Pretty positive though my shoulder is giving me some gip. Something isn’t right in there and I can’t stretch or roll it out. I’ve done very little arm exercising for the last couple of months and may just try and push through the pain to get back to it.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy and everything she does to make our house a home. I don’t want to take her for granted.
The best thing about today was:
My grade 10s not turning up for class allowing me time to organise another classes’ worksheets, staple them together and gift them back to the students. I felt good doing that, even if they just throw their work away. At least I made the effort to present their work back to them at the end of the semester.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I lost my cool with Amy when she got overexuberant whilst drunk. She was in a good mood and playful but I was tired and eating and when I didn’t know what she was doing as she tried to put her fingers in my mouth I pushed her arm away. Unfortunately that then set her off and blew up into a fight. Now we are both in a bad mood.
I will try to make her feel better but also just feel like going to bed and sleeping already. I don’t have much patience for drunken antics these days, I’m old and tired when it comes to that. It doesn’t fill me with excitement anymore.
Something I learned today?
2024 marks a special year for cicadas in the USA. It is the first time since 1803 that two specific broods of cicadas (one that emerges every 13 years, and one that emerges every 17) should be emerging together. This co-emergence won’t happen again for another 221 years.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
My vile deed was pushing Amy’s arm away and initiating a tiff. I should have been (even) more patient or be more assertive in a different manner.
I bought some cream chup-a-chups to give to my grade 9 students for their graduation ceremony tomorrow.
I took this picture because I got home to melting cats (again!)
You became the master of money And accumulated great wealth Became a master of muscles And maintaining physical health But that final puzzle piece Is still hidden as if by stealth Couldn’t master your mind Couldn’t master yourself
Happy and relaxed, waiting for the sun to drop so I can do some watering again. I’m hoping for an early rainy season again but I think this year may be long and dry, unfortunately.
Today I’m grateful for:
Manus at the post office for always being helpful and friendly and trying to help me remember the Thai word for ‘registered’.
The best thing about today was:
A long chat with Amy about different ideas and plans for the future.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had just gotten on a roll with updating more blog entries when Fui came to House and we started talking. I’m never sure how long he will stay but I decided I had no hurry today and we ended up chatting for about 90 minutes. We often go over the same things but we learn a little more about each other each time. At points, I was keen to get back to what I was doing but I told myself to relax and enjoy this time.
Something I learned today?
You can buy a cock ring called the Tally Wacker that counts your thrusts when fucking. I’m not sure if it syncs with your health devices but maybe 100 thrusts equals a calorie?
What is one lesson I am learning right now?
We’ll have to generalise ‘right now’ a little because if taken literally all I’m learning is what I can remember from ‘around’ ‘right now’!
I’m learning a little how to relax and even be bored again. This week involves a lot of TV and reading, playing guitar and listening to music. Much like many other weeks but interspersed with even less teaching than usual.
It’s taken me a long time to learn to relax and in the back of my mind, I’m confident that when the time comes necessary I will be able to get right back on my game again.
I took this picture because I wanted a different angle to look at the garden. I like this mini bamboo plant that apparently cats like to eat. Not sure ours ever do though. The leafless frangipani has more focus than the other trees near it which are also now losing their leaves. The frangipanis are just starting to show leaves sprouting through now. You can also spy the tops of some of our cacti too.
It’s the 7th of February 2022 and I’m sitting in the cafe, Le Paradis, next door to CRPAO, where I am currently an English teacher. It’s scout week and us farang teachers have nothing to do for this whole week. I’ve decided to clock in, show my face and go home again unless anyone wants me to do anything.
I’m feeling pretty happy these days. Amy has been in Australia for a week now and has gotten herself a job already, which she will start in March, after travelling to Albury and Adelaide first to visit friends.
Tomorrow I will go to visit Bruno and Nut for dinner and on Sunday Aing and Now will come to stay for a few days, for Aing’s graduation ceremony. She will look around the area with the intention to start some sort of business here, which is great news. It will give us a local cat sitter that we can trust!
By the time you are reading this, it’s possible you are no longer working – that might even happen as early as the end of the semester in March. Whatever happens, it will be ok, though I’m enjoying having access to almost all my income for a change.
I am still thinking too much about George and the way he is treating me but I am slowly able to push it aside, made easier by just avoiding him at work. I don’t feel anything bad towards him. He obviously feels hurt by my actions towards him, which in my mind have been fairly minimal and understated. He seems to have a higher expectation and can’t deal with that not being met. At least that’s how see it, with the little that I managed to get out of him to try and find out his true feelings.
Everything I accuse him of, I can accuse myself. It doesn’t matter. We’re just not compatible but I don’t let that interfere with staying polite.
I have written many times about my ability to keep myself (my mind) occupied and I don’t easily succumb to loneliness. I would rather be alone than struggle to maintain a difficult friendship. Perhaps this is something that I will improve on in the future but I am happy with myself the way I am. Real, good friends will find their way to each other.
Do I want to tell you anything? Just keep going. You’ve done so well to get where you are now. This year is looking bright to me, right now, with so many possibilities. Some will happen, others will wait. I’ll go and make some music.
PS – look at your blog for this day in the past, over the years. Do you notice anything?
Sliding open the doors A comforting cool coats My bare arms The sun, still hidden Begins painting the horizon Dewy leaves tickle my toes A patient cat stretches Before balancing on my shoulders Soft meows multiply As others join in chorus Good morning boys and girl It’s breakfast time in heaven Miracles every day The bowls are full of food And water never-ending Eat, drink, sleep and play
Any man that takes money two ways would take it three ways.
Mrs Douglas, Stranger In A Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be part of Aing’s graduation ceremony today and to meet some of her family. And to meet Gus, Nu and Mink over these last few days.
“A person who knows little likes to talk, and one who knows much mostly keeps silent. This is because a person who knows little thinks that everything he knows is important, and wants to tell everyone. A person who knows much also knows that there is much more he doesn’t know. That’s why he speaks only when it is necessary to speak, and when he is not asked questions, he keeps his silence.”
-Jean Jacques Rousseau (via Tolstoy’s Calendar of Wisdom)
“I’m not sure of much of anything these days. Maybe that’s why I talk so much.”
-Robert Pirsig from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
I read these two quotes from different sources today, also reflecting on the ‘loud’ Thai people in my work environment and it was made more poignant as at this time they were congratulating two other foreign teachers for picking two correct numbers on the lottery. No one won anything that I could discern, as more correct numbers were needed but because they had two correct this seemed to indicate a mad belief in their fortune-telling skills.
This nonsense talk went on for a while and at a volume that chased any hiding cockroaches out of the room. I think for a lot of Thai people, it is all about the show and not about the reality. I’ve mentioned before my sense of this whilst living here. It still jars but rather than say anything this time, I tried to see things for what they were – and kept my mouth shut. (Until writing this, of course!)
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the foam rollers that help me to massage out any pain and tension in my back. Sometimes the relief is awesome – especially after sleeping awkwardly.
The best things today was that everyone was in a fairly happy mood as students were celebrating graduation. They all complained about having to wait, especially as the temperature rose up to 38 degrees or so.
It was a lot of fun to see everyone so relaxed. I especially enjoyed talking with Porpieng, Momo and Junior in the morning. I also talked with Baitoey and Bonus. Baitoey had written about her family situation and how unhappy it made her and how difficult it was for her to concentrate on school work. She wrote that she was depressed, her parents fight all the time – it seems her mum was only 17 when she had Baitoey – and her dad is not much older.
Baitoey had also thought about suicide. I told her my own dealings with depression and that she should know that she is loved – by me, Bonus and her friends. But also that she must consider her own love first and that is important when she can’t get it anywhere else.
I think she felt happy and relieved to write those things down even though it was so hard for her and she still can’t see a way out of the fog. I care about my students so much.
I taught online this evening and although I wasn’t really looking forward to it, even thinking of cancelling, it went well. Luckily this student is fairly capable and seems very motivated. Sometimes it’s hard to stay motivated went he student doesn’t really understand you or doesn’t have enough vocabulary to think deeper.
1994ever 