Those old wooden planks forming structures stood behind my 400-year-old home; still, they stood through each test of time long after I had left this place to roam;
From the house and its slippery paths, mossed and icy obstacles in winter; stood those dilapidated monuments, though each season would split and splinter;
To the left, “the office”, where Grandad collected his postcards of the wild Yukon; locked up tight his precious memories that I would sometimes curiously snoop on;
Around the back, the gardening shed, musty and full of rusting tools; next to that, the beer shed where empty crates were used as stools;
I still recall the stray cat delivering us a parade of kitten after kitten, so we kept and named her ‘Mother’ as we all became tragically smitten;
Sadly, she didn’t stand the test of time and with her next litter, cruelly, died; nothing left except a couple of photos tucked into an album and simply kept aside;
Still more sheds stood next to the fence, one full of coal, another with wood; once a week, I collected both for the fire; a role I understood;
But there were two more I don’t recall, their purpose a mystery to my childish eyes; perhaps full of junk or even empty; so much for the test of time and how it flies.
All this is true.
Shared with the W3 prompt #162: a. Your poem must include deliberate repetition of a word, phrase, or sentence structure at least three times throughout the piece. b. Your poem must incorporate the word “still” at least twice.
This poem is way longer than I would like and became more of a rhyming reminisce for myself rather than an ideal piece of artistic poetry.
A little tired but was able to push through to do some exercise again – another AI-generated one that I ended up running through twice as it is quite short. My abs were burning but feel ok now.
It’s super humid this morning which is energy-sapping and my first class were difficult to keep engaged and under control but I didn’t let it bother me too much.
Nomsen was messaging her mum online and then burst into tears for some reason.
After she calmed down I told her that she shouldn’t be talking with anyone outside the class during the lesson and that if she does some study it will take her mind off things.
She complained of a headache and I know she finds English too difficult but I just tried to push her to not give up.
Phu was also sleepy in the class and he also struggles with English. The kids told me that he was up late working last night but that’s not my problem. I guide and encourage him as best as I can but expect very little from him.
Today I’m grateful for:
My 4-hour break between classes during the day. It gave me lots of time to catch up on some things that I wanted to read and some writing too. I won’t have much free time for the next two days so it’s just as well.
The best thing about today was:
Hmm…nothing stands out in particular but it was a pleasurable and consistent day that I enjoyed very much.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I haven’t managed to get to my room to play guitar for a couple of nights now and I really want to.
I’m doing a bit more lesson planning in the evenings because I’m worried that I don’t have enough things prepared for all these new classes – and I’ve hamstrung myself a little by asking the students what they want to learn about rather than just giving them canned lessons.
Something I learned today?
I talked with S* again today about what she told me on Monday about sometimes showering with her stepdad when she’s tired. And she confirmed it and the way she described it does seem to be completely innocent and is not some kind of regular thing. Like a naturist family or something like that.
I warned her to be careful who she tells about this and she said she understood that and only mentions it to me because she trusts me.
Because of her exposure to Western culture, she considers herself only 10% Thai. Maybe as a Westerner, she was testing to see how normal this situation was. I told her it was pretty unusual.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As Amy flew to Bangkok to visit Nong Mai and Yaya today and will be away until Sunday I have to find my own food. No problem, I thought, as the market would be on at the University.
As I knew that Baipad’s mum was still away, I asked if she and her sister wanted to come with me to get some food there and so I picked them up and we drove up to the Uni but because most of the students had gone home for the end of the semester the market was cancelled.
We drove around and eventually found a cheap Korean shop to eat at.
When was the last time I felt a sense of freedom?
The one time that I felt it really noticeably was on my trips to China.
On my first visits, I was surprised to see how free the environment was and I likened it to being at a large free music festival with folks just getting on with what they needed to do. It was a far cry from my corporate work environment and the nanny state society of Australia.
Of course, for me, I was a tourist and enjoyed the freedom of being on holiday but I sensed it amongst the people in general there. For them, it was probably just business as usual and normal.
I guess we tend to see more freedom outside of our own environments as we count every negative against us with more weight and take for granted a lot of other things. It’s a reason to consider that one culture cannot be better than another. Just different.
I feel this freedom living here in Thailand too but do understand that it is only in comparison with my experiences elsewhere before.
I’m really anti-stupidity laws such as jaywalking, which was enforced in Sydney CBD with a brutal crackdown and over-the-top fines. On my first trip to China, I remember watching as pedestrians grouped together and slowly forced the cars on the road to stop and let them cross.
I imagine it is much different there now, with probably fifty times the number of cars on the road since but it showed me that people don’t need a law to counter stupidity. If you are hit by a car whilst trying to cross the road you only have yourself to blame.
Same with holes in the sidewalk. If you are not looking where you are going it’s your fault if you fall in. Don’t blame the folks that made the hole.
Yes, things could be better and safer but not everything needs a law and its enforcement. I mention enforcement as in Thailand there are many laws but they are laxly enforced. Sometimes, this makes sense.
Which place from my childhood do I most fondly remember?
Without doubt that would be Forest Cottage – my home from aged 9 until about 20.
Most particularly my bedroom, where a lot of partying went on along with all the other ups and downs that teenagers have to struggle through. It was my space to invite others in or shut them out.
I took this picture last week because… well, it was a pretty evening as I rode home from No Name and the reflection in the lake attracted me enough to stop.
More reasonable today though still not breathing properly and have itchy tired eyes.
I slept for almost 12 hours though it wasn’t all good sleep but I was happy to at least have the opportunity anyway. Getting up late meant that the day disappeared fairly quickly.
After coffee, I came back and watched some videos before a delicious experimental lunch that Amy made of roasted vegetable lasagna but instead of lasagna sheets using soft tortillas instead.
Then some more 3 Body Problem, more videos (I didn’t move much today!) then I made it to my room to play guitar but I wasn’t quite in the mood but still managed about 25 minutes. My room is super hot in the afternoons now and I need to go there and play guitar in the mornings when my brain feels more alert!
I’m also reminded that I need to get back to my Thaipod101 lessons now that I have some free time again.
And also I want to do some study around active listening. I figure that after 56 years on earth, I might actually start listening to what other people have to say! Of course, I may find out the opposite too.
Today I’m grateful for:
The cowman from a couple of doors down.
This evening I was about to go out and close the gate and noticed something black on the grass. On closer inspection, it was cow shit! When did that get there! We were out in the garden in the afternoon and it wasn’t there then.
I grabbed a torch and walked around the garden just to check that whatever visitors we had had gone before going to close the gate. When I got to the gate it was already shut. I figured that a cow must’ve come in and the cowman found it, chased it back out and closed the gate behind him.
The mystery was soon confirmed by our CCTV system – a mum and calf with the cowman chasing them out!
The best thing about today was:
Amy’s lunch and then in the evening, Amy’s delicious peach crumble with chocolate ice cream. What a lucky guy I am. Or was I just smart enough to pick the best person for me to marry?
Something I learned today?
Last year in the world happiness index, China was number 1, followed by Saudi Arabia and then the Netherlands. In this year’s report neither China nor Saudi Arabia were in the top 30. That’s strange! It turns out that even though their data was collected it wasn’t used in the final report meaning a white Western nation (The Netherlands) is the happiest in the world. At least, if you cherry-pick the data to your agenda.
Also, whilst watching the Netflix 3 Body Problem it seemed fairly obvious to me that the ‘China Bad’ narrative was highlighted intentionally. It followed the book in that it was a Chinese woman who made contact with the aliens but as the rest of the series wasn’t set in China, as most of the book was, it bluntly exposes Western audiences to a message of ’look what the terrible Chinese did.’ Sigh.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent more messages out to students about their holidays. Checking in with them.
Paen sent me another message out of the blue talking about ending her life again. I wrote back quickly but still haven’t had an answer. I just sent her another encouraging message. I hope she’s ok.
I took this picture when closing the gate a couple of nights ago. Is this a blood moon or air pollution?
A cautious step on an icy ledge Let slip the dogs of war The days of diplomacy are over And goons are knocking at the door
Never hold the gaze for more than a second The men in black are tweaking The files are closed on past misdemeanours Until they’re ready for leaking
Good job Gloria, that’s how you do Surviving all these years of top Surveilling from behind the screen Until the penny is about to drop
Baby’s got a blankie to hold A security against the fear The blinds are drawn, doors are locked So it will not happen here
A boy in a bubble, breathing hope He wants to be just like you Who decides on a normal life When they will surely die too?
Today I’m feeling:
Ok so far though getting up was difficult.
In the middle of the night, I was dreaming of Forest Cottage again and knew I needed to pee but, still in the dream, it felt like it was so close I had to run to the bathroom and when I got there I saw in my pants that I couldn’t contain it all in time but I enjoyed the feeling of relief as I wondered when I would ever stop peeing.
Finally, the dream woke me up realizing I needed to pee and thankfully I had managed to contain it so far. I fumbled out of bed still not quite with it and stumbled around the edge and head first into the wardrobe. With a loud crack, I dropped back onto the bed waking Amy and suddenly wide awake myself. I have a nice forehead bruise for my troubles this morning.
Today I’m grateful for:
My subconscious, telling me to wake up and go to the bathroom before wetting the bed. I hope these dreams don’t stop and I long have the ability to make it to the toilet in time.
The best thing about today was:
Hearing that our aircon component is here. However…. he’s here working on it right now and whilst it is working the air is not cold. One problem fixed and perhaps another created. Have to wait and see. It would be nice to be back in our familiar bedroom again although Amy is saying that my snoring is disturbing her sleep and wants to sleep in separate rooms!
About an hour later and we finally have it fixed again. Woohoo!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
For my second class today I planned on using Quizizz online but as I sat to start it everything had disappeared from my account which was a bit of a worry as there are weeks of work of mine there, but I figured it must be some site-wide issue that will get fixed in time. But what to do for my class that was already ten minutes through the one hour allocated?
In my earlier class, I had played categories with them which went well enough but took about 20 minutes to get set up. During my break, I had taken five minutes to put together the table in a document so the kids didn’t have to draw it (which one student had struggled with!). So I quickly ran and printed off the sheets and divided the kids into groups, taking most of the phones off them, and allowing just one per group to use for searching answers.
Thankfully this group of kids are pretty obedient and even if they are not sure what I’m saying they quickly learn from each other. We were able to quickly have fun playing the game with 95% of the class taking part before I allocated 4 students to clean and kicked the rest out to their next class. Job done!
Also, with the aircon repair taking an hour or two I’ve run out of time to play guitar today which is a little annoying but I know that in the future there will also be days with lots of free time and I will be too lazy to play. Also, sometimes taking a break from something reminds you how much better you’ve become when you pick it up again.
Something I learned today?
Wow, I just finished a long chat with another student suffering depressive symptoms. Although I didn’t see it before their behaviour makes sense in hindsight.
Who has made a difference in my life lately?
I guess this one is pretty obvious for me right now as Amy has been back for three weeks and is about to leave again already. When I’m by myself I can get into a very familiar routine that becomes comfortable and though the acceptance of that change wasn’t that difficult it was still something to work through. When she is back again permanently things will change again and a new routine will reveal itself.
I took this picture last month because it was amazing to see so much fruit from this palm. No new picture today again! Maybe tomorrow I just give my phone to a random student and ask them to take pictures for me and see what they come up with!
The air in this room is still No motes of dust floating in sunlight Each second the grandfather clock creaks Each hour a church bells delight
Braced against cold, a fire emerges Blankets removed at the next bell The crackle and roar has settled now As the sun struggles up over the hill
The window frost starts running New roads made on the warming glass Soon all the bears will awaken And another day shall quietly pass
The ghosts of this room may gather But will one day be all forgot The fire replaced, the window glazed And the striking of bells will not
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for this crunchy strawberry muesli – it’s delicious. I look forward to breakfast every morning.
Try to get some writing in today as tomorrow I probably won’t have time. I did briefly talk with Hayden yesterday. He was out on a walk at the beach with his mum, so we didn’t talk for long. He seemed pretty happy after doing his care training. It’s early days but I hope he keeps it up and starts to feel the rewards of the work.
I sat down with my first class this morning – the wonderful 2/9. Whilst about 80% of the class do my work, there are a few who are struggling. The work is not hard once you understand what’s required. I sent all the class out except the 4 students who didn’t do my work last week and with the help of the leaders, explained how to think about my work. I’m hoping they understood a little bit and will put in a little more effort. I told them that if they don’t do anything, how can I know what to grade them? That trying and being wrong is better than not doing anything.
I think I’m going to do the same thing with my afternoon class – my least favourite class – 2/10. I’m hoping that this approach will ward off any more parent complaints. I was thinking over the weekend how the parents and many teachers just want their kids coddled through school. Pretty pictures and Venn diagrams.
I must admit to being a little lazy now at finding more engaging methods of teaching. The whole online/in-school fortnight is a bit of a challenge and I’ve tried to make it so that the method for the kids is the same in and out of class. We’ll get there. Keep going until they fire me.
28th Jul 2024 – Mum and me in my bedroom at Forest Cottage. I’m not sure why Mum let me graffiti the walls but I did, and my friends did, along with some painting and various other decorations. The writing on the right was WASTED which was my imaginary band at the time.
Her old Sony Trinitron was how I remember watching TV in those days. I think she had upgraded to a newer Sony Trinitron, happy with the quality. Those things used to last and the rate of improvement of technology was much slower then.
My room wasn’t much wider than this. My single bed fit perfectly across the width and the length was perhaps a little shorter than two bed lengths.
The three-piece suit was an Oxfam buy that was a bit of a fuck you to the traditional punk clothing that everyone was wearing and also helped me get lifts to Poole when hitchhiking there.
28th Jul 2024 – Sometime around October, I had bleached my hair and a week before the Christmas holiday started I got the sides cut to give me a nice wide blonde mohawk. The school were having none of it though and suspended me from school unless it was off or dyed black. So much for the Christmas spirit! Fucking school!
I thought that my Mum wouldn’t be that bothered about me missing the last few days of school but I was wrong and she insisted that I do something about it. So I got most of it cut and the tuft at the front I had to cover in boot polish until the end of the week. Ugh.
This picture was taken in the dining room where my grandparents would spend their time, the chair behind us belonged to our dog, Jenny, a springer spaniel that my mum overfed over time and eventually was unable to lift herself up there.
Record of the week: Tourists – I Only Wanna Be With You
5th Sep 2022 – This is a great song and a couple of years later I found a sleeveless copy on yellow vinyl in Wimborne Market, probably for 50p. I don’t think they had any more popular songs, maybe released an album and then went on to achieve fame as the Eurhythmics, which was dull new wave pop that I generally detested.
An online search shows they had 3 albums and a handful of singles, the only one I recall now being ‘Blind Among The Flowers’ which preceded I Only Wanna Be With You I believe and was also excellent. All of these were released in 1979 and 1980 when bands didn’t hang around, years between albums.
18th November 1979 I want my bike 2p
19th November 1979 (tick) ^^ 2p
20th November 1979 God knows 1p
21st November 1979 England v Bulgaria (European Championship) 2-0 2-0 2-0 two-nil 1p
22nd November 1979 1. Dr Hook 2. Queen 3. Jam 4. 5. My bike comes 1p 182p* 162p*
5th Sept 2022 – Was the excitement of my bike arriving enough to distract me from the top 5 this week? A quick look online suggests there wasn’t much else to write home about, except perhaps Madness cracking the top 10. The Jam song was Eton Rifles, one of their last great singles. Funeral Pyre was the last – they’d gone too soft by this time.
23rd November 1979 My bike is here Mum did tell it came yesterday because she was going out. 2p 160p*
5th Sept 2022 – I guess this bike was a Christmas present and with it coming a full month before Christmas it still gave me enough time to beg for new presents on the actual day. She would’ve told me it was here because I would’ve discovered it in the garage anyway as I always had my nose in everything. Keeping myself entertained as an only child and in a garden about an acre in size, I was intimate with every nook and cranny. I knew places to hide and spy from, football was best behind the sheds where the two apple trees could be goalposts. Athletics could be run around the top lawn as it was mown with an oval around the edges. This tree was good for one thing and that tree good for another. The garage I often rearranged to make it more convenient, first for my bike, then motorbike and later drum kit and sofa,
24th November 1979 Hope Graeme comes Ipswich 3-1 Soton 2p 180p*
5th Sep 2022 – It’s possible Graeme didn’t come because his folks forbid him to see me anymore as they decided I was a bad influence. I was bemused by this as it seemed that he was always the bad influence on me.
5th Sep 2022 – I had an irrational hatred of Peter Shilton. Maybe it was his curly hair or the fact that he kept Ray Clemence out of the England team whom I considered a better keeper.
This Association Football Diary 1979 Belongs to Shaun “Concorde” Hemsley Forest Cottage Holtwood Wimborne Dorset
Pussycat??
19th Jul 2021 – Gordon McQueen, Terry Yorath, Liam Brady – these names! Memories of Match of the Day on Saturday nights and the one on Sunday afternoons on ITV….what was that one called – the one with Brian…..damn, what was his name!?
So, in search of this name I came across this sad piece of information:
My first team was Ipswich Town (and Italy – purely for the reason that they wore blue and their names began with I!) and they did amazingly well in the late 70s and early 80s, so much so that manager Bobby Robson got the job of managing the England team. Trevor Whymark was my favourite player and when Paul Mariner joined they were a great upfront duo.
I took a very similar picture of Mariner to the hairdresser and told him to make my hair the same. Of course I didn’t understand that it wasn’t possible and was severely disappointed with the results. The same hairdresser balked at dying my hair blue a couple of years later so I figured out how to do it myself.
Childhood heroes dying are more a shock than sad really. When I calculate his age to 68 I then calculate that’s just 14 years away for me. I want to outlive all my heroes!
Anyway – The Big Match was what it was called, and hosted by Brian Moore. I always preferred Match of the Day anyway really but not really sure why.
I’m not sure if I crowned myself ‘Concorde’ or if I was given that nickname by others. I was in the second year of middle school, at St Michaels, Colehill. I was the fastest runner for my age in the school (over short distances).
Why I wrote ‘Pussycat??’ I have no recollection.
The address is where my mum and I moved to in October 1976, just before my 9th birthday, after the long hot summer in Devon, where we lived for only six months. Forest Cottage was where my grandparents lived and my mum now became their carer and I went through my formative teenage years.
I note that our phone number was ‘Witchampton 203’ originally – when there were so few phones that we only required a three digit number.
This is what the house looks like these days – the house itself pretty unchanged. My bedroom was at the top left and my mum used to sleep on the landing, which I found strange and impressive. There was a bigger bedroom on the right (both windows) but I always felt uneasy in there as the floor sloped away and creaked as if it would break.
“Our’ room – my mum and I – was the extension on the left. I would play here until I was 13 or so when I retreated more permanently to my bedroom. I think the original house was a couple of hundred years old.
Until about the age of 13 or 14 I would take a football over into this field, usually when there were no horses in it, and play football with myself, often scoring the winning goal in the FA Cup Final of my dreams. I would also often have to retire injured with twisted ankles in the horseshoe divots in the ground. It wasn’t quite Wembley.
At the fence between our house and this field I would often spy on horse riding girls who would come and groom their animals, inspired by their horsey faces, porcelain skin and thigh hugging britches.
1994ever 