Tag: gratitude journal

She’s Back – 27th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

I’ve had a long shower
And I’m snuggled up with a book
I can hear strange noises outside
But can’t be bothered to look

I’m about to fall asleep
The room is dark and black
That’s when the screaming starts
And when I know she’s back

She turns on all the lights
And dances around the room
Jumping up onto the bed
I hope she finishes soon

She makes me laugh and makes me mad
I’ll always love her to bits
But right now I need to sleep
And she’s really giving me the shits

Amy has turned much of our garden into a cactus oasis, not helped much by the long rainy season this year though. It was today I noticed that this delicate cactus was being held up by this tall ants nest, originally a stick in the ground. Ants will rule the world. They are also back in our kitchen building a small nest by the back door again.

Our neighbour’s dog, Tangmo, always enjoys coming to play but tends to go a bit nuts when he sees Kim Chi, who is usually behind a screen door inside her room. Today though, we’d just let her out when he decided to come visit and after a bit of chasing around the situation above occurred.

We worry that Tangmo could easily bite Kim Chi badly as he’s so much bigger and his barking and jumping around make her scared but usually, Kim will be the one chasing him away. Don’t fuck with our cats. Tangmo just seems to want to play but isn’t quite sure of the correct cat etiquette.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for LungChom and their delicious ice cream that I ate two bowls of last night in a state of overindulgence.

Feel good today after forcing myself to do my minimal daily exercise on the weekend (this morning is rest day so I did yoga instead). I also ate two bowls of ice cream last night – which were freaking delicious but perhaps a bit too much!

Oh stayed over last night, though I was in bed by then and didn’t see her this morning either. Amy is giving her a bread-baking tutorial. Amy also did a pre-order for her cinnamon buns and got inundated with requests, so much that she will be baking for three days instead of the planned one.

I listened to day 3 of the gratitude course this morning, which gave me two very important reminders. ‘I dismiss any thoughts that entertain feelings of comparison’ and ‘I embrace my journey because it is uniquely designed just for me.’ I think these constant habits of mine are slowly having the desired positive effect, though I am not particularly challenged these days, or at least I feel as if I’m not, which could also be because of these habits.

The semester is winding down now and I’m feeling pretty relaxed. I hope that students return next semester, as I don’t have anything else planned if we continue online and I also want to start my experiment with 2/9.

Last week I was getting a bit frustrated with my guitar playing but yesterday I got back into the flow, teaching me that it’s ok to relax, take a break if necessary and try again at another time. But it is not acceptable to give up.

I’m also working up the free time and courage to get back into learning the keyboard and music software and thinking about making songs again. I know I can do it but I’m also aware of what a time sink it will be.

Amy is still constantly frustrated with the situation in Thailand and I have to try and deflect or point out our positives so that it doesn’t get her too depressed. I am attempting to deal with the situation here stoically and I am happy to tell Amy that I am ok living anywhere in the world with her.

When she’s drunk, she will chide me with ‘you love it here, you can stay’ and whilst I wouldn’t say I love it here anymore than anywhere else, I am happily aware of how easy my life is compared to the UK and Australia. Even so, I will give it up if it makes Amy happier with herself and her situation.

The Week That Was – 26th August 1979

Writer’s Trick – 25th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Far across galaxies, I was taken
Flying towards the story’s end
A misdirection, a writer’s trick
On which the reader may depend

A cliffhanger chapter break
The reader left wanting more
Another leaf is turned
In this new world to explore

Better than a Netflix series
Read a book and chill instead
I wonder who will survive
And who will end up dead?

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Amy’s friends who all ordered cinnamon buns from her when she posted online about them. She’s going to be busy.

Woke up this morning to Amy screaming ‘help’ and my name. I thought perhaps one of the cats had brought in a snake but it was just Cap and Tigger fighting each other again, clumps of fur scattered all about the kitchen and dining room. I don’t know why they have never gotten along. They tolerate each other but barely.

It wasn’t even 7 am but I got up and forced myself to do my mini workout for which I feel good for, right now. Must remind myself about this feeling each morning.

E.very D.umb M.ale – 24th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s a post-post-punk world
Music totally deconstructed
No alternative Alternative
A disco ball disruptive
Every dumb male makes music
Click, click, bleep and hop
Bedroom producers now equal
In this new world of pop
Indie kings sold guitars
To take up regular jobs
Making money on weekends
With the twiddling of knobs
Purists complain to deaf ears
Yet this was always the goal
Anyone can be making music
Even if it is without soul
So the punks both won and lost
Perhaps they were never right
Now there’s little to rebel against
And everyone gave up the fight

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I remembered to write something today, especially as I forgot yesterday too.

Ready For Something – 22nd September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

The kids are bored just hanging out
Breaking curfews and running about
They’re ready for something, set to rise
The fire is burning behind their eyes

The trigger arrives by train and bus
Thinking ‘no one else can fuck with us’
The energy is bursting out of control
Electric atmosphere to charge your soul

The movement grew to change the world
Banners raised, freak flags unfurled
Possibilities open to interpretations
Underground rising across the nations

Inspired by listening to Joey Keithley of D.O.A. talk about travelling to their first show in San Francisco in 1980 (?). Some band members went by bus, another by train and a fourth by hitchhiking. D.O.A. were a pioneering band spreading their punk rock messages around the world. He said that at that time kids were ready for something, though they were not quite sure what it was.

Of course, there are other possible interpretations too.

15th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Reena’s Xploration Challenge using this quote as inspiration:

I think if you are curious, you create opportunities, and then if you open the doors, you create possibilities.
– Mario Testino

11th Apr 2024 – Submitted to My Vivid Blog

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all that I’ve achieved in my life so far. I am happy with the way I am. and the changes I have made throughout my life.

I took a walk over to Primary today and chatted with folks there and it’s still the same crazy nonsense as I when I was working there. One surprising thing to learn was about everyone’s dislike of Mike there now and not just because of his brownnosing ways but also passing on private information from their personal Farang teachers LINE group to the Thai teachers and, worst of all, fucking one of the Thai teachers.

Most of the other teachers know his wife so they are pretty upset about it. I know it’s not the first time for him either.

Anyway, hearing all this and all the other stuff from there made me appreciate not being there anymore. I feel good and relaxed today. Nice!

Long Live The King – 21st September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Nicky, you were right
When you said you couldn’t do it
You made so many mistakes
Took your chances and blew it

You knew what was right
But still chose to do what was wrong
Now your houses are burning
And the peasants hail rousing song

Consigned yourself to history
The last of the clan to fall
Your future will be repeated
At the revolution’s final call

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that all our cats are happy and well. Usually, there is one that is sick but let’s hope we can stay like this for a while.

Seems to be some problems with electricity around the city today but I managed to get some amazing coffees in before that. It’s fantastically and eerily quiet – no low hum – just the expected noises of cars going by, people talking and birds cooing.

Ah! It’s back – that low hum from the fans is good, now I’m getting that cool air.

I spoke to Hayden yesterday, he sounded neutral – no real negativity or enthusiasm. I think it’s tough for him during these lockdowns and I hope he doesn’t self-lockdown when things open up again. Like what happened to me when meeting Bronwyn, I hope he one day meets someone who can change his life and move him forward.

Amy and I started watching The Last Czar yesterday and it is impossible not to make comparisons with Thailand. Will there be a similar conclusion one day?


Take My Word – 20th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Do I have time to read every written word?
Don’t look at me as if it’s so absurd
Absorbed in stories that taught me much
Each one holding a teacher’s touch

The words to learn from times to burn
Find the right words for your concern
If it hits you hard then read it twice
Take my word, that’s my advice

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can read books wherever I go. One for Utopia, one for school/House, one for evenings, one for bedtime.

Well, the weekend passed by quickly, with going to Amy’s aunties’ memorial on Friday and Saturday night and then her cremation on Sunday morning. I was happy to have a phone with me and felt less conscious of using it on these occasions, as I’ve gotten used to Thais doing it. Even one of the monks took a call whilst his leader was chanting.

At times when I looked up and around, I still could not feel what comforts these odd rituals provide. They seem a nonsense and can be adapted in any way anyone should please. If we got rid of all religions, would we just make new rituals to comfort ourselves? Perhaps not. It’s not so obvious in those who have no faith. They (we) accept the fact that we live and die and not much else.

Recently, I’ve been reading much about the USA’s foreign policy and interference in other countries, and it reinforces the fact for me that all of it is beyond meaningless. People left to themselves are generally ok and without any implanted biases, get on with everyone.

I’m thinking that China’s approach to world affairs is a more powerful way to share the world. From an outside perspective, it looks to me as if they are aware that helping people to help themselves benefits everyone in the long run. Trying to force your way of life on other people has continually shown in history to not be successful. Every country, group, philosophy, and government will have its share of bad apples, and the current media obsession with focusing on them forces a bias that is not conducive to love.

Religions have also failed at a mass level, of teaching to love everyone, even though it is a major tenet of them all.

Whilst these situations remain, frustrated people, like me, want to give up, see no hope. Even in our own happy lives. We can’t ignore the suffering of others. These people are humans, and we play this game of life together.

Old To The Front – 19th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Old uncles have their black pants on
That’s when I realise that I am one
Old to the front, young to the rear
There’s an order of expiry here
No tears are flowing, it was expected
Hanging on so long had made all dejected
Eulogies in memoriam were told
As I pondered what it means to be old
The smoke rose as rain began to fall
The chanting ceased and that ended it all
Black pants returned to wardrobes then
Until next time the family gathers again

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the sweet cakes we got from Auntie’s funeral. It seems to be a tradition to give the guests a box of these for attending the funeral. The shops that supply them must always be busy.

The Great Game – 18th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

*You changed a world that was never asked
Recycled governments and remade the past
Made a play to counter power
Deciding fates from your golden tower
The mountains rose, inspiring action
Chieftains rose, combined each faction
The games played afar, on a wooden board
But real people could not be ignored
The dust and dirt, unforgiving weather
The warlords waiting, patiently clever
All the money and power wasn’t enough
Against backstabbing, lies and bluff
The game was watched by others abroad
Their armies played for a new accord
The game continues from your home
Whilst the victims just want to be left alone

*taken almost directly from Stuart Laycock’s ‘All The Countries We’ve Ever Invaded’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Amy’s almond buns that she has been experimenting with and yesterday she got them just right. Yummy!

Let’s Go Home – 17th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Take me back to an English summer day
On green grass watching farmers stacking hay
The long evening daylight stretching ahead
Small fishes dashing along the clear riverbed

Walking through long beaten forest tracks
No more than a T-shirt needed on our backs
Running down pebble beaches to the sea
These are all things that have made me me

What now are the pleasures of the day?
Can we go home to relive the games we play?
My memories tricking me with a nostalgic dream
Yet still, I return to all those places I’ve been

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have all the things or access to all the things that I would like. The ability to do things as and when I please. I am so lucky, perhaps too lucky, it feels sometimes.

Really odd feeling when driving to work this morning. I was having some dark thoughts but instead of feeling them, I was just observing them. I have kinda felt that before but this time it was really apparent. Maybe it was the pending visit to immigration!

A quick coffee hit the spot and immigration was a breeze thankfully. I have to drive home after school and then we come back into the city to pay respect to Amy’s auntie. I’m not sure what that means but having a phone will be useful.