Inspired by all the adult men who never learned to stop being spoiled children and end up in despair when their facilitators (often parents – dads who went through the same process) are no longer there for them. Shared with Momoetry April Poet Month challenge – free verse Title borrowed from Mission of Burma
Bedtime stories, parables of life on the shelves, still dusty; rows of cans, of unopened wisdom; the teachings, the learnings, the Buddhas – where the father remains…
Left in the hands of the monkish – scholars, not teachers; words like paper airplanes flying overhead, tumbling down to joyous boyish cries…
All the toys lay broken – it feels as if the tears will never dry; in search of the comforts of the womb – gift givers keep giving gifts until the boy learns when to cry…
Soon, the world is full of giants, wandering, aimless and distraught; – fear distilled into crystal glasses; a fisheye lens to view a world that owes nothing…
All the pleasures dull the pain until the pain becomes the pleasure; The wisdom trail long disappeared, black eyes follow from the dark snapping at heels with impish grins…
Chasing the dopamine dragons, their fires pierce the thickened skin twisting deep into the calcified heart The face savers are dead – left alone to laugh… alone…
“…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”
― Pema Chödrön
The actions were not mine yet I filled them with disappointment, taking offence where none was intended; – there’s a message here for me.
I landed face-first in a puddle of mud and couldn’t deflect the embarrassment by laughing and wiping it off; – there’s a message here for me.
When you poke a finger deeper into my wounds you are not affected by my irritations, in fact, they may spur you on; – there’s a message here for me.
When the rewards came your way, only resentment came along mine and I could easily justify that feeling; – there’s a message here for me.
When all that resentment bubbled over, a daily garbage collection of anger, regrettable bitter words were unleashed; – there’s a message here for me.
If I could only just be like you, yet not be filled with a jealousy that I use to punish myself further; – there’s a message here for me.
I’m so stuck here with this other me, paralysed by an illogical fear, that I can’t live without this other; – there’s a message here for me.
Lucky for me I found the perfect teacher, The angel on the other shoulder that speaks with clarity to deliver these messages.