Wonderland – 25th October 2023

Pinned to the floor, mouth full of dirt
Listening carefully for the next scream or roar
Unable to feel hurt, waiting for a hand
To pull back up to the new wonderland

No feeling in the toes, eyes red and wet
Blood pulses slowly down the nose
It’s not over yet, a forever-shifting sand
Every day a vision of this wonderland

Darkness surrounds, night is as day
Sharing space in these sacred grounds
Desperate again to play, desperate again to stand
Amongst the ruins of this wonderland

In and out of sleep, time for final dreams
All the promises no one was able to keep
Who knows what it means when it was all planned
And the devils came to play in this wonderland

24th Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango


Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy but alive. As my body slowly revives from another rude awakening I’m sitting outside watching birds searching through the long grass for snacks or useful detritus for nest building, which I’m grateful to see they are taking full advantage of all our trees and safe nooks.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aing, Now and their two friends who helped look after our house and cats and best of all were very quiet and gentle so that us and our cats weren’t disturbed.

The best thing about today was:

Sushi buffet for dinner that I had saved up my hunger for, only eating a couple of pieces of bread around lunch time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Having our house back to ourselves has set Amy off on a cleaning frenzy despite being tired and full after dinner and this leads to lots of ‘do this, get that, get this, do that’ to which I oblige and after a little while say ‘anything else?’ hoping that there isn’t!

Something I learned today?

Talking with my student Baipad I found out that she is part Lahu and of Chinese descent. I only discovered this when she told me she was staying in a village somewhere and when I looked it up it was the Lahu village that Bruno and I stopped at the time we rode out to Tha Ton.

What’s an opinion I held for a long time but changed?

When I was younger I ignorantly believed in freedom and anarchy. I say ignorantly in that I just didn’t know enough about it but I believed in the good of people in general, to help each other and make it work.

Age brings cynicism! I understand the appeal of less governance but ultimately I feel as if it is from the perspective of Western self-centredness and that leaves a lot of places for some to be left behind. Over time I’ve come to appreciate the ‘benevolent dictatorship’ of China, if I can call it that.

A well-governed country may not satisfy everyone when it comes to freedom but it seemed ironic to me when visiting that there was a feeling of more freedom in China than there wass in Australia (though I appreciate this was speaking as a guest).

Thailand is also way more relaxed in its rule of law, which has its upsides and downsides, of course. The government here is also not quite so benevolent to its people, or as well organised.

Governments that are corrupted are the scourge of the planet. It doesn’t matter what form the take. Corruption is the key.

No Subjects – 16th October 2023

With no subjects, you are no king
Perhaps just the king of nothing
No one to serve and bring
To give your life the desired meaning

Addicted to looking on down
From the belltowers of the town
An arsenal of words to deploy
The superiority for one to enjoy
The minions though, now vacated
The unknowingly abdicated


Today I’m feeling:

I managed to sleep around midnight but kept waking up, eventually getting up at 9.30 but not really waking up until coffee and breakfast at 11. Even so, I think I could sleep again now. I miss the times of long good sleep, about two weeks ago!

I got a photo from Noey yesterday of her and Art in Utopia without me, where we all usually are on Sunday mornings.

Today I’m grateful for:

Dave and Mai to pick us up and pick up Amy’s things that she can’t bring back to Thailand, drive us into the city and enjoy breakfast together.

The best thing about today was:

A general feeling of calm and well-being, noticed particularly when sitting in Three Wise Monkies as Amy drank a red wine and I looked out of the window as folks struggled with the sudden cold wind and rain.

Something I learned today?

Israel advised people to leave the North Gaza Strip before they would bomb there. That’s nice, isn’t it? Then, they bombed the people as they were out in the open leaving. There will be war forever in Israel. Even when Palestine has disappeared completely, the Zionist agenda has made too many victims.

I took this picture because I was quite impressed with this view from the top floor of Myer.
Fatman report