Tag: garden

Bucket Of Life – 11th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s a labour of love, not big dreams
But about what being human means
Sticking a dollar in the cup, passing through
This is all a gift from me to you
And back again, that’s our reflection
Open to each other’s introspection
In for a penny, in for a pound
Let’s pass the bucket of life around

Today I’m feeling:

A good vibe. This morning is not too hot. I lazily prepared for the day by rolling back and forth in bed due to stiffness finally getting up and mosying along to Utopia for a delicious throat-soothing coffee. Art told me about his ride to Doi Ang Chang and it looks like a great ride so I messaged Bruno to plan to go there next weekend.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s dad feeling good enough to come out to Central and eat at the seafood restaurant there, where we treated him for his birthday, Amy’s mum for selling her apartments and Nong Aun (Amy’s brother’s girlfriend) for getting a job as a teacher here.

The best thing about today was:

The first coffee was pretty spot on. Meeting Baipad’s mum, sister and three super cute cats was fun.

The fish speciality at Laem Charoen was delicious for lunch. The afternoon and evening are a relaxing chill-out. It’s been a good day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My sore throat was getting me down a little at times today but I finally got to rest a little for an hour or so after lunch and it’s improved a little since taking some medicine. I dealt with it by soldiering on and despite feeling a little grumpy I don’t think it showed that much.

Something I learned today?

A theory behind renewed conflict in the Middle East is to cut off oil to China. A terrorist attack is said to be rumoured on US soil that will trigger them into war with Iran.

This whole ridiculous idea seems more likely every day. The US is putting all its pieces into play in preparation. The US is isolating itself more and more from the rest of the world and the rest of the world is looking forward to its downfall.

Whilst people were scoffing at the idea of the end of the Empire last year, this view is now going mainstream.

What’s on my mind right now?

This morning I will go and meet my student Baipad and her mum to introduce myself as her teacher. She lives in our village and since opening up to me about her struggles with being bullied in primary school and her father passing away a few years ago I’ve tried to encourage and support her. As she lives close by I suggested that once a week I can bring her home from school and hopefully introduce her to Amy so she can pick up on some confidence-building skills and keep up her English, which she is pretty good at in general. 

I took this picture this morning because this oversized asparagus-looking plant is so big that I had to wide angle the shot to get it all in the picture. The multiple mini flowers are cute though not the spectacle-worthy of a stalk growth of this size.

Toltec Agreements – 26th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 24 Comments

Conditioned to live up to the image imposed
Wasting time searching for perfection
Society’s dictates are not as supposed
So stand tall to issue a rejection

Blow away the prejudice clouds
One’s own nature is found only in fact
Forget about the opinions of crowds
Practice how to think and act

Words are as powerful as bricks
Their poison remembered forever
Fall not to the devilish tricks
Of the twisted dogmas made clever

Heal the wounds held within
Another’s reality can no longer touch
Getting even is considered a sin
And never accomplishes much

No questions asked, assumptions arise
Understand and be understood
The best is the one who always tries
And whatever the result, it’s good

8th Nov 2024 – Shared with dVerse OLN #373 and What’s Going On

Today I’m feeling:

Super tired. I’m not quite ready for an early start and return to school tomorrow yet. But, that’s my new reality so it’s going to happen whether I’m ready or not.

Today I have to clean up my man cave and move back in. Amy will be happy to have me out of the house! 

Today I’m grateful for:

My working desk that almost fell apart as I was trying to move it out of the house. It did break in a couple of places but there are enough bits holding everything in place that it can still be safely used.

The best thing about today was:

The satisfaction of scrubbing the floor of my man cave clean and getting it looking almost new again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It seems there’s a problem with my stereo that keeps muting the sound at what seems like random times.  Also none of the USB ports were working on my computer after the move. I’m dealing with it by trying again tomorrow as I’ve run out of energy this evening already.

Something I learned today?

Israel’s bombing of Gaza has killed 35 UN workers helping refugees, destroyed 20 UN buildings, bombed the safe spaces they advised Gazans to go and it looks like they’ve also killed 50 Israelis that were recent hostages. It looks like they wish to completely wipeout Palestine and that will probably draw others into a bigger war.

And at the same time as the USA is arming and protecting Israel, Americans are busy killing each other in their own cities. 

Can this world find any peace?

How do I utilize my strengths on a daily basis?

Patience is the main strength that I get to utilise every day. Monday to Friday at school and then back at home with Amy for the rest of the time. I don’t mean to imply that I need to be patient all the time but that it will be tested at various times during the day.

I took this picture because the pandan has really grown over the last month and outside our back door now smells delicious!

Making Space – 24th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s treasure in the gaps
The white space of waiting
Suddenly an idea snaps
Into the place of creating

Here’s the room for thinking
Running between two places
Eyes open, no blinking
Look into the empty spaces

Removed from daily disarray
The thoughts now flow free
Consider all to do and say
Use the tools to think and see

All these things are at hand
To keep tidy the mess of the mind
So when things don’t go as planned
Peace is still easy to find

inspired by various posts by David Elikwu

Today I’m feeling:

Uncertain. I was having great interesting dreams all night and a 7.30 alarm was upsetting but here we are again with the get up and go. We had to come to the city as Dad has his first day of chemo. We had to run around a bit and take his dog for a walk. I had to go to immigration too, where they told me to go to the head office in Mae Sai or go over to Laos to re-apply for a visa. It’s so annoying but I’m trying to apply my practice of going with the flow.

I can understand that reality changes for us all the time and now I’m in a new reality where I have to do a certain set of actions to move forward. That’s all this is. It’s up to me if I choose to be frustrated and annoyed.

If I can keep thinking like this then these days will be smooth. I also need to counter Amy’s complaining about this and other things in general. She’s already light-heartedly talking about going back to Australia!

I usually don’t react too much to her complaints but things can build up. 

Breathe. Calm. Practice.

Today I’m grateful for:

My agent Nancy, who clarified for me what I need to do next to reinstate my visa.  I’ll still have to mess about getting an extension to my now-current tourist visa and possibly have to go out of the country and back one time, but that’s what will have to be done. Nancy offered to do a working visa through her but it will take just as much effort as us doing the spouse visa again. I just sent her a thank you message as I was writing this.

The best thing about today was:

Playing with the neighbour’s kids for a few minutes. They were waiting in our entertainment area even though Amy told them I was sleeping. I wasn’t actually sleeping but just chilling in the air-conditioned bedroom. They were so noisy though that I roused myself and played with them and communicated with them as best I could. There are two boys and one girl.
The boys are pushy and chatty, the girl, quieter and more respectful. They like to be lifted up to hang on my gym rings though I have to make sure I catch them when they want to let go. Yesterday the girl said she was too scared to try it but I told her she could do anything that the boys could and today she did and was proud of herself.
A few minutes later, through visual cues, she understood that I wanted to catch the smaller boy and turn him upside down. I couldn’t get close enough but she coaxed him over until he was within reach. She was thrilled and they were all giggling. Smart girl.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The visa situation could’ve gotten out of hand with Amy already a little stressed about having to run around for Mum and Dad but ultimately things settled down as we got on with everyday things.

Something I learned today?

The colour orange was named after the fruit. In English, at least, I suppose.

I took this picture because I don’t recall this tree having flowers like this last year. My memory is not the best though!

Who Wears The Crown? – 23rd October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Where the waters glisten night and day
With all the pearls of wisdom on display
There’s a bridge over untroubled waves
That draws the diamonds a gambler craves

Awash with stories, a rain with dice
There are twenty floors of a winner’s advice
A promise of the life richly deserved
Park your dreams in the spot reserved

Pearly smiles are this devil’s greeting
The chase of the highs is forever fleeting
One more roll, one more spin or turn
The future is no longer of concern
From the shore or dreams, ships depart
Into the mists of the broken heart

Today I’m feeling:

A little anxious about all the things that need to be done when we get back home but also thankful that home is there waiting for me.

(Later) Amy was straight into cleaning mode so I dashed out for coffee revival at Utopia. Once back home though I got sucked into the whirlwind.

Today I’m grateful for:

The hotel staff who helped us in the morning, the taxi driver who told us about his BYD electric car, the Thai Smile check-in staff who was very helpful with our bags, the airport staff we interacted with, the pilots for flying us home, the cabin crew who gave us a snack and water, Aing for picking us up at the airport on time, Now for washing the car (badly but I appreciate the effort), Art for a great first coffee home, the seller for his fish for our dinner. All the people in and out of my space that didn’t kill me today.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling positive and content despite all our running around. Getting back to our home was a little strange for a moment but when I jumped on the bike to go to Utopia I suddenly felt free again. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Aing and Now had two friends staying over and asked if they could stay for a couple more days. For me, it doesn’t really matter as we are still busy running around and Amy didn’t have any problem either except when we met them they didn’t say anything except hello. Amy was upset about that and I tried to rationalise it away. It’s pretty Thai style but still…

Also, despite us just getting back we had to drive into the city for dinner at Amy’s parents as her brother was here for the weekend and flies back early in the morning. It was literally, drive there, eat and drive back!

Something I learned today?

I caught up with all my Substack reading over the last couple of days so lots of stuff went into my eyes and possibly made it to my brain. I think I read one article twice without even realising it. Anyway, one thing that I do recall is a breakthrough in quantum computing. I don’t understand exactly what the machine was doing but the computation took one-millionth of a second whereas it was estimated it would take our current fastest supercomputer ten billion years to complete! That’s outrageous! But will it be useful? Time will tell.

What’s my earliest childhood memory?

I’ve answered this before and I’m a little curious if I would say the same thing now. It must be something from living in Bransty, Whitehaven. I have quite a few memories from there but can’t quite put them in order. The most important memory is from when I was 4 years old (and I even wonder now if that’s right but I’ve made it that age over the times I’ve recalled it) and crying because I didn’t want to die. I assume this may have been triggered by talking to my mum about why I didn’t have a father like other kids. Learning about death is pretty traumatic for a four-year-old.

I took this picture because I’m back home and our giant asparagus plant thing is about to do something. I don’t recall there being amazing flowers but it’s obviously part of its reproduction cycle. The other one that grew before hasn’t flowered again since it did back three or four years ago.

No Longer Delighted – 10th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The golden age has been and gone
We danced those glorious times away
Left exhausted after the final song
The fat lady now has nothing to say

Revival is just a nostalgic fail
That feeling cannot be repeated
At least alive to tell the tale
Yet feeling sad and defeated

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired and unmotivated for most of the day. A good reading day. I feel like I might be able to force myself to do a little workout after talking with Amy and before eating something.

Today I’m grateful for:

The tool (name unknown to me) that was lying around the garden (used previously to try to break down the termite mound in the front corner of the garden) which I used to dig out the tough grass that the gardeners were too lazy to get out from in between the bricks outside the kitchen. The temperature around 5 p.m. is nice now so I’ll try and do a little in the garden. This ended up replacing my exercise for the day.

The best thing about today was:

Reading Clive James’ biography about his childhood in Sydney. He lived in Kogarah which is just a suburb away from my first Sydney home in Allawah. Although I only recognise a few of the places he talks about I can get a feel from my own memories of the area.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My motivation was lacking today and whilst I did a few things I hardly feel like I accomplished anything. I suppose I don’t need to feel like I accomplished things but I often feel like there are lots of things I could enjoy doing but can’t push myself to get up and go.

Something I learned today?

The city of Birmingham in the UK has declared bankruptcy. Things don’t seem too great there at the moment.

What are the most important moments in my life?

Boiled down to basics this would be moving countries and meeting the girls that I would spend my life with, for better or worse.

My old friend Fatty would often criticise me for changing my behaviour when I had a partner and from his perspective, I’m sure there’s some truth to that. I guess because of my father dying I felt my life was missing something and subconsciously knowing that one day my mum wouldn’t be there anymore, I held on closely to my girlfriends.

In my mind, I can kind of divide up my life into who I was with at the time. These people are obviously important to me.

I found this picture online because I was chatting with Baipad about pets and she said she liked border collies. Smart dogs. I still pine to have more animals but not knowing what the future holds makes it difficult.

Sculpting – 3rd September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

With a hammer in hand
Chiselling at the stone
Crafting at the life planned
In one’s thoughts alone

Painting cloudless skies
To fall down to this earth
Daydream a new surprise
Meaning defines its worth

An artist in every way
Reflecting deep-held traits
When words can never say
The statue silently states

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good but in some pain. I fell asleep on my back last night which was pretty unusual for me but I soon woke up needing to pee. Back to side sleeping, my shoulders ached me awake again a few times so when my alarm went off I wanted to sleep a bit more but then I was feeling pain on the left side of my jaw as my rotten teeth decided it was time to tell me to go back the dentist. With needing to pee again it was time to get up. I still managed to motivate myself with a 100 star-jumps and out to have a day of coffee, reading and ironing.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to watch a funny podcast on YouTube that made ironing 17 shirts more pleasant than normal.

The best thing about today was:

I found out Hayden has a new girlfriend called Vashti and I was surprised to hear that she is Aboriginal. I’m not sure why I find that surprising. I only ever met his first girlfriend who was a stereotypical pretty blonde-haired blue-eyed girl. He sounded very happy today and looking forward to his new job doing support work which he is hoping to start in the next week or two.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In general, the garden is out of my control or more specifically it is too big and I’m too lazy to get it under control fully. My priorities lay elsewhere. Handled by Amy asking if we needed the gardeners to come again to which I replied ‘Yes!’

Something I learned today?

Having removed a ton of YouTube subscriptions I returned to Little Chinese Everywhere and Yan’s journey from Europe to China. This time she was in a small Georgian village nestled in amongst rolling green mountains. One particular interaction stood out to me when the old lady owner brought breakfast and Yan said thank you in Georgian and the old lady gave her a hug and said thank you in Chinese. It reminded me of the goodness within most of humanity.

What mystery fascinates me?

Ultimately the mysteries of the truths of the world. Growing to be more aware of histories written by victors or manipulated by those in a position of strength I’m left contemplating what it is that I know that is true. So many lies are so often repeated these days and so much information and counter-information is available. What is it that I should believe?

Mysteries of origin, the universe, the planet, humanity. How can it not entertain the mind? The existential mystery of meaning.

The mystery of what I will eat tomorrow.

I took this picture because I found Tigger sitting here in the unkempt grass and though his colour is stark against the green in this picture he somehow blends in and would be difficult to spot for unsuspecting critters wandering by. Here he just seemed to be enjoying the sun after dinner and looking a little majesterial.

The Review – 28th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Not so easily impressed these days
I’m still glad of what you’re doing
I remember those times and ways
As I often find myself reviewing

So go ahead and tell your tale
As has been done many times before
One day recognition will come
You too can review the score

Today I’m feeling:

Much better after the sleepy weekend. My exercise felt easier this morning and I hope that continues throughout the week. I was also happy to be back at school and to see everyone. My students help improve my own emotional well-being.

Today I’m grateful for:

The receptionist at the hospital who advised the doctor I wanted to see only worked in the morning today but would be back tomorrow. It was a simple exchange but even that can be a struggle with our language barriers. Her English was better than my Thai but with a mix of both, we sorted it immediately. I’ll go back tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

Having a reasonably long discussion with JubJib, mostly about other students.  She’s a smart kid and her English is excellent which is a rarity at school so it was nice to be able to have a complete, flowing conversation for a change. We’ve talked often before but usually get interrupted quickly just with there being so many kids around.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Watching a replay of yesterday’s AFL game between the Swans and the Demons. Finally, a game in which we played really well though we lost. This, after the last six or so games where we haven’t been that great but managed to win. No games this coming weekend and the following will see us play Carlton in Melbourne. Likely to be a quick exit for the Swans this year.

Something I learned today?

Yesterday one of my students posted a picture of her arm after she had tried cutting it. I talked with her today and she didn’t say anything (she’s VERY quiet usually) but I told her that if she did want to talk then I would be there for her.
She was very happy in the class today though I’m uncertain if it was because I talked to her or if there is something worse going on at home that makes her happier to be at school.
I thought this because a few students have told me they prefer to be at school rather than at home.

What is an upcoming milestone worth celebrating?

I’m not a big celebrater or care about milestones particularly. 

I had plans to have a big show for my 50th birthday in Sydney but when the time came I was living in Adelaide and working night shift, and Amy was in Thailand. 

I’ve not been big on birthdays or Christmas once I ‘grew up’ and I didn’t really get back into them when Hayden was growing up either. I kind of grudgingly did it!

If 60 was thought of as an upcoming milestone in still not sure how I would celebrate it. I don’t need a milestone or celebration to be happy. I’d rather just be contented all the time.

I took this picture because I was shocked to see this sudden tall protrusion from this plant. This one is growing even bigger than the one we had a couple of years ago. When the hell did it grow like this? I feel sure it wasn’t there yesterday!

Bad Foot – 7th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There is no bad foot
When putting forward
The only way is back

Once it’s understood
It’s no longer awkward
To stumble along this track

Today I’m feeling:

It’s been a good day with lots of well-utilised free time in the morning, a quick hang-out with students, a class and home again to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 3 through the dodgy Thai websites. 

My exercise in the morning definitely put me in the right frame of mind for the day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The aforementioned dodgy Thai websites for making current movies available for free. There’s a small chance that I would’ve watched this in a cinema but if Amy hadn’t mentioned it I probably wouldn’t have even known there was a third film in this franchise.

The best thing about today was:

Catching up on blog updates including an old diary entry from 1984 that a quick chat with Rupert helped remind me about. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When I woke up this morning Cap followed me into the bathroom and as I sat on the toilet brushing my teeth he carefully got into the litter tray but left his butt hanging over the edge and so ended up pooping on the floor. I held my nose and cleaned up after him wondering how he is so stupid sometimes. He’s cute but stupid. 

Also, I haven’t had time to play guitar for the past three days but know it is there waiting for the right time. I don’t feel like playing so much whilst Amy is around. I think she is going out tomorrow evening so I may get a chance then.

Something I learned today?

New Zealand has decided not to join the AUKUS defence alliance which is a bit of a snub to the USA and has folks predicting a soft CIA-manipulated coup there soon. I’d like to think that was unlikely but at the same time, I heard a great diatribe about the CIA-trained students in China that turned the peaceful demonstrations in Tiananmen Square in 1989, which were initially just general grievances about economics, into the violent riots that saw rioters kill at least 300 unarmed PLA soldiers attempting to clear the square before tanks were ordered in. The more I hear and read about this event the more I’ve changed my opinion about what happened.

What am I looking forward to this week?

Bruno just contacted me about a ride at the weekend and if the weather isn’t good then just to grab coffee somewhere. Amy leaves on Friday and whilst I’m looking forward to my last seven weeks of relative freedom I’ll also miss her being around again. Despite our petty annoyances with each other, we have a lot of fun.

I’m looking forward to a bit of free time tomorrow morning too, to catch up on some reading and writing.

And as mentioned above I’m looking forward to playing more guitar.

No new pictures today so this one is from last week. Another angle of the dragon fruit plant flower, which still hasn’t turned into any fruit. I like the colours in this one and the light raindrops. The flowers end up looking soggy after a bit of rain as if they were made of paper.

Aspirations – 2nd July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We invented the Joneses
Something to aspire
Keep on the treadmill
Tweaking on desire

Bold, beautiful and rich
A mansion in the hills
Chasing after a life
Defined by constant thrills

Today I’m feeling:

Yesterday I felt like I was on a bit of a high but today feels the opposite. I can’t quite figure out why. I slept well enough but perhaps not long enough as I ended up back in a deep sleep from 11:30 until 2 pm. Since then I’ve not been enthused about anything and passed an hour or so pulling up weeds.

Today I’m grateful for:

Noey’s coffee. Now she is capable of making a perfect cappuccino for me. I like to think that I contributed to her improvement by always allowing her to make my coffee so that she can get more practice, though in reality there is obviously more to it than that.

The best thing about today was:

It’s almost 6pm and there is nothing of any real highlight except for Noey showing off her belly button with the clothes she was wearing. Or the satisfaction of a square metre of the garden weed free for a week or two. It’s not been a bad day either. Just not much of anything.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been getting an aching pain in my eyes. Also a vague toothache around my jaw. Maybe I’ve got some sinus problem or perhaps even just a bad tooth that is causing pain elsewhere in my face. It could also just be looking at too many screens. I should probably go get my eyes tested at some point again. I don’t feel like my vision has gotten worse but a new pair of glasses might help. 

When I look at my glasses I always see a speck on the left lens from when they dropped on the floor in Kimi’s bathroom not long after I first got them. 

Something I learned today?

Watching Little Chinese Everywhere as she(Yan?) travels to Tibet and the second-highest hotel in the world. The highest being in Peru. The scenery in Tibet is quite amazing.

What is a fear that I would like to overcome?

I suppose I still have plenty of fears but not sure I feel the need to overcome them. For example, my fear of spiders is not particularly life-threatening or would be life-changing if I overcame it.

I was chatting with Ellen yesterday and she had just been tandem skydiving in Sichuan province. I’ve thought about doing that before but feel afraid. The fear is not of the height or hitting the ground, the fear is about losing control, fearing fainting or heart attack or something like that.

Still though, it’s not like a fear of skydiving is holding back my dreams in any way.

I took this picture yesterday because I’ve never been on this side of the dam at the university before. The whole university grounds environment is exceptional but doesn’t seem to get much use. It’s too hot or wet most of the time and you need a motorbike to get around. The only thought I did have is that there are many places you could go for a romantic walk, talk or view. I don’t know how much of that happens here though.

In The Palm Of Our Hands – 1st July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

An ugly glamour
The softest skin
To the world unwise
Set to begin
Eyes forever west
Where the age awaits
Flowers first bloom
Mark those dates
Love unknown
Imagined, anticipated
Promises broken
Soon tortured and hated
In the cemeteries
Lives long since lived
The sands of time
Slowly being sieved

inspired and morphed from text at the Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Woke up in a rush as I misinterpreted my alarm settings and only had ten minutes to get up and go to meet Bruno for coffee at Utopia before exploring around the grounds of the university. It was a good way to kickstart the day. I’m flagging a little now at 5 pm but will keep going with some guitar practice.

Today I’m grateful for:

The mimosa and cardamon candle that is burning and making the room smell nice. I was able to buy it online and get it delivered quickly to my humble little home in this tiny village in the jungle hills of Thailand. My ten-year-old self, my twenty-year-old self and even my thirty-year-old self would not have anticipated the possibility of me happily laying in this room at this time. Well done me.

The best thing about today was:

Going on a discovery bike ride around parts of the university that I haven’t seen before. The site is huge and the campus buildings only take up about a tenth of it. We even biked through Wanasom Wellness Center which looks like it was once a nice place but looked run down and dejected though there were a couple of people about but they didn’t seem to be doing anything.
So many fancy buildings are put up and then fall into disrepair due to lack of use. I’ve seen some nice homes overgrown and dirty in what I can only guess were once family homes that perhaps folks moved away or died and were just unable to sell. I think that is likely to happen to our home in the end.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Nothing comes to mind today to except the frustration of the Swans v Geelong game ending up a draw. It’s looking doubtful that the Swans will make finals this year and if Geelong don’t make it too it will be the first time ever that both last year’s grand finalists don’t make the right in the year following.

Something I learned today?

I learned a little from Bruno about the weeds in my garden. He was shaking his head at the great variety that our poor soil supports.

What would I like to accomplish this month?

Maybe I should set some targets. The aircon should get fixed. I’d like to start working on a solution to the guttering problem in the garage too. Bruno says to try Mega Home in Bandu. I should go and just get an idea of the cost and possibilities at least. I guess I can include my visa renewal too as Amy will be back here soon to help with that.

I took this picture because Bruno and I came across this family when we were exploring the university’s botanical gardens.