And see how his face glows – 26th December 2019

Yesterday I was completely lifted by having three good fun lessons which the students and I all enjoyed. Then I went to visit CRPAO again.

The feeling there is still not good (for me, anyway) but my old classes were very happy to see me and I was surprised at Simone’s students who smothered me in hugs and were very affectionate. I made a point to see Funfai – she’s so cute! She said she misses me and it was very lovely. I felt very much appreciated after that.

27th Dec 2023 – I just last week found out that this wasn’t Funfai at all but another student (Funfai and Lydia thought is called) Sugus.

I was still tired when I got home but felt more invigorated. Today is my easy day so everything has come back together nicely. I’m glad I didn’t let that glum feeling get me down at the beginning of the week

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have met the students at CRPAO and was very surprised at the reaction of Simone’s kids, they jumped on me and pulled me to the ground they were so happy to see me.

To-do list

  • No complaints out of your mouth.
  • Finish week 15 lesson – have lots of time.
  • Compliment another teacher.
  • Positive feedback for students.
  • Study next Thai video and more Drops.
  • Think about when can record more TCRAH.
  • Consider what to talk with Hayden and how he is feeling.

Did it list

  • Wrote to-do list in the morning.
  • Deleted all games off phone.
  • Stayed calm all day.
  • Noticed when I complained and stopped myself.
  • Read three chapters of book.
  • Stayed calm when I found out we’d be staying at Rak’s house for dinner even though I had hoped to return home.
  • Even though got home late, went and watched Thai video. Also did Drops today.
  • Rang Hayden and tried to sound positive without being overbearing.
  • Finished week 15 lesson.
  • Told students it was their decision if they want to do homework.

After reading an article I instantly deleted all games off my phone. The article was simple and direct. ‘Don’t play games on your phone. You are an adult.’
I got a message from Bronwyn in the morning saying Hayden was upset by the messages I was sending him, trying to help him and to call for Christmas. This message made me a little mad – why doesn’t he just call me and so what if he’s upset. He should be upset and be motivated to improve his life. I wrote a note to myself to think about later – ‘things I like about Hayden.’ I tried to think about how he was feeling and called him in the afternoon. He sounded fairly upbeat and was talking about becoming a firefighter. I’d like that to happen.

STE Bulletin – 2nd July 1994

Shaun’s Show

The last 2 S.T.E. gigs at the Joiners have really impressed me and I don’t just mean band/music-wise. Being a long-time friend of the S.T.E. Collective, I feel reasonably comfortable at the gigs and the Joiners where most have been in the last 4 years and I guess I know pretty well what to expect.

Over the time, one gig sticks out as being particularly good and that was seeing Green Day play around the time of Rich’s birthday. Green Day, as you probably well know, are good fun blokes and raised many a moshing smile that night, dragging Rich on-stage for a rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ amongst other mad moments.

I got to meet and talk to Larry Livermore which was way cool and everyone there was smiling and talking to each other and having fun. There was a sense of achievement and a spirit of one-ness (Rob thinks he’s got the monopoly on taking hippy shit!). Fuck, you know what I mean, don’t you?

Anyway, I got that feeling again last week, while seeing Thirst/The Harries/Rhythm Collision. I was stuck most of the night behind the record stall but it gave me a great vantage point to look and watch everyone and get a good feel of the atmosphere. It was good to see many happy faces and excellent to see new ones (and Rocket From The Crypt t-shirts!) and girls too seem to be coming forward more and more into the gigs, which is great. Gigs can still seem intimidating sometimes.

Thirst played a good set, getting better all the time and always getting a reaction one way or another from the crowd! Both The Harries and Rhythm Collision play music that’s not really to my taste (I don’t like Green Day much either) but it’s got that foot-tapping happy tone to it, that makes you feel good inside. 

Many people hung around afterwards and chatted to the bands and with friends and as I was talking to Rhythm Collision’s guitarist, it suddenly struck me that what’s going on here is bigger than all of us (though made up by us).

There I was talking to a complete stranger about my forthcoming trip to Oz and finding out we both have a mutual friend there. I’ve heard it said that hardcore is the second biggest underground organisation in the world (next to the Mafia!). Who knows if that’s true but it seemed cool to me that I have friends all around the world, who I’ve never spoken to, written to or even met yet. The main thing that draws us together being music (and sometimes politics).

The second gig – Thirst/Zimmer Frames/Bedlam Hour – proved even more so, the trust and respect that us punks give and take from each other. Bedlam Hour toured without any equipment (relying on being able to use other bands’ when they got to the gig) and organised their whole European tour themselves from names and addresses in ‘Book Your Own Fuckin’ Life’ magazine.

Here they were in Southampton, thousands of miles from home, welcomed into our friendly atmosphere. They were the most friendly, admirable people you could ever wish to meet.

The one thing that got the crowd going being a magnificent rendition of Minor Threat’s ‘In My Eyes’ sung by Queer Rob. From then on, everyone was convinced. I saw guys at the bar looking on, thinking ‘Who the hell is this band?’, who were now jumping up and down and sideways, with their pals.

Girls not sure about the huge bulldozer bass player with udders were now laughing along at the absurd fun everyone was having.

Note should be made of Queer Rob’s Art Deco dancing (too much Big Breakfast methinks!) to Thirst and The Zimmer Frames great sets.

These gigs were certainly events to be proud of and now let’s look forward to the next gig and all those to come in the future. Sharing our music, our friendship, proud in the knowledge we are part of something bigger and that we are making a difference.