Have you got 10p? – 19th February 2020

I am so happy and grateful to my aching feet. They suffer but are still going. My aching hips, just working. My dodgy knee, my crooked neck, my weak wrists. One day so these pains will be gone. So will I.

What decides whether a sum of money is good? The money is not going to tell you.

Epictetus, Discourses

To-do list

  • Finish Kru Noon’s card ½
  • Start picture for Tian
  • Start spreadsheet for WDS tour ✅
  • Listen to Donald Robertson lecture ½
  • Plan to take Amy to OK@Chiang Rai ✅

In a much more positive frame of mind today. The knowledge of no longer working in this school has taken the pressure off but it is making me wonder why I can’t just think like that all the time? I’m hoping that the move to a new school and position will give me the fresh approach I need. I tried to do that this semester and was only somewhat successful. Now I have a little more experience under my belt.

I will have a job interview tomorrow and hopefully, that will go well. I should take a notebook with me and make notes. I don’t think I’ll ask too many questions and will suggest some ideas I have based on some textbooks I found useful today too.

I chatted for about 20 minutes with Fred this morning and we discussed the failings of the schools in Thailand and our different methods of dealing with it. I am quite aware that my method is not the best way. I must learn the way that can keep me calm and happy and at the same time try to do my best for the students.

I’m giving myself another 12 months to see if I can turn things around for myself. I will try to do this by remembering how George deals with things and consciously putting them into practice. I feel like some of the pieces of the puzzle are coming together today. I feel strong enough to be able to deal with things. I just hope I can maintain this when difficult situations arise.

Kill confusion by killing options – 4th February 2020

Most disputes are a waste of time even if you’re in the right….

– Haters blog post by Paul Graham

I can recall a thousand arguments I thought I’d won, “That showed them!” Only now to realise I had lost.

Some people start arguments for an unknown reason. Why do we bite at it? Sometimes it’s something we just know we can easily win. An opportunity to show intellectual superiority. What did that achieve in the end?

Sometimes people just sound argumentative perhaps not eloquent enough to express themselves any other way. Being able to defuse situations like that takes a special skill, worth practicing.

Some people don’t argue at all and start with a closed fist. They didn’t like the way you looked. The air sizzles with violence. Mostly recognised from younger days, too old to be a threat to anyone now surely.

Another option often chosen is to simply run away from it, waiting until calmer heads prevail. But what if it didn’t come?

I hate arguing, it’s a waste of time and energy. That doesn’t mean I won’t stand up for what I believe to be right and true but those opportunities rarely actually appear in life. Most arguments are petty and ultimately inconsequential. So the aim is not to win or lose but to just not waste time.

I’m sick of emotions always tearing me inside
Watching things crumble, letting all things slide
A very temporary waste of time
Is there really such a thing as a waste of time?

Gray Matter

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my medicine. I didn’t realise I didn’t take it yesterday and I felt pretty down most of that time. Only realised this morning when I found the tablet on the bench!

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

Buddha

To-do list

  • Take some new photos to use on the blog ½
  • Gym after work ✅
  • Play the listen and don’t complain game ½
  • Clear some Pocket articles ✅

It was a little difficult to play the listen and don’t complain game as Kevin and Said weren’t in school today and apart from courtesies I only spoke to Fred for about 3 minutes. I was able to do it later though when Kru Tam was complaining about Kevin not being organised to send things for printing. I just asked her what she would like me to do.

Similarly, taking photos wasn’t really an easy task either. I’m either sitting at my desk or teaching – not many interesting photo opportunities arising.

I rode my pushbike to the gym and met KP along the way which was nice – she has such a good heart. She was in a hrry though so not much chat but I hope I can ask her to help bring some students for us sometime.

I learned a lot today about social connection and just talking to strangers. A little easier said than done with the language barrier here but George seems to manage to do it quite well. I need to practice those skills. I guess I missed a little opportunity to do this at the gym as there was a white guy there. the gym feels a bit weird to do that though. Though, now I’m thinking of it, it is where George meets and talks to a lot of people so I guess I just need to bite the bullet and try it.