little and made me consider why he replied that way.

Even though it seems that there is only tragedy in the world and so many bad people acting in bad ways when I look around my own personal environment I believe most people are doing the best they can.

We can all do better, and all try harder, I guess (maybe that is why Nick Cave answered no to the question) but here, for many people, they are still struggling to get by.

Maybe it’s the difference between living in a first-world country and a third-world one.  Maybe in a first-world one, we expect more of each other and in the third-world folks are doing the best they can in the circumstances.

Bebe took this picture because she grabbed my phone and I just let her take as many pictures as she wanted. I like this one the best because Baibua has a big smile which she doesn’t usually show for me. Namfon, in the middle, has become a favourite student of mine because although we both know she may never be good at English she will now try her best and that is the main lesson to learn. Bebe is on a similar trajectory but still gets very distracted in class, though usually in a way that cracks me up. It’s hard to assert authority when you are laughing so much yourself.

Maybe It’s A Madness – 21st December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Staring at the TV static
Hearing the song of the dishwasher
Hidden messages reveal themselves
To those who listen closer

The stars whisper in the wind
Words that make the shapes
Colours taste of iron and gold
The myth perpetuates

Maybe it’s a madness
But someone must be chosen
As the alien messenger
The guide for the gods

Today I’m feeling:

Definitely tired again and not from lack of sleep.  Still waiting to get over the hump of exhaustion brought on by exercise.  Thankfully just the one class in the morning today and I spent til midday running around to get documents together for my work permit again before heading home and a catch up nap.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nancy again, as I asked if she could get the medical certificate I needed for me again, like she did last time.  Otherwise it means me either waiting around or going back to the city after 6pm and the last time I did that the clinic didn’t even open.  Happily, she agreed.

The best thing about today was:

A third coffee at 22 Grams, after a couple earlier at House. It tasted delicious and spurred me to action to make some easy Quizizz for my classes tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been trying to push my student Baipad to become more confident and independent but I can see now that she is not yet mature enough and is somewhat comfortable despite her frustrations.

I get it, at 14, we want independence AND everything handed to us on a plate. Sooner or later a rude shock awakens us.

It’s an interesting contrast that she knows girls a similar age as her back in her family village in the mountains and they are already having babies. We both agreed that that is not a good situation to be in but also highlights her somewhat comfortable life at home where a bed and a mobile phone are the main objects of her interest.

Something I learned today?

I still don’t have syphilis! I’m not sure why foreigners need to get tested for this to get a work permit.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I made sure to encourage the students who were putting some effort into their work today. Once they got rolling with it, it was great to see. Some days they make me proud. Tomorrow may be a different story of course, but I’ll take it for today.

I took this picture because this is as Christmassy as we get here in Chiang Rai. This year, despite being two months into winter already, we’re still using aircon for a couple of hours at night.

Titanium – 19th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This missile will find its way
Into the hands of men as gods
This bomb, when come out to play
Accelerates the unlikely odds
Nowhere safe from your precious metals
In bunkers even, sat hiding
Under rocks, the earth unsettles
Monsters are patiently residing

Today I’m feeling:

Good again though I can feel tired from the morning exercise and last night I didn’t stay up much past nine pm.

Today I’m grateful for:

The immigration officer at Mae Sai who gave me my visa, which allows me another ninety days stay and then one year. And I can get that next one at Chiang Rai.

The best thing about today was:

Not being at work in the morning.  It’s always good not to be at work when you are supposed to be, even though I enjoy my work these days.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Every day I could fill this space with something about my classes or students.  Knowing that I wouldn’t be at school this morning I sent work to my students on Saturday to give them plenty of time to do it beforehand if they so wished.  I reminded them on Saturday night, on Sunday and yesterday too but still, there were 13 students that didn’t do any work or communicate with me about their not being able to do it. 

Some will use an excuse that they had to go for vaccination during class time but that’s not going to fly as they knew about the classwork three days previously.  It has got me thinking about how to make some kind of lessons about planning and preparing for things.

Something I learned today?

I read an interview with volunteer medical emergency people in New York where they discuss trying to treat gunshot victims sometimes even as firefights are happening between the police and the ‘criminals’. Just replaying those thoughts over made me realise that the USA is already a third-world country.

What kind of responsible country has gun fights on its streets? What kind of organised country requires volunteer emergency services? A third-world one. It feels like the USA is trying to drag everyone down to their level.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I drove myself and Amy to the city this morning and I took Leo for a walk before driving us both to Mae Sai and back home.

I took time to prep a class for work that they have to do tomorrow so they were a little surprised that they had no actual work to do. 

Hopefully, they are primed and thinking about what they need to do tomorrow.  I’m pretty sure they can articulate in Thai but they need to figure it out in English.

I had to hold three students back in class because they didn’t do the work that I asked of them during class time.  Once they had resigned themselves to this fact I tried to make it at least a little bit fun for them until they had finished. 

Unfortunately, one of them was overemotional and rushed their work so that it was illegible and I had to make them do it again.  By now, everyone else was gone and the sound of kids outside having fun was very obvious. She eventually broke down crying saying ‘I want to go home’ and though I felt sorry for her I realised that she is very selfish and very spoiled by others around her.  I gave her some sympathy but also reminded her that it was her own bad choices that put her in this situation. 

As we were leaving the class I tried to remember what it was like when I was being ‘taught a lesson’ and put myself in her shoes. 

I like to credit my kids with smarts, they know exactly how to manipulate adults to get what they want and I feel like their tears are more because they know they fucked up and were wishing they hadn’t.  I felt really sorry for her but had to stop myself from giving in and letting her off.

How have I prioritized my well-being this year?

This has been by slowly increasing the amount of exercise I get and I have learned that I feel better and more positive on the days that I exercise.

I have also gotten into the habit of reading things that reinforce what I already know and though they often fizz in and out of clear memory I can feel that reinforcement building slowly, protecting my emotional stability.

Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

If this was inside the house…I don’t think there’s anything that can’t be replaced so maybe I might just grab anything to hand….  Grabbing important documents would be handy but I’d have to shove Amy back inside to grab them as I would undoubtedly grab the wrong things, for which I would forever feel her wrath!

If it was in my room then it would probably be my old photos. I’m slowly trying to digitize them all and if that ever becomes the case, even though I would have them stored online somewhere I would probably grab my hard drives with all the pictures, music, books and comics that I’ve collected over the years.

I took this picture because I was surprised to see all this extra decoration on the window at Utopia over the weekend.