Tag: freedom

Wonderland – 25th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Pinned to the floor, mouth full of dirt
Listening carefully for the next scream or roar
Unable to feel hurt, waiting for a hand
To pull back up to the new wonderland

No feeling in the toes, eyes red and wet
Blood pulses slowly down the nose
It’s not over yet, a forever-shifting sand
Every day a vision of this wonderland

Darkness surrounds, night is as day
Sharing space in these sacred grounds
Desperate again to play, desperate again to stand
Amongst the ruins of this wonderland

In and out of sleep, time for final dreams
All the promises no one was able to keep
Who knows what it means when it was all planned
And the devils came to play in this wonderland

24th Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy but alive. As my body slowly revives from another rude awakening I’m sitting outside watching birds searching through the long grass for snacks or useful detritus for nest building, which I’m grateful to see they are taking full advantage of all our trees and safe nooks.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aing, Now and their two friends who helped look after our house and cats and best of all were very quiet and gentle so that us and our cats weren’t disturbed.

The best thing about today was:

Sushi buffet for dinner that I had saved up my hunger for, only eating a couple of pieces of bread around lunch time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Having our house back to ourselves has set Amy off on a cleaning frenzy despite being tired and full after dinner and this leads to lots of ‘do this, get that, get this, do that’ to which I oblige and after a little while say ‘anything else?’ hoping that there isn’t!

Something I learned today?

Talking with my student Baipad I found out that she is part Lahu and of Chinese descent. I only discovered this when she told me she was staying in a village somewhere and when I looked it up it was the Lahu village that Bruno and I stopped at the time we rode out to Tha Ton.

What’s an opinion I held for a long time but changed?

When I was younger I ignorantly believed in freedom and anarchy. I say ignorantly in that I just didn’t know enough about it but I believed in the good of people in general, to help each other and make it work.

Age brings cynicism! I understand the appeal of less governance but ultimately I feel as if it is from the perspective of Western self-centredness and that leaves a lot of places for some to be left behind. Over time I’ve come to appreciate the ‘benevolent dictatorship’ of China, if I can call it that.

A well-governed country may not satisfy everyone when it comes to freedom but it seemed ironic to me when visiting that there was a feeling of more freedom in China than there wass in Australia (though I appreciate this was speaking as a guest).

Thailand is also way more relaxed in its rule of law, which has its upsides and downsides, of course. The government here is also not quite so benevolent to its people, or as well organised.

Governments that are corrupted are the scourge of the planet. It doesn’t matter what form the take. Corruption is the key.

Bad Foot – 7th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There is no bad foot
When putting forward
The only way is back

Once it’s understood
It’s no longer awkward
To stumble along this track

Today I’m feeling:

It’s been a good day with lots of well-utilised free time in the morning, a quick hang-out with students, a class and home again to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 3 through the dodgy Thai websites. 

My exercise in the morning definitely put me in the right frame of mind for the day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The aforementioned dodgy Thai websites for making current movies available for free. There’s a small chance that I would’ve watched this in a cinema but if Amy hadn’t mentioned it I probably wouldn’t have even known there was a third film in this franchise.

The best thing about today was:

Catching up on blog updates including an old diary entry from 1984 that a quick chat with Rupert helped remind me about. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When I woke up this morning Cap followed me into the bathroom and as I sat on the toilet brushing my teeth he carefully got into the litter tray but left his butt hanging over the edge and so ended up pooping on the floor. I held my nose and cleaned up after him wondering how he is so stupid sometimes. He’s cute but stupid. 

Also, I haven’t had time to play guitar for the past three days but know it is there waiting for the right time. I don’t feel like playing so much whilst Amy is around. I think she is going out tomorrow evening so I may get a chance then.

Something I learned today?

New Zealand has decided not to join the AUKUS defence alliance which is a bit of a snub to the USA and has folks predicting a soft CIA-manipulated coup there soon. I’d like to think that was unlikely but at the same time, I heard a great diatribe about the CIA-trained students in China that turned the peaceful demonstrations in Tiananmen Square in 1989, which were initially just general grievances about economics, into the violent riots that saw rioters kill at least 300 unarmed PLA soldiers attempting to clear the square before tanks were ordered in. The more I hear and read about this event the more I’ve changed my opinion about what happened.

What am I looking forward to this week?

Bruno just contacted me about a ride at the weekend and if the weather isn’t good then just to grab coffee somewhere. Amy leaves on Friday and whilst I’m looking forward to my last seven weeks of relative freedom I’ll also miss her being around again. Despite our petty annoyances with each other, we have a lot of fun.

I’m looking forward to a bit of free time tomorrow morning too, to catch up on some reading and writing.

And as mentioned above I’m looking forward to playing more guitar.

No new pictures today so this one is from last week. Another angle of the dragon fruit plant flower, which still hasn’t turned into any fruit. I like the colours in this one and the light raindrops. The flowers end up looking soggy after a bit of rain as if they were made of paper.

Anchorite – 26th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I have a window to the world
If you wish to bother me
Ask me for a prayer
And I’ll give it to you for free
Otherwise, I’ll be here by myself
Just my thoughts and me
Freedom is in my mind
I consider myself to be free

Today I’m feeling:

Tired with headaches and irritated sinuses and eyes, sometimes short of breath.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having gone shopping a couple of days ago and having food to cook in the fridge. I’d thought about getting food outside but really didn’t want to go out again.

The best thing about today was:

When I got home from morning coffee I put on Blondie’s Plastic Letters and blasted it loud as I hung out washing, cleaned up all the cat spray around and then vacuumed everywhere. It’s a great album, my favourite era Blondie.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

With low visibility due to the smoke, I couldn’t help thinking poorly about the situation. I understand I have no control over it but it seems unfair to be subjected to it.

However, I talked myself around by thinking about all the positives of being here, particularly after Amy sent me a picture from a restaurant of her small plate of pasta which looked like something I made (ie. not aesthetically pleasing) and cost her 27 dollars! Unbelievable!

Whilst looking at AQI data I saw that Chiang Mai was the number 1 worst place in the world at over 300 and Sydney was about 98th worst with just 4! I’d pay 27 dollars for clear sky right now.

Something I learned today?

After deleting my poker app because it was just taking up too much time I still watch some videos of games and came across a cheating scandal yesterday and I’ve been hooked on the story since watching lots of videos of interviews and opinions. The poker world is a bit of a crazy place.

What is something that I have been putting off and why?

Yesterday I put off updating this journal because I was engrossed in watching a TV show and when I sat down to write it was past midnight and the question prompt had already, appropriately, changed to this one.

Yesterday’s prompt was ‘What experience do I need to write about’ and my answer, as detailed in this blog, is all of them.

Am I reliving my life because I am no longer living? I like to set myself ridiculous challenges so here I am.

Art took this picture because about once a month I’m his promotion model.

No Freedom – 15th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

There’s no freedom without morality
Or institutions to provide education
For freedom to provide peaceful reality
Needs reassessment of this situation

We (a royal we, a royal we of the West) are obsessed with freedom but we’ve misunderstood its reality. Freedom does not mean freedom to just do as you please. It must have some moral guidelines and that part is being eroded and going missing in our modern Western societies. I don’t know so much about other societies in depth but I feel that they have a different relationship with ‘authority’. It’s a choice to make and to pick your battles.

18th Aug 2025 – Shared with Reena’s Xploration #394

Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed, happy

Today I’m grateful for:

The shampoo that helps clean up Tigger’s skin. It leaves his coat feeling good and hopefully, this is the last time I have to wash him for a while as the blisters have almost all gone now. Luckily he doesn’t mind me washing him too much now.

The best thing about today was:

Starting to read Death’s End. First at Daytripper and then in the cooler late afternoon in the hammock. Already thought-provoking in the first 40 pages. Awesome.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I couldn’t resist an afternoon nap after reading and I spent an hour fluctuating between lucidity and what felt like deep sleep. As I was falling asleep waves of euphoria hit me dragging me down to dreamland. It was delicious, I love that feeling and tried to make it last longer but the pull was too strong. I handled the ‘waste of time’ with sixty jumping jacks when I woke up and after shaking out my head a little.

Something I learned today?

After China brokered a deal between Iran and Saudia Arabia last week there’s talk now about the possibility of negotiating peace between Russia and Ukraine. That would be the biggest diplomatic coup so far this century.

Pushing the world toward peace is the exact opposite of what the US has promoted for the last 70 years. I really hope China can pull it off.

How can I express my creativity today?

How? In any number of ways. Anything is possible. However, I didn’t really. The two photos I took were about it. I did get some students to test my online lesson though, but I created that yesterday and will update accordingly tomorrow. I guess I got some ideas. Not every day is creative, much as we might like it to be.

I took this picture because it’s time to start a new book and get back into a good story. The third part of the trilogy and it’s off with a bang and a twist. I got to Daytripper early so not many people around. I also started to feel sleepy as my body and brain winds down from the intensity of the classroom.

Til The End – 23rd November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Make sure to watch til the end
This video needs the stats
Nothing happens at that point
As you can see within the chats

But make sure to watch til the end
Cos this video needs to go viral
A dollar for every ad served
Within this ever-downward spiral

Make sure to watch til the end
If you really want to laugh
Forget about the time you’ve wasted
Cutting your life in half

Make sure to watch til the end
Scroll and pause, pause and scroll
You’re the product in this game
And the devil wants your soul

So make sure you watch til the end…

The foundations of a free country is that your freedom to swing your fist ends where someone else’s nose begins.

Ryan Holiday

Today I’m feeling:
Reasonably happy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The old auntie at the market that made an old-style Thai dessert that is hard to come across. It’s a little like Japanese mochi, made with sticky rice and flour and other things I don’t recognise.
The best thing about today was:
Explaining some work to a couple of students and seeing the joy of understanding on their faces when it clicked for them. Small steps. Interested students are a teacher’s pleasure. Uninterested students are impossible to get through to and those moments of understanding are far fewer with them. So even a poorer student that shows interest is preferred.
Daily thought
Who is someone living that you admire?
I’ve been thinking about this off and on all day and as was commented on where I found this question, it is much easier to come up with a person that is dead. Why is that? A finished story perhaps. A life that no longer can be spoiled… I admire many of my musician friends, just for their abilities to create music that sparks me. This can apply to artists I don’t know too but the connection feels vaguer these days. This admiration is not necessarily for who these people are but for things they created, though there is a strong connection in the qualities of patience and persistence amongst other things. If I have admiration for who a person is then that would be Amy. She has her ups and downs as much as anyone but in general, is a happy person whose positivity is seen by most and I’m sure has helped guide her through life with good results. I admire her attitude. I’m not like that, not like her in that way. I wish I could be but I just can’t. It’s one of the reasons I want to be with her though. She’s a counterbalance for me.
What’s your best advice for teenagers?
The best advice is what I have learned through reading about Stoicism and understanding the dichotomy of control. As I am teaching teenagers at the moment this often comes up for them in learning about dealing with relationships and situations. It is always something I have to remind myself about every day though. I think I’ll make that a daily question for myself from tomorrow.

I took this picture because this is typical of my students in class. Today I laughed with them but actually, I feel disappointed for them. The environment is just not conducive to learning.

Freedom Trap – 20th January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Build a wall to keep out the sea
And a roof to keep out the rain
Stop the sun from getting in
And never see the weather again

Freedom means nothing to the agoraphobe
We’re either trapped within big or small
The measure exists inside our minds
And we help to build that wall

The misery that oppresses you lies not in your profession but in yourself!

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Gratitude Journal

I’m so happy and grateful for our big palm trees that provide hours of entertainment as Tangmo loves to play with the old fallen fronds. I don’t know why!

Classes went well this morning, with 2/9 again proving they are awesome and I’m wondering if that is due to the fact that Bruno taught them for 2 or 3 years when they were in primary school. I hope this class continues to get pushed because they are very capable. Whilst there are some bright sparks in the other classes, the dynamic within them is not conducive to learning. It’s a shame for them.

Anyway, I’m feeling good again today. Forced myself out of bed and did a back and shoulder workout in the hope of strengthening support for my neck. I know I shouldn’t lie down to watch TV or lie in bed reading but can’t help myself. Fixing those two things could be all I need. I’ll attempt them when Amy is not here.

Yesterday I got stuck into the termites behind (and in) the washing machine. Their nest is a pain in the ass to clean – basically mud, both dry and wet. As I was cleaning up, it occurred to me that this may be like an iceberg, with a nest much bigger behind the tiny hole in the wall. We ended up pouring a whole bottle of anti-termite powder down that hole – who knows how big it is down there?

Amy suggested we pour some kind of liquid killer down there next and maybe 4 litres won’t be enough. What are the predators of termites – and where are they? I thought the lizards would be enjoying snacking on them but maybe they get through the mud to them. Nature is wonderful. I just wish it wasn’t in my kitchen.

Check Your Dreams – 5th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Conspiracies abound among the paranoid
Secret cabals of lizard men must be destroyed
Spooks at every corner have been deployed
Data analysis deep tracking employed

Inception matrixes to check your dreams
Killer drones are shooting laser beams
Manufacturing consent it seems
Our new masters are our own machines

10th May 2024 – Submitted to No Theme Thursday for the attached picture prompt

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I pretty much managed to finish my grading files in an hour yesterday. A whole semester measured with a number.

Today’s a good day so far (it’s 2pm). Probably the best thing was spending an hour in the city getting a massage. First one for a long while. How grateful I am to be getting paid and being able to get a one-hour massage! I’m thinking to go back again on Thursday! Why not!?

There is nothing particularly bothering me personally these days. My life is sweet. I’m conscious that I’m reading a lot of news again, generally about the US and the US-China relationship. That shit is making me angry and I’m wondering if I should just cut it all out again.

Amy and I finally watched The Tiger King and that documentary seems to highlight for me everything that is wrong about the USA. In my youth, I always argued for freedom but as the saying goes, ‘with great freedom comes great responsibility’. I don’t think freedom to be ignorant and stupid was quite what my idealised youth was thinking of.

Safety First – 13th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s a dirty war where enemies become friends
And friends enemies to further their own ends
To the victor the spoils, to make up the rules
To put out the fires burning on hated fuels

Some will celebrate whilst others may flee
An order emerges to which most want to agree
Freedom for the ignorant, itself its own cage
Repeated ad infinitum on every history page

Better to be oppressed than constantly scared
It’s all relative when your life has been spared
Safety comes first, freedom a patient wait
Rebuilding lives, thankfully able to create

Stop running tired now passed that difficult test
Grateful once more, living again, amongst the blessed

29th May 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge

Cassette collecting all KLS releases from 2014-2021

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that in my dream last night I tried to protect the people I love – even though I woke up screaming, waking up the people I love!

I was not in the best of moods over the weekend but not terrible. I think I ran out of energy yesterday and just ended up reading and watching TV. Last week, on Monday, I gave George some ground coffee as a gift and to show that I’m OK with him even though he doesn’t interact with me anymore.

Then, on Friday, as I was listening to YouTube and just before writing my entry here, he came into my classroom, which was a bit of a surprise, and I smiled towards him as he approached. He came up to me with the coffee and said, ‘Why did you give me this?’ I said, ‘No reason – just a gift. You drink coffee, don’t you?’ He put it on the table and said, ‘I don’t accept gifts for no reason’, turned around and walked off. I was speechless.

I sat for a while, writing my entry and decided not to mention this and to think about it over the weekend first. This may have also affected my mood a little, but I realise I feel quite resilient to this kind of behaviour! It gets me curious about what makes people act in this way. Suspicion? Pride? Culture? Anyway, I will ignore this stupidity,

I talked a little with Amy and Bruno about it. Amy blames me for even trying to interact with him. Bruno agreed that it was strange behaviour but not so uncharacteristic from what he know of George. We all agreed that we all feel sorry for Bee, who knows what he is like and puts up with it, whatever her reasons.

Anyway, I gave the coffee to Champ this morning, who was really appreciative of it!