Anxious, tired and sleepy. Yesterday’s events were on my mind as I was sleeping, though I didn’t dream of floods or water, but just the underlying anxiety woke me up a few times.
Thankfully, it didn’t rain much overnight and there are only intermittent storms this morning.
Our school told students not to come to school but teachers are still supposed to go! I told them that I’m still dealing with the situation at home and been sitting in Utopia doing this new report that the school wants.
It’s pretty straightforward once it’s been done once, which took a little effort. It is just another piece of paper that won’t get read, though.
My throat is sore, possibly from being wet and riding the bike around yesterday but could also be from falling into the ditch yesterday – who knows what the hell might have been in that water!
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Getting up at the normal workday time but not going to work. I’m exhausted in that kind of good way that all my energy has been spent. The day has felt long and thankfully peaceful.
The best thing about today was:
The memory of that first sip of coffee at Utopia. Sublime! Will I remember it in a few days time? Will I even remember it after tomorrow’s first sip?
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Our old wooden door that Amy had turned into a table for some plants in the garden finally succumbed to the elements and collapsed into pieces.
I should have spent some time cleaning it up but forgot about it in my lethargy. If Amy doesn’t do it before, I will clean it up at the weekend.
Something I learned today?
I came across a video that recommended taking Pygeum for enlarged prostate problems and I was able to quickly order some on Lazada.
I also learned that the local government and the local electricity suppliers have agreed to cancel last month’s bills due to the flood situation.
I took this picture because Piti was owning the counter this morning.
Now settled in for the greatest joyful genocide Where evil is no longer ashamed to hide Death and mutilation a spectacle cheered No prayers answered or conscience cleared
A playground of rubble where the children lay slain Brothers mop up the body parts that remain Rag-dolled and ruined by murderous intent Fires fanned by despair of the innocent
A holy hand grenade signed and sent with a laugh Floating ashes never find peace on this path This fertile ground may never satisfy the beast Once the Great Satan has been unleashed
Today I’m feeling:
Good again. Exercised and awake. The rain is back, making things a bit dark and plenty of students didn’t bother coming to school today for whatever reasons.
I cancelled my first class to allow them to finish off other work that needed completing but will still take my grade 8s this morning, carrying on a little of what we did yesterday. Not too much stress.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Chinese-made goods. I ordered a new cheap laptop bag on Temu last month and whilst it’s not as good as the one I had before, today I was very grateful to find out that it has an extra quality I wasn’t aware of. (see below)
The best thing about today was:
…well this was not the best but was the most defining moment of the day.
As I was sitting at 22 Grams this morning Amy messaged me that it was raining hard at home and a little later it was raining hard in the city too.
I didn’t think too much about it but noticed that the roads were starting to flood around the school as I went to my class, the rain fairly relentless.
After about 40 minutes I got more photos from Amy of the rain and then a message saying I THINK I NEED YOU AT HOME.
Soon after she called and was sounding hysterical as she told me that our road was flooding. I decided to leave and got back as quickly as I could which wasnt easy as the roads were inundated with water all along the way.
As I got on the highway near home, traffic was stopped and it took me a while to get through to the road that goes around the back of our house but the rice fields were already overflowing and making the road almost invisible. I decided to risk and drive through but once at the back of our house the corner was completely flooded to the bridge and impossible to get through.
I went back the way I came and back onto the highway but there was no way to get down our soi as I saw people walking up to their knees in water.
I got past the traffic lights and into Kotchapol and drove up to a dorm a little bit higher and parked the car there, walking back down to the main road where there was nothing for it except to wade through the water, through the traffic, down our soi and eventually home. It took a while as the water was moving rapidly in the opposite direction and I could feel my hip muscles tested and twinging.
Our house was fine but the rice fields were full already and the rain was still coming. Amy had moved things from the kitchen and I started moving things off the floor in my man cave. After about an hour the power went out.
I lay down for a while and the rain had thankfully stopped. I was enjoying eating but couldn’t sleep and when Amy suggested we go and check our car maybe move it, I thought it best to go before it got dark.
We hopped on the bike but got stuck in the soi before we got to the main road. I pushed the bike through until I could get it out of the water and we discussed what to do next.
I got the bike going again but it was struggling and I told Amy to go back home. I wanted to get to the car and bring my laptop home.
I made it to Baipad’s house where the bike stopped again and it took me a little while to get it going again. Eventually I made it through to the car and got my laptop and set off but I didn’t want to go back the way I came figuring that there must be an easier way back.
As I approached the hill, water from the main drainage ditch was flooding the road and a rescue truck was there in the middle of it. I decided to go for it and a guy waved me by but as I went past, unable to see anything of what I was riding on, I plunged down off the edge and into deeper water and I was suddenly up to my neck in it.
A few rescue guys came over and as my feet were on some firm ground I quickly hoisted my laptop bag up and into their arms and said I’m ok, get the bike up!
They pulled the bike back up and then me. I got set, asked for my laptop bag and pushed the bike through to the other side, much to the bemusement is gawking uni kids.
I waited a while and got the bike started again and set off looking for another way back and after a couple of flooded dead ends took the university road and made it straight back home without getting stuck again.
After getting out of my second set of soaked clothes I opened up my laptop bag and was amazed to find that it seems to be mostly waterproof and my laptop was still buzzing away when I opened it up to check. My phone all good too!
We got electricity back at 8.15 pm. Woohoo!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
There’s some messages coming from the school about filling out a monthly report of all our classes and what we do in our free time.
I’m choosing to ignore it at this point but not sure how long that may be able to continue.
Something I learned today?
I learned that little Fino is a champion!
I took this picture because the water was creeping up all around. Auntie next door didn’t seem too phased by it all but she also lived here when it used to flood every year, well before we arrived.
Quite good after falling dead asleep again last night before 10.30. I woke up sometime earlier this morning, though with Fleetwood Mac stuck in my head for some reason. It could be worse, I guess.
Did a little exercise again, noticing that the little that I did yesterday already had me aching in the legs. It will be good to get back to that good ache, though.
By the afternoon, I could barely walk up stairs! I had run out of energy and motivation and left my last class mostly to their own devices, which they were happy enough with too.
I stopped taking any Tramadol a couple of weeks ago, not for any particular reason, I just figured I’d have kratom and give the T’s a miss and see how I felt and as I didn’t have any withdrawal dizziness as I usually experience (I guess I did still have dizziness though it seemed different somehow) I just ended up not taking it.
That could be part of the reason that I’m not quite so focused in my thoughts and a little more scattered than usual. It could also be part of the low energy and motivation situation, too.
Anyway, as I’m feeling reasonably mentally stable, I’ll keep going for a while longer and see if things balance out.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
The sudden message to go and sign our financial documents means that we should get paid early next week. I’ve just about managed to make it through this month without having to ask for credit. This is the first time since November last year, after messing up my visa and having to pay a bunch of extra fees to fix it again.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some presentation lessons prepared during my first class, who were busy catching up with work for other classes (or sleeping) and I wasn’t particularly interested in teaching either.
The lessons are not especially exciting but they give the students more information to improve what they will present next semester. I plan for them to present often, so I don’t really have anything more to offer to teach them. Just get them practising.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As I technically had classes for most of the day, I figured that I would spend a bit of time at the school when I had a chance but when I went there at around 11.30, they told me that they had no milk for my coffee!
Well, decision made – back to 22 Grams. I can’t make it my regular spot as it’s a little too far from school and I am really missing House. I hope Gui gets it together to clean up and open again for next semester!
Something I learned today?
Yesterday, when I was talking with Noah and Poppy, Stang also came up to listen in and he asked me if any of the teachers were my friends.
Er…yes, I said…though thinking to myself, well, not really. I mean, I’m fine with everyone but I wouldn’t call any of the teachers my friends.
Stang then asked why I don’t hang out with the teachers and as I was thinking about it, he added, ‘you like kids?’ to which the girls were shocked and laughed too.
I was thinking how to answer them and agreed that I actually prefer hanging out with the students because, for me, we are on the same level. I told them that I didn’t like the Thai style of the teacher being above and the student below and that they must defer all the time. They agreed and hate it too. They know it’s not right.
Also, as an aside to this, I know Stang had an ulterior motive in asking about this, as he pushes the boundaries to see how close he can get to me physically. I’ve felt this since I first met him in grade 7, and he is obviously trying to figure himself out and how to approach boys that he likes.
I’m happy that he feels comfortable trying that with me and it hasn’t gone too far. I’m not sure how he fits in with his classmates. He’s openly expressed his homosexuality but never heard any of his classmates discuss it in particular. He is a big kid too; not fat but tall and chunky.
As ever, it is fascinating to watch all these kids grow and mature.
In his class in the afternoon, I happened to wander in and Namkhing was sitting in a corner and I was struck by how suddenly her face had changed to be that of a young woman, whereas only seemingly last week she still looked like a cherubic schoolgirl.
Amy (on the left) took this picture because we were all waiting around to go into classrooms and she stole my camera from my pocket and started snapping away. Amy, me, Chompoo, Stang.
Pretty good on waking again and all was good at school until I was just about to head off in search of coffee. A huge downpour soon flooded all the paths and the roads, already chockers with cars dropping off kids.
The rain didn’t stop for a good 40 minutes or so and I wondered whether to just head to 22 Grams or bother looking for another cafe.
I opted to keep looking and thankfully, at Couple Cups (recommended by Art at Utopia) there was a parking spot right outside. Even so, I got saturated just getting to the front door!
I’ve been here for almost 4 hours, mostly reading and my eyes are getting blurry and dusty. I’m not feeling too bad, though.
Off home to pick up Tigger and take him to the vet for his follow-up check from last week, He seems all well and good now.
I talked to the kids in my one class that I have this afternoon and they said that they would prefer not to have any work set! Uh-huh!?
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
My first interactions on Instagram after putting up some poetry there, even though I’m sure that they are just promotional accounts looking for business.
I was also grateful to get an unexpected refund from Shopee for some trousers I had paid for and forgotten all about. I ordered a shirt and some multivitamins and still had a little left to spare.
I’m feeling a little more secure financially this month so that when Amy just came and showed me a picture of two ginger kittens, I immediately said yes, let’s get them!
The best thing about today was:
Doing something different for food today. Even though it wasn’t wow, it was nice to have a change of routine.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m running out of energy again after getting home at lunchtime and coming back to the city with Tigger. I feel like I need to eat.
Amy suggested dropping Tigger off at home and going off for pizza as soon as we can. Sounds like a plan.
(Later) We did that and I ate a lot! When we got back home, I closed my eyes whilst listening to videos of talk about the grand final this weekend.
But no rest as we were soon off to visit Khaotang to help her with her school assignment.
Whilst we were there, though, a Grab rider got knocked off his motorcycle by a truck that sped off and the guy didn’t look in good shape.
I stayed inside, trying to concentrate and told KT that she shouldn’t go to look either.
By the time all the ambulances and other vehicles had cleaned up, I’d finished putting together the text for her to read and understand.
She has some problem with this Thai teacher because he gave her grade 1 when their foreign English teacher gave her grade 4. My guess is that her English is actually better than the Thai teacher’s!
Something I learned today?
Chiang Mai is starting to flood now! Nong May has just arrived and Amy’s old flatmate will be coming next month and we were planning to go and meet everyone.
How to make something happen, how To meet what’s left for me head-on It’s a long road travelled upon So what dreams of the future now?
I ran so fast to get ahead After all the rushing around I’ve found my feet stuck to the ground How to make something happen, how
Can I learn from my past mistakes Blindly followed the loudest voices Crossroads offer too many choices So what dreams of the future now?
How to make something happen, how To reconcile the debris of all that’s gone? So what dreams of the future now?
A reflection on getting older and wondering what might be next. I’m reasonably happy with my life and feel a little lack of ambition. This could be the folly of comfort but I’m tired too. Shared with dVerse Poetry Form: Villonnet and Poets and Storytellers United – dreams and also for a course at AllPoetry.com 17th Dec 2024 – Published at Edge of Humanity
Today I’m feeling:
A little better again this morning. It was good to see more kids around school and I’ve managed to get out a little bit for a coffee kick start.
I sent a message to Kru Mai at around 10 am to see what was going on and was told that I could find 2/7 and help them out with cleaning.
So I went back to school but it was an hour and a half before I found them and they were just sitting and waiting in the canteen.
I helped out a little here and there as I was walking around but it was very disorganised and chaotic, though some of the motivated kids were doing a lot of work.
I found Jet and asked her what her class was supposed to be doing in the afternoon and her reply (as was everyone’s) was just ‘cleaning’. Whatever that might entail. She said she will probably ‘jump’, meaning skipping out of school and I laughed and said ‘same!’
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Having options for other coffee shops now that House won’t be available for a while.
I tried Hobby this morning but the coffee is not to my taste, really and also expensive at 70 baht.
In the afternoon, I went to 22 Grams, where at least I know the coffee is great but that is also 70 baht too.
Maybe I will try a couple of other places this week just to see what else is out there.
The best thing about today was:
Getting into a real flow again this afternoon whilst at 22 Grams. I caught up on a lot of reading and a bit of writing and also worked out some other ideas for publishing poetry on Instagram and Substack.
I ended up spending almost 4 hours there and was in a good mood, so I thought to drop back by school on the way home just to check in with what was going on.
However, literally as I crossed the road to my car a huge storm rained down and traffic slowed as rain flooded the roads, possibly as most of the drainage was still blocked from mud.
I decided to skip school, though it took me a fair while to get back home as the rain pelted down all the way.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’d thought that I would pick some things up from Makro on the way home too but the rain put the kibosh on that.
Not to worry, if the rest of the week goes like today, there should still be opportunity to do a little shop one afternoon.
Something I learned today?
I learned a little bit about setting up Substack to publish and then also started investigating the Buy Me A Coffee app, though I struggled to figure out how to add the widget or embed it on my pages so far.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I ended up giving Film my copy of Childhood’s End today. I hope he can enjoy it and get something out of it.
Praewa took this picture because she wanted to take photos of me helping to clean, which was a good idea just in case I got asked if I had helped at all!
Really tired and a little low. I slept well enough and got up feeling reasonable but after coffee I just felt zapped.
This morning, Tigger had sprayed near the bin and it was dark and bloodied. Not looking forward to going to school, I readily agreed when Amy asked if we should take him to the vet.
I figured that I would go back to school again later but as my energy drained, Amy thought it best that I stay home and by 11 am, I was back in bed and sleeping for an hour or so.
Tomorrow I will go back to the hospital and get myself checked out because something is definitely wrong with my body, it’s just that it doesn’t seem to be identifiable.
Health:
Physical: 5 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
Dr Arnon saying that he didn’t want to go out anywhere in the city because seeing all the mess and destruction is depressing. It confirmed for me that it is not just me feeling this way.
The best thing about today was:
More and more reading, less video watching. I’m not motivated for much else right now and haven’t done any writing for the past three days either.
In love with trash trucks and bar signs Dirty sidewalks and chaotic lines Stepped on dead rats riding the rail Soothing sirens announce a bloodied trail
A desperate reach to grab the air The rambling mind, a heart laid bare Spilt milk and the ding, ding, ding! A date with disaster or a song to sing?
In love with bar signs and trash trucks The struggle to enjoy a couple more bucks A bustled hustle each patron employs The sound of a memory, a beautiful noise
Shouts from the wet streets are rising Up the five floors exercising A cozy space amongst the debris Dreamt by dreams, it’s no life ordinary
Ok after a while but I slept badly during the night, for no apparent reason.
I thought maybe I was a little anxious about going to school today to help with cleaning up. I haven’t had this anxiety about a small, minor thing like this for a few years now and surprised to be feeling this way.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
Our local shops and the tax-free shadow economy. We can get everything we need for ourselves within walking distance.
Extra items we can order online and even shop for bigger or bulk items, we can get delivered from stores in the area too.
The best thing about today was:
I finished reading another book this morning as I was drinking my coffee before heading to school. I haven’t been reading as much this year but slowly turning away from the lure of videos and back to books.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My feeling was weird today. After starting off anxious, as I was driving to school, I felt ok again but on arrival and seeing the mess and mud, I just felt off.
I can’t quite put my finger on why. It’s like the whole situation is depressing and I just want things to be the way they were, laughing and playing with my students.
I know this is unreasonable and against everything that I’ve been studying over the last couple of years.
It manifested after lunch in extreme exhaustion. I watched people chaotically working hard with little organisation and direction. After all, we are teachers, not a flood clean-up crew. But everyone wants to feel and be seen as contributing; it’s understandable.
Feeling dizzy and dejected, I came home and I was only a little revived after eating some dinner. I hope that I can sleep better tonight.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I don’t feel good about not really helping to clean up the school much today.
Baibua took this picture of me because I stole her hat whilst I was chatting with her, Air and Toey as they were taking a break from cleaning.
But I was already prepared Bags packed and stacked
Taking all my lovers with me Contained on the pages Where there is every poem I’ve ever written
Submitted to WDYS #253 (attached picture prompt) and the form and idea inspired after reading this poem as The Skeptic’s Kaddish.
Today I’m feeling:
A little tired still, as I woke up in the night, as Amy was restless and worried about the flooding. Thankfully, all seems ok at her parents’ so far but water levels are still increasing in certain areas.
Her stupid brother booked himself a flight from Bangkok and despite everyone telling him to stay there, he insists on coming. This morning, the airport road is flooded and the flight is delayed and he’s thinking to fly to Chiang Mai! Why!?
Amy asked him why he wants to come when he couldn’t even get to the family home and he just replied that he misses home. Something is not right in his brain!
This is the underpass at the airport. Thankfully, the water isn’t too high on the road but still, the airport soon closed this morning.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
The one pharmacy today that had the Tiger Balm that Amy wanted. The four I tried yesterday all had a different type.
It seems she has gotten herself a bruised rib from slipping over at the weekend when we were cleaning the house. One of those injuries that hurts more after a few days.
She’s taking a bit easy and I am her little slave boy when required.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some flow whilst sitting at Utopia and putting together a couple of lessons. Once I get into that state, I just want to keep going but it was already lunchtime.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I sent a message to all my students asking if they are all doing ok. Most are but some are telling me that they are about to be flooded. It’s weird because at my house it has already stopped raining and the sun is out!
I found this picture on Instagram. This is the road and entrance to my school.
Enthralled by perceived charisma, you will hear these words oft-repeated We will provide you what you deserve of which you’ve been cheated The masks will swap, convincing you that change means not the same Scapegoating other players is just the way ahead in this game
There’s no escaping the treadmills that you yourself wished created Signed on to the terms and conditions that we have dictated Ignorance is a more terrible curse than anything we could invent So the illusion must be maintained with your monies well spent
I tried some long-line rhyming! The initial inspiration for this was the 7th line, taken from the comic Shadowman – hence the title.
Today I’m feeling:
Super tired. I slept before 10 last night and was in a deep, deep sleep for most of the night and did not want to get up this morning but I did push myself and did a little exercise again.
I was sitting in my room, about to leave, when Amy called me and asked if the school was open because the river had burst its banks and Tessaban 6 school is closed and the bypass is closed too, forcing everyone onto the highway, which usually floods at points too.
I called Kru Tang and she suggested staying home until she got more details. So I could’ve slept even longer if I wanted!
I pushed myself out to Utopia, where I’m sitting now and will do some work.
At 10.30, a message came through that the school will be closed until Monday! Woohoo! One teacher commented that the river is up on the bridge now, which, if I had gone to school, may have meant that I couldn’t get home!
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
No more rain today, at least in our area and we are not affected by any flooding here. It was actually worse here for us last week.
Someone shot a video from ThaTon showing the overflowing river rushing through just under the bottom of the bridge, and all that water was heading towards the city.
The best thing about today was:
Probably having Amy warn me about the flooding before leaving home this morning.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy is closely following events just in case her parents and/or friends are likely to have any problems overnight. I know she’s very worried about it.
I feel more calm as there is really nothing I can do at the moment.
Something I learned today?
I came across a current documentary about kratom use in the USA. It seems that entrepreneurs there are extracting the active elements from it and boosting up the efficacy and it’s starting to cause health problems, including death.
I was just wondering today if my tiredness is from taking kratom. I hadn’t had any for about six weeks and noticed that I wasn’t sleeping as well as before. I’ve slept very well since taking it again this week, but then I also noticed that I feel exhausted at the end of the day.
However, I’m also wondering if my tiredness is due to the fact that I started exercising again this week, too. Maybe I need to test both of these possibilities out.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I messaged Baipad at lunchtime, and she said that she was at Central, presumably going there after the school closed. I wished her luck to get home, as only one bridge was still open over the river.
After waking up again after an afternoon nap, Amy told me that all the bridges were closed now. I messaged Baipad again, and she told me that she had made it home.
I commiserated with Porpieng and Lin, though, as both their houses were starting to flood.
Gui took this picture of the highway from the top of his house. It soon got worse than this and though he said the cafe was ok at that time, I’m not so sure it stayed that way. Both my school and TLC were flooded by late afternoon.
Slow and lazy. Slept until 8.30 and felt lethargic even after morning coffee.
The sun made it out in the morning and the rain looked distant in the mountains, but by 2p,m it was back and after our car service, we drove over the river into the city and it is already flooded over the side roads.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
The folks at Nissan for not fucking around and servicing our car in under two hours. Hopefully, they did more than just clean it. I didn’t recognise it at first because it was so shiny and new-looking again.
They said everything was good, though. I don’t care much about cars so long as they work and little Almy has been doing a good job.
The best thing about today was:
Finding some decent words to describe my current feeling of my second post-covid experience.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I didn’t make it out to my room today, as I was tired and our plans changed throughout the morning. I haven’t played guitar for almost two weeks now.
I just run out of energy and motivation at home these days and end up watching videos.
I haven’t read many books this year either, though I have read a fuck-ton more poetry.
Feeling a little under the weather for the last few weeks hasn’t helped but I hope I can wean myself off the videos and back to books and guitar again.
Something I learned today?
I was finally able to access the EDSY online trial that some of my students have been trying and was surprised to find Milk, who struggles a lot with English, was #1 of all the students, even beating Momo by a couple of points.
It looks like a reasonable tool to use but I feel that there are some components missing that don’t motivate the students to improve.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
As I checked Milk and Momo’s work in EDSY, I messaged them both to give them encouragement and advise on little things that they could do to improve.
I took these pictures because it was haircut day today. HoiTod reminds me so much of Kim, same size, colour and affection.
1994ever 