Tag: gratitude

Love Is Blind – 27th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Humbled to be the guide
The servant, the pupil
Heart soaring at every breath
And pluck of the string

Blind to her own beauty
Yet knowing it’s there
Seen by others without
Seen by one within

As the pale skin burns
He plucked out his eyes
So as never to forget
In his dreams, she is seen

Two united by cruelty
As ease in love, together
The lark and nightingale sing
Until they ascend the clouds

Inspired by A Portrait of Shunkin by Junichiro Tanizaki
21st May 2025 – Shared with dVerse – Intimate Moments

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

from Slaughterhouse 5, Kurt Vonnegut

Today I’m feeling:
A little bored and tired.
Today I’m grateful for:
For the bananas that grew in the garden and fed me this afternoon. I don’t know why but it still delights me to be able to grow something and then eat it!
The best thing about today was:
Talking to Amy and discussing some future plans. She’s currently thinking she may move back here on my next visa extension which is great but I want her to have something to keep her occupied when she’s here so she doesn’t overthink things with so much free time.

I took this picture because I was sitting outside and talking on the phone with Amy and enjoying the dusk turn to darkness and the temperature was just right to stay a while and contemplate things. Zooming in on the picture shows a bright star on the horizon. Mars or the north star, I’m not smart enough to know.

Happy Endings – 26th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Did you plan for this deflated feeling?
Post-orgasm jism dripping from the ceiling
In the cold light of day lies the rub
Impatiently waiting for the next rub and tug

Dopamine rushes are in high demand
Sex supply is in the dollars command
Is it really just money you’re spending
As you chase after another happy ending?

Culture is a perversion. It fetishes objects, creates consumer mania, it preaches endless forms of false happiness, endless forms of false understanding in the form of squirrelly religions and silly cults. It invites people to dimish themselves and dehumanise themselves by behaving like machines.

Terrance McKenna

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and contented.
Today I’m grateful for:
Not having anything specific to do at school so I could just hang out with the kids for a while and we could communicate as best we could in English, Thai and with translation. I could also get to 22 Grams for my favourite coffee, sit and read, write and prepare some lessons for next semester. Everyone was in a good state of mind.
The best thing about today was:
Was just the sheer enjoyment of being around my students and hearing them play and having fun with each other and then with me. Everywhere I go students wave and beckon me over and want to try and chat about something. It really gives me great pleasure to be a minor part of their lives. I can remember a time in the past talking to my friends about becoming a barista or even a teacher and they all thought that I would be a great teacher. I’m trying and I’m enjoying trying.

I took this picture because…actually, my student Anchan insisted on taking some selfies using my phone and this is one of the results. Feije, Jet, Anchan and me. There was good energy today.

True Loves – 23rd September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Sick and tired of freedom
I want to be a slave
I need to be kept in line
And told how to behave
I’ll gladly give up some rights
Just tell me what to do
I want someone else to think for me
I want it to be you

He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch.

Jean-Luc Godard

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
All the many choices of different and delicious foods available so close to my home. It’s not often that I can’t decide or find what I want to eat.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to my student Feije singing and playing guitar. It’s great to see one of my students passionate about playing something other than mobile games or TikTok. She ran all the way over to the guitar room to bring one back to the classroom as I let them have free time. I also had fun with Mee, Yok and Kam with a silly fun game they had on their phone and also with another group of girls playing Uno.

I took this picture because Tokyo was in a friendly happy mood today and she’s lovely when she’s like that. She’s very possessive of what she perceives as her things and will quickly and easily bite you if you go near them.

The Week That Was – 23rd December 1979

Rolling In – 22nd September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

The bird in the limes whoops
‘Here comes the rain’
Ants busy themselves in relocation
Coming inside again
At each gust the bough twists
Fruit falls to the ground
A flash to signal cats
To hide from the oncoming sound
Low breaths hanging dark
Pushed frantically apace
Rapid gunfire hits the sheets
Falling around this place
The frogs shout out their pleasure
The cats, a-sleeping, wait
Again the birds are whooping
As the worms turn toward their fate

What we become depends on what we read after all the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books.

Thomas Carlyle

Today I’m feeling:
Tired but content
Today I’m grateful for:
My students at least seeming to understand what it is I want from them in class. They lose their bravado when having to talk with me one to one.
The best thing about today was:
Finishing classes early and being able to come home and have a sort of nap whilst listening to Sebka Chott, with Cap alongside me.

I took this picture because I love finding drawings of me in my student’s books. Some of these kids are quite talented.

The Week That Was – 16th December 1979

Time And Confusion – 21st September 2022

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Get out of this confusion
The beat waiting to be found
Distraction is just an illusion
In which it’s easy to be drowned
There’s panic in the nation
To which is holding tight
The sense of coming elation
Knowing that the time is right

Most people are not even aware of their need to conform. They live under the illusion that they follow their own ideas and inclinations, that they are individualists, that they have arrived at their opinions as the result of their own thinking – and that it just happens that their ideas are the same as those of the majority.

Erich Fromm

Today I’m feeling:
Very contented.
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff at the shop who helped me sort out the problem with the power adaptor I bought yesterday, finally swapping out everything for a couple of others that were more expensive but they gave me for free. Unfortunately it still only charges slowly so I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and buy the real thing again when I have enough money spare.
The best thing about today was:
Receiving weed through the mail from an online store. I tried a little in some tea and it tasted delicious but the only effect it’s had is to make me tired.

I took this picture because I could get home early and do anything I pleased. I’m very happy these days.

No Fuss Life – 20th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

She’s the one, happily jumping in the mud
She’s got a little bit of crazy running through her blood
One fifty on the highway, three up on their bikes
She’s gonna live her life just the way she likes
Into the wind, any speck of caution thrown
Maybe she’ll be gone before she’s fully grown
But she’s lived a life more complete than all of us
Left the chains for freedom and didn’t make a fuss

The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying.

Steven Pressfield

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding a cheap power adapter after losing mine somewhere. I’d prefer the real thing but will make do with a less expensive one for now.
The best thing about today was:
Watching a video of my crazy student, Nong Aoi, diving into a huge puddle of water after a storm and to the delight of all her friends. I keep watching the video because it makes me laugh so much and it’s great to see her and her friends so happy

I took this picture because the cats had been scared of the storm and wanted to be close by to feel safe and to be ready when I get up to feed them.

Favourite Trick – 19th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I forgot my brain
Left it on the train
Picked up legs
And off it ran
Driving me insane
I lost my head
Getting out of bed
Overthinking, thinking thunk
Overdrinking, dranken drunk
Nonsense that I said
Myself found lost
Paying the cost
Apple core
With nothing more
Than being tossed
I cut off my dick
When I was being sick
Flushed it down the bowl
I’ll never tell a soul
It was my favourite trick

…an ocean of salt tears could not melt the resolution of the statues.

Danforth, The Crucible

Today I’m grateful for:
Ploughing on and finishing reading Gormenghast. Excellent. Just one more in the trilogy to go and I can send them back to Sharon. Slaughterhouse 5 first though.
The best thing about today was:
Champ buying me a coffee at House, where I took him because he wanted to get out of school for a break. He seemed really happy with my teaching, or at least with my bloody-mindedness to try and get these kids disciplined to enjoy studying. It was certainly nice to get positive feedback.

I took this picture because I’d never seen this fruit before. It was growing alongside a mulberry tree at House. Apparently, it’s not edible, which is surprising because it’s an attractive colour.

Brand New Day – 17th September 2022

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Are you awake to the stirrings of the earth?
A bright day is born every morning
If you don’t give it the value that it is worth
The kingdoms will start to issue forth their warning
Save me now so you may save yourself
Sun is shining somewhere no matter what you say
The noose is getting tighter, not for anyone else
But they all wish to see the same brand-new day

You become what you give your attention to…If you yourself don’t choose what thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone else will.

Epictetus

Today I’m grateful for:
Dasa Books having another sale. I picked up a couple that got delivered today.
The best thing about today was:
Riding around new villages and discovering new places and paths. There were also fresh smells to enjoy on the cold damp air.

I took this picture because, despite the dullness of the light, the green of the rice amongst the brown water against the mountains and cloudy sky stood out to me as a picture of a beautiful day.

The Warrior – 13th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Rich in dreams but poor in reality
Abundance has removed all the limits
Stepping outside all the comfort
Where days become hours become minutes

Soft, decadent, bored with what’s owned
Kept alive with constant shocks
The warrior plays the long game
And keeps the ship far from the rocks

Renew, and prepare for the peasant’s war
Retrench and practice key strengths
Recognise all enemies come from within
And what exactly is being fought against

Inspired (and borrowed) from Robert Greene
14th May 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

I want to know you’re there, but I want to be alone.

Virginia Woolf

Today I’m grateful for:
Being reminded of the quality of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina whilst watching the old BBC TV series, marvelling at the old TV production style and the seeming absurdities of Russian aristocratic life. It reminds me of times of my youth when I would have cringed to see anything like this on tv and even now I don’t think I could enjoy it without having read the book first.
The best thing about today was:
Was waking up throughout the night to find Kim Chi in various places on the bed. I disturbed her a few times but she happily rearranged herself each time.

I took this picture because I was quite impressed by my student’s drawing skills. Her name is Apple.

Doing It Again – 12th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We’re making the mistakes all over again
It seems that we’ll never learn
Forgetting that setting the world on fire
Means you’ll have to watch it burn

History won’t help if we soon forget
The lessons it helped us learn
Don’t be afraid to let the past go
When it’s someone else’s turn

6th Nov 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – vote

Our moral thinking is much more like a politician searching for votes than a scientist searching for truth.

Jonathan Heidt, The Righteous Mind

Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s mum and dad coming over in the morning with jump leads so that I could start my car and get to work before my first class. Also to Fui for supplying a new battery with a minor discount.
The best thing about today was:
Being with my lovely annoying students again. I love them all in their own ways.

I took this picture because Tangmo is a lovely smelly droopy-eyed dopey dog who loves to come and visit to get strokes and biscuits.