Though I am I used to be Never felt strange But do agree
a simple man a different me accepting change that I must be
Today I’m feeling:
Tired but happy and positive. I got another couple of lessons completed this morning and happy with how they turned out. I’d hoped to get to Daytripper to do more but after a quick shop, I got home all sweaty and jumped into the shower and didn’t feel like putting clothes on to venture outside again.
Today I’m grateful for:
The lack of traffic in the morning meant I didn’t need to rush too much to clock in at school.
The best thing about today was:
See the attached picture.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I gave in to nap time though I think it was only for about forty minutes. I listened to the Jazzcore podcast so it was a pretty wild aural assault into my dreams. I woke up drooling.
Something I learned today?
Funfai messaged me to say she saw me at school this morning and when I asked her why she was there she said she was playing tennis again. She said she will go again on Friday so I will pack some clothes and perhaps have a chance to have a hit with her too.
What are my top priorities for the day?
Now I’m at the end of the day but I know the main priority was having organised to meet my old students and treat them to lunch. As they were also Bruno’s old students I thought it would be a nice surprise for all of them to catch up. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be difficult for the kids and if they would flake out but they made it and also in good time.
Quote: Humility cannot exist without love, and love cannot exist without humility – Saint Theresa of Avila
I always subscribed to the notion that you must love yourself before you can let be anyone else (though it took me about 40 years to actually put it into practice). Once you’ve understood how to love yourself you learn to put others first and you no longer need to seek their approval or play any kind of game with them. You can be humble before them.
Nut took this picture because I had planned a surprise for Bruno and our old students, Porpieng, Momo and Baitong to catch up together today. It’s been six months since I saw Popo and BT as they switched schools and I rarely see Momo as she switched to the Japanese program. For Bruno, he hasn’t seen them for more than five years! I’d tried organising them meeting a few times before but it never worked out. I think everyone was happily surprised to see each other again.
Relaxed and a little sad. Most of my relationships now have been formed around my students and I know that I will miss them during the holidays. Some students feel the same, not necessarily about me but about not being able to meet their friends often. But it is also great to have a break from it all too and I’m starting to look forward to going to Australia.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong Gam for putting a frangipani behind my ear, giving me a hug and saying she will miss me in the holiday. I have appreciated her efforts to improve her English this semester and she has appreciated the time I spent to help her.
The best thing about today was:
Little Nicha wrote a very sweet message for me in the Quizizz I gave her class today. Along the lines of ‘Thank you to help me learn more when I am struggling and for comforting me when I was sad.’ I’m tearing up a little just writing it!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had psyched myself up to stay at school and play a little tennis with Funfai before her coaching but it had rained a lot during the afternoon and I wasn’t sure if she would still go. She said she wanted to and the rain had cleared so I waited around playing volleyball with a bunch of other kids. But then more rain came and I gave up and we agreed to try again next semester when there will be less rain.
So, it was annoying that I stayed around when I could’ve gone home quicker but I still enjoyed the time hanging out with different students.
Something I learned today?
Last night I was following up on the drama at school with Feije and asked Nong Fah what was the story. She told me a little and it was a totally new story to the one from the day before!
When I asked Fah what she thought about the events she said she didn’t know, much like when I asked her before what was up with Feije recently. I then realised that she was being typically Thai-style diplomatic and didn’t want to say anything bad about someone else.
I found this kind of endearing but also frustrating in that it’s difficult to know how people really feel about things in Thai culture.
Either way, it was an interesting learning experience for me to see how some cultural norms are here through the lens of my students.
Also in relation to yesterday, the student having trouble with his friends messaged me saying he stopped being friends with them because they were punching him. I told him that friends don’t do that and that he can tell me if they keep bullying him. He said that it was okay because he didn’t want to cause any trouble. I told him that I understood but that I was there if he needed me.
I thought that this was a kind of Thai attitude but now I’m writing more I guess this is how many kids deal with being bullied anywhere in the world.
What changes did I experience this past month?
This feels a little difficult to contemplate these days. Things are changing a lot more slowly than previously and are less noticeable. I guess that as it’s gotten to the end of September I’m starting to feel a little excitement about going to Australia, as I will leave in ten days time.
Also as the month has gone on and the holiday approached, I’ve felt a gradual winding down and relaxation in the classroom.
I took this picture because I have no new pictures today so scouted around the house for something interesting. These cats are part of a set of 5. The picture behind is from a long time back as I was still dying my hair black then. I think it’s from a trip to somewhere in Thailand.
The real world is under my nails And all tangled up in my hair Pointing its finger at all my fails And to the successes that I compare
Flocking to spaces our clan created That manic sparkle in our eyes All the struggle adequately compensated With the restocking of new supplies
As the world spins us closer to dying Start thinking highs instead of lows The microcosms in which we’re trying Are the real world that I chose
inspired and choice words borrowed from this post at Spinning Visions
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and positive. I’ve been waking up a little before my alarm more often recently almost as if my body is looking forward to the day. That’s a good feeling.
Today I’m grateful for:
My student Tee, who helped fix other students’ access to use their camera and microphone on their phones so that they could complete the Quiz I asked them to do. Most of the kids’ phones are in Thai so it was difficult for me to help but once I saw he fixed it himself on his phone I recruited him to show others in the class too.
The best thing about today was:
I’m struggling to find a specific thing as the whole day was just pretty damn great!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The three annoying boys in my first class today were better than usual but their bravado upsets me. They think that they are great because they finish quickly but then get upset when I have to tell them they got something wrong and to try again. Today they complied fairly well and showed me a little more respect than normal but after the class was finished found all their empty water bottles scattered over the floor. As I was in a reasonably cheerful mood I cleaned up after them but not before taking a photo and sending it to their homeroom teacher.
A few minutes later I was talking to students in another classroom and the boys turned up trying to get my attention and then dramatically apologising. Though I wasn’t that bothered I felt like they lacked sincerity and pretended to be upset and ignored them and brushed them away. I don’t know if they will learn from this or not.
Something I learned today?
I learned today that it is difficult to teach my students to be specific when answering this very question. They confuse doing with learning, saying things like ‘I learned English ’and I had to tell them to be more specific. Even then when they said they studied modal verbs I asked them about that and they couldn’t really say what they learned. I also had to help them understand that they did not just learn things in school but they are learning from each other all the time. For a ‘thinking school’ sometimes it is difficult to get them to actually do that!
How did I put my words into action?
Last week I found out that Funfai plays tennis every day after school for two hours. She asked me if I would come and play with her.
She’s not my student but we remember each other from four years ago in Primary. She was always friendly and curious and wanted to talk. Now when she sees me around school she comes and stands nearby until I see her. She’s too polite to come and interrupt me, especially if I’m talking to other students.
I’m not sure why she likes me or wants me to play tennis with her.
Anyway, I told her I’d try and come and watch her after school one day, knowing that usually I can’t wait to get home and relax but committing to it made me feel like I shouldn’t let her down, even though she is so respectful that she wouldn’t be bothered.
Going to school this morning with my mind set to do this today, I figured that my last class would finish a little early and I could go and get some food in the city for dinner first.
A small delicious vegan plate at Oasis quelled my hunger and I got to the tennis courts on time and I chatted with Funfai for a few minutes before her coach arrived.
Incidentally one of the other coaches there recognised me from teaching at Anuban a few years ago though I didn’t remember him. He was a teacher there but quit to do coaching.
Funfai and I both felt happy that I had kept my word to come and watch her and she immediately asked me again to play. I had no sports clothes with me but thought about it a little and decided I could easily do it on Friday for 30 minutes before her training starts.
I pinky-promised her though again she said that it was ok if I changed my mind.
I want to prove to myself that I do put my words into action in this way.
How does my body feel right now?
Healthy and fitter. I still have a slight lower back ache, probably from too much lying down at the weekends and my left big toe doesn’t seem to be getting any better but is bearable. The various aching muscles from working out and all improving every day with faster recovery times. I’m keen to keep my exercise routine going as it also aids my mental health.
I took this picture because I wanted to send it to Funfai after watching her play. I was a little far away to get good shots but I liked this one.
Yesterday I was completely lifted by having three good fun lessons which the students and I all enjoyed. Then I went to visit CRPAO again.
The feeling there is still not good (for me, anyway) but my old classes were very happy to see me and I was surprised at Simone’s students who smothered me in hugs and were very affectionate. I made a point to see Funfai – she’s so cute! She said she misses me and it was very lovely. I felt very much appreciated after that.
27th Dec 2023 – I just last week found out that this wasn’t Funfai at all but another student (Funfai and Lydia thought is called) Sugus.
I was still tired when I got home but felt more invigorated. Today is my easy day so everything has come back together nicely. I’m glad I didn’t let that glum feeling get me down at the beginning of the week
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have met the students at CRPAO and was very surprised at the reaction of Simone’s kids, they jumped on me and pulled me to the ground they were so happy to see me.
To-do list
No complaints out of your mouth.
Finish week 15 lesson – have lots of time.
Compliment another teacher.
Positive feedback for students.
Study next Thai video and more Drops.
Think about when can record more TCRAH.
Consider what to talk with Hayden and how he is feeling.
Did it list
Wrote to-do list in the morning.
Deleted all games off phone.
Stayed calm all day.
Noticed when I complained and stopped myself.
Read three chapters of book.
Stayed calm when I found out we’d be staying at Rak’s house for dinner even though I had hoped to return home.
Even though got home late, went and watched Thai video. Also did Drops today.
Rang Hayden and tried to sound positive without being overbearing.
Finished week 15 lesson.
Told students it was their decision if they want to do homework.
After reading an article I instantly deleted all games off my phone. The article was simple and direct. ‘Don’t play games on your phone. You are an adult.’ I got a message from Bronwyn in the morning saying Hayden was upset by the messages I was sending him, trying to help him and to call for Christmas. This message made me a little mad – why doesn’t he just call me and so what if he’s upset. He should be upset and be motivated to improve his life. I wrote a note to myself to think about later – ‘things I like about Hayden.’ I tried to think about how he was feeling and called him in the afternoon. He sounded fairly upbeat and was talking about becoming a firefighter. I’d like that to happen.
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