Tag: exercise

To The Bliss – 18th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Challenge the unchallenged
Surrendering to the blissful
Ignorance, life unexamined
Anxiety becomes wishful
– A fate worse than death!

inspired by Existential Comics
submitted to Moonwashed Musings

Today I’m feeling:

Excellent.  Got up 5 minutes earlier than usual so that I can incorporate some stretching into my morning exercise routine.  Also gone back to two lots of exercise.  The habit is fairly well entrenched now so doing a little extra is not too much of an issue.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru David joining me briefly for a coffee at House. It cut into my writing time but actually, I appreciated a quick chat about AFL and racist English hooligans!

The best thing about today was:

Getting home around 2pm and getting lots of things done earlier than usual (trying to prioritise things).  It’s not even 6pm at the moment and just a couple of things left to do.  I was already contemplating going to bed and reading comics and I’ll do that soon I think. 

I need to adjust my sleep time a little too, with getting up five minutes earlier and extra morning exercise.  I don’t seem to have any problem falling asleep but I’ve not been getting good sleep recently due to waking up with pain in my right shoulder.

Something I learned today?

I read an interesting article on the West’s history of the Great Leap Forward in China and how no one who went there could find any evidence of a famine at all.  There were food shortages due to 3 years of crop failure and the US, intent on destroying the Communist Party of China, then sanctioned grain into the country.  However, the CPC continued to distribute grain to those most in need. 

The whole narrative is posited to be pure Western propaganda and the figures quoted for the number of people who died were just the usual number of people that died anyway.  When something is quoted as ‘6 million people died during the famine’ it implies that it would be on top of the normal death rate. 

The author provided lots of evidence and it also reinforces other articles I’ve read recently stating that the US war with China started when they realised the Nationalists would be defeated by the communists. 

Over time, I’ve become more convinced of the lies and deceit at play in the hands of the USA and it has become much harder to decide what is the truth.  As the old phrase states, ‘If you see the lips moving then you know they are lying.’

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

The usual encouragement to my students for trying their best.

What were some moments of joy I experienced this year?

This is hard for me to recall specifically but as moments of joy did not particularly stand out (which doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy or having a great time) I do recall moments of savouring. And these too are not specific but I do recall the feeling when it occurs.

Sometimes this might be several times a day and other times maybe just once a week. It could be on a bike ride, drinking a coffee, eating food or just sitting and reflecting. That feeling has come more often in recent years rather than moments of joy.

I took this picture because Cappuccino looked beautiful sitting in the soft light of the sunrise this morning.

Burn – 12th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Forgive the fire the pain
The hand pulls away
You’ve broken down again
Beautiful, in a way

Who you were is worthy
Of the love in your heart
Your mind made up too early
You pulled it all apart

Once the scar has healed
The tears have all dried
The love deserved revealed
Comes from deep inside

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Struggled through exercise this morning as I’m still tired despite a long sleep and my first class was a little difficult to settle down but we all got there in the end.

Today I’m grateful for:

There not being the bad traffic I was expecting when driving home. There are some events going on around the city and surrounds during this month as well as royal visits that close off roads from time to time. But not today! Hooray!

The best thing about today was:

Doing some investigation, planning and discussion with Nampan from SpeechOdd for an upcoming vinyl release. I’m hoping that this will help me get more involved with the scene here in Thailand.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both my first and last classes were difficult and annoying today but I persevered, having to keep the second class late due to constant interruptions. It doesn’t help that my lessons are designed for two full hours and now we only have 100 minutes.

Something I learned today?

Just as I’m writing here this evening I got a message from Jan wanting me to talk with ****** because tonight she wants to kill herself! Sigh… it’s easy to see how despondent kids can get in the home environments here sometimes.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Talking with Jan and ******, getting information from one and consoling the other.

Offering a helping hand to Freya who is also suffering from depression as well as some physical ailments.

Sharing in the happiness of Mee, who also tried to kill herself last year, but today ran up to me to give me a big hug and smiles, pronouncing that her mum is home from abroad after a long period of absence. Hopefully, this will be enough to turn her life around.

Offering to help out to teach some extra classes since two of our teachers have left recently.

How does my body feel today?

It’s pretty good today actually. I did arm exercises this morning but didn’t feel any after-effects from that during the day, even feeling compelled to do 10 push-ups in the evening. Yes, it’s not much but this weakling old man has to start somewhere and started I have.

After my exercise in the morning, I noticed a sharp pain in my foot like I was standing on a sharp stone. I then just thought that perhaps an ant had bitten me. It wasn’t until I got home after school I found that it was a thin deep cut. I didn’t feel anything whilst wearing shoes at school but in bare feet again it’s painful as hell as every time I put weight on it the cut opens up.

Apart from still aching shoulders after the weekend ride everything else is feeling just about at the normal level of ache for a 56-year-old boy.

I took this panorama picture on Saturday because the whole view was just magnificent. A picture doesn’t do it justice really. No pictures today.

Time Tester – 7th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Distilling War and Peace into a 15-second TikTok
Surely something is lost
We’re paying for our own dumbing down
Unable to understand the cost

Did you find a virtue in your scrolling?
Fingertips raw and red
No longer is anyone listening
Because nothing is being said

There’s no glitter to the wisdom past
And thinking has been removed
The truth is further from our experience
And unlikely to be improved

Submitted to MindLoveMiserysMenagerie

Home Workouts Workout — Morning functional strength training

Today I’m feeling:

Awesome. I felt especially good after my short chest and arm exercise this morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Our car. I say this because I often see old cars around that I would like to own but remember all the trouble I always had with old cars, except for The Rocket, and how unreliable they could be. So that got me thinking about how grateful I am for our little boring Nissan that keeps going despite the daily thrashings I give it.

The best thing about today was:

Getting things done in the garden and cleaning the moss from around the teaching room using the high-pressure hose. I’m really tired already but it provided a great sense of achievement also topped off with mala soup and grill.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I lost my cool as Amy badgered me for help and then started (what felt to me like) talking down to me like I was a kid. We were outside and I kicked a nearby bucket away in frustration, which then, of course, got her upset too.

I almost immediately just found the situation funny but Amy was very upset and gave me the silent treatment whilst I tried to make it up to her.

Something I learned today?

I watched some videos of the recently released City Skylines 2 video game. It looks very good but I could immediately see how much time would need to be sunk into it and it’s time I would rather spend with other things these days.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

My vile deed was losing my cool with Amy and I’m disappointed with myself because it was nothing really. I’m still trying to make it up to her but she hasn’t quite forgiven me yet.

This morning I just had the one grade 7 class and encouraged my students with their reading which is slowly improving. They should be proud of themselves.

Amy took this picture because Tangmo quietly came over as we prepared to eat an early dinner. He sat and waited patiently and occasionally begged for bits of food. After we had finished we walked him to the gate where he now understands it is time to say goodbye and he walked off home.

A Happy Fat Cat – 20th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This project is almost over
Say your farewells and let me go
I’m tired of these waking hours
It’s time I slept
Don’t shed tears, it’s not failure
But a circuit complete
I dream one day to be an eagle
Or a happy fat cat
But now we must let it be

You’re welcome to say a prayer
But save it for yourself
Whisper it to your own ear
And listen to that breath

Today I’m feeling:

Well enough to exercise again but I’m coughing up lots of phlegm and although my throat isn’t too sore from coughing its giving me a headache.

I’m pretty tired after my first class and could easily sleep. At least I finish at 2.30 and can get home and relax for a while.

Today I’m grateful for:

My grade 8 class students slowly maturing, advancing their skills and understanding what I require of them. I’m starting to like them again, despite loving and loathing them!

The best thing about today was:

Finishing writing up two books to blog posts. Now there’s a bit of space in my bag again though there’s plenty more books to go yet.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My broken tooth is starting to get sensitive and its fricking painful to drink anything cold. My other dodgy teeth seem to also be coming out in sympathy pain too.

I go to the dentist in a couple of days but I don’t think that they will fix it there and then (unless they have a go at pulling it out, which maybe the best option in the end)

Something I learned today?

There’s a lot of volcanic activity in the world at the moment so it seems though perhaps it is just that I’m seeing more of that type of information presented to me. In the same manner it seems to be flooding everywhere that is usually a desert.

Our perceptions are so easily manipulated.

Hey, all is quiet down our street.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I tried to get over my dislike of one of my students by involving him in the class a little more and trying to be firm and consistent when he acts up.

In another class I supported a couple of the struggling readers with some one-on-one time and also tried to broker peace in a quarrel that they were having. 

Amy ordered a new shoe rack which I duly put together with little complaint even though there were other things I wanted to do.

I believe there were no vile deeds today (as per most days now).

What are some of the sources of stress in my life right now?

Not having a visa currently us a little stressful, though in the process of getting sorted out. 

The possibility of not getting paid next month is also stressful especially as I have a few things that require some extra cash, such as getting my teeth fixed again.

Beyond that things are pretty cruisy.

Me and Tulip being stupid last week.Screenshot

Getting Out – 6th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The world is trapped behind glass
A zoo of drunken circus chimps
We look up to others to ask
Just what is this wonder we may only glimpse?

Maybe this spectacle isn’t real?
How can something be so shiny and pretty?
When the glass shatters we feel
That the chimps are less deserving of pity

Running amok, all over our dreams
The promises now grown more distant
Nothing now is what it seems
And that nagging becomes more insistent

Inspired by the second part of this post at Spinning Visions
11th Oct 2024 – Shared with the Ragtag Daily Prompt – zoo

Today I’m feeling:

Still dizzy. Even dizzy during my poor sleep last night as my body aches made me uncomfortable. Wondering how serious this might be. But I still pushed through morning exercise hoping that that may get me going. Not quite. Will see how I fair today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Funfai bringing me a food gift. Unfortunately it was pork so I had to return it though I made sure she knew I was grateful. 

The best thing about today was:

Finally feeling better by the afternoon after sinking a cup of water with electrolytes. I’m not 100% yet but at least I don’t feel as if I might fall over now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My first class this morning was a bit of a test for me and I almost lost it but I think the kids sensed it and were unusually quiet for a little while which softened me a little. I also recalled a daily reminder I have set – “Be grateful for what you have, for it is a gift that can be taken away at any moment.”

Something I learned today?

Some musicians I have worked with in Germany before are rushing to release a compilation to benefit women struggling through the war in Gaza. There are only four days to submit and I don’t think anyone I know would be able to commit to that. But in an effort to be useful, I passed the message on to the current folks I’ve been working with on the Jorando Del Muerto release.

Who is the wisest person I know?

I keep seeing this prompt and thinking it says who is the worst person you know!

The wisest….?

Even people I admire I don’t consider all-wise, all-knowing. Everyone has their foibles. And everyone has some wisdom. Take the best from people so that you can learn. Try everything until you figure it out for yourself.

How am I different than I was a year ago?

Change seems slow until you look back from further in the future. I don’t feel as if I’ve changed much at all in the last twelve months. I can see very minor improvements when I look back at diary entries and think to myself ‘Oh yeah, I remember doing that’ and then making decisions about where to go from there.

Answering this question for five or ten years ago would be much easier to analyse.

How am I stepping outside my comfort zone?

I’m not doing this too much these days but I can think that forcing myself to exercise is outside my comfort zone even though I’ve been doing it regularly for a couple of years now. I’ve been taking cold showers since about March and still going at the moment, testing myself to see how far I can make it into winter. I will go and play tennis with Funfai once a week, just for thirty minutes, despite my aching old bones. I’m still not often comfortable in the classroom either. I’m still learning everything.

Behind The Scenes – 2nd November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When a lie is all you have
You might as well believe it
The past has been corrupted
So you no longer conceive it

When reality is so messy
It’s wasted time to keep in line
The truth is no longer in view
But a vision of a new design

First two lines lifted, and the rest inspired by this post at Spinning Visions (and also connected to yesterday’s poem about photographs)

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and happy though I slumped a little in the afternoon after getting home. My Thursdays now are my easy day with just two hours of teaching in the morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Bruno lending me his high-pressure hose to clean the mould off the paths around our house. It worked for a while but I think maybe some ants were in our hose and maybe have blocked up the nozzle somehow. I hope I didn’t break it!

The best thing about today was:

Listening to the David Kleiler interview where he gushes in the same way I do about Mission of Burma and Volcano Suns. I think he’s right when says Peter Prescott is a true artist and the show hosts also put Roger Miller in that category.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At 7.30 pm I was trying to watch a video but Amy kept making calls so I paused so she could listen easily and because I have trouble hearing when there is other noise too. After she finished I started watching again but then she started asking me questions about things. I didn’t get frustrated but turned the TV off as it just wasn’t the right time to watch. I started to feel very tired then and got into bed shortly thereafter. The first work week and return to exercising is wearing me down so I’m looking forward to the weekend.

What am I looking forward to this month?

I look forward to what every day brings me. I don’t have any specific idea of what I might look forward to. 

The weather is nice so a bike ride might happen this month, but if it doesn’t, that’s ok too. 

I look forward to continuing with things I enjoy such as reading and playing guitar, teaching and having fun with my students.

Art took this picture because he said I looked good sat here. After seeing the picture I commented that I look tired. And old. 

Photographs – 1st November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

No longer memories in a desert
That night of drunken play
Lost to the pictured word
That claims all that happened that day

Today I’m feeling:

Anxious and excited as classroom days resume. The fun, the fighting, the lessons we all learn.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding two useful textbooks in the teacher’s room which I immediately turned one part of the text into a lesson that I used for the grade 7 class. I figured it would be pretty easy revision and just take an hour but they managed to stretch it to two with lots of faffing around.

The best thing about today was:

Listening to the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast about the Volcano Suns album ‘Thing of Beauty’ on the way home from work and then in the evening playing guitar along to a couple of tunes from it. Love that band.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

A couple of my grade 7 students were a little temperamental in my class this afternoon and tested my patience a lot. It’s early days as we all get used to each other again and instead of getting too bothered, I tried to find other solutions to get them back in line.

Something I learned today?

I read about the China-Laos rail line that crosses the border in Laos at a place called Botan. The crossing in 1993 was little more than a single iron bar gate but now lots of investment has grown the city rapidly. Despite the economic slowdown and the pandemic’s effect on travel, Laotians are hoping that this is a springboard to a better future.

List three goals for this month.

Renew my tourist visa. This is a must!

Get back to the exercise routine I had before the holiday.

Get back to around 80kg again, whilst improving my fitness.

Nam took this picture because the class insisted on a photo with everyone showing off the koala souvenirs I gifted to them.

Ghost In Place – 30th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Bursting in without knocking
A mountain of memories returned
Those days of confusion were shocking
And a heart left badly burned

Mentally reset by counting to ten
Big brother came to soften the blow
Remembering what year it is again
And closing that door, just so

Inspired by this story at Spinning Visions
14th Dec 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Ghost

Today I’m feeling:

Positive but a little tired and soft-sighted. Exercise was tough again but easier than yesterday. Still only doing one set for this week. Hope to get back to two next week.

Today I’m grateful for:

Seeing all my happy students again, giving me hugs, telling me they missed me, asking for candy! But most of all to Aunwar who brought me a piece of cake for my birthday! A typical, kind, Muslim gift. If only he was good in class! Haha! He’ll get there.

The best thing about today was:

Still being able to duck out after the morning flag-raising ceremony and sit in the cafe for a couple of hours before hanging out with the kids again at lunchtime, distributing the knick-knack gifts that I brought back from Australia and then heading home around 1pm. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Originally we were told that we had a whole week of activities but today I found out that we start our scheduled classes on Wednesday. Not particularly bothered by this and I know that everything changes all the time now and can better cope with these annoyances.

Something I learned today?

A Chinese airline passenger threw coins into the engine when they were boarding. It’s happened more than once and each time they all said they did it for luck and a safe flight!

What is my favourite memory from the past month?

Being in Sydney again and catching up with friends and family. The blue skies, green trees and purple jacarandas; old familiar smells, sights and sounds. 

One particular brief moment stands out and that was walking over the new park at the end of Barangaroo, along the piers of the Rocks, under the bridge and around to the Quay. 

Throughout my travels around the city were constant reminders of events past, who lived where, warehouses, houses and venues for shows. 

My life, guided by the dull dreary boredom-brown of England, then expanded by the city and country relaxed-excitement of Australia and contemplated here in hot-humid jungle-country Thailand. It’s hard not to be happy.

What am I learning about life right now?

I’m in the middle of a ten-day mini-meditation Stoicism course and whilst it covers many things I have learned already I need to keep reinforcing these things and keep them in mind and transfer them to practice.

I’m also learning that I don’t have enough time for everything and need to prioritise some things. I can easily fill my days. Every day.

I took this picture because the full moon with Mars (?) nearby was the view this wonderful temperate evening where I breathed deep the relatively fresh air. Perfect.

Personal Growth Junkie – 27th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Always found in the self-help section
4000 hours to find perfection
Never enough time to exercise the mind
Because excuses are easier to find

Join the green tea and chai latté set
Have you tried the ice baths yet?
Tried everything but it’s never enough
Taking deeper breaths than Wim Hof

Personal growth junkie experimenting
A life lived always just implementing
Tried until all the rules were set
Died before all the goals were met

Title borrowed from a Spinning Visions blog post though otherwise unrelated

Today I’m feeling:

Flat but at a reasonably happy level. I’m not particularly thrilled about being back in my room as I feel a little kicked out of my own house. But I will adjust. I’ve thrown out a lot of stuff that I haven’t touched for the last two years so now the room is clean and more spacious, Amy allowing my bookshelves to remain in the living room for now.

Today I’m grateful for:

The staff at Mana Mala for making my mala soup, especially for me, even admitting they made a mistake the first time and even though I had to wait I appreciated their effort.

Also grateful to those who wished me a happy birthday today – Hayden, Bronwyn, Amy (duh!), Aunwar, Porpieng, Baitong (today is her birthday too), Momo, Fah and another student who I’m not sure who they are!

The best thing about today was:

Going back to school again, not having anything to do, so enjoyed a coffee at House whilst reading and writing, then a second coffee at Utopia.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This afternoon I had just finished tinkering around with some bits and pieces in my room and lay down to read when Amy called from inside the house asking me to come and help her. I complained that I’d just lay down but came anyway and she promised not to ask me to do anything else all weekend to which I laughed as we both know that she will. I handled it with grace and humour and now I hope to read (though I can hear the neighbour’s kids coming to play….hopefully Amy sends them away!)

Something I learned today?

I learned that next week the students will have activities so no teaching just yet. Gives me a little more time to get back into the swing of things again. I only did one lot of exercises this morning and whilst it pepped me up I was flagging by mid-afternoon. I’ll get back into it.

What is something I need to let go of?

Nothing. I embrace the good and the bad. I favour the good and acknowledge the bad. There are some emotions that I could let go of but they are just emotions. I can experience them without letting them have a negative impact.

Over time now I’m expecting to let go of my attachment to certain things. As I age,  my belongings should necessarily dwindle until they and I no longer exist.

Amy took this picture one week ago because we were enjoying our last night in Sydney. No new pictures today.

Untold Story – 7th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Your wisdom made you arrogant
Though smart enough to hide
Behind that handsome smile
Your true feelings kept inside

When the winner’s cup is presented
You’re humble in the glory
Just enough to disguise
Your secret untold story

A letter from future me (sent 7th April 2023)

Dear FutureMe,

Right now you are feeling so sad and down about life. One week ago today you took little Kim to the vet where they told you she would have to stay overnight. By the next day she was gone and on the following day you buried her next to the garage.

That first week without her has been hellish. With Amy away in Australia, herself suffering the sadness along with the inability to comfort each other, it feels like double emptiness. One little cat had made such a great impact on your own little life.

You try and fill the space with Cap and Tig but their own individual personalities don’t cut it. They have their own thing going on.

Along with all this is the terrible air pollution burning your eyes and giving you headaches. When you read this it will just be a memory and hopefully you are enjoying the clean fresh air at the end of rainy season and looking forward to winter. Don’t forget this though. This shitty air will come again. Be prepared.

As the ghosts of Hellcat still haunt you, slowly this pain will dampen and I hope that all you have now are the best memories of little Kim Chi and all the love she brought to you. Like all that you’ve lost in your life – mum, Steve, Kimi – they were special.

This is hard to write. I’m sitting here in Utopia feeling a little like not wanting to go home and be surrounded by the memories. It’s the holidays now and not wanting to go out into the foul air means staying home and subjecting myself to the constant reminders of that bright-eyed little one.

I hope you are feeling better mate.
Shaun from the past

Today I’m feeling:

Aching all over. Old muscles must’ve been activated yesterday. I slept well enough and woke up before my 8 am alarm but feel like today may need a nap to catch up fully.

I was dizzy drinking my coffee and have come home and got back into bed! I don’t feel sleepy, just tired.

Today I’m grateful for:

Yesterday! Despite my tired body, I feel great, especially after a two-hour top-up of sleep. Slowly I’m feeling (and seeing) the benefits of my exercise habit.

The best thing about today was:

I enjoyed playing guitar today and ended up playing for about an hour and a half. I didn’t do a whole lot of anything else much otherwise though. No exercise at all today. Give my body a chance to recover.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Around 2 pm I decided to go out to the shop next to Utopia to get my favourite dish, Lard Na, but when I got there the lady said she’d run out of the crispy noodles. She provided a solution in Thai that I didn’t understand but agreed to and waited with some trepidation. But I shouldn’t have worried because the thick rice noodles she used she had added an egg too which had gone crispy and tasty, all buried under the usual sauce, tofu and veggies I like.

Something I learned today?

I watched a couple more episodes of The Making of Apocalypse Now and understood more the parallels of the history, the movie’s story and the making of it. The crew went through their own kinds of hell to make it possible. Quite an impressive feat and one of my favourite movies.

What do I hope to achieve someday?

100? To wake up with no aches? Recognition, immortality, legend?

Complete 100% satisfaction and happiness?

I feel like I don’t have any real goals set to tick off any achievements and now I pass the mantle on to Hayden and my students. They have potentially more future ahead of them than I do and my hope is that they achieve some of their dreams and wishes.

I took this picture because this little buddy was pleased to see me again and quickly presented her belly for rubs.