What is it I’ve lost? I really wish I knew Forever counting cost The dreams that withdrew
Always filled with hunger Came the realisation When I was younger I stunted imagination
Though I roll in riches On stock market gambles I can’t scratch the itches That fantasy unscrambles
Today I’m feeling:
Good to go in the morning but after lunch I flaked into a long afternoon nap from which I didn’t feel very inspired by.
Today I’m grateful for:
Paul Merton, an English comedian who I have enjoyed since the 80s. I loved his absurd humour in his TV series and now he is still on the long-running show Have I Got News For You where his very English wit still resonates with me. I can still enjoy the show whilst not having any real idea of what’s going on in the UK these days.
The best thing about today was:
Morning coffee and reading some more Wuthering Heights, followed by some pleasant (forgotten) dreams during nap time.
Something I learned today?
This app (Day One) offers a book service and it looks awesome. It would be better for me if WordPress did something like that though as that has more content. Still I reckon I might get a couple printed up for Hayden and Amy.
12th Mar 2024 – I’ve since discovered that there are services that print out WordPress sites and I will try and get one done for 2023 when I finally have finished updating it, which may still take another year yet!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I bought a T-shirt from Utopia, not because I need one but just to support them. I think Utopia T-shirts are one of the most popular shirts in our area.
What songs were the soundtrack for this year?
I decided to try answering this question knowing that this year is part on an ever decreasing tendency of listening to music.
Without there being a specific artist I would say the two things that I have heard the most are the songs that I bash along to on guitar and the Jazzcore podcast that I listen to about once a month for an hour or so, usually when I’m napping.
Which particular small thing that your partner does irritates you the most?
I’ve been mulling this over for the day and there may be many possibilities to mention but ultimately at the end of the day anything that irritates me is a choice that I’ve made.
And this is what I will keep telling myself every time I feel that way.
I took this picture because the hairdresser’s kitty reminds me so much of Kim. A happy friendly tiny little ginger cat.
Tired but healthy. I just couldn’t make it up with my alarm and ended up with an extra couple of hours of bad sleep due to aches and pains in my shoulders from my exercise this week. But I got the washing on and have to go shopping and I’m mentally preparing for the stack of shirts to iron. I might even finish the vacuuming that I started last week but didn’t quite complete the kitchen and dining room!
Today I’m grateful for:
The Thai basil plant that Amy planted a few years ago but I was unable to keep alive since she’s been away. However, whilst pulling grass out from amongst the random cactuses we have growing I found a new Thai basil plant growing. Woohoo! I pulled the old one out and threw it over the fence and moved the new one into its place and hopefully, it will survive the move and grow as big.
The best thing about today was:
A relative feeling of accomplishment. I managed to get clothes washed and dried despite the big rain, though it did add another five shirts to the ironing pile which is something I didn’t get done today. I pulled up some grass and weeds, sorted out recycling, took it to our garage and got a haircut. Got all my shopping done too.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It was time for my 4 or 5-month haircut (see below) as I’d been hacking at it myself recently and as I sat in the chair for the couple of minutes it takes to roll through my hair with the electric razor a big rain blew in with no end in sight. Ah well, a free shower and clothes wash for my ride home. The mountain rain is cold but the air is still warm so apart from drops stinging my face and blurring my glasses it wasn’t too uncomfortable.
Something I learned today?
By chance, I found an app called Sleepagotchi and recommended it to my sleepy struggling student. It needs a bit of setting up and perhaps a wearable device which I doubt she has but it looks like a more fun way of sleep tracking for teenagers than other apps I’ve seen. I’m trying it out to see how well it works.
What are my top three priorities for this week and why?
Finish grading my students as requested by the school. They’ve only requested to fill in 50% of the scores which is ridiculous as we have to have it all completed soon anyway. Why not just do it all? That’s what I’m doing anyway. As I’ve mentioned before grading is a farce here when no student is allowed to fail and 60% of the class must be graded 3 or more (out of four).
Pay the electricity bill, for obvious reasons. Though perhaps if someone is reading this in ten thousand years’ time and is unfamiliar with what may then be an antiquated technology, electricity is something that helps us live comfortable lives.
Get my shirts ironed. What a shit priority! Better to say; keep exercising, reading, writing, playing guitar etc. but they are all things I’m going to do anyway.
Take a view from above.
I sit in the hairdresser studying the hair across the floor. A sunburnt old man, probably younger than me is flat, laying back in the chair as the chatty hairdresser slides a cutthroat razor skilfully around his chin.
A clean tiled floor, two wooden park benches not designed for comfort for customers, and a fridge with a bag of fruit on top. Old dusty fans and faded pictures of landscapes and kings. There is so much dust on the old tape deck that it looks like it hasn’t been touched for years or would even work now.
The ubiquitous plastic chairs badly stacked next to a plastic sink in the corner, dirty from use at weddings, funerals, and dinners.
The room is full yet sparse with the rotating barber seat really the only signifier that this is a room for hairdressing.
The TV blares nonsensical (to me) words from the corner. An emotional lady talking about I don’t know what. Both the man in the chair and another old man younger than me waiting his turn are glued to the woman now tearing up but looks to me to be manufactured viewing fodder.
The little ginger cat is not sleeping here today. Where are you sleeping? Or are you chasing mice somewhere?
The stuffy air in here is filled with the hard-working old men’s sweat. Not particularly unpleasant but a positive reinforcement of satisfaction of work done. Lives worthwhile. The open windows and fan are merely feathering the hot heavy air. The stillness is reflected in everyone’s speed. There’s no hurry here.
Second in line, I’ll sit here happily waiting. I have things to do but they’ll get done when they get done.
I love the utility of this place. A room is only a hairdresser’s when there is someone cutting hair, otherwise, anything can happen here.
Am I nostalgic for poorer days, a voyeur into a past I escaped? I remember the days of make-do and mend and pulled myself sideways to avoid it. There is a sense of community in the struggle that no longer exists for those of us who found bootstraps to pull. The values of freedom and independence are a privilege that often finds us struggling still.
Remembering that the best part of the journey is what you find on the way and not what you find when you arrive pushes us onwards.
Let’s not be nostalgic, not be complacent. Let’s struggle more. Let’s revel in our simplified suffering. We are not facing life and death whilst simultaneously facing a slow life and death.
The woman on TV’s voice is quivering again and it’s my turn to get my hair cut.
I took this picture because this tells Amy exactly where I am and what I’m doing.
We’ll birth our babies from sacs So our mothers feel no pain Patting ourselves on our backs With this technological gain
A matrix of unborn babies Hanging up in store We take away one suffering Perhaps replaced by more
A matrix of millions Spat from artificial wombs Why not exploit them further In this society that consumes
Mothers now free of pain Have more time for shopping Acceptance is hard to explain When there’s no sign of stopping
Today I’m feeling:
A tinge of sadness but in general pretty happy. I was sad when I got to school and walked around but found no students. An empty school reminds me that at other times these are just useless buildings.
I miss my students already though I know I will be over it soon enough, maybe even already!
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff who fixed my iMac and called me at 11 am, just as I was about to head home. It was ready to pick up. Great timing.
I’m happy to have a working machine again and looking forward to getting it back into the shape that works for me.
The best thing about today was:
Getting a quick haircut was pretty satisfying as it’s getting too hot to have a thick head of thinning hair.
Sitting at Daytripper and putting together another lesson was fun too.
Also, whilst there, watching the highlights of the first game of the AFL season on my laptop and watching students come and go.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I struggled to find all the software I needed to reinstall on my refurbished iMac. I’ll probably have to fiddle around a fair bit more before it’s really back in the shape I want. But that’s all right, this kind of annoying challenge suits me.
Something I learned today?
I watched a little Al Jazeera segment on the state of Iraq since the Western allies’ illegal war there. It seems that the little hope Iraqis had at the removal of Saddam Hussein was very short-lived and one has to wonder how much is the fault of the allies and how much the Iraqis themselves.
Money, power and religion make for a terrible mix when it comes to governance.
What is something in my life that I feel “lucky” to have?
Trying to think how to answer this. In one way I feel lucky for everything I have. In another, I feel like it wasn’t luck at all. So I’m trying to think of something that was just luck.
So after five minutes, I’ve decided all the things I have were not due to luck. Except for one thing.
I’m reminded by my student who told me her story of her parent’s rejection and asking ‘if they didn’t want me then why did they have me?’ We didn’t ask to be born, yet here we are.
So the one thing in my life that I feel lucky to have is life itself.
I took this picture because I’m at the hairdresser again. To get a haircut, not to just take a picture of their cat.
1994ever 