Pull yourself up by the bootstraps – 6th February 2020

Gratitude Journal

I’m so happy and grateful for my relative freedom. After reading about Natascha Kampusch spending eight years in a dungeon and how she dealt with it is really inspiring. But even outside her dungeon she still has a feeling of being trapped. Hence relative freedom.

Justification for infidelity and dishonesty in all their manifestations lies in the marginal cost economics of ‘just this once’.

Clayton M. Christensen, HBR

To-do list

  • Get cutting knife
  • Prepare Kru Noon’s card
  • upload TCRAH
  • Rip some CDs
  • Rest. Speak less. Listen more ✅

Well, I didn’t get many of those things done! But that’s ok because I really did rest a lot. I read a lot and watched a bunch of really interesting stuff on YouTube, some of which I really was savouring.

I was in a good frame of mind when Aing, Gus and Nu came and I enjoyed talking with them, kicking off a conversation by asking them that in ten years time they will be successful – what does success mean for them? Aing then surprised me by asking if I think about how I might die. While Gus and Nu laughed I thought it a very valid question.

It was an interesting and thoughtful conversation and I very much enjoyed it. So, nice and rested, I’m prepared for our long drive tomorrow.

Wide open spaces of open mind, these people need something to believe in – 17th October 1994

Oh wandering spirit in my soul, guiding me away from trouble and blasting me forward into the furnace of life – I embrace you, hold you and cherish you. I cherish this time, this day, this very second. I love my life, I love Bronwyn (deep, deeper), I love myself, I love the earth, the trees, the birds. My inner vision (and outer vision) now expanded with world awareness, my third eye open to positive elements (earth, wind and fire – oh yes, I feel a lot of funk in my life) and all that hippy mumbo jumbo shit.

Like someone said to us today, “you cannot convey to someone who hasn’t been to Australia, the space and feeling of freedom” and also it is that “that intimidates some people while others embrace it” and you see what I feel.

To bring you up to date we spent three pretty torturous stressy days at home together with a lot of all our stresses surfacing and causing us brief frictions but we understand each other and our situation and realistically just why these things are occurring as I probably explained some text earlier. So the last thing we wish to worry about is getting married yet this is what we’ve thrown ourselves into and we trip out to Bathurst where Broni and her 8 brothers and sisters were raised and her mum and dad still live.

Photo found online

Modeerf – 7th September 1984

You’re back to front, wrong side up
Put your good side down and try your luck
Modeerf
What’s your name and your I.Q?
Kill yourself or find something better to do
Modeerf
Upwards downwards backwards forwards
Can’t keep control of that little hand
That will press the button
To keep freedom in our land
Modeerf
The hope of which you talk is only for you
I know your number – 27 I.Q.
Modeerf
Explain all you like it will lead to a path
We’ll still have freedom during the aftermath
Modeerf