As the summer days came by, drifting, my demeanour grew more uplifting; I took to sitting upon the sill, to occupy the sunshine’s gifting.
Long gone the air of old winter’s chill, April showers and softening still; the harshness of all those darkest nights; open the window to dog days thrill.
Ever changing, yet familiar sights, somehow, the world now set to rights, Lee and Nancy, with their velvet song, saw me shine under the bright stage lights.
The future mine, I could do no wrong; angels of innocence kept me strong; yet now, the window, open too long, the chill returns, and my hope all gone.
Nancy her deep blue eyes watch me from the cover first stirrings of teenage dreaming beauty
During the summer, when I was 11 or 12, I would sit on the sill of my bedroom window with the window open to the birds and my imagination. I would imagine that I was the next Lee Hazlewood singing along to the whole of the Lee and Nancy album and hoping that I would be talent-spotted by any random passerby, of which there were very few as I lived in a remote countryside village. Not helped by the fact that I would duck away in shyness if anyone ever did come by! I was also a terrible singer.
I remember this album cover clearly and was sure that Nancy Sinatra had blue eyes! I can still see it in my mind!
Did I just write a seasonal poem, too? I may have to kill myself.
Minnesota Pocket Circuit, aka M.P.C, is a hyper energetic midwest emo band with huge screamo influence. Embrace the Twinkly guitar riffs, highly energetic drums, and silly goofy depressing vocals and lyrics!
Split release between Desperate Infant Records in Hong Kong and tenzenmen in Thailand.
Super tired as I definitely didn’t catch up on any missed sleep from Sunday night. Never mind. I’ll have to try tonight.
I was looking forward to sitting down with some coffee and free time when my grade 9 students called me and asked to move their class from the afternoon to this morning again.
As this kinda suits me too, leaving the afternoon free, I rushed back and we went in search of a free room, ending up in the library.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong Kratae for helping out Anchan as much as she can. It may not be much and it may not be enough for Anchan but Kratae is offering some hope at least. I will have to think of something that I can do for her as thanks one day. And I will ask Anchan for suggestions and if she can contribute in some way too.
The best thing about today was:
I felt my health improve a little over the day, especially mentally. Somehow, being at school is picking me up mentally, whilst seemingly running me down physically.
I was particularly energised after my grade 8 class finished at 12.30 but I didn’t leave school for another 45 minutes as various groups of students came to distract me, wanting to chat.
Something I learned today?
After much hassling from my students, I installed Instagram and TikTok and have been trying to work out how they work and if they are even remotely useful for me.
I still don’t quite get them or how they work. At the end of the day, I just want to use this software to stay in contact with my students in the future.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
As I was contemplating being able to finish early and go home, Anchan messaged me asking to go with her to Nong Kratae’s for the first time today this afternoon.
I guess as I wasn’t due to finish until 4.30 pm anyway, then it’s not a big deal and I’m hanging around at House catching up on reading and writing. Trying to get my brain back into poem-writing mode after a few days away from writing.
Tonkhaw took this picture because….he was happy to see his teacher hard at work, perhaps?
Behind the smiles, sharpened fangs The soft face belies a strength When considered less than human She will go to any length To give you a pause for reflection A reconsideration of your role Don’t imagine her at your level With the humanity you stole For her, it’s just another fight One she’s fought so often The rage never dissipates And she’s careful not to soften
Written after seeing a particularly strong performance by a front woman for a band (SpeechOdd) and their song ‘More Than Decoration’.
Exhausted. I think that I slept deeply but only in small bursts, so that I woke up well before my alarm and realised that I needed way more rest and so I reset my alarm and decided not to go to school today. I’m glad I did.
My alarm woke me up again at 7.30 and I sent messages to Kru Mai and sent some work for my morning class to complete and send to me. Then it was back to sleep.
Around what I thought was maybe 10 am, I thought about maybe getting up but then checking my phone, I found that it was already 2pm! I got up quickly, though still groggy and dozy. I got on my laptop and sent work to my afternoon class that was due to start in 30 minutes.
After that, I almost fell asleep again watching videos and at around 5 pm, Amy made me fish congee with ginger, which made me feel much better, though I’m about to get back into bed again now at 8.30.
I think I’ll be ok to go to school tomorrow but the morning will tell for sure.
Today I’m grateful for:
The delivery guy who dropped off the record covers from Malaysia, though, didn’t contact me until later to pay the customs fee. I don’t know what he would’ve done if I hadn’t paid him but I knew this was coming and happy to do the right thing despite how fucking annoying paying these fees are.
I can’t imagine anyone in the West trusting people like that.
The best thing about today was:
Catching up my exhausted body. Have done little else today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Naturally, sending my students work to do whilst I’m not in class causes more work for me – especially with the students who don’t bother to do anything and I have to chase them up.
Wound tight, played precise A night fight, all that jazz Voodoo spell, doll will dance Deadside hell and razzmatazz Pagan sages, a ragtime roll Inner rages in shadow hours Pinprick pain, man divided Ridden insane by fiendish powers
Bennu is a Heron 2023全新EP -「despite the world is so big, but not a corner belongs to me」現已上線。 四曲自我記錄忠實呈現，獻給2019 – 2022的我們，祝好。
Home, Sweet Home 「未曾問你來自哪裡。」 關於家，關於身份，關於歸屬，關於靈魂的容納之處。
Injurer 「你還像從前那般？」 關於憤怒，關於立場，關於公義，關於變成曾經憎恨的人。
My Dream 「昨晚睡得好嗎？」 關於愛，關於記憶，關於留戀，關於每一個不眠之夜。
Fairy Tale 「你啟程後，不會再回來了吧。」 關於海，關於浪漫，關於自我，關於不設限的未知旅程。
實體將於10月發售
Vinyl release is a DIY worldwide co-operative with: Desperate Infant Records Qiii Snacks Records Sango Records ungulates 22 Records Calm Lake Records tenzenmen Gizzmoix Records
Originally digitally released by Sango Records @sangorecords and Desperate Infant Records @desperate.infant.records Recording by 伟松&拓坤@RC Studio, Nam@Zhuying Studio and Sam@Home Mixing / Mastering by Brian@Sound Blade Studio Artwork by Jumpgate, Saki, Yellow and Jinbo
Bennu is a Heron (Guangzhou, China) 贝努是只苍鹭，来自广州的 Skramz / Emoviolence 乐团，由多支 Hardcore 乐团的乐手组成。 以所见、所闻、所想为出发点，直白陈述内心情绪。 Vocal – Jinbo Guitars – Sam & Joe Bass – Gao Drums – Chal
Today I’m feeling:
Still a little dusty and vague. Predictably, last night I didn’t sleep well as indigestion bothered my stomach and the oysters bothered my guts.
A really vivid poop dream got me out of bed as the oysters decided to make their early exit and it was a struggle to get a good deep sleep after that.
Today I’m grateful for:
Starting to feel normal again this evening. Even early this afternoon I could still taste Friday night’s whiskey in my mouth. This evening I seem to have my energy and motivation back after pushing through with a few things this afternoon.
The best thing about today was:
Sorting things out this afternoon for the Bennu 12” release and the upcoming MPC CD, downloading some comics, listening to some tunes and playing a bit of guitar. I have to try and force myself into my room this week to play some more. No book reading again this weekend sadly. I really want to read more but seem more invested in YouTubing. I’m going to turn off the video I’m about to watch and read instead.
Something I learned today?
Watching the Swans mini-match I found out that we lost by one point in a poor game. Hopefully, it keeps us from being complacent.
When the bottle was empty of pills There’s no time left to grow Amongst so many ills It’s the bitterest one to swallow
When the son takes the rope Believing there’s no place to go Those left now to cope Traverse the river of sorrow
When attention wasn’t sought And she suddenly became the show Life is no longer a thought Slipped into the undertow
So pass the many hours That survivors will never know And drift away the flowers Along the river of sorrow
Today I’m feeling:
Fuzzy and weird. After a delicious afternoon nap yesterday I got into reading comics so much in the evening that I was up just past midnight. I shoved down some medicine in the hope of waking up flu-free and slept reasonably well until 11. I do feel better but fuzzy around the edges, eyes unable to focus 100%.
Today I’m grateful for:
Matt for buying me a drink and giving me half a pack of tramadol after running across to Central.
The best thing about today was:
Seeing live music in Chiang Rai. Punk, hardcore, metal! Who’d’ve thought?
Something I learned today?
A Wall Street Journal report says Iran is having trouble reining in “Iran-backed militias” and offers one reason why: The US killed the guy who was good at reining them in!
I took this picture because this was the venue for the show before dark. The sound inside wasn’t fantastic due to the stage being shoved in the corner which is circular. This made for some wild and interesting sound distortions from the guitars though.
It’s time to leave, time to live The tough have already got going The soft remain inactive But deep down already knowing
It’s time to go, time to be gone Let the waste remain in this place Time is forever marching on And taking up so much space
The magnetic pull unwavering Stick the cynics in the bin Tomorrow is not worth savouring If the journey doesn’t begin
Once again, inspired by this post at Spinning Visions. I am usually inspired by things I see, hear and read (more than conjuring things from the depths of my brain – at least, these days) and I’m catching up on reading Makenna’s journey via her blog.
The Blackened Screamo powercell from İstanbul, Jornada Del Muerto (featuring members of The Ousted, Burn Her Letters, ria, pembe, Noisy Sins Of The Insect, Slave Training) unveils their brand new full length “Pinturas Negras” via 11 DIY labels (see below) Mixed and Mastered by Pete Grossman at Bricktop Recording who has an excellent discography, such as Inclination, Frail Body, Uglybones, LUCA, Crowning…
Having released a cathartic and well-written debut album in 2021, the blackened screamo act Jornada Del Muerto dedicates Pinturas Negras to Goya’s “Black Paintings” in lyrical and musical ways. 14 songs for 14 paintings.
The band took it to the next level with their new release: while the band is maintaining the short-songs-with-violent-outbursts kind of approach with their songs, it is very clear that Jornada Del Muerto has given a lot of thought to the instrumentation of their new songs as the riffing and the song structures are very on point. The band makes it known to their listeners that very diverse influences are musing their sound, and Jornada Del Muerto transforms these muses into gut-punching screamo anthems with sheer explosions.
Jornada Del Muerto is Alican, Görkem, Mutlu, Onur
Recorded at PUR Music Studios Mix and Mastering by Pete Grossman at Bricktop Additional Cello by Öykü Opuz Artwork by Nazan Aydın
Sabbath Video credits Directed by Doğuş Asan & Mutlu Oral Animated by Doğuş Asan Character Design by Eda Dursun Written by Mutlu Oral & Görkem Arslan Edited by Mutlu Oral
Judith and Holofernes Video credits Video by Görkem Arslan & İdil Kocabozdoğan
Co-operative release featuring the following labels: Mevzu Records No Heroes Records Dead Red Queen Records Fresh Outbreak Records Friendly Otter 5 Feet Under Records Dingleberry Records Pumpkin Records Salto Mortale Seitan’s Hell Bike Punks tenzenmen No Funeral Records
Today I’m feeling:
Happy and content. I’m so happy that Amy is back and made our house back into a home again. Everything is clean and tidy! It’s not that I’m terribly messy and dirty but my standard and its importance is lower.
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Jern for fixing up some things in the class attendance system for me. It’s important to have a good connection with some co-teachers because sometimes there are things that need to be done that I can’t do by myself.
The best thing about today was:
Unprompted, Kru David commented positively on my new Monotone trousers today. It’s nice to hear that though I never would expect that about my trousers as they are relatively plain when compared to some of the shirts I wear!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I have a smart kid in one class (Kwang) who suffers from a lack of direction and absent parents. She’s smart enough to avoid working hard and avoid getting in too much trouble.
This week she explained that her phone touchscreen is broken and that she can’t do my work whilst in class but promised that she would do it at home in the evening, which she then didn’t do.
As I have two old spare phones I figured I would donate one to her so she could do my work in class. I struggled to remember to find it this morning but in the end, I picked it up and found the charging cable too.
I waited for the homeroom teacher to appear in the morning and told her of my idea which she thought was a good solution. However, Kwang’s grandparents sent a message that morning that she wouldn’t be in school today!
I left the phone with the homeroom teacher as Kwang will likely show more respect for receiving it from her than from me.
Something I learned today?
Of course, surely, I learned many things today but they all seem relatively minor and inconsequential as I try to summon them here to write.
Name five ways you are quite difficult to deal with?
I still have a childish reaction to being told what to do and how to do things sometimes, even when offered in good faith and it being a better solution than what I’m trying.
I enjoy things that most people don’t and I detest many things that others seem to enjoy. I’ve softened somewhat over the years and can bear small amounts of detestability. In general, this revolves around entertainment such as music and movies mostly.
I’m happy to be by myself and don’t need much interaction to be satisfied. It’s not that I don’t like people, I really do. It’s more that I don’t find a large percentage particularly interesting and I often don’t feel like investing the time to go deep with them. Others though, will appear that immediately interest me. I can wait for them to show up.
I still sometimes struggle with changing tack after I’ve invested time and effort into the direction I’ve been going. Working in Thailand has definitely made me improve myself with this as changes can manifest with little warning.
In the past, I was quite contrarian, in connection with point 1 here. However, I would say that I am not at all outwardly like that these days, though the thoughts are still entertained internally!
I took this picture because this is an accurate reflection of my place in this world. At the walls of my palace sit the beasts and the jungle.
It’s a dirty war where enemies become friends And friends enemies to further their own ends To the victor the spoils, to make up the rules To put out the fires burning on hated fuels
Some will celebrate whilst others may flee An order emerges to which most want to agree Freedom for the ignorant, itself its own cage Repeated ad infinitum on every history page
Better to be oppressed than constantly scared It’s all relative when your life has been spared Safety comes first, freedom a patient wait Rebuilding lives, thankfully able to create
Stop running tired now passed that difficult test Grateful once more, living again, amongst the blessed
Cassette collecting all KLS releases from 2014-2021
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that in my dream last night I tried to protect the people I love – even though I woke up screaming, waking up the people I love!
I was not in the best of moods over the weekend but not terrible. I think I ran out of energy yesterday and just ended up reading and watching TV. Last week, on Monday, I gave George some ground coffee as a gift and to show that I’m OK with him even though he doesn’t interact with me anymore.
Then, on Friday, as I was listening to YouTube and just before writing my entry here, he came into my classroom, which was a bit of a surprise, and I smiled towards him as he approached. He came up to me with the coffee and said, ‘Why did you give me this?’ I said, ‘No reason – just a gift. You drink coffee, don’t you?’ He put it on the table and said, ‘I don’t accept gifts for no reason’, turned around and walked off. I was speechless.
I sat for a while, writing my entry and decided not to mention this and to think about it over the weekend first. This may have also affected my mood a little, but I realise I feel quite resilient to this kind of behaviour! It gets me curious about what makes people act in this way. Suspicion? Pride? Culture? Anyway, I will ignore this stupidity,
I talked a little with Amy and Bruno about it. Amy blames me for even trying to interact with him. Bruno agreed that it was strange behaviour but not so uncharacteristic from what he know of George. We all agreed that we all feel sorry for Bee, who knows what he is like and puts up with it, whatever her reasons.
Anyway, I gave the coffee to Champ this morning, who was really appreciative of it!
The demons are attacking our integrity, the bogeyman is coming, teeth razor sharp.
This week there’s music from The Fall, Viletones, The Butthole Surfers, Frank Zappa, Psyche, Super Adventure Club, My Dad Is Dead, Dwarves, Toots and The Maytals, Moff Skellington, Red Forty, Descendents, Sun City Girls and Lucid Rivers.
Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack. Listen right here or Podbean, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.
They are on to us! We’re being hunted down but nothing’s going to stop it!
Highly curated, carefully selected and specifically ordered* for your listening edification by world-renowned DJtenzenmen, who has over 100 years of experience in this business.
This week there’s music from Peter Black, The Saints, June of 44, Beastie Boys, Kurws, Plam, Satan’s Rats, Madness, Krause, Hard-Ons, Alamaailman Vasarat, Wall of Dwarfs, Motelli Skronkle, HIRS, OMFO, Tako, Septic Death, The 1985, Space Negros and Charming Hostess.
Intro and background music by Utotem, Phantom Tollbooth, Daniel Striped Tiger and someone else I forgot. Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.
Find us on Twitter and Facebook too. Tell us if you like it, tell us if you don’t. Listen right here or Podbean, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.
* ie totally random.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have two days off this week. I feel so lucky to work in a country that has so many public holidays. I am so happy and grateful to Kru Champ for being an understanding teacher and appreciative of my concerns to do the best for the students.
The stupidest rock podcast on the internet as voted by everyone, everywhere.
Highly curated, carefully selected and specifically ordered* for your listening edification by world-renowned DJtenzenmen, who has over 500 years of experience in this business.
* ie totally random.
This week there’s music from The Scapegoat, White Blacula, Funkadelic, The Move, B Team, Hamster Theatre, PFM, P-Model, The Tempos, MFQ, Hot Snakes, Angelic Upstarts, Beatles, Volcano Suns, Born Against, Feed Me Jack, Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Regurgitator, Satanique Samba Trio, Rosalina Mar and Wolves.
ARE YOU READY FOR THE STUPID!?
Find us on Twitter and Facebook too. Tell us if you like it, tell us if you don’t. Listen right here or Mixcloud, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that today will be a quiet day with no kids around. I will miss them though. Almost a month before we see them again!
1994ever 