Pretty flat and tired. Less dizzy than yesterday and my brain seems to be functioning reasonably well but I’m lacking energy and motivation.
Today I’m grateful for:
Two awesome coffees this morning where Nick was manning Utopia in Art and Noey’s absence.
The best thing about today was:
Watching the Swans beat Collingwood at the MCG (played on Friday) cheered me up, followed by watching the highlights of Ipswich beating Sheffield Wednesday 6-0.
As I was watching the AFL and thinking about how long I have followed certain sports teams and seeing how young they are, I was reminded of the time when I was the same age as the players and thinking I could’ve done that and that is 35 years ago now. Players have come and gone but the team maintains. How long will sports last into the future?
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m not feeling particularly hungry today so I only ate some snacks but did finish off the chocolate almonds.
Something I learned today?
In the UK, the Tories have let slip their true intentions for Gaza: they want Israel’s genocide to continue for as long as possible and they are worried about peace because the genocide is hurting Labour in the polls.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I did so little today and of no real consequence but I did accidentally trap Tigger’s tail in the door and he was understandably upset. I hope he’s ok. I saw him outside later but wasn’t able to check.
Sick. I already decided that I wouldn’t go to school last night and I slept for 11 hours and woke feeling no better. I grabbed some medicine which did help and when I finally ate that helped a lot too.
I have to go to the dentist tomorrow so I hope to be feeling better by then.
Today I’m grateful for:
Water. Over the last couple of years, I’ve watered the garden less and most things seem to survive from what they get during the rainy season.
Often now though our pump stops working and Amy believes it is because there is not enough ground water to pump up. I don’t think that can be the case though as there was so much rain last year.
Unfortunately, that means that there will likely be something else that is the problem that needs fixing.
At the moment we can just restart the pump and it’s ok again until the next time we want to water the garden.
The best thing about today was:
Watching the first episode of the Chinese adaptation of Three-Body Problem. It was pretty good and the second episode is free to watch online but I’m not sure if I’ll take the time to find and the rest to watch for free.
Something I learned today?
More Children Killed by Israel in Gaza War Than in Four Years of Worldwide Conflicts
More than 12,300 children have been killed in the Gaza Strip between Oct 2023 and the end Feb 2024.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I did some watering whilst Amy was busy with her family organising things for the wedding this weekend.
Along the road, we met, orphans of the storm Cursing the life to which we were born Sitting on these steps, desperate and forlorn Soon alone again, an orphan of the storm
Cap woke me up three times during the night, to let him in and out of the bedroom. Another time I needed to pee and then the birds started singing and my alarm zapped me up.
I contemplated snoozing but pushed through and struggled on with my intermediate abs exercises. I felt good about that and the cold shower but then as I was listening to my students doing pairs reading I found myself tired.
Fortunately, they were all called off for the second period to practice for the ceremony on Thursday to wish farewell to the grade 9 and grade 12 kids, giving me an extra hour free today!
Today I’m grateful for:
Max from Ad Interim contacting me again to see if I would like to help with their second album.
I’ll give it a listen first but have no issues working with them again as they paid back their first album loan within six months of receiving their records.
I’m extremely grateful to be asked to help them again.
The best thing about today was:
Nong Freya being the only student who came to my class today and still wanting to be taught.
I guessed that the class were practicing for the ceremony on Thursday and as she is somewhat excluded socially in her class I’m guessing either no one told her to be doing that or that she chose to come to class instead. Either way, if she wants to study then I will teach!
Being just one-on-one makes for a lot of clarity and ideas to be shared. I was able to see how she worked and thought about things (we were just doing a simple gap-fill exercise) and I also got to hear how well she can read, something which I don’t often get a chance to do in normal class time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As described here, there were a few surprises thrown at me today and I handled them pretty well.
Something I learned today?
You can hear a blue whale’s heartbeat from over 2 miles away. Their hearts weigh roughly 180kg.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I replaced the light bulbs in the garage and at the front of the house today.
I helped Amy by carrying some ceramic pots to where she wanted them in the garden.
I got pens for two of my forgetful students this afternoon, whereas normally I would deduct points from them.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 25. Take Action. Don’t just sit there, do something. Without action, there is no outcome.
I have followed this mostly, sometimes out of spite or contrariness, proving that I can do something, either to myself or to others and other times out of a desire to inspire; if I can do it then anyone can.
All the action has amounted to me being here, where I am in the world. Generally happy and satisfied.
I took this picture as a follow-up to yesterday’s picture as the flowers end up falling on my car.
You burned down our house But home is in our head We marvel at the pyres And warm ourselves instead
We are the free ones Wandering and wild Whilst you guard your toys The spoils of the child
For all the sermons High up on the mount You carry more burdens Than anyone can count
The title refers to the Dangerous Girls song ‘Step Out’ that repeats the phrase “demolition”. The first stanza refers to Edison watching his factory burn. ‘Wandering and wild’ refers to Wasted Youth’s album titled “Wild and Wandering”. The burden is a reference to what Israel will carry once they have completely destroyed Palestine. 8th May 2024 – Submitted to dVerse Poetics
Today I’m feeling:
I felt pretty good after getting back from coffee but whilst settling into some reading some felt sleepy and had another three hours rest waking up again at two pm
Today I’m grateful for:
The shop where we sneakily parked our car and decided to get out and walk the rest of the way to the festival.
The best thing about today was:
The atmosphere of fun and pleasure at the festival. Folks were having a good time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Taking an hour and a half to get to Singha Park for the balloon festival, stuck in traffic for more than an hour and missing any sunset photo opportunities. At least I could listen to my music whilst in the car.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I remained patient whilst stuck in traffic (and hungry)
I took this picture because we had a nice spot by the lake to watch the balloons being inflated though it was a little windy for them to go up tonight.
The orange sunrise Perfectly reflected on the blue sky sea Turning back inland It’s a destruction from the river to me
Still, I have my god That promises to set my children free The skies alight Where the others’ god wishes to be
The river run dry Across those borders, we must flee The honey glaze Shines so that’s all anyone may see *The honey glaze On a fine crust of tolerated misery*
My regular Saturday exhaustion though Amy didn’t give me the opportunity to wallow as she had me up and busy as soon as I got up. By the time I got to coffee at midday, I was dying for it.
Today I’m grateful for:
Time spent in the hammock reading about Britain’s colonisation of India. The sun is still a little low so that the remaining trees still give some shade though the ants, spiders and flies did get annoying.
The best thing about today was:
At the winter festival, Amy was shocked at the tiny crop tops at one of the stalls and said ‘Oh my god, who can wear a top like that?’ And as she said that she noticed a girl wearing a similar-sized top and finished off with ‘Oh, a girl like her.’ I looked and saw a small skinny girl looking cute in a tight crop top. And it was then that I noticed that she is one of the grade 11 students that I often talk to. And Amy was surprised to see me fist-bump the girl she was just talking about admiring.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy was cranky from the get-go this morning and I came close to losing my cool but took deep breaths and soldiered on through, knowing that at some point it would be over and things would be good again.
Something I learned today?
Word is that the local council want our road widened before the rainy season starts which is good news though it will be a little inconvenient for us for a while.
Though we’ve been waiting for this before Amy starts thinking about doing business on our land it has become apparent that since the end of COVID, most students have not returned to the habit of going out and staying out to eat drink and talk like they used to. Many businesses are selling up due to a lack of customers after 8pm.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Amy asked me to pick up some plumber’s tape to fix the joint under the sink. I was on my way to my first coffee but picked up the tape and took it straight home so that she can fix it quickly.
At times I was short in my replies to Amy as I was echoing her behaviour back to her but I shouldn’t do that.
I took this picture because here was another cat in the window above the eatery next to Utopia. That means at least five cats I’ve seen in this window and I know that there are also two dogs.
The year went by again Once around the sun And everything remained the same With the exception of one
In this world of déjà vu Everything has all been done The only difference is you You’re the exception
Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and lazy. I seem to have fallen right into the holiday mood. After coffee this morning, where Boss made an appearance and I was able to wish him well for his business adventure, I watched football until lunchtime and then after lunch played Fallout 4 until it was time to leave for New Year’s Eve dinner at Amy’s parents.
Today I’m grateful for:
The Mini Big C at the Caltex on the way to dinner, where I ran in, in need of a snack due to dizziness and picked up a sushi triangle, a banana and a Snickers, all reduced in price so it only cost me 34 baht.
The best thing about today was:
Playing Fallout 4 without worrying about wasting time. It’s a very enjoyable distraction that I don’t usually treat myself to. I still have lots of old games from years ago that I haven’t tried to play yet. I figure there might be time…
Something I learned today?
‘Unconfirmed’ reports indicate that lots of weapons found in Gaza are Chinese. Well, how convenient! Twenty-twenty-four, or Twenty-twenty-war? Zoom.
I feel some consolation that fewer people are falling for Western propaganda these days.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Designated driver tonight.
I helped lay the table as others prepared food. Everyone understands my capabilities!
I took this picture because Cap came and sat on my T-shirt whilst I was playing Xbox. We looked everywhere for Tigger this afternoon and he had managed to sneak into the walk-in wardrobe and curl up in a box.
Forgetting how shadows fell to the ground When winds blew the dust without a sound A solution so final was finally found And everyone thought ‘never again’ But it wasn’t a matter of if but when
Good in the morning after excellent coffee and a pleasant drive to Paew’s shop for the blessing lunch which was fine until I started to flag at about one pm.
I came home first and hopped into bed listening to jazzcore as I like to do on lazy weekends. I let the crazy music guide me into light lucid dreams occasionally lulled deeper.
Amy woke me up with all her friends coming back here to carry on the drinking and celebrating which is fine with me so long as they leave me out of it. I’ve hidden in my cave until it quiets down a little before trying to get to bed.
Today I’m grateful for:
Paew’s dad who is always happy to see me and practice his English despite every time I see him he is drunk and says the same things over. I can feel that he is sincere though.
The best thing about today was:
Finding that there are two new issues of Love and Rockets to read and also grabbing the last year’s worth of 2000ADs which I may get to reading in about five years’ time at the rate I’m going. I love comics.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy was happy that I was not bothered about her bringing her friends home to party despite me not feeling 100% and tired. It’s not a big deal. Our house is ideal for entertaining and has only been filled with me and the cats for most of the last two years.
I noticed a bit more recently that my hearing has deteriorated and I especially struggle when there’s lots of surrounding noise like there was at the lunch this afternoon. Maybe it will encourage me to listen more carefully.
Something I learned today?
Paew and Mee will go back to Bangkok soon. We thought that they might stay a while longer but it seems that despite living with their family the internal politics are causing them problems that are easier avoided by distance. We hoped they might just move out of the family home and stay somewhere nearby but that seems to have changed.
What is my favourite song right now?
I don’t listen to songs over and over like I used to. The only time I do that now is when playing along to songs on my guitar to practice my playing. I could still list about 50 songs that are favourites in that regard.
What are my personality traits?
I’ve been kicking this one along for a week or so. As the question is worded, my flippant answer is ‘all of them’ as surely we possess all the traits to some degree or other.
As I searched for a list of traits online to guide me to answer this question, it seems established that there are five main traits but diving deeper provides lists of anywhere between 20 and 721. So I thought I’d find an online test or two and see what the internet thinks my personality is.
Even this was a little disconcerting though as depth is difficult to consider. A question will trigger a memory where I would strongly agree or disagree with it at that particular time.
Yes, I need to answer the question as I feel about it right now but the past also has contributed to my current personality. All the doubts and worries of the past that I no longer have have made me what I am today.
First result:
Advocate INFJ-A
Advocates are quiet visionaries, often serving as inspiring and tireless idealists.
62% introverted – Introverted individuals tend to prefer fewer, yet deep and meaningful, social interactions and often feel drawn to calmer environments.
Advocates (INFJs) may be the rarest personality type of all, but they certainly leave their mark on the world. Idealistic and principled, they aren’t content to coast through life – they want to stand up and make a difference. For Advocate personalities, success doesn’t come from money or status but from seeking fulfilment, helping others, and being a force for good in the world.
59% INTUITIVE
41% OBSERVANT
Intuitive individuals are very imaginative, open-minded, and curious. They value originality and focus on hidden meanings and distant possibilities.
47% THINKING
53% FEELING
Feeling individuals value emotional expression and sensitivity. They place a lot of importance on empathy, social harmony, and cooperation.
63% JUDGING
37% PROSPECTING
Judging individuals are decisive, thorough, and highly organized. They value clarity, predictability, and closure, preferring structure and planning to spontaneity.
71% ASSERTIVE
29% TURBULENT
Assertive individuals are self-assured, even-tempered, and resistant to stress. They refuse to worry too much and tend to be self-confident when striving to achieve goals.
I’m not going to disagree with these results but also can’t help feeling that they seem horoscopic in that the words are generalised to a point that they could apply to anyone.
Second result:
The Lively Center of Attention
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the centre of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.
This quiz was much less academic than the first. I can adapt the results to apply when it comes to dealing with my students but they don’t seem to equate much to the results of the first.
Ok, let’s try one more. This one is way more detailed.
Third result
Well, I took 10 minutes to answer 100 questions and at the end, the website wanted 20 dollars before giving me the results. Never mind.
What does that tell you about my personality? I’m a cheapskate and what some website thinks my personality might be isn’t that important to me.
No picture today once again but Hayden sent me this shot from his recent trip to Paris. I’m glad he’s getting to see a bit of the world.
Still dizzy. Even dizzy during my poor sleep last night as my body aches made me uncomfortable. Wondering how serious this might be. But I still pushed through morning exercise hoping that that may get me going. Not quite. Will see how I fair today.
Today I’m grateful for:
Funfai bringing me a food gift. Unfortunately it was pork so I had to return it though I made sure she knew I was grateful.
The best thing about today was:
Finally feeling better by the afternoon after sinking a cup of water with electrolytes. I’m not 100% yet but at least I don’t feel as if I might fall over now.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My first class this morning was a bit of a test for me and I almost lost it but I think the kids sensed it and were unusually quiet for a little while which softened me a little. I also recalled a daily reminder I have set – “Be grateful for what you have, for it is a gift that can be taken away at any moment.”
Something I learned today?
Some musicians I have worked with in Germany before are rushing to release a compilation to benefit women struggling through the war in Gaza. There are only four days to submit and I don’t think anyone I know would be able to commit to that. But in an effort to be useful, I passed the message on to the current folks I’ve been working with on the Jorando Del Muerto release.
Who is the wisest person I know?
I keep seeing this prompt and thinking it says who is the worst person you know!
The wisest….?
Even people I admire I don’t consider all-wise, all-knowing. Everyone has their foibles. And everyone has some wisdom. Take the best from people so that you can learn. Try everything until you figure it out for yourself.
How am I different than I was a year ago?
Change seems slow until you look back from further in the future. I don’t feel as if I’ve changed much at all in the last twelve months. I can see very minor improvements when I look back at diary entries and think to myself ‘Oh yeah, I remember doing that’ and then making decisions about where to go from there.
Answering this question for five or ten years ago would be much easier to analyse.
How am I stepping outside my comfort zone?
I’m not doing this too much these days but I can think that forcing myself to exercise is outside my comfort zone even though I’ve been doing it regularly for a couple of years now. I’ve been taking cold showers since about March and still going at the moment, testing myself to see how far I can make it into winter. I will go and play tennis with Funfai once a week, just for thirty minutes, despite my aching old bones. I’m still not often comfortable in the classroom either. I’m still learning everything.
Positive and relaxed. The calm before the storm. Back in the classroom tomorrow. Looking forward to it.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the folks who have been diligently working on putting together the Jornada Del Muerta 12” over in Turkey. I can see it has been difficult for them to organise and all I’ve had to do is just send money when necessary. Hopefully, the packages turn up safely though I don’t expect to have anything for Friday which is the release date.
The best thing about today was:
Getting a haircut. My winter cut. The Lady was very busy today as the locals were all bringing their kids in, as many go back to school tomorrow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy and I went up to the book fair at the University this afternoon. Before we left I’m sure I heard her say it was at the library so when we arrived nearby I headed off in that direction. When we got there there was nothing on and Amy asked me why I came to the library!
She was annoyed with me but at the same time didn’t know where the fair was either. We got pointed in the right direction and as Amy grumpily walked back I was happily enjoying the perfect temperature and the beautiful smell of evening flowers in the air. It was good to be able to walk anyway.
Something I learned today?
Leaked documents show that Israel deliberately shot its own people when Hamas attacked them on October 7th, blaming Hamas for all the deaths. Just to justify the genocide they are now carrying out in what is left of Palestine. Other documents show plans to remove all Palestinians from Gaza and into Egypt.
I took this picture because MFU sure is photogenic at this time.
Conditioned to live up to the image imposed Wasting time searching for perfection Society’s dictates are not as supposed So stand tall to issue a rejection
Blow away the prejudice clouds One’s own nature is found only in fact Forget about the opinions of crowds Practice how to think and act
Words are as powerful as bricks Their poison remembered forever Fall not to the devilish tricks Of the twisted dogmas made clever
Heal the wounds held within Another’s reality can no longer touch Getting even is considered a sin And never accomplishes much
No questions asked, assumptions arise Understand and be understood The best is the one who always tries And whatever the result, it’s good
Super tired. I’m not quite ready for an early start and return to school tomorrow yet. But, that’s my new reality so it’s going to happen whether I’m ready or not.
Today I have to clean up my man cave and move back in. Amy will be happy to have me out of the house!
Today I’m grateful for:
My working desk that almost fell apart as I was trying to move it out of the house. It did break in a couple of places but there are enough bits holding everything in place that it can still be safely used.
The best thing about today was:
The satisfaction of scrubbing the floor of my man cave clean and getting it looking almost new again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It seems there’s a problem with my stereo that keeps muting the sound at what seems like random times. Also none of the USB ports were working on my computer after the move. I’m dealing with it by trying again tomorrow as I’ve run out of energy this evening already.
Something I learned today?
Israel’s bombing of Gaza has killed 35 UN workers helping refugees, destroyed 20 UN buildings, bombed the safe spaces they advised Gazans to go and it looks like they’ve also killed 50 Israelis that were recent hostages. It looks like they wish to completely wipeout Palestine and that will probably draw others into a bigger war.
And at the same time as the USA is arming and protecting Israel, Americans are busy killing each other in their own cities.
Can this world find any peace?
How do I utilize my strengths on a daily basis?
Patience is the main strength that I get to utilise every day. Monday to Friday at school and then back at home with Amy for the rest of the time. I don’t mean to imply that I need to be patient all the time but that it will be tested at various times during the day.
I took this picture because the pandan has really grown over the last month and outside our back door now smells delicious!
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