The Last Resort Technician – 8th March 2024

Like a loopy Ikea jigsaw puzzle
Needing all the king’s horses and men
Humpty Dumpty took sage advice
To R.T.F.M.

Submitted to The Sound of One Hand Typing


Today I’m feeling:

Happy and relaxed.  Now the real semester wind down is happening which saddens me somewhat, as less students bother coming to school, less youthful influence to inspire and the prospect of adult nonsense for the next couple of weeks of grading and lesson planning.  But I will make the best of that.

Today I’m grateful for:

Getting home and then remembering that today is the first game of the season for the Sydney Swans.  The game was actually yesterday but I have to wait until I can watch the replay.  

Every year the site layout changes and I have to try and figure out how to watch the game replay without seeing the score.  I usually don’t manage this on the first game due to the changes and sure enough that’s what happened today.  

But that’s fine – because we won, beating the Melbourne Demons by 22 points.  Watching the game was still entertaining because we played well.  I hope we can keep it up.

The best thing about today was:

Chatting, playing, teaching my students today along with a 4 hour break at House where I did some reading and writing, trying some new forms of poetry and contemplating others.

Something I learned today?

What a ghazal is and forced myself to write one.  It took me about an hour just to figure out ten lines.  It was an interesting exercise though.

I also learned that my grade 7 student Pang never went home yesterday. The night before she and her mum had a fight and her mum told her not to come home again. So that’s exactly what she did!

When Kru Karn was trying to find information from her friends she discovered that Pang skipped school at midday yesterday and went off with her old friends and got so drunk that she couldn’t walk and posted the story on Instagram! If the director of the school ever sees that then that is instant expulsion. 

For me, getting drunk with her friends isn’t that big a deal, it’s what I did at that age too. Hopefully her friends are true friends and will take care of her.

It reminds me of a time when I was about 18 and there was a very drunk 13-year-old in town and my friends and I took care of her. We called her parents to tell them that we were all very sorry but that she wouldn’t be home that night but that we would take care of her. Of course, they were very upset but we did take care of her and found her a female friend to stay with that night. I don’t know what the fallout from that event was but I think we did the right thing taking care of her.

Our worry with Pang is that not only is she strong-willed and wild but that she is on medication for depression. So, along with a risk of being sexually taken advantage of (or willingly accidentally falling pregnant), she is also susceptible to doing something tragic.

I took these pictures because they represent the feeling of the day. My students, hard at work.

Johnny Two Doors Down – 22nd December 2023

It’s the offer of a night to remember
Riding around with the hood down
A petrol romance in a warm September
Exploring every corner of the town

Further out into the smaller hours
The soundtrack radio begs the stirring song
“It’s just me, you and the night flowers
We’re right where we belong”

Johnny, he’s furnished with all the skills
But the pleasure here is a book
These are a different set of thrills
A reward for the patience took

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions


Today I’m feeling:

A bit stronger than yesterday.  My exercise was easier and it put me in a bright mood which I hope continues throughout the day.  I know I’m tired but I don’t have the feeling yet.  Perhaps because I’m ‘on-the-go’.  If I sat and relaxed somewhere it might be a different matter but the plan is for no relaxation today!

Today I’m grateful for:

My lip balm.  One time a year I need it, just when the air cools and gets drier.

The best thing about today was:

In my first class, Baibua was wearing a bootleg Iron Maiden sweatshirt.  Thailand has lots of knockoffs like this and people wearing them have no idea what they mean or represent.  Anyway, I asked her if she liked Iron Maiden to which she just looked at me blank-faced.  Namfon joined and she couldn’t understand either.  Eventually, I pointed to the shirt and even knowing what I was talking about neither of them knew what Iron Maiden was.  Well, let’s do some teaching.  I searched YouTube for The Number of the Beast video and blasted it through the room speaker to everyone’s laughter and my pleasure.  What a way to start the school day.

Also, watching some of my students playing football after classes finished and chatting, and playing with everyone around.  It was a good atmosphere, everyone happy and having fun.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There was a lot of plan-changing going on today, for things happening today and tomorrow.  I’ve gotten used to it now and don’t get annoyed at some plan that has been made that isn’t quite what I feel up for.  More than half the time the plan changes back to nothing or something I’m more interested in.  The rest of the time I just accept my fate.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I rubbed the hands of some students who were cold throughout the day.  Skinny Nicha in particular has no fat whatsoever to keep herself warm.  I told her to jump up and down which she did for a little while before hugging herself around my arm.

What are five positive characteristics about Amy?

Happiness.  I first noticed Amy at the cafe where I daily bought my double-shot cappuccino because she was always happy.  Many pretty girls were working there and I could have chosen to talk with any of them but I chose Amy.  One of the first things I said to her was ‘Why are you always so happy?’ Because it’s pretty much the opposite of my default mode at the time.  She just replied ‘I’m a happy girl.’ Well, this sounded like someone whose influence I could enjoy.

Outgoing.  Amy is somewhat extroverted but not in an obvious way.  She told me that when she was still in high school her friends couldn’t believe that she would just go up to foreigner strangers in bars and start talking with them.  She has no fear in this regard and can make friends easily.

Hardworking.  When she has a goal in mind she will work hard towards it.  From running her own business in Thailand to moving countries, studying, cooking and more lately housekeeping – she puts all she has into it.

Good with money.  Amy has always managed to budget well even in what seem like difficult circumstances. And she can still enjoy herself without fear of spending money when it makes her feel good. I’m happy for her to take care of our finances.

Loves cats (and good dogs!).  A first judgement can be made on many people by their love of animals.  A love of animals shows the ability for compassion.  Amy will do anything for our cats.

I took this picture because Hayden called me as I was talking with these students and they all shouted hello to him. I figured he might like to see his new fans, Sarah, Toey, Iphone, Pump and Ozone.

Dead Fred – 9th January 2023

It’s a baggy-eyed business
This thinking of words
Hoping just sleeping
On the line with the birds

A birthday party is humming
A familiar feeling of lack
It’s an obscene affair
But those words are coming back

based on Nick Cave’s Red Hand Files #217


Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed and happy

Today I’m grateful for:

The bathroom at House. I had to go into the city after drinking coffees and water at House and in the time from leaving to heading back school I was busting. I didn’t think I’d make it to school so quickly ducked back to use the bathroom at House – just in time!

The best thing about today was:

Eating the bread that Nut made and brought round yesterday along with the smoked salmon and cream cheese Amy left here. I’m so happy to have people around me to feed me!

Also talking with Amy on video call. Though she’s far away it feels like she’s right here. Conversation and communication hasn’t changed since she left, just the method.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I think it’s good that it’s getting harder to think of things that were out of my control. I don’t recognise those things so easily now as they don’t affect me, I’ve let go. Sure, there was lots that was out of my control today but it was all inconsequential. Can I say they were handled without even thinking?

Something I learned today?

Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken was written as a jest to his friend but has been turned, rightfully I think, into a call for individualism and taking chances. I like Frost’s quip ‘I’m never more serious than when I’m joking.’ Truth is often told in jest.

Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

Physically I’m relatively uncluttered these days. As I’ve gotten older, the spaces I’ve lived in have gotten bigger whilst I’ve been buying less. So the stuff I do have is just more spread out. Digitally I’m trying to reduce the clutter of my photos and music library. This has involved me doing nothing so far but knowing that this is where I can reduce clutter in my life.

I took this picture on Saturday because it’s all about the edges. Where the water meets the land, dividing it, where stories are made and bridges built. The mountains and the sky, clear division.

First full school day with no Amy. Back to business as usual.

Running around a little today getting together things for my work permit. So much paper waste in Thailand. 7 copies of every stamped passport page! Once this paper is filed it will never be seen again.

Good classes today, kids happy enough, teacher happy enough. I’m starting to sit back a little and can see some self-motivation from some of the students now.

Mum and Dad’s plumbing guy came and fixed up my pipe and it looks ok except for the hole in the concrete. I’ll have to figure out how to take care of it at some point I guess. Maybe just fill it with sand. Anyway, only around 600 baht to sort out. Happy with that.

Tangmo rolled around the grass as I caught up on watering.

Talked to Amy about the coming year and how things might work out. I think the seed has been planted to do something here but there are another 6-12 months for new ideas to pop up.

Poems on this day – 19th May 2021

Work Moderately, Play Moderately

Our tendency to compromise
Our choreographed shedding of inhibitions
Our sheer ordinariness
With some notable exceptions

Our eccentricities are conformist
We are neither ‘sir’ nor ‘card’
Everything in moderation
We neither work nor play hard

Far from wild and reckless
We rely on rare risk takers
We are cautious and unadventurous
Not really movers and shakers

Oh, our English dis-ease
That others misunderstand as such
As long as they don’t bother us
Thank you very much!

Almost all this text is manipulated from pg 551 of ‘Watching the English’ by Kate Fox – so, being English, I must talk about the weather…

35 and Relief

Sweat trickled down my chest
My eyes were sweating too
The storm clouds soon disappeared
The skies now a whitish blue
I never thought it could happen
To feel my sweating teeth
Thank god the temperature dropped
To 35 and relief

Giles in the World

In economic globalisation
We seldom wonder where
Our vegetables are grown
Nor do we even care
Trade among our nations
Faceless labour makes
Can you name your farmer?*
And what their effort takes

*This inspirational line is also from ‘Watching the English’ which I had just finished reading and then started on Ursula Le Guin’s Dispossessed, whose introduction page led to this….

New Settler

A self-exiled society
Had taken one step away
Yet he had taken two

The certainty of isolation
He lived his life day by day
Without his common crew

A sacrifice for greater good
To show them a better way
Stood upright and true

Asserted his true condition
Wherever his hat may lay
Somehow, he always knew

He stood by himself
With little left for him to say
And nothing left to do


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all the heat discomfort I felt yesterday as it was hot and sticky from waking up in the morning until night and into today. It made me appreciate aircon rooms and cars and the pleasure of being able to cool down again.


This is about the fifth day of unbearable heat and humidity. It’s been hotter before this year, but the humidity is making things feel much worse. I don’t like to complain about it, but I am very thankful when I can get back into aircon, though I would much prefer fresh air. Ha – sometimes I miss England – or the chance to go to the beach and cool down like is so easy in Australia.

We’ve been back at school for more than a week now, and no one has asked us to do anything in particular, so I’ve been plowing through my book, catching up on other reading that I skipped during the holiday, as well as writing more poetry, which has been quite fulfilling.

Last night, I read about Dave Drayton’s P(oe)Ms and really loved the idea of writing a poem for each Australian Prime Minister and using an anagram of their name. I can see in my old poems that I was much more playful with words, even to the point where I can’t even recognise exactly what the literal meaning or intention of some of them were. I notice that I am not quite as clever these days, though I do probably make my points much clearer.

I still have an aversion to reading other people’s poetry though – it just doesn’t seem that interesting. Like making improvised music as opposed to listening to it.

On Monday, I felt particularly ecstatic for some reason. Perhaps getting back into my short exercise routine before work and the pleasure of lots of free time to fill as I wish. But yesterday, the edge wore off a little bit, and despite enjoying it, something still felt not quite right. I wonder what it is, what changes? The food I ate? The interactions with others? The temperature? The environment? Did I drink enough water?

Some days just don’t seem to be a good feeling, and it is difficult to identify. It certainly wasn’t a terrible day, and nothing out of the ordinary happened. I just wasn’t feeling it as compared to the day before. I sometimes consider I have mild bipolar, but it doesn’t affect me to be debilitating, and when I feel down or exhausted, I just write off the day, deal with it as best I can and console myself that tomorrow is a new day.

I’m thinking to call Sharon and ask her about Granny’s diaries – I wonder what they contain. I did see them once and don’t recall anything specifically, but it may be interesting just to see what was in her mind. Or would it be boring? Anyway, I should find out just for curiosity.

I’m filled with ideas and enthusiasm most of the time and finding again the things that seem to bring me joy. Life is pretty good for me right now – and when I say right now, I mean as I sit here writing this. Tomorrow may be different, tonight, or even the next five minutes. So, I’ll just enjoy this right now. Another coffee and another chapter of my book.

The Art of Noticing Chairs – 14th April 2021

Inspired by the email newsletter from Rob Walker I’ve been trying to take notice of simple and mundane things. A nice practice to remind oneself that everything is now.

This first post is chairs. This was pretty easy – it’s actually the second thing I chose to start noticing but completed (finding 10 items) first. I’ll post more of these as they are completed, which may be a while as we are back in a lockdown situation again due to the rising number of cases of Covid 19 across Thailand.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that we have a car and that we can take Kim back to the vet this morning as she isn’t recovering from a cold and can’t breathe properly. It’s lockdown time and we’re a little worried to go out but at least this negative aspect gets us out of the house briefly. So somewhat grateful for this trying time.


A beautiful sleep last night, with the windows open and a fan sucking in the cool air, sourced from a thunderstorm that slowly developed over the mountains and brought us some rain, not too much but steady and nutritious for our plants. Dosing off to departing claps of thunder was soothing and restful.

I felt slightly tired and anxious yesterday, for no particular reason at all and today is the opposite, for no particular reason too.

Everything I do makes me happy.

We got that attitude! – 2nd April 2021

I am so happy and grateful for this to be the last day of school and now I can enjoy 4 weeks away from there. I’ve enjoyed teaching this year and I’m grateful to everyone I have worked with there.


A nice way to end the school year. Reading, drinking coffee, visiting Matt, collecting marijuana which made my car smell fabulous, reading some more, taking Cap to the vet, teaching Maeve, playing guitar and now I’m going inside to watch YouTube and read some Mo Yan and comics. Tired and happy.

It’s nice… it’s my mind that’s off guard – 1st July 2020

Kids come back to school. See how it goes.

Tigger sprays on the floor. No tissue to clean.

Good five-minute warmup workout better than yesterday. Happy – feeling happy a little tired and sleepy but awake if not alert. Some aches from drilling on the weekend. Hurt hurt. Yawn. Did things and doing things – keep going – want to do more. Have things to do at school. No problem.

Enjoying life – reading, music, TV – looking at the stars – the rain – not so much the heat! I can’t stay happy. Amy is happy most of the time. We have our world – we only let the right people in.

Weight: 79.3kg
Resting heart rate: 44

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I don’t have to do any work this morning even though the kids are back at school. I offered to do something but was told it was ok.

To-do list

  • Compliment – savour – positive wishes ✅
  • Post more TCRAH to blog ✅
  • Finish and audio and video ✅
  • Record more blog entries to catch up ✅

It was weird to have students around the school again but it was good to see some of my old students and they seemed happy to see me again. Lots of students showed their love for George and were very happy.

We ended up not doing anything again today and George thought we could get out for coffee if we really wanted to but I didn’t think that was such a good idea. I also offered myself to help with Teacher Champ but he said not to worry.

Anyway – I managed to cross off all my tasks today – reminding myself about complimenting people – JJ and Sheena.

I savoured my lunch as usual – but I put more effort into it. I also offered private best wishes to everyone though I could have thought to do that whilst stuck in traffic trying to get out of school. It took me an hour to get home today whereas it normally takes 20 minutes.

So, first day is done and we can relax into whatever it is that we end up doing. It’s good that there doesn’t seem to be much pressure on us even when we will have to teach. The environment here is very good so far.

I have been doing very short workouts in the morning, along with meditating, writing and language learning – all before going to work. It feels good to have achieved those things early in the day and it seems like they are having a beneficial effect on my thoughts.

Bronwyn told me that Hayden isn’t doing too well today. I didn’t have chance to call him during the day and he didn’t pick up when I tried when I got home. I hope he’s ok and pulls through all this.

Tomorrow, I have to renew my visa and not expecting any problems this time. It should be another simple enough day and anyway, I think I’m prepared for anything else that comes my way.

These pleasures a wayward distraction – 25th June 2020

Quick one because want to do longer meditation. Woke up at 4:30 – hard to sleep. Tired now. Rub my stomach – left-hand side tender. Happy.

Hayden wants a face tattoo. Why? Will further isolate himself. Hope he doesn’t do that. Ugh.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have the opportunity to sit and enjoy conversations with people I like.

To-do list

  • Film story in canteen – have fun ✅
  • Silent wishes – compliments – savour ✅
  • ‘Thank you’ mantra and meditation exercises ½
  • Edit and schedule two blog posts ½
  • Plan tenzenmen Google site?

I enjoyed today though have been worrying about Hayden a little as he was talking about getting a face tattoo! Now, in theory, I have no objection to this but I think he cannot reasonably justify doing such a thing. Of course, he tried to justify it but it’s not reasonable. He is low in confidence and self-esteem and wants to push everything away from him.

It’s one thing to say that people shouldn’t judge you by your looks and if they do then they’re not worth knowing – but that is also a judgement back on those people. It would immediately cut off so many future possibilities.

I felt good again and had fun with the student teachers making a small video and planned for some more audio recording tomorrow. It was an entertaining and happy day.

It gets deeper, let me say and it gets higher day by day – 16th June 2020

Trip undertaken on 31st May 2020

Sleeping alone out in my office man cave meant being able to listen to music quietly through the night and I sometimes approached consciousness and felt deep involvement in the sounds in the room. I have no idea of those sounds or songs once awake again and I also had to turn off the stereo when a long noise piece came up on the shuffle as the sun was rising outside.

The sofa in my room is plenty comfortable for a one-hour nap but not so great for a whole night and as the brightening day chased away the night I threw down a couple of glasses of water and headed out on the motorbike with the intention of heading into the mountains to see if I could get to the stupa that is visible from the fourth floor of our school.

I had a rough idea of where to go and figured it wouldn’t take too long and could get back home before the day got too hot. It was a little cloudy and the big rain the day before had cooled everything down by a couple of degrees too.

But first, to Utopia to throw down a couple of coffees to get fully charged. They perfectly hit the spot and I hit the road in earnest.

I had a rough idea of the direction to head towards, which involved going over a road I travelled down with Amy a few weeks previously. I took the highway down to the other university in the area, this being the first time I have actually gone that far on this road. It’s usually a little hectic on this road with lots of crazy aunties just pulling out from side-roads and houses on their dilapidated old motorcycles, so I was glad to get down there and off towards the university as soon as possible.

Around to the side is a huge pond of water lilies with flowers yet open looking like massive cabbages on stalks.

A little further and a fishing lake with views towards the mountains at the back of my house.

Onwards towards the hot spring and then across to the Big Buddha, which isn’t a Buddha at all, but the Chinese goddess, Kwanyin.

Big Buddha is easier to say and absolutely everyone knows where you mean. This monument is a good landmark as you head into the mountains too.

To get there you have to pass a landfill which is tucked between a couple of hills and only announces itself as you turn a corner and the stench hits the back of your throat. Here the road crumbles down to a dirt track but having been here fairly recently I remembered the way through. The old wooden houses here are dirty and rotten and mangy old dogs stare at you if they can even be bothered to lift their heads from their slumber.

Then it’s onto the bypass – another scary proposition but at least there are not many side roads here for motorcycles to sudden pull out from, it’s just the speeding trucks to be aware of. Fortunately this newish road is still not used that much and it’s an enjoyable ride along. At the bridge I can see the stupa in the distance that is my planned destination (the little white dot on the mid-left in the picture above). The hill in the foreground grabs my attention though as there is a house up there as well as another Buddhist monument. How the hell do you get up there – the view must be amazing. One day in the future I will find out.

The opposite view takes in the river, which flows towards the city. It looks fairly sedate but from my one experience of falling in I can confirm it flows quite fast! The ground is dry yet the jungle manages to maintain well enough. We’re approaching the rainy season and there was a big rain a few days prior but not enough to waterlog anything yet.

Here’s the side on view of the same hill, it looks like the monks accommodation is in the white building but there’s no obvious temple here. Apparently there are caves in here somewhere too. Investigate later.

The red trees are flowering everywhere though the photos don’t really show up how bright they are. I love these rigid lines of plants growing, they counter the randomness of everything else here in Thailand.

I don’t know what the plants are. Anyone know?

Further on, I’m struck by this modern looking building on the hill – what a great place to live. A couple of hundred metres down the road and there is a sign indicating that there is a coffee shop up there, so what the hell, let’s go have another coffee and see what the view is like. The toilet is a tiny cute shack but I couldn’t find a light so had to guess with the small amount of light penetrating the gaps and cracks in the wooden frame. I think I got some in the bowl.

And the view was indeed fabulous. Yet another Instagram cafe here in Chiang Rai. Everyone seems to have one. The owners house, back and above the cafe looked magnificent, with two big dogs lazily guarding the gate. And the coffee was great, along with the refreshing tea that comes with it.

Just around the corner I noticed a big dragon staircase being built and a road up the hill next to it, so I nosily went to have a look. The top opened out into this area with this beautiful tree which I wanted to take home and use for shade in our garden. Behind the tree is a small stupa and I’m wondering now if this was the one I could see before. I thought it was a bit further along than here but I actually didn’t end up going to where I had planned to see what was there. Again, plenty of time to go back and investigate again.

I’m a sucker for these red flowering trees.

And in the distance here, again, not accurately significant in this picture, a huge pink flowering tree that I hoped to see more of so I could get a picture close up.

I was due to turn away from the river so stopped a few times to take more pictures. Here, two locals were walking along the banks, possibly looking for fishing spots. They saw me and shouted ‘Hello’ as I replied ‘Sawatdee khap’ in return. People are generally happy and friendly everywhere I go. They are curious about what you are doing and give them something to gossip about when the community gathers in the evenings.

This picture was taken at a covered area with a few plastic chairs scattered around – probably the community gathering spot. Like everything, it’s dirty and dusty and looks unused and anywhere can a meeting place anyway. Who knows what happens here at night?

This monument presumably brings luck and abundance to the surrounding land. I haven’t seem any other places similar to this.

I started deviating from the plan I had in my mind (actually I forgot to turn off at the right point) and ended up in this strange village with just a few buildings and didn’t look like many people were around. Maybe it’s just one big extended family living here. Their mango tree is doing better than ours.

And so I started heading up…

…and the views got more spectacular.

Finally a waterfall. However, the road ahead was begging me to keep going, so I did. I don’t know how to measure inclines but this picture doesn’t really show just how steep it was. And beyond here an Akha village where everyone was gathering for the Sunday church service. Beautiful hymnal singing came out of the building, in what sounded like the local language, making it all the more intriguing to me. There were many locals standing around, staring at the dumb lost foreigner and I felt like I was invading their space somewhat, so chose to head on. That was a mistake, as the hill got ever steeper and thinner until the road ran out at a house at the very top. As I tried to manoveur around on the slope, with out rolling backwards and over the edge, the owner came out to see what the noise was and told me, in English, I had to go back and turn at the bottom of the hill. I didn’t realise yet but I’d totally missed the turn off I should have taken and ended up here.

I went back down the hill and tried to ride up to the waterfall. I only got about 15 metres before the path was blocked and not knowing just how far the waterfall was (I have walked to other waterfalls for several hours without ever finding them!) I just took this quick snap and turned back. Friends tell me later that it isn’t much further along, so, again, one for another time.

I head back down hill looking for this turn off I should have taken. Google Maps shows it as a major throughway so I’m looking for some solid concrete road. The local kids are bemused to see me riding up and down looking for it.

And it turns out this is the main road – actually the only road – through the mountains going south. Here it is a little wider, the actually entry from the road I was on is little more than an overgrown foot track. And once again I’m heading up but this time through some slippery, sloppy muddy parts.

First part navigated and things dry out a bit. But I’m still going up and I’m starting to hear and smell the engine working hard over this tough irregular road. It’s a struggle and at some points I ponder turning back. But the thought that there might be something special just around the corner spurs me on.

I’m also spurred on my the fact that there are relatively fresh bike tracks along here which means that it is still getting used often enough that I can be rescued if the need be! In fact I start to worry about hitting a rock and falling off and breaking bones. But not enough to stop me. Around here I could also start to hear the buzzing of chainsaws so I figured these bikes tracks may have been made today. It was only a few minutes later I realised it was the buzz and rattle of cicadas (or whatever other bugs make noise in here).

Up and up and just a small gap in the bamboo jungle. Now I have to hope that Google Maps is keeping me on track.

This one is still one the way up. About another 15 minutes later I reached a peak and took some video (which I can’t upload here). It’s a panaroma around both sides of the ridge and it is absolutely silent except the buzzing of insects. No industry, no people, no machines. Just nature. If you can zoom in to this picture you’ll find Kwanyin as a tiny white dot in the distance.

And so, to the other side. Now, getting down was a scarier prospect than going up. Just over the edge here turned into thick mud and brakes became less functional. I could hear the roar of engines in the distance and presently four teenagers rounded the corner on their trail bikes and we smiled and nodded at each other and I’m sure they had a good laugh at the silly foreigner trying to navigate these roads with his little step through motorbike. Whatever, I made it down safely.

Going down hill didn’t last for long as I finally arrived at this village which was only 4 kms away from the main road but had taken me about an hour to get here. At each village the road returns to concrete until you get to the other side. At each concrete road I had thought I had arrived back on regular routes, only to discover more mud just around the corner, or, once again, up the hill. It was also threatening to rain up here but only managed a spit.

If you’re going to live in a wooden shack, make sure it’s the best spot in the village. Up some more again.

Zooming in on this shows the ridges of the mountains repeating off into the distance. It was around here I started to feel a natural ecstasy. A oneness, a wholeness. Goddamn, I want to hold on to that feeling.

I joked with myself that I was getting sick of seeing beautiful things over and over again. It just didn’t stop. When I showed Amy these pictures later she was very blazé about them. ‘It’s my country, it’s what I’ve seen all my life.’ I was intoxicated, however.

Here, the local soccer pitch looks like it could use some loving. Just to the right is a Chinese gravesite, looking over the valley which runs long and wide. ‘Bury Me High’ indeed.

Yet, it seems I can still go further up. A couple of spots of farmers burning crops thankfully weren’t enough to smog up everywhere.

Scenes like these make we want to travel more. This one reminds me of places in Sichuan province in China and I also love the mountains in Switzerland.

I guess I’m a mountain person but I think I equally enjoy the beach. 22 years in Sydney probably took care of my beach pleasures though there are times here in Chiang Rai when I wish it was possible to just go rush into the cold waters of the ocean again.

Finally I made it to the other side, about 4 hours after leaving on what I thought would perhaps only take 2 hours in total. I still had to get back yet. This view is to the south of Chiang Rai – all the others had been looking north or west.

I didn’t take any more pictures as I was going down again as I was hanging on for dear life, most of the way, followed by trucks and other motorbikes and sometimes negotiating tractors and other farming vehicles.

And finally a rest stop, with 4g connection and I tell Amy I’m fine and not to worry. I call my friend to meet for lunch in about an hour at a cafe back near the river. I basically completed a large circle on my journey and would finally end up back on the bypass.

But, I still had an hour before needing to be at the cafe and going directly there by road would only take about 20 minutes. So I rode around Singha Park, enjoying it’s manicured grounds, and ended up coming out the other side back near the mountains again. Another hill tribe village and a check of Google and there looked like roads to make it through, so let’s go and see.

Quickly, the farm land was taken over by rows and rows of pineapple and these dirt roads petered out into walking tracks. Still, Google showed that there was a way through so after crossing a couple of streams I finally found a way out.

Here the vista opened up to these papaya trees and a happy dog was lounging in the shade of the rubber trees on the right.

All around this hill sat various Buddha images which I lost count of as I rode on past. After meeting my friends for lunch I headed home as directly as possible as my skin was already turning crab coloured from sunburn. I made it back at 4pm. Once this sunburn was healed I hope I can go out again. I might also have to wait for the rainy season to finish too. There’s been a couple of big rains since this adventure which may have made much of this journey impossible now.


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can remember that 24 hours can change everything. One day you can feel so bad but the next day things become good.


Brain dump

Better, better, better today, glad to be feeling this way. Are you reading this, future me? Future anyone? Can you read this drivel scribble?

Naked Reagan Vanilla Blue – but I’m okay. Talking with Hayden on the first floor (sunshine girl in hotpants buying drinks) we make an agreement to tell each other more about our lives. He has gone through the wringer and I can tell he is grateful for our support. He tries to make me feel better and I really appreciate that.

Memory goes in and out – trying to recall things in my past – maybe removing things from now. Doesn’t matter too much but Amy gets mad. What a life! I’ve been and done little compared with some but done so much compared with others. Rise, fall, rise.

So many books. Loving reading – take me to a different world. Thankful. Time to meditate.

To-do list

  • Silent good wishes – compliment – smile ✅
  • Enjoy the dentist – as always ½
  • Take pictures for visa
  • Do some more for Nu’s zine
  • Find things to print for Aing too ✅

Quiet day today – feeling fine – except the dentist was not so much fun today – a little painful but I tried to breathe through it. Now the numbness has worn off, the pain is coming through again and giving me a big headache.

Tomorrow will likely be another quiet day so, a good opportunity to try and repeat some better habits. With only a couple of more weeks of free time left, I should take advantage of this.


Are you living in line with what you value?

Yes, and this is causing some difficulty for me as I cannot accept the cultural difference here in Thailand.  I value fairness and justice and finding elements of corruption permeate society here, gossip can rule the day here.  It’s a difficult adjustment and not one I’m sure I can endure.