If you really wanted to do it, you would have done it already; If you’d really thought through it your ship may have sailed steady
Yet here you are with swollen eyes begging help from the lovely skies; You’ve got a blessing in disguise, it should have come as no surprise, the things you really wanted you didn’t want at all.
Today I’m feeling:
A little stiff and aching from the last four days of slovenliness but in a good mood, especially to see my students again. I’ve worked out a fairly easy plan for this week to ease us all back into study gently.
Today I’m grateful for:
Having 196 baht left in the bank so that I could still get out 100 baht from the ATM and buy a 12 baht pack of gum today. I hope to get paid soon because I don’t have enough money for petrol which will run out tomorrow!
The best thing about today was:
Despite getting distracted with making new lessons whilst at House enjoying coffee, I still had time to catch up on some reading and writing and went back to school for afternoon classes feeling good.
Something I learned today?
In the process of my students making cards I checked the messages they were writing just to make sure their English was ok but couldn’t help noticing some of the nice sentiments that they were showing to their friends, family, crushes or partners. It was quite heartwarming and endearing.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I let my classes relax into the new year by making cards and didn’t stress too much about them being late or playing on their phones.
I offered myself to teach an extra class now that Kru Wave has left. I got in quickly before anyone else, both to show willingness and also to be able to choose the time that suited me best.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
Nothing is too serious to be joked about depending entirely on the environment and circumstances. No one should ever be upset with anything a comedian says on stage. One can either find it funny or not. Nothing is taboo in this case. But to repeat the same jokes in an inappropriate situation would not be smart.
Gam took this picture because today I had my classes make cards to give to people offering them best wishes and Goya (pictured) and a couple of others made them for me. Goya wanted photographic evidence of presenting it to me so here it is. She’s grimacing because I was poking her in the ribs so that she would smile instead of pulling faces like she was doing before. Her card was funny because she thanked me for teaching her and asked forgiveness for being stubborn and not paying attention in class.
I’m seventeen today I’ve learned very little so far Don’t expect so much This is the way we are
I’m only seventeen This is no time for babies The future so uncertain My life so full of maybes
Yes, I’m seventeen Full of doubts and bluster I can do anything With the energy I can muster
I’m already seventeen Stop telling me what to do I can do what I want I don’t need to listen to you
I’m dead at seventeen My life already done Everything a disaster Will eighteen never come?
I’m still seventeen Inside an adult insecure Learning all about life Always growing more
Today I’m feeling:
Back to normal though I still have some phlegm on my chest but it doesn’t bother me now. I’m feeling good and positive mentally too.
Today I’m grateful for:
The bread shop at Big C that has a black sesame mochi-bread type thing that is a yummy snack and then a little chocolate pastry that I follow up with. It’s a small treat for myself sometimes.
The best thing about today was:
Having a reasonably simple but long (for me) conversation in Thai with Goya about the colours of the day in Thailand and the colours of the shirts we were wearing and our shirts for sports day. It was only as I walked away I realised that we’d been speaking in Thai the whole time and I felt a little bit proud of myself. I’m grateful to Goya for that today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had a simple class in the morning and the kids were trying to catch up on work for their science class, which frustrated me at first.
I took all their work away telling them that there was plenty of time and that if they finished my class they would be free to do the work they wanted. They reluctantly agreed and most of the class completed the work with plenty of time to spare…. except three students who wanted to go to the bathroom and disappeared for about 20 minutes.
It is still a case of herding cats with some of these kids though they are slowly improving.
Something I learned today?
Brodie Grundy has joined the Swans from Collingwood. Amy used to mention how handsome he was whenever she saw him playing but she’s not so keen now he’s looking a bit older.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Once again I offered Earn some advice because she is shy to talk to the boy she likes. I told her that if she doesn’t talk to him she will never know how he feels. And if she does talk to him then she will know and whatever way he feels about is a positive outcome for her.
Really, she is not shy at all, she is just scared of rejection. She agreed. She then wanted to focus on how pretty she was. I told her that that is only one element of who she is and not to get so hung up on it. She appreciated my advice but I’m not sure that she is strong enough to act on it (yet).
Little Nicha is also crushing on a boy in her class but insists that he doesn’t like her. She is also too shy to find out. I talked to him a little today, asking if he liked any girls in the class but he is either too shy to talk about it or hasn’t even thought about it yet. The girls seem ready for ‘romance’ whilst the boys are stuck on football and video games.
I don’t know if I have the best advice for these kids but what I do want to get across to the girls is to be strong and independent.
I joined Baipad, Jan and Apple in the canteen at lunchtime and they also introduced me to their friend Chompoo. I tried to get them all talking about things in English as much as I could instead of looking at their phones.
Quote: “You’re only poor if you give up. The most important thing is that you did something. Most people only talk and dream of getting rich. You’ve done something.” – Robert T. Kiyosaki
I don’t consider myself rich though where I live others might consider me so. I still gauge things in Aussie dollars and in comparison, I’m not rich at all. Comfortable, I suppose.
I never really expected to be rich and when I dreamt about it I was fully aware it was a dream. I never thought to try and marry rich or even chase money particularly. I was lucky to have a very well-paying job for a few years and whilst saving some I also invested it into philanthropic art with my music label.
So all this time I was busy doing things, doing something. In fact, I even made a T-shirt that just had two words on the front ‘do something’. I had been practising this even before leaving England with my free pamphlet ‘Fuck Around’.
Whether you like something or not, you have no right to reply if you are doing nothing yourself.
One of the purposes of this trail of words on this blog is to look back at all the something I did.
I got this picture from August because my students were supposed to be working but hid themselves behind some stage props in the classroom and started their own little photo shoot. As the quality of the picture shows I caught them before they got very far. I told them that if they didn’t finish my work today I would send the pictures to their homeroom teacher and, sufficiently threatened, they mostly got on with it. It was an empty threat anyway, I just wanted to see my naughty students having fun. Pictured are Fah and Nicha (holding the guitar).
The old man looks like his life has been lived The stories contained in the lines on his face No more want except a smile and a seat What would you want to be asked in his place?
picture found in a newsletter but I forget which one.
Today I’m feeling:
Positive but a little tired what with it being the end of the week. I sure don’t feel like Fridays are a big day to plan going out and getting drunk anymore. Get home and read a book. What a boring old man but I don’t care. I’ll do what I enjoy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The iron and ironing board that I have located in front of the lounge to inspire me to sit and iron the thirteen clean shirts here too. I’ll watch something interesting or listen to music to make the passing of that time more entertaining. Anyway, I’m grateful to own this equipment and that both the board and iron have served us well for more than five years already.
The best thing about today was:
As I was leaving after my first class this morning I went to see David who was preparing for his class with 2/6. I didn’t make it in to see him though as different groups of kids came to talk to me. Goya appeared in front of me holding the cutest tiny kitten and I immediately grabbed it for cuddles. I couldn’t quite get to the bottom of why she had a kitten in class and I reluctantly gave it back. Still grieving for Kim and our boys getting old, both Amy and I have told ourselves, no more cats but it’s hard to think about when there are unwanted kittens everywhere all the time. Caring for cats so much has tied us down a lot though. Today Amy said that if we didn’t have cats we would be living permanently back in Australia already. I’m finding that difficult to think about as I am feeling so contented here right now.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had planned to spend my four free hours finishing off my grading files but when I tried to log in this morning our school was no longer listed in the system for some reason. I checked with another teacher and they had the same issue. It’s not like there was nothing else I could do in the meantime so it was only a minor annoyance and when I posted a message in our teacher’s group Kru Ren advised that the name of our school had changed for some reason and when I tried again I could get in. I updated all but one class and will get that one completed over the weekend. Bend with the breeze.
Something I learned today?
Amy messaged me that the face-tattooed German guy who ran the Bavarian bar in the city is now in a Bangkok jail and due to be deported back home to face murder charges from his time in a biker gang. I was not at all surprised by this news.
What am I looking forward to this month?
The end of it! The end of this semester and then preparing to go to Australia in October. I’m a bit tired today and started to feel a little wearisome to be teaching today though it’s enjoyable once I’m in class.
Kwang took this picture because I left my phone at my desk whilst I was helping other students. She is a smart independent tomboy, currently with a lackadaisical attitude towards studying. So long as she doesn’t go off the rails she’ll be good in the future. She also has a model-like face which she likes to hide with the mask and could be a child actor, model or somesuch. In comparison, this picture is not particularly flattering of me! Still need to work off some excess rolls of fat that accumulated during my prime years in Australia.
What does your world feel like? Is there still wonder in your eyes? Do you recognise yourself anymore When you hear the children’s cries? Can you describe this moment Even to yourself in thoughts? Or are you too busy thinking What may be in others’ reports?
Today I’m feeling:
Busy and positive. Even with only one class today I seemed to have little relaxed time though that’s not to say that it wasn’t enjoyable. I was at House most of the morning but filled that time with schoolwork and writing. I got back to school early and helped out a few students before class as well as getting some volleyball in with a mix of students I knew and others I didn’t. It was a lot of fun. Time ran away quickly.
Today I’m grateful for:
The lady in the next air con shop who I communicated with using translation and asked for a mechanic to come visit on Saturday if all goes well. I hope she doesn’t get scared off like the last shop.
The best thing about today was:
Watching one of my students, Goya, in Kru David’s class do really well at finding information within a text. David had been complaining about her before as her behaviour in class is not always attentive and he wasn’t convinced when I told him that she was quite clever at English. I was proud of her today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Whilst I was talking to Amy on video call Tangmo and Tigger were suddenly fighting on the terrace. I got them apart and Tigger ran off with Tangmo chasing and barking. They ran all the way around the teaching room and back again until Tigger got himself up a tree. I was quite impressed as I’ve never seen Tig run and climb like that before. The old fat furball still has some energy in him. I managed to drag/chase Tangmo out and close the gate before trying to coax Tig down from the tree. Eventually, I was able to get him down with help from the step ladder and he seemed to be ok though shocked and grumpy. Amy went off upset too but I reassured her that if there were any problems I’d take him straight to the vet. He seems ok now it’s later in the evening but I’ll continue to keep a close eye on him. That was a bit of excitement I could do without. I’ll keep the gate closed more often again now.
Something I learned today?
Apparently, China plans to build a military base in Cuba! Well, why not? China is surrounded by US military bases.
Who has had a significant impact on my life?
My mum, for being there; my dad, for not. Bronwyn, for helping me gain confidence and to leave England. TLJ, for being the kick in the ass I needed at the time. Amy, for being able to share a life without letting compromise get in our way. These are just very quick and minor thoughts, before bed.
I took this picture because cows were on the loose. This is just outside the school cafe.
Our fear of death is negated by our fear of living Buried underground with our fear of breathing Miracles abound and they never stop giving But our closed doors of perception have stopped receiving
Imagining differences is part of the madness of groups.
Robert Greene
Today I’m feeling: Happy but then lethargic after two cocktails with late lunch Today I’m grateful for: Having spare pots around to transfer a cactus that kept falling over. I’m quite proud I’ve managed to keep some of them alive since Amy has been away. This one is a hardy one that had got too tall and unwieldy. The best thing about today was: Talking, playing and having fun with all different students. It’s starting to feel familiar for all of us now. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? Another class today straggled in late but this time I just went with the flow, knowing that these kids wouldn’t react so maturely as the ones yesterday. It got them in the right mood to do my work and to be happily pushed along What cities do you want to visit? All of them. Why not!? I’m trying to think of a city I wouldn’t want to visit…
I took this picture because Goya was in a lively and artistic mood and apparently this is a drawing of me… She captured my shirt well! Goya is a smart kid but also a bit of a handful.
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