Tag: garden

The Albatross – 13th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

The crab said to the albatross
“Can you take me from here?”
“Where do you wish to go?”
Asked the albatross
“Anywhere away from these sad rocks,
To the skies!”
The albatross said “Hop in”
And opened wide his mouth
Enjoying a difficult meal

Submitted to dVerse Quadrille #203 – crab

Today I’m feeling:

A little better with my hip, though it kept me tossing and turning all night last night and so when it was light this morning, I just got up.  It was only 7am but I felt better for moving.

I had to deal with an army of ants biting my feet in the kitchen as they were retreating inside from the rain overnight.  Sadly for them, they are all dead now!

I started doing some weeding before heading off for coffee.  I don’t know why.  I just saw one and then kept going.

As I was about to get on the bike, the neighbour told me that they will concrete our drives today and so I can park over the road at Auntie’s, where there is lots of space.  Everything should be finished soon, making our road much easier to traverse.

As our gardeners were due this morning, I asked Amy to cancel them but they insisted on coming.  I guess they need money and know that we are reliable to pay them.

Today I’m grateful for:

The gardeners again.  I’m glad that they came in the end as our grass is cut nice and short again making it less likely for snakes to travel through.  From my quick inspection it seems that they didn’t manage to destroy any cactuses this time too.

The best thing about today was:

Tangmo coming to visit us a couple of times. After coffee in the morning and grabbing some Swenson’s ice cream, picking up Amy and coming home I’ve done a lot of TV watching and hip resting.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The pain in my hip is out of my control and there’s not much I can do about it. I’m hoping a bit more recovery tonight, otherwise I’ll have to go and waste some time at the hospital.

Something I learned today?

The Swans won this week, smashing the Kangaroos by 79 points. Not a difficult opponent but good to get another win after the small loses over the last two weeks.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I met Nong Kratae at Utopia this morning and she asked me if I would come and help her once a month, as her high school-aged students need more information about IELTS study.  

I told her that I could come along one time and see what it is that I might be able to offer.

I took this picture because Piti was doing his best sexy pose this morning.

Good Book – 3rd June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Prepared with a pocketful of prose
The book sprang legs!
Patient and potent, I cannot pull away
The word holds me, the world begs

The porch story-teller
Remembers not to forget
Making metaphors, I’m nostalgic
For something that hasn’t happened
Yet

Innocence gone up in flames
Living mosaics of everyone
And everything ever loved
A good book, once ended
Has begun

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions
20th Sep 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #195

Today I’m feeling:

So-so.  Despite thinking that I might get up at my usual time of 6am I slept for another couple of hours.  I feel less tired than yesterday but still not ready for action.

I did feel inspired enough to bring my laptop to Utopia and caught up on some poetry reading and a little writing.  I may do some more lesson planning.  I should, but I also may not!

Today I’m grateful for:

My old friends from When Chimps Attack.  I messaged Tommy recently after he had posted a picture of himself and Aaron at a show in Sydney.

Tommy had been in London for the past ten years or so but he said things were so grim there now that he came back but that he was struggling a little bit on his return too.  I told how I had felt there back in October – pretty similar.

Tommy also passed on Aaron’s email address and I wrote him today and look forward to hearing from him.

I know Jon and Ama live in Sydney again and wondering if Aaron has moved back too?  A Chimps reunion?

The best thing about today was:

Playing guitar after a couple of days break.  I managed to improve a little on last time and I felt good for that.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Around 4pm I went out to my room to catch up on some emails and play guitar.  Amy came out about ten minutes later and propositioned me.

As I had just sat down to do something else I was hardly in the mood, and these days I’m less in the mood a lot of the time.

My libido is definitely dropping off and I have no thoughts of looking elsewhere for satisfaction.  I love Amy and am committed to her but it’s not easy for me to just put myself in the mood these days. This is not helped by Amy usually propositioning when she has been drinking which isn’t very flattering for me.  Are beer goggles needed to look upon me now?

Having said that, when the time is right for both of us I still have the best orgasms that I’ve ever had with her.

Sadly, today she seems to be offended by my rejection and has locked herself in the second bedroom and won’t even communicate anything.  I was frustrated enough to try and kick the door in but gave up, considering that it would make things worse.

What happens next when she comes out?  I will try to just behave as normal and ignore her actions and try to smooth things over when she has calmed down.

Something I learned today?

All the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are set to 4:20.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave candy to both Art’s at Utopia this morning.

Whilst I was there Amy called me because I had taken the car as I had planned to do some work at Utopia and wasn’t sure if it would rain or not.  Amy suddenly decided to go for a spa and massage and needed the car immediately, so I drove back home and swapped over to the motorbike to go back to my coffee.

I took this picture because I’m trying to get this plant to grow over the top of the old roof frame. With the rain, it will grow like crazy and I just need to keep going along the beams.

Hot, So Hot and Wet – 30th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Once loving to hug and hold
Long ago days of rain and cold
But now, if the truth be told
The winters burn hot

In a switch, the summer scorch
Sees retreat from the porch
From the airconned room reports
Let’s siesta until twilight

Finally, the storms arrive
Life returns to bloom and thrive
Another year we survive
Thanks to the monsoon

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 45 – season

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again.  Got up and exercised and am now out for coffee.

A couple of days ago when I was moving the tree I got bitten by an ant on the inside of my little finger and now it is distractingly itchy.  Because of the location it’s not easy to get a nice satisfying scratch on it and it’s super annoying.

Today I’m grateful for:

Art lending me a backpack that I can use on Sunday to go to Bangkok.  I also found out that Monday is a national holiday so I don’t have to worry about not being back in time to start work!

Also, a sneaky little doze whilst listening to video discussions on YouTube whilst Amy did the watering and washed the car!

The best thing about today was:

Watching more of Three Body.  I’m loving the slow pace of it.  It seems each April holiday is marked by watching some TV series or other whilst avoiding the heat.  A couple of years back it was Narcos.

I think last year though I ended up playing Xbox more than watching TV and I actually had planned to do that this year but in the end just didn’t bother.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was on a roll and in the zone whilst sipping coffee this morning, first reading, then inspired, then writing.  But I started to feel a little dizzy and knew I needed to come home and eat.  Otherwise, I would have loved to have stayed longer and written more.

Tomorrow I won’t have so much free time as we will be running around most of the day doing things for Grandmum’s 100-day ritual.

Something I learned today?

Israel’s prime minister Netanyahu is likely to have an arrest warrant for war crimes issued by the International Criminal Court.  Whilst it is likely just a symbolic gesture and he would unlikely ever be arrested at least it shows the world stands against him.

Russian president Putin also has an arrest warrant issued by the ICC but that was instigated by USA propaganda and that is all falling apart.

The world is starting to rise against the genocide perpetuated by Israel on the Palestinians and supported by the USA war machine.

Also, last night I watched a video from Thai Talk with Paddy and he was presenting 12 things that he didn’t like about Thailand.  Whilst many other farangs agreed with some or all of his points there were others that I couldn’t believe just how self-righteous they were.

I don’t understand how you can say someone’s opinion is wrong.  You don’t have to agree but you must be smart enough to at least counter their opinion.  These days people don’t bother to do that just believing that they are right.

I don’t know why this particular video and comments stood out to me, maybe it’s been accumulating for a while.  I will cut out this view of negativity as much as I can because it is just a waste of time and energy.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Noey and Natalie were in Utopia whilst I was there this morning and they were preparing for a presentation.  I wished them luck.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

I did as much of the exercises as I could this morning though I am weak in certain (most) areas.  3 sets of 60 lunges had to be cut down to 3 sets of 40 and 3 by one minute of static Superman I just held for as long as I could.  But I didn’t skip or give up.

I took this picture because I’m hoping this tree can survive the move from pot to ground.

A Contender – 23rd April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Breathing life into existence

To many, a home and hearth
How can I put up resistance

Grounded here in the earth?



I hold the rings of truth
Seen the men come and go
One hundred years of youth
And still with more to grow

Taking me in my prime
I could’ve been a contender
Spread wide this shade of mine
In a canopy of splendour

Chop away at my base

Until heard the split and crack

A pole to be in another place

I guess I’m coming back

Submitted to NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again though getting up was a struggle but I did it and made it to my room to exercise. Hopefully, the positive effects of that become apparent to my brain today, or I may just nap!

Today I’m grateful for:

The Mad Muscles app that I downloaded but cancelled because it really isn’t much better than the free app I use.  

As I had paid for a month though, I will keep using it and take that as motivation.  I’ve adapted the exercises to allow for my weaknesses and sore bits too.

The best thing about today was:

Watering the garden in the late afternoon.  The ground is so dry that it’s difficult to even see how just a little bit of water from our hose can make any difference to the bigger trees.

The many mangoes that budded are starting to suffer and shrivel up so I want to try and give that tree more attention. I’m jealous of a couple of small mango trees I saw last week that had loads of healthy fruit.  I want that too!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I sent a couple of tapes to a customer in Australia a couple of weeks back.  They contacted me today saying that they’d received the package but that it was open and empty.

As I had run out of tapes with that order, I asked the bands in Bangkok if they still had copies and asked them to send a replacement which I’m grateful for them doing immediately.  I transferred the cost straight away too.  Sorted.

I had another order to send to the USA and included a second tape as a freebie.  I took it to the post office expecting it to cost about 250 baht ($10AUD) but it was 463 baht!  It’s doubtful I’ll be able to sell much online anymore with shipping prices too expensive now.

Also, I guess what I wrote below applies here too.

Something I learned today?

Sadly, Anchan found out today that her mum will be in prison in six months.

Earlier in the afternoon she asked me to send her some money because she was desperate to contact her mum.  She said she needed 300 baht, along with 200 baht that she had, to be able to talk to her.  I didn’t question this but can imagine it being some kind of backhander needed to make the call.  If she had another use for the money then let it be.

Anchan is pretty sad about the whole situation and it isn’t one that a 14-year-old should be in.

Despite all that, earlier in the day she wanted to contact her program leader at school to make plans to welcome the new grade 7 students at the beginning of the semester.  I put them in contact.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Helping Anchan (see above).

Running Amy around in the stinking heat to get her food.  First to the bingsu shop which was closed (we ended up at a different, disappointing dessert shop).  Then later to get her noodles for dinner.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

I can probably write this every day that I exercise but there was a point this morning where I wanted to give up. I made it through.

I got frustrated with guitar again today.  I did keep going for a little bit longer but not too much.  Never mind.  I did ten minutes I guess.  A little bit every day.

I took this picture because I wanted some photos from around the house to send to Sharon and also Rob.  The frangipani trees seem to revel in the dry heat.

Always Going Home – 30th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Outside, the sheds, rotting,
With stores of coal
And wood for the winters

Stray cats brought their kittens
to the secret stash of beers
Stolen to curious teenage lips

The washing hangs from the kitchen ceiling
Dried damp infused with boiled pork
At least the rain can’t get in

There are Proustian moments
of potpourri,
The lotions on the bathroom shelf

Creaking stairs and creaking doors
You’ve been here for hundreds of years
Standing as a home

That scary sloping floor
Will it one day fall on those
grandparents sleeping below?

In my pit
Corners of dirt, carpets of dust
How many skins I shed there?

The icy windows stuck shut
I settle under covers thick with
this year’s sweat

My love of the comfort of your walls,
crumbling as they were,
Left when I did

Submitted to dVerse – Buildings

Today I’m feeling:

More reasonable today though still not breathing properly and have itchy tired eyes.

I slept for almost 12 hours though it wasn’t all good sleep but I was happy to at least have the opportunity anyway.  Getting up late meant that the day disappeared fairly quickly.

After coffee, I came back and watched some videos before a delicious experimental lunch that Amy made of roasted vegetable lasagna but instead of lasagna sheets using soft tortillas instead.

Then some more 3 Body Problem, more videos (I didn’t move much today!) then I made it to my room to play guitar but I wasn’t quite in the mood but still managed about 25 minutes.  My room is super hot in the afternoons now and I need to go there and play guitar in the mornings when my brain feels more alert!

I’m also reminded that I need to get back to my Thaipod101 lessons now that I have some free time again.

And also I want to do some study around active listening.  I figure that after 56 years on earth, I might actually start listening to what other people have to say!  Of course, I may find out the opposite too.

Today I’m grateful for:

The cowman from a couple of doors down.

This evening I was about to go out and close the gate and noticed something black on the grass.  On closer inspection, it was cow shit!  When did that get there!  We were out in the garden in the afternoon and it wasn’t there then.

I grabbed a torch and walked around the garden just to check that whatever visitors we had had gone before going to close the gate.  When I got to the gate it was already shut.  I figured that a cow must’ve come in and the cowman found it, chased it back out and closed the gate behind him.

The mystery was soon confirmed by our CCTV system – a mum and calf with the cowman chasing them out!

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s lunch and then in the evening, Amy’s delicious peach crumble with chocolate ice cream.  What a lucky guy I am.  Or was I just smart enough to pick the best person for me to marry?

Something I learned today?

Last year in the world happiness index, China was number 1, followed by Saudi Arabia and then the Netherlands.  In this year’s report neither China nor Saudi Arabia were in the top 30.  That’s strange!  It turns out that even though their data was collected it wasn’t used in the final report meaning a white Western nation (The Netherlands) is the happiest in the world.  At least, if you cherry-pick the data to your agenda.

Also, whilst watching the Netflix 3 Body Problem it seemed fairly obvious to me that the ‘China Bad’ narrative was highlighted intentionally.  It followed the book in that it was a Chinese woman who made contact with the aliens but as the rest of the series wasn’t set in China, as most of the book was, it bluntly exposes Western audiences to a message of ’look what the terrible Chinese did.’  Sigh.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent more messages out to students about their holidays. Checking in with them.

Paen sent me another message out of the blue talking about ending her life again.  I wrote back quickly but still haven’t had an answer.  I just sent her another encouraging message. I hope she’s ok.

I took this picture when closing the gate a couple of nights ago. Is this a blood moon or air pollution?

Where Is Goldie? – 2nd March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Leapt up
To breathe hot air
A fish out of water
“Mommy, where has Goldie gone to?”
Came the sharp cry from the distraught daughter
Searching the scene, the empty bowl
From the sofa’s safety
Then mommy too
Leapt up

Submitted to dVerse
Form inspired by this poem at Poetry Matters
“Rictameter is a scheme similar to Cinquain. Starting your first line with a two-syllable word, you then consecutively increase the number of syllables per line by two. i.e. 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 Then down again, 8, 6, 4, 2 Making the final line the same two-syllable word you began with.“

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good after a long sleep, cold shower and coffee. Even a sudden change to plans doesn’t phase me today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding that the car seat covers that I would like to buy will be discounted tomorrow for the Lazada 3.3 Sale.  

Now I just have to remember to order them sometime tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

Sharing two plates of different Bingsu with Amy after lunch.  One was red syrup on milk ice, the other taro. A nice and refreshing sweet cool down.  This time of the year the world turns yellow and the green goes missing.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The change of plans was out of my control but didn’t bother me at all.  I’ve come to expect changes at a moment’s notice now and accepted that things will not always go the way that I hope.  

As I still count myself very lucky to have a lot of time for myself it’s not a big loss to give some of it up for things that come up.

Something I learned today?

The Chiang Rai train station (if it ever happens) will be somewhere between the city and Wiang Chai.  

There are also plans to upgrade the airport starting next year.  Things are up and running again after the fuck around of the pandemic.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Amy changed our plans for the weekend after being invited to travel to Toeng on Sunday.  We will still go to the city in the morning for Grandmum’s 100 days since passing and then she’ll head off with her friends.  

This meant that instead of relaxing at home all day today we had to go to the city to take the truck to get fixed and find shirts for us to wear at Amy’s brother’s wedding in a couple of weeks.  It also meant an extra journey to the city and back this weekend and I was hoping to save on petrol.  This month will be tight for money again.  

Anyway, as usual, I just got on with it, listening to Amy complain about how hot it was and telling myself not to complain about the weather (despite it being complainable about!)

I took this picture because two days of hot weather signifying the instant change from winter to summer has seen buds breaking through in Amy’s mum’s garden.

Imagine – 7th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

In my head
I lost my mind
Imagining red
Colourblind

Absent a shadow
No friend follows
A poisoned arrow
No more tomorrows

No peace of mind
Imagined I
None could find
Or satisfy

Coming back
To my senses
None so black
Beat my defences

Submitted to dVerse

Today I’m feeling:

A little sick with a sore throat and lack of energy.  I skipped my alarm and exercise for an extra 30 minutes of sleep.  I’m hoping not to have to do too much at school today.  I could do with an afternoon nap and I’m saying that now before it’s even 8 am.

(10 am) And there we are, the tipping point.  Lazily wandering from place to place and eventually being told there’s nothing for us to do today.  So here I am back at House for coffee number two.

Today I’m grateful for:

Lots of free time in which I could read, write and learn whilst sipping coffee and then later spending a couple of hours reading comics in bed, where I did indeed, enjoy an awesome afternoon nap.

The best thing about today was:

Hanging out with Michael and David for a little while this morning and then lazily walking from school to where some of the kids were doing the zip-line and we watched for a few minutes, ducked away and walked back again.  The temperature was ok for the most part and once off the highway, the walk was quite pleasant.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The typical dysfunction of Scout week activities at school used to bug me but now I listened to how they bugged David instead and accepted the advantages that we can get from it.

Something I learned today?

Andrew Huberman is into Rancid.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  13. Be Nice. I don’t mean you should be a pushover. You can be someone that doesn’t take shit and be nice about it. Just don’t insult people, think you’re better than them, or act like an idiot.

I’m a lot nicer than I used to be.  I don’t insult people or think that I am better than others anymore but I probably am still prone to acting like an idiot every now and then.  One would hope that we are all a lot nicer than we used to be but then you meet some people…..

I took this picture because these flowers have decided to grow, against the odds.

Walking In Darkness – 26th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Without the light, it’s easy to submit
Wild and brave men no longer thrive
Those empty spaces are full of it
Desperate hands grasping to survive

These men bleed, kept in silence
There’s no longer a world to save
Tired of all the endless violence
In darkness rot the men so brave

Inspired by this post at John Coyote’s blog
17th Dec 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – darkness

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more awake this morning after struggling to get up.  I really wanted to sleep more.  I noticed that my stomach has lost a little more excess flab so I’m happy about that.  Keep going.

Today I’m grateful for:

The receptionist at the dental clinic who happily changed my dental appointment from next week to mid-February because, and I told her this, I don’t have any money to pay until I paid again.  We both talked in a mixture of English and Thai and could understand each other clearly and I wai’d her my thanks as I left.

The best thing about today was:

…well, it seems strange to call this the best thing but it is certainly something that stands out. 

For my last grade 7 class of the day, I asked the kids to log in to the Quiz on their phones.  Aomsin, who was sitting right in front of me in the front row, said she couldn’t because she had no battery.  I explained to her in English that I told the class many times that for my class they must always have enough battery and good internet access. 

Aomsin’s English is not that good yet though and whilst she could tell that I was being serious she clearly did not understand the details.  This was Friday afternoon, the last hours of the day and I was feeling laid back and playful.  The other kids could sense that.  I told her that I take away 5 points in the system if they are not prepared. I was smiling and had no intention to do that but wanted her to know that she should always be prepared.

Anyway, I translated into Thai for her so she could understand and she nodded and looked down at her phone.  Gunn, sitting next to her, looked at me, looked at her and then looked at me again.  Aomsin then started talking in Thai, sounding like complaining-explaining and looked back up to me, with a slightly pleading face and then I saw a tear fall down each of her cheeks. 

I couldn’t believe it.  I wiped away each tear and said ‘Hey, come on, it’s not that serious.’ Again, she didn’t quite get it.  I comforted her and told her in Thai that I was only playing with her. 

Gunn cracked up laughing at her but I wanted her to feel better.  Then she started really balling her eyes out but also laughing at the same time.  Laughing and crying at herself and her friends.  It was like she really wanted to feel an emotion deeply but also realised how absurd it was.  She was smiling and laughing but couldn’t stop herself from crying. 

Other kids started paying attention and couldn’t understand why everyone looked happy and smiling but Aomsin was crying.  Gunn quickly offered a solution with his charger (why didn’t she just ask him to borrow it in the first place!) and even that couldn’t settle her down.  Gunn talked some more to her and I went and attended a couple of other students before coming back after a few minutes. 

She had settled herself by this time but when I asked her to do the quiz she said she couldn’t yet.  I got down on my knees and wai’d her my apologies many times over and both she and Gunn cracked up laughing again.

I guess it’s a good lesson for me that not everyone gets the vibe or feeling of the class and whilst I can be quite strict about what I want I’m not so often angry about anything. I can sense Aomsin is sensitive, not just in my class but in general and I should be aware of that and make sure that she understands when something is playful or serious.  I could be wrong but I don’t think she was really upset with what happened and maybe there were other things going on for her and she was having a bad day and this just tipped her over the edge.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After picking up my coffee and making sure to be back in school for first class I was wondering why the building was so quiet.  No kids!  What’s going on? You can read more below.  How did I handle it?  By taking the free time opportunity to write here.

Something I learned today?

This morning my first class was delayed as there was something going on.  As I was in the classroom ready to teach I decided to go and find out what it was all about.  It was about the upcoming election for a student to the school board. 

I walked around and ended up talking with Jet and asked her who she would vote for and why.  I then asked if she would want to run for election when she was in grade 11 and she said ‘Why would I want to do that!?’ 

Ok, I said, who do you think in your class would be suitable and she thought Anchan.  She said Anchan is a little older than the rest of the class and can control them quite well.  I wasn’t too surprised at this as I could see last year that she had some leadership qualities if she chose to go in that direction.  It was interesting to hear this from another student though.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan a positive message based on what Jet had said above, to show my support and pride in her.  I told her to keep going. (Just as I told myself this morning – keep going!)

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 6. Keep a Journal. No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.

Journaling has only become a habit since moving to Thailand and somewhat inspired by starting 1994ever to document my year in 1994.  Because I have ended up with fewer external things to do I have had more time to develop this habit and it doesn’t feel like a chore like when I was a teenager trying to keep up a diary.  As the idea states you become a better thinker and that is what I want to be.  Yesterday’s idea was about strengthening the body through exercise, today is about strengthening the brain through journaling.

I took this picture because we had to cut our three big trees down as the roots would fuck up the buildings. It looks so strange and we’re a little sad because they were big healthy trees that gave a lot of shade.

Leashed – 21st January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Obedient to a master
Every day I’m called good
Is it a lie, a deception?
How am I to be, how I should?
Dance and beg for treats
But I got to the eats

I will not strike out
I will not forge my own way
Rolling over or playing dead
I will stay
All this time doing well
Makes no reason to rebel

inspired by this cartoon at Existential Comics

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good though it was a struggle to get up as I had enjoyed a couple of drops of cannabutter last night that knocked me right out.

Today I’m grateful for:

Go Nuts chocolate bars.  They are kinda like Snickers but cheaper as they are manufactured in Thailand (I guess).  They are smaller than a Snickers bar so I usually end up eating two at a time but even then they are cheaper.  I still like a little something sweet after a meal, kinda just finishes it off for me.

The best thing about today was:

Spending a couple of hours in my room listening to new music and finding new songs to try and play on guitar.  I also enjoyed being in the garden watering all our plants.

Something I learned today?

I saw a message posted to our department messaging group that there is something going on in the morning tomorrow which maybe means a change to our classes.  I’m hoping to arrive at school tomorrow to find out my class is cancelled! It’s no big deal if it’s not but a bonus if it is!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I shampooed Tigger again just before lunch and he put up a little more of a fight this time but I managed to get it done without any scratches, thankfully.

As mentioned above, I watered the garden whilst Amy was enjoying watching a TV show and after that, I came in and fed the cats.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
1. Struggle Is Good. Never say “I can’t take it anymore.” Say “Bring it on!”

This has taken me a long while to realise and embrace, although looking back I can see that I did this often. 

I have a capability to endure certain things that others might not. Conversely, I’m sure others are capable of enduring things I cannot. It is the attitude towards this struggle that I embrace more now so that I might look forward to the difficult tasks. 

I tend to visualise and actualise the feeling of having completed something and being able to relax, satisfied that I had done something.

When I was a teenager, so long as it was something I was interested in, I could start big, wild projects that could occupy my time and mind. These things didn’t feel like a struggle. Without realizing it I soon discovered that it wasn’t always the satisfaction of finishing something that made me feel good but just the doing of it. Over time this meant that I could take on tasks that were less interesting to me because I would just enjoy the doing, the struggle of them.

When I ask my students to write out a few paragraphs of text I enjoy taking note of those who complain and those who just get on and do it. This reveals a lot about their attitude.

These days, having a space that I love to rest my head at night, I can rationalise all discomfort at uninteresting tasks knowing that when the sun goes down I have a place where I can relax and do the things that are interesting to me.

Whilst I would rarely say ‘Bring it on’ I am no longer afraid of the challenges that confront me.

I took this picture because this tree’s red flowers turn brown before splitting open and revealing their seeds. This is the first time I’ve actually noticed the seeds inside.

Beautiful Mess – 6th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Standing here amongst the detritus
This is certainly a lived-in room
The treaties of the past are scattered
Across a floor that’s never seen a broom

There’s an unused TV in the corner
Hoping the remote will be found one day
Tho’ full of dust, it’s fuller with love
A satisfying sty in which to laugh and play

inspired by the memory of living in Mick’s house – more detail here

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but relaxed.  Amy stayed at her parent’s last night and much of today and after coffee, hanging out washing and shampooing Tigger I slowly watched the day disappear reading, watching TV and not much else.

Today I’m grateful for:

The discounted milk protein drinks at the Lotus store – three for the price of two.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing reading Wuthering Heights, which I enjoyed much more than I expected.  I love finishing one book because it means I can start another! 

I also started reading China Underground at Utopia, the first two stories of which reminded me a lot of my time meeting people in China and to realise how much the world, and I, have changed since.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There is some family drama going on that I have absolutely no control over and so the best I can do is to comfort Amy and help her with figuring out the best way forward. 

It’s a frustrating situation that goes deep into Thai culture and societal norms that involve blind acceptance of the patriarchy. 

Whilst I knew about this, it is uncomfortably close to home this time.  It is also making me feel even more for the female students that I teach and wonder what of their future.

Something I learned today?

Our avocado tree is infested with giant hairy worms that are eating their way through the leaves.  I have to warn Amy to stay away from there as she will surely be allergic to their hairs.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I fist-bumped the staff at Utopia and the girl customer whom I have seen there a few times before and smiled and acknowledged most everyone else who came in whilst I was there reading and drinking my coffee.

Apart from that I didn’t have much interaction with anyone else today, even online.

I took this picture because these little fucks are difficult to see on the tree. There are five visible here and 100s more out of focus.