Tag: heart rate

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #23 – 1st February 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from 65daysofstatic, Stormy Six, The Controllers, Kerosene 454, Jawbreaker, Die! Die! Die!, Death, Minutemen, Beefeater, Red Cross, Necros, Hanadensha, Versus, Au Pairs, The Paper Chase, Blast, Soul Inc.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see my friend Fern again.

Take a good hard look at people’s ruling principle, especially of the wise, what they run away from, and what they seek out.

Marcus Aurelius

Weight: 80.3kg
Resting heart rate: 44

To-do list

  • Record TCRAH/upload. ½
  • Put together card for Kru Noon.
  • Do more drawing practice.
  • Do the Coursera meditation. ✅
  • Enjoy evening with Amy, Aing and Gus.

Well, looking at these five challenges it seems like I didn’t do much yesterday!

I did spend a bit more time reading as I was diving into the book about a girl’s abduction and trying to imagine myself in her position. I wanted to try to write down being there and all the thoughts going through my mind.

Later, I compared it with being a prisoner within your own mind – a place we can never escape.

I sorted out more CDs and feel that that task is getting closer to completion.

By the evening and time to go out, I was feeling very relaxed and happy.

As we were driving to the evening festival Amy got upset because I didn’t drive the way, the direction, she wanted. Her anger got more and more and I felt very embarrassed in front of Aing, Gus and Nu. There was no real need for it and I tried to brush it off as best I could.

Unfortunately, I was only able to do this for a short time until I felt sadness and anger too. I had to go and sit by myself for 5 minutes and calm my mind. I felt better when I returned but by then I was exhausted. Amy had a few beers and was happy though I was worried that she would drink too much and start getting violent with me again.

Things were ok though Amy was getting louder and I just felt like I wanted to be somewhere quiet. The noise of the festival was relentless, from every direction and incoherent. It gave me a headache. I tried to constantly talk myself in a positive headspace but it just got worse as Amy loudly tried to put me down in front of the others again. I couldn’t/didn’t want to have an argument in front of others and Amy knew this and used it to her advantage.

We got home and things had calmed down until Amy came and started on me again. I was tired and cranky by this point and bit back and we went to sleep unhappy with each other. I feel like there is something else behind this behaviour, not just a desire to try and control me.

I’d like to talk with Amy about this but will have to find the right time and try not to just get into another argument.

Something else that has been bothering me is Amy always talking about how all the money is with her and everything is in her name. At first, it was just a bit of fun but I’m not amused anymore. It feels like a fascist hold over me. I’m ok for her to take care of all that stuff but I don’t need reminding of it every week.

Again, I think Amy is not happy these days and doing these actions to compensate. I’d just like to see her happy and positive again – preferably without alcohol.

Don’t you forget about me – 1st January 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Thankfully, I didn’t drink much last night so woke up early and started doing a few things and the day has ended up quite well. A few ideas for more things I’d like to do this year. Slowly, my man cave is getting in order.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to my old friends, who are busy now, as we all are, but haven’t forgotten about me. I won’t forget about them either.

Weight: 80.5kg
Resting heart rate: 47

My friend Rosie, in Sydney, posted on facebook an offer to draw/paint pictures to send to friends and so I picked Jochen (Hinterlandt), Kyaw Kyaw (Rebel Riot) and Lachlan (Art As Catharsis). I can’t recall if I arranged for her to send out the actual pictures too but they all received them digitally around this time. A great philanthropic idea for sure and I was very happy to take Rosie up on her offer.

To-do list

  • Dye hair.
  • Sort more old writing and things in room.
  • Next Thai video and Drops.
  • Find something for teaching KT.
  • Wix forum options.

Did it list

  • Read 3 chapters.
  • Got up early.
  • Dyed my hair.
  • Recorded another TCRAH.
  • Sorted through old writing and letters.
  • Streamlined more online processes.
  • Installed forum options to WIX – looks achievable to do what I wish.
  • Heard some great new music.
  • Posted Rosie’s pictures to Jochen, Lachlan and Kyaw Kyaw.
  • Watched next Thai video and Drops x2.
  • Had long lazy buffet lunch with Amy.
  • Reacted calmly when discussing having to go to Chiang Mai on Sunday.

It was good to get up early and take advantage of the day. I’m glad I didn’t drink too much last night and though I did;t hang out much with everyone celebrating NYE I felt contented reading comics by myself.
I have to go to Chiang Mai next Friday to apply for my new passport and thinking about the best plan for going and coming back.
This afternoon we heard that Ting’s mum had died today and we discussed about going to Chiang Mai for the funeral. We will have to go and come back on Sunday. it’s not optimal but as Ting took the trouble to come to my mum’s funeral, it is the best thing for me to do. Ting has to fly all the way from the UK.

You may not wake up tomorrow.

What did I do well today?
What could I have done better?
– where was my self-control tested?
What will I do tomorrow?
How can I improve?
– what have I learned that will help me tomorrow?
Savour a memory from the past.

You may not sleep again.

Some people seem to be just small hard peas – 1st December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What books have influenced your life?

The first books I remember reading were the Thomas Covenant Chronicles. Big thick fantasy books. For some reason, they resonated more with me than my attempts at the Hobbit or Lord of the Rings.

Later On The Road and Kerouac’s short Alone on a Mountaintop inspired a wonder of wander for me so it was not a difficult decision to make to move to Australia.

Right now I’m reading Anna Karenina whilst learning as much as I can about stoicism. I think the recommendation (to read AK) must have come from Daily Stoic as there is so much stoicism within the writing. This is the first book I’ve really looked at Cliff Notes for too.

He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.

Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be excited for this coming week at school. I really enjoy teaching with the kids and they give me good energy.

Weight: 81.6kg
Resting heart rate: 50

We got that attitude! – 1st November 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to meet my new students today. It’s nerve wracking and compelling. Being around kids is very fulfilling. This morning I had some regret about leaving my last class behind but got excited for meeting all these new ones. They are typically friendly and happy, naught and shy…. I am grateful to the teachers I met who were friendly enough to give me advice.

Weight: 83.2kg
Resting heart rate: 51

The older you get the less you’re worth – 1st October 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Picture was taken a few months later when I went back for a visit.

Yesterday I told my class I was leaving. It was a little emotional – two of the students got teary. It was sad to see – those kids can’t go a whole semester with the same teacher. It did make me realise the impression I can make on students though. I hope I can work in the high school so I will still have the opportunity to see them sometimes. I know I can work in another school ok but I’m also dreading it a little.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Amy for helping me through all the tough situations since we met. Many things I can deal with and help her with but there have been times when she had been so wonderful and supportive. I know she gets frustrated with me sometimes too but at the end of the day, she is always there for me. I love her so much.

Weight: 83.1kg
Resting heart rate: 50

No Mandate – No Mandate/Scheme of Things – 1st December 2018

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Cat #: 196TZM

Mellow dub grooves, heavy desert riffs, and short bursts of angular punk. This is the sound of new Sydney trio No Mandate. Their debut double EP, “No Mandate / Scheme of Things”, will be released as summer breaks – December 1st, 2018, via Tenzenmen Records.

Moving freely across genres and boundaries comes naturally to the three musicians, thanks to their experience in forward-thinking bands such as Hinterlandt, SEIMS, Meniscus, and many more.

The eponymous No Mandate EP constitutes the band’s foundation: instrumental, reggae-tinged rhythms circle themselves and merge with psychedelic fuzz, ultimately culminating in brief explosions of irregular math-rock.

Scheme of Things takes the dub-punk formula a step further. Understated vocals lead the way into increasingly progressive song structures, ending with Manifesto, a 45-second slap in the face of mediocrity that wouldn’t be out of place on an early hardcore seven-inch.

Creating the two EPs was a practice of grassroots egalitarianism: Jochen wrote the music; Alex recorded it in Jochen’s living room; Simeon created the artwork, and recorded additional overdubs at his home under the supervision of Harry the cat.

Weight: 84.5kg
Resting heart rate: 58