Tag: gratitude

Secrets of Hosseini – 3rd September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

“Tell your secret to the wind
But don’t blame it for telling the trees”*
Like a mynah bird in your hands
Slacken your grip and away it flees

*Khalil Gibran
These two lines (modified slightly) appear within a few paragraphs of each other in Khaled Hosseini’s ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ and stood out immediately to me for their poetry. I take no credit, really, for jamming them together.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have gotten an appointment for the Pfizer vaccine today. Let’s hope it all goes well.

Well, I surprisingly received an email late yesterday afternoon with an appointment to get the Pfizer vaccine – something I registered online for a few weeks ago. I wasn’t really expecting anything much to come from it but the appointment was for this morning! Typical Thai last-minute information!

Anyway, everything went smoothly with getting the vaccine at the hospital in the city. I was even in and out before the actual appointment was scheduled. No undue side effects that I notice and I go back for the 2nd job on 1st October.

I assigned work for my morning class to do and quite unexpectedly ha;f of them did it even though we didn’t have an online meeting. I’m in the middle of my afternoon class and they are all working surprisingly well too. Except for Dew.

Dew cannot understand English at all and shouldn’t really be in this class. Last year, he frustrated me in class a lot, not because he didn’t do the work but because he would always be talking to other students and disturbing them. And not just talk and stop but like an unbreathing radio DJ.

With studying online now, it is easy to mute him, when he even bothers to attend.

But I must admit, I like him a lot. He’s pretty funny and when I asked him to sing a song, he would do it. I think we understand each other well enough. We both accept that he is no good with English. Let’s see if he stays quiet when he’s back in the classroom.

The Old Ways – 2nd September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The belief that this way is the best
Completely fails when put to the test
Just because it was always done this way
Doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to stay

Instead of walking, why not run?
There’s other ways to get things done
People power can produce the change
One day to find the old ways strange

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that all 3 of our cats are healthy again. It makes me smile inside to see them relaxed and playful.

Amy was tired yesterday after making two batches of cinnamon buns and was looking forward to resting today but just as she came to bed she got a message that Utopis sold out theirs immediately and wanted more! I chuckled and know she is also happy but not used to working on demand.

I’m looking forward to getting out for afternoon coffee and some book reading!

Dust – 1st September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

We are dust under the dust of the feet of the king
Now unsatisfied with the problems that you bring
Rising up to challenge centuries-old traditions
That led the country into these downtrodden conditions

What made sense once no longer really applies
The world has gotten smaller for information supplies
The dust, the people are not prepared to let it be
They are motivated to be the change they want to see

7th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – dust

Weight: 78.0kg
Resting heart rate: 48

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to get through another month mostly healthy – just a little pain. Let’s see what excitements September brings.

Stuck at school all day but that’s ok as I can keep myself occupied wherever I am. Having pen and paper, a book and internet help and the two coffees I picked up this morning have kept me charged up well.

I’ve updated things on my blog, written my daily poem, played guitar for ten minutes – I brought my shitty guitar to school just for this purpose and bought a better one a couple of weeks ago.

I’ve taught three classes, marked their work, which I can feel is always improving; helped another teacher with their work – warning them not to ask questions that they themselves cannot answer!

Only thing I haven’t done yet is read some of my book, which I normally do at the cafe. I have read a bunch of articles online, though. My eyes are a bit blurry from staring at the screen.

The best thing about today is seeing my students ‘ improvements through the semester. For some reason, these things stood out a lot today. Anyway, it makes me happy. Some kids are sneaky and try and trick me but it’s out of laziness more than anything. I think I catch them most of the time.

The Week That Was – 25th March 1979

Mo No Syll A Bic Man – 31st August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I don’t know what to say
A voice that sounds so dull
I sound like a wet rag
I speak with one syll-a-ble

Dead mouth and dead brain
Down and out, glass not full
Old man, though still young
Speaks in mo-no-syll-a-ble

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for these rice biscuits that the locals make. I can add them to my muesli to give it a sweeter taste.

Cap woke me up in the middle of the night as he wanted to get out of the bedroom. It was difficult for me to get back to sleep properly, instead having wild dreams but also a deep sense of love for Amy. I am ever grateful to be with her.

Hayden is on my mind too. Any discussions we have online just receive a monosyllabic reply from him, often with ‘I don’t know’ as a response. I feel sorrow for him. I hope that under the weed fog, he does know and understand some things but it’s difficult to see him this way.

And after talking with Sharon about her struggles with Kim, I’m starting to think that there’s nothing much I can do. It has to come from himself. I will keep trying to push him in the direction where he can come to those conclusions.

I sometimes feel guilty about how much effort I put into teaching my students compared with the effort I put in with Hayden. I know they are different times but it still rubs. Am I trying to compensate by taking more care with my students? At their age, they are still malleable but Hayden is, unbelievably, 25 now.

My lower back is sore from too much sitting. Need to exercise more but due to a lack of sleep and a dark, grey, cloudy morning, I couldn’t motivate myself to do it. Motivation, motivation. It’s the same for everyone, old and young.

Today will be a good day. Cannot get that Smart Went Crazy song out of my head, which was something else that kept me awake last night!

Rockets For Profits – 30th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Part of the war machine, a forever battle

Promises of hope diverts money into pockets

Death reigns down upon the brown man’s cattle

To whom were sold the rockets for big profits

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have dropped by to visit Nut and Bruno on the weekend. They seem really happy with their lives together.

A pleasant weekend again. Never long enough. I think all the things I enjoy take longer periods of time than when I was younger and that’s why time disappears so fast. I guess sometimes I wish I couldn’t concentrate and focus on things so that I could do many things each day.

Amy and I dropped by Bruno and Nut’s house and we gassed and gossiped for a bit. Bruno was covered in dirt, oil and grease – he’s always busy with something on his land. They have some Burmese workers laying foundations on the piece of land they own opposite their house but despite being cheap labour they’re also understanding that the quality is low too.

It’s tough here to decide whether to pay some people extra for better work when most people still just employ cheap labourers anyway. Even the pretty new estate houses look shabby if you look closely. They tried to hide it with fancy furniture and carpet.

I’m so happy Amy designed and oversaw the building of our house. If there is anyone to blame, then it is mostly us.

A Thousand Sons – 29th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

*A man’s accusing finger always finds a woman
They are the blamed and the blessed
There is no way to change this status
And no way to pass the test
A controlling power deep within the head
Passive, self-censored and abjugated
A thousand years of venoms spat
At the devils that man created

* From “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch the football again this year and watch Sydney play well against the odds with a young team. Much better than the previous two seasons. We lost today and finished for this year but it has me pumped for watching again next year. Hopefully, I can.

The Fallen City – 27th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This forbidden love wasn’t designed to last
We both realise that now it’s gone
The savage betrayals, a reflection
As the threads of hope all come undone

It’s a timeless story, always repeated
Because passions cannot be denied
Dreams of forever just fall apart
Ever quicker the more it’s tried

The victims suffer the recognition
As their cities of dreams are burned
Eyes open to once blinding mistakes
A war from which much was learned

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to my mother who somehow managed to instil in me an interest in reading, which I fought against for many years – not on purpose but just interested in other things instead.

Starting writing in a fresh new book is a nice feeling. As was finishing up on the last page of the previous book.

Life feels somewhat in a holding pattern at the moment. Maybe time to get myself into doing something different in my spare time, which really just means adding more things to do and having less and less spare time, but that is my privileged status that I need to learn to enjoy.

It was great to see Amy happy, busy and productive yesterday as she has found a quiet niche for baking cinnamon scrolls that look and taste amazing. As soon as pictures went on Facebook, people started asking to order. I think it’s better for her to be concentrating on this whilst it’s fresh for people and can inspire her on to more for future cooking endeavours.

As we both always say, we are lucky to have many different options available to us.

Ants As One – 26th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

“There’s food in the distance, sir”
“Send some troops surveying
Send up the pheromone signal
Our army is obeying”

Through hell and high water
The march has begun
Survival of the greatest
An army that acts as one

Carrying the corpses
Of competing insect species
Food for the family nest
Of cockroaches and leeches

“Let’s move the camp inside
The rain is about to come”
No problem for the army
Of ants that act as one

The human sprays noxious
Chemicals to kill our eggs
“Gather together everyone
And bite him on the legs

Together we can take him down
That nasty human scum
We just got to stick together
Our army of ants as one”

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my back roller/stretcher that helps me loosen up after a day of laying down or sitting at a desk.

Here we are at the end of this book. About 18 months. A lot has happened in that time, for sure. Looking back to a year ago though, even though much has happened, not so much has changed. People are still protesting the government and monarchy and are still hopeful for change.

The last few months have felt a little downward in trajectory in general but perhaps that is a result of me reading more news about Thailand and also US-China relations. It seems like everyone feels in a similar way – blow everyone else off the face of the earth so I can enjoy the world to myself.

In other ways I am generally feeling positive though, heartened by the fact of still having many options available for mine and Amy’s future. The population will be pacified once it can travel again, ourselves included.

A Visit from an Immigration Officer – 25th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Tensions rose as the visitor appeared
The worst could happen as I had feared
Anxious times as decisions neared
Until finally the air had been cleared

The happy officer seemed satisfied
That on the forms I hadn’t lied
All true, the information supplied
Hopefully, my visa won’t be denied

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the nice immigration officer that came to visit this morning. I remember him from last time. I think he knows my case is just routine and is very kind and understanding. He was only here for ten minutes.

Yesterday was my semi-regular write-off day. The low cycle of my possible bipolarity. I woke up in the night and couldn’t get back to sleep.. Not filled with any particularly anxious thoughts but just general brain wheels spinning.

When my alarm went off, I couldn’t get up and decided to stay home – sending a message to Champ and the students that I wouldn’t have a class but would set them work to do. This was semi-successful. 2/9 did well but 1/6 not so. An indication of maturity perhaps. It’s been a lesson for all of us.

And as I was dozing through most of yesterday, a call came at about 6 pm that the immigration officer would come at 10 am this morning, therefore meaning that I wouldn’t be able to come to school today until after they had been. Unfortunate timing but all good (so long as I still get paid).

So this morning he came and all was well – the same officer as last time – a soft friendly guy who seemed content just to be doing his job and being on his way. So, almost there with this new visa application, I felt some relief and scoffed some linguine, picked up a coffee and came to school.

The visa process is an annual ritual nightmare and it was getting me down. I’m starting to contemplate being in Australia again and considering what the future might hold. Yesterday I felt so uninspired and like giving up everything, but today I feel like I’m not done yet.

“I try to relax….but then again…..oh no!”