Tag: growth

Each Dawn – 21st July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 17 Comments

I commiserate the death of me
Of everything I used to be
Soon, a forgotten memory
– Considered on occasion

The me that was, been and gone
Wisdom found me with its song
I sought new homes where I belong
– I wish I’d gotten here sooner

So it is with passing friends
In happiness that one pretends
Marching towards our personal ends
– Flowers wilt without water

Reading my own obituary
Wisdom provided sanctuary
This time too, temporary
– Each morning, new life forming

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 57 – Wisdom and What’s Going On – Elegy
23rd Oct 2024 – Shared with Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – pretend

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and sleepy. I must’ve been woken by the gardeners this morning, though I didn’t even realise until I heard shouts of ‘nong Am’ and ‘loong’ outside whilst I was taking a shower. Coffee got me going a bit and I managed to avoid watching TV until lunchtime.

Around that time, though, Baipad messaged saying that her cat had turned up after 4 days and didn’t look good and asked if I would take her to the vet. I had to choose whether to help her or not, knowing that I would have to pay, as her mum refuses to take their pets to the vet (I’m assuming it’s a financial decision on her part).  And I’m really short of money right now too. 

I cracked when she wrote that ‘otherwise I’ll just have to let her go’.  Her cat, Snow, was unable to move and felt very cold. She really looked like she might go at any minute. Baipad was predictably in tears. Anyway, the kids got in the car and we drove down to the vet near the hospital.

They said that she had feline distemper and only a 10% chance. We talked about options, and they said they wanted to put her on saline and give her some medicine and to stay there for a few hours. I agreed and told Baipad that they could figure out what to do after that. I dropped them home after paying a 500 baht deposit and told her to call me to take them back later.

Around 4pm, she messaged me again and said that her mum would go pick up the cat and a little later said that she was home again and was improving with a 50-60% chance of making it.

I was happy to hear that but also found out that her mum had to pay another 800 baht. I told Baipad that she should start thinking of things that she can do to pay her mum back.

Today I’m grateful for:

The vet nearby being open today. As it is a special holiday this weekend, I wasn’t sure that it would be.

The best thing about today was:

I played guitar for a couple of hours and got in touch with Max and Dave about them possibly sending over some tenzenmen stock for distro over there. Hopefully, that will help get some stuff out of my room.

We also had a long, big rain which flooded our lawn for the first time this year. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Due to my lack of money I’m not able to pay the gardener and had to ask Amy to transfer me the money to do it. I’ll have to pay her back next month.

Something I learned today?

I learned about the colonial city of Aden in Yemen and a little about the retreat of the British Empire from there. I’d not heard of it before but searching online it looks like a very interesting place.

I took this picture because Tigger was very much enjoying rolling in his cardboard tray whilst the rain poured outside.

Gift Return – 18th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

I.

This time is a gift I give
Sharing these pictures on a page
The words a gift from the past
So that you remember the age

This love is a gift I give
To teach is to learn is to teach
Wisdom is the gift I offer
Put within your reach

II. (Rolling Haiku)

The gift keeps giving
To the wisdom of learning
Each generation
To the wisdom of learning
The gift keeps giving

Submitted to No Theme Thursday

Today I’m feeling:

Tired because I had slept too much over the last two days and so struggled to sleep last night along with Cap wanting to be let out and back in again three times.  I hope to get home in the early afternoon and catch up on some sleep then.  The air is still making me feel dizzy and sick too.

Today I’m grateful for:

The four staff at the post office who I communicated with Google Translate telling them that I didn’t want to pay customs tax on a parcel from Yukari in Japan.  The shirt and CDs were already expensive and I don’t want to have to pay even more just to receive them.

Anyway, in my mind I’m already resigned to having to pay the tax but I thought that I would try my best to not and the four guys were all a little stuck as it is just their job to collect the money and send it to the customs people.

I explained that the things in the parcel were just some stuff that I left in Japan when I was visiting there and it was just being sent back to me.  The value on the customs declaration is just for insurance claims if it gets lost.  They were sympathetic but said they just collected the money.

This would be different in Australia where you have a good chance of not paying import duty if you can argue a good case as I have done in the past on several occasions.

Well, as it was up to the customs people I asked them to call them and explain the situation.  They tried but said there was no answer, maybe because it was lunchtime.  OK, when you’ve talked to them you can call me and I gave them my phone number and left.

I doubt that they will call as none of them speak English so I will go back in a day or two and see what the situation is.

The best thing about today was:

Getting my grading files all done and dusted by 9.30am, allowing me time to enjoy coffee before a little bit of shopping, where, finally, Big C has the Strawberry Granola in stock again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I suppose the situation above that I describe about the customs tax is out of my control and I dealt with it calmly and softly.  There was no point in getting upset with the staff at the post office – they were just doing their job.

How do I deal with uncertainty?

I remind myself that everything is uncertain.  When you consider that everything is uncertain and that you have been dealing with this reality for 56 years already, you might not be exactly sure how you deal with it but like my mum always said you ‘just get on with it.’

I have become more flexible and accepting of change over time, something I know that Hayden often struggles with.  I have also reduced my expectations around things being a certain way – Thailand has taught me this quite well.

I took this picture because Cap looked like he was curled up in a warm winter house with a fire roaring nearby which couldn’t be further from the truth. This old man is still so cute.

Pick Up The Gun – 5th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Pick up the gun to provide justification
Rewrite the narratives of provocation
Pick up the gun needed as your defence
For the war to start at your expense

Pick up the gun for hellfire to be rained
The Eagle’s game is easily explained
Pick up the gun, even take a swing
Either way will change something

Pick up the gun, it’s a dragon poke
What’s the plan if failed to provoke?
Put down the gun, desist and cease
Accept the differences for lasting peace

inspired by the titular Bill Hicks routine as a comment on current affairs in geopolitics

Today I’m feeling:

Happy, relaxed and contented.

Today I’m grateful for:

Uncle at the bike repair shop for fixing my flat tyre again. I seem to be here every six months for a new inner tube. He usually pulls some piece of metal out of it. Today I can see the tube has shredded and the tyre is fucked too!

The best thing about today was:

Hanging out with Bruno at Utopia and then Daytripper. His English is getting worse these days as he doesn’t speak much with anyone else apart from me. We talked about a lot of different things and it was good to catch up.

Although I don’t really have any steam to blow off it’s good just to get random thoughts shared with other people. I don’t need to be in people’s business every day and catching up once or twice a month is enough for me.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

On the way to Daytripper, I could feel a problem with my back tyre particularly as I went around corners and as we left a little later I could feel it getting worse so I headed off to the petrol station to fill it with air. As it was filling I heard a pop and it wouldn’t fill anymore.

I rode at 5mph back to the uncle near my place who laughed a little when he saw the tyre. He immediately indicated it wasn’t just the tube but the tyre was fucked too, probably from me just riding it there. Ok ok, it’s gotta be fixed.

He got to work and showed the inner tube which had completely split. We laughed.

A few minutes and 600 baht later I was on my way again. It’s been an expensive start to the month. Some things have just got to be done though.

My shirts are waiting one more day to be ironed though!

Something I learned today?

I saw a video suggesting the EU has dropped sanctions against Russia, against the wishes of the USA. I haven’t looked further yet to verify but it comes as a bit of a shock if true.

Really, is this something that was worth learning?

I think I’ve learned something more worthwhile today, something more directly involved with my life. These things are small specks of information and knowledge that accumulate over time into something with a more concrete form.

Chatting with various people picks up random information that may be useless or inconsequential at this moment in time but may build into a deeper understanding of things locally or culturally. Just asking people about other coffee shops to check puts information into knowledge banks. Information that may never be used or one day when riding around I recognise a spot and can say, hmm someone recommended that.

Some useless things may become useful.

World news whilst stimulating may just remain useless.

How do I feel right now?

A little tense in my legs, not sure I will sleep well tonight. I may be tense because I wanted to get my shirts ironed today but I ended up playing guitar instead, knowing I have another free day tomorrow to get at least some of them ironed; although there’s nothing stopping me from doing them all except laziness!

I feel good after talking with Bruno and seeing other people around at Utopia and Daytripper and stimulated enough not to take a nap.

I have a plan for tomorrow. I think I’ll ignore my alarm, grab coffee, come home and iron and then head to Daytripper to do some blogging and lesson planning. I’m hoping perhaps by writing this here I will stick to it!

I took this picture because I thought this plant had long since died. It is one of four in a row that Amy planted a couple of years ago and this one has been missing for the last year or so. Looks like it was busy growing underground until the time was right to show itself again.

Roundhouse – 24th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This is the house that time built
The 60s are just through the door
Another world, another lifetime
What were the billions gone all living for?

This is the house that time built
Educated to a level capability
Flexing muscles of hidden thoughts
Exercising a great mental agility

This is the house that time built
Once glorious yet now decrepit
All shall one day return to earth
No matter how amazingly intrepid

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.

Edward Abbey

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
The chef at the shop next to Utopia for preparing me a delicious lunch to my requirements with yummy fresh tofu and crispy noodles to make lard na.
The best thing about today was:
Getting so many little things done but in a relaxing manner. Sometimes I struggle with motivation but today I managed to push through without feeling like I was forcing it.

I took this picture because I was walking home from Utopia and thinking about how to make an interesting picture. The three contrasting colours of yellow, green and blue along with the lines as seen from the ground level give this picture a more complex feel. I thought about straightening the picture but kind of like that it is a little off.

All About The Underdog – 4th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes bad weather seems better
Maybe you’ve got no coin in the game
A baby born without hope to survive
Maybe rooting for us just the same
Take a shot at the moving target
And it becomes the best you’ve ever done
Everyone has forgotten your name
But to us, you’re the one that won

Run in the opposite direction of any expert or guru proclaiming to possess a secret formula for success of power.

Robert Greene, the Daily Laws

Today I’m grateful for:
A weekend of being able to watch the AFL. Four amazing first-round finals. All of them were fantastic thrilling games and they reminded me of weekends of drinking and hangovers in Australia. Winters of football and summers of cricket.
The best thing about today was:
A big drink of cold water at about 8pm. Today has not been very eventful but that water sure made an impression. No doubt I will be reminded of it at about 3am too!

I took this picture because it represents hope and growth. Many of our pumpkin flowers don’t turn to fruit or fall off quickly before having chance to take. I don’t know how far this one will go but it’s looking good right now.

A Meta Verse – 27th February 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Would you volunteer for a fatal addiction
To an electrical pleasure, brain implant
The sum of all pleasure, constant highs
A simple flick of the switch would grant?
Would you sacrifice your suffering
The demons and devils of your daily fight
The needles that give you balance
Just to die tomorrow in orgasmic delight?

We own our own minds – and together, we can take them back from the forces that are stealing them.

Johann Hari

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch my garden grow and change over time. It’s amazing.

Teacher, teacher – 8th June 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When everyone laughs at you
It’s best to laugh along too
Don’t let things affect you so
Stand upright to any blow
Strength’s applied when nothing done
It’s not a game that must be won
Take it with a pinch of salt
It’s not really anyone’s fault
Emotions tug at simple minds
The simple comes in many kinds
Our reactions were never taught
Perhaps that’s something that we ought
To teach our kids in schools
Give them these important tools
Inner peace and satisfaction
As opposed to angry passion

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have Kim Chi back home. She’s very happy to be somewhere familiar again. She doesn’t seem too stressed about being stuck in the classroom – not yet anyway. I hope she settles into it.

What does it matter to a cat? – 30th March 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Yufu, Maeve, nonsense in my head, breakfast ready, ache in neck, birds chirping, lesson plans, write, read, coffee, holidays, alcohol.
Kim Chi, lazy Kim Chi, are you boy or girl and does it matter to a cat?
Work those abs.
What are you grateful for today?
Get nonsense out of your head.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this awesome breakfast Amy has prepared for me. Set me up for the day. Gotta start eating before it goes cold.

The best thing about today was when I was asked to attend a meeting with all teachers and the presenter was an hour and a half late and I dealt with it by meditation and thinking about other things that I wished to do.

Previously I would have been upset by situations like this and thought of them as a waste of time but now I can occupy my mind instead and let any frustration ease away. This is a sign of my growth.

We got that attitude! – 28th March 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the big rain a couple of nights ago which meant we didn’t need to water the garden yesterday. Today I will be grateful for the 41-degree temperature and sunlight that will inspire our plants and trees to shoot up. Balance of nature – power for a long time – longer than I will be alive.

Sometimes, days off start with many possibilities but then by the end of the day, you wonder what you did. My morning and afternoon were happy – watching Sydney play well in the AFL, winning the game, working out in the morning, reading and drinking coffee, eating a beautiful buffet lunch at Le Meridien.

But I can tell Amy is in a feisty mood – inspired by the elections that are happening today. With her grandmum not well and her brother being a typical uncommunicative and uncaring person – all this makes the words out of her mouth in the negative – and even if they may not be, I am reading them that way because it has become the norm.

Some days I can deal – usually just by shutting up, but today, this evening, I just wanted to lock myself away. I picked up my guitar and after a few days with no practice played worse than before – got myself frustrated and into a funk of my own.

I did a bit more exercise and that brought me up a bit but now I’m going back inside the house and out of hiding here in my room. Let’s try to be positive.

We got that attitude! – 20th January 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for all the things I’ve learned from all the different people I have invited into my life. Sometimes it takes me a while to actually understand the lesson but I get there in the end.
Last night I had a moment of clarity in understanding who I am. Of course, I can’t remember it this morning but as it is coming into my consciousness I know I will find it again. I am so happy and grateful for this long journey I have been on.