Tag: hospital

Here You Go Again – 23rd July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

So many tombstones for the hydra-headed
The many heads must be better than one
The hallucinations are so deeply embedded
This anarchy and madness has just begun

A choice of two to become King Wizard
Let’s fantasise that all men are born equal
A legacy of dunces believes that a lizard
Was born to be the hero of this sequel

Submitted to RDP Friday – fantasise, Reena’s Xploration Challenge #339 – hydra-headed, Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – madness, Sammi Scribbles Weekend Writing Prompt #373 – anarchy, FOWC with Fandango – tombstone, Word of the Day Challenge – wizard, RDP Sunday – hallucination and inspired by the nonsense of US politics.

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy and tired. I set my alarm for 7 am though woke up before that but slept another hour after turning the alarm off.

As I was brushing my teeth, I wondered why I had stayed up past midnight reading last night. My eyes are aching and having trouble focusing.

I have to get myself going and hopefully these two coffees will do the trick.

Today I’m grateful for:

Struggling through today (see below) and forcing myself out on my bike, to ride all the back roads to Makro to get the last two tubs of yoghurt.  Sold out in two days!  Why don’t they order more?

The best thing about today was:

Getting little bits of everything done.  It doesn’t feel like a productive day, not that they all have to be, but there’s nothing that stands out either.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

By the time of visiting the hospital and seeing the doctor (after an hour of waiting) I was starting to feel a little down.  With the long wait it meant missing my afternoon class too.

I messaged Kru Tang to see if she could fix how to put leave into the system.  She couldn’t help fix it but also said that I should assign work to the students to do in the class time.  I argued that if I have to take leave then I’m not going to assign work that I have to follow up on.  I might as well be there.

I told her I would ask the class to use the opportunity to catch up on other class work and she seemed ok with that.  But still it added to me feeling a bit grumpy and down.

Thankfully, the trip on the motorbike had a positive effect on my mood.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

After getting back from Makro at around 6pm I went over to Baipad’s, taking a syringe and a food stick, to see if she could feed Snow with it.  When I got there, though, Baipad looked totally dejected and became teary.

I asked to see Snow and we went upstairs to where she was.  She looked back to the state that she was in on Sunday, unfortunately and I didn’t see much hope.  Baipad was sobbing by this time.

I hate seeing cats suffer, any animals.  I squeezed a little water into her mouth and rubbed her throat.  She gave a little squeak of recognition but soon dropped her head back down.  I told Baipad to give her a little water every hour or so and give her love and strokes.

Then I came home and fed our two precious boys.

Around 8pm Baipad messaged me that Snow had passed.

I took this picture because this little fella decided to join me on my ride back from Utopia this morning. It has a clear shell that looks like plastic. I’ve never seen anything like it before.

Shine The Light – 11th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

These are ghosts
White
With bloodied teeth
Dead
Inside the cold room
Shiver and sweat, feel along the walls
Water
Drip……drip…..dripping in tears
Into a puddle
Of blood muck
Sticky in the dark
Fear and fumble for the exit
A midnight moon, it’s way past bedtime
Shine the light back to safety

Written on a day when I was teaching (and learning) about Thai ghosts.
The form is a Paiku. The Piaku form takes part of its name from the fact that the syllable count for each line matches the digits in Pi.
Pi:  3.14159 26535 897
Inspired by this Paiku at Moonwashed Musings and the first line is a variation on the Karate song ‘There Are Ghosts’

Today I’m feeling:

Tired on waking, so I snoozed for an extra 30 minutes, skipping exercise. 

I was sitting at House from 8am until 3.30pm. Before lunch I got a bit of reading and writing done and after lunch I finished off a couple of lesson plans and was feeling inspired to do more but had to go and pick up Amy to take her to the hospital as she will stay overnight with her dad as he is due to have his operation this evening.

Today I’m grateful for:

My usual Jetyod dispensary that had brownies and gummies in stock. I’m hoping to sleep well tonight but hope I still feel ok in the morning too.

Sometimes I still feel sleepy in the morning after eating this.

The best thing about today was:

Really getting into the flow whilst working at House today. Time pretty much flew by and I was enjoying every second of it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After sitting for a little while at the cafe I noticed a dull ache in my left hip joint which has gotten steadily worse throughout the day and causing me to limp a little. It is very tender to touch. 

I’m assuming I must’ve overdone it with the exercising earlier this week.

I hope it doesn’t disturb my sleep and I definitely won’t be doing any exercise on it in the morning.

Something I learned today?

My students at the competition all messaged me to tell me that they had done well, coming 2nd or 3rd place, which they were all quite proud of.  I’m still waiting to find out about others too.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

After I got back from the city I took some cookies to Baipad and her sister and mum. It was already getting a little dark so she wasn’t keen to practice riding the bike so I managed to twist her arm to get in her mum’s car and we just went through everything in front of her, without going anywhere.

I told her I should be free tomorrow afternoon and if it works out, we can practice driving. She threw her arms up in a semi-mocking fright but also a happy resignation that if I push her to do it, then she doesn’t have a choice.

Faux Concern – 19th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Who determines the state of us turtles?
Is it those that pump poison into my home?
As if there is not enough for us to deal with
Better you didn’t exist and left us all alone

Submitted to Monday Poetry Prompt – determine, state, turtle

Today I’m feeling:

A little better.  I started to feel almost ok after eating some dinner last night. I wasn’t really hungry but ate anyway and glad that I did.  I struggled with sleep again last night but don’t feel too tired yet; I know that I really need to push through today and not take a nap so that I can enjoy a good sleep tonight.  Right now – 8 am – I feel like I have the start of a cold or flu again, much like I did last week.  So despite feeling better than I did on Saturday, I’m still on the edge.

Today I’m grateful for:

The hospital being close by and able to see Amy for whatever allergy is bothering her skin at 9 pm. Hopefully, it’s nothing serious but best for her to get checked as she has had attacks from allergies before.

The best thing about today was:

Playing lots of guitar although much of it was frustrating as I haven’t played much this week and I can notice the struggle I am having to get my coordination working again.

Something I learned today?

I learned what a cherita is in poetry. I will give this a go sometime.  I’m currently thinking about a cascading poem using a nomeansno lyric as a starting point.

Cherita (pronounced CHAIR-rita) is a linked poetry form of one-, two- and three-line stanzas.

Cherita is the Malay word for “story” or “tale”.

A cherita consists of a one-line stanza, followed by a two-line stanza, and then finishing with a three-line stanza.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I talked a little bit with my student Earn again and gave her some more encouragement as she figures out who she is and where she is going in her life.  As usual, it’s wonderful to watch these kids grow and mature.

How do I practice self-care on a busy day?

My days are mostly made busy by self-care!  Over the last few years, I have been bringing self-care to the forefront of my mind and I no longer mean this in a selfish way (as I might have done in the past).

My days are generally not that busy so the remaining time is taken up with self-care in the form of reading, writing, relaxation and thinking.  On a busy day, the actions are the same.  Each space must be filled with thought that ensures care for one’s self (along with everyone around).

I took this picture because the school cat Garfield was waiting for cuddles and rubs this morning.

Cuppa Freedom – 29th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t tell the Yanks that they’re not free
That’s when they start killing you and me
What a different world we might be living in
If we had chatted over a nice cup of tea!

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. I’ve called in sick to work so that I can go to the hospital to get my medicine this morning so I’m enjoying some Utopian coffees first.

Today I’m grateful for:

A quick stroll through the local walking street market with Amy to get some dinner.  I picked up some of my favourite salad that I always bought when Amy wasn’t here and I haven’t had it again in the three months since she’s back.

The best thing about today was:

Getting in to see the doctor without an appointment and whilst waiting I needed to go to the bathroom and by the time I got back it was my turn to see him.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At one point I was watching something on TV and Amy decided to start calling people on her phone. It was impossible for me to hear whilst she was chatting away. Never mind – guitar time! I headed off to my room to play.

Something I learned today?

My old student August (she who used to love dancing) told me of her interest in playing guitar last year. Today she sent me a video of her and a couple of guitar classmates performing (singing too!) outside Central Plaza. I was quite surprised and also jealous!

I wish I was young and unafraid like her. Learning something is easier when you are young and getting up in front of people isn’t so nerve-racking unless you are really shy.

Of course, I did that too when I was young. I guess I just want to be young!

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 8. Don’t Care About What People Think. We all die in the end, do you really think it matters what people think of you?

Kinda connected to what I wrote above, in many ways I’ve never cared what people thought of me unless I knew I was doing something wrong.  When I reached about 16 or 17, something changed in that I lost a lot of self-confidence, though still sometimes ran on bravado, which never served me well.  And from there it was an ever-decreasing circle.  Somewhere along the way and slowly but surely I got some confidence back, especially when I started doing music-related things in Australia.

I’m reminded of one occasion when I was at the front of the crowd at Frequency Lab videoing Limited Express (has gone?)’s set.  As there was no space between the audience and the band and only a one-step stage it meant being in the way of things a little. 

Later, Dave Harris asked me about being there and I said ‘I didn’t care’ to which he was rather taken aback but I clarified that I meant that I didn’t care if I got pushed and shoved out of the way by the raging mosh pit around us all.  Of course, most people will take care not to smash into people filming or taking photos and I would too, to a certain extent but ultimately if I had missed some shots or worse still, something got smashed then I would have had only myself to blame. 

If people are not happy about something then they can say something.

This reminds me of another occasion when I was at the Big Day Out one time and a girl in a bikini top was on the shoulders of her boyfriend. This annoyed a few boys who were standing behind them but instead of moving somewhere else, where there was still plenty of room they thought it would be a good idea to pull on the strings of the bikini top to try and undo and embarrass the girl.  On their second attempt, I stepped in and told them to move if they weren’t happy and they soon got the message.

Anyway, back to not caring what people think.  Most of us will reach an age where this will just naturally happen and we’ll no longer much care.  We get settled in our ways and remain the way we are.  Some of us (myself included) will remain firm and polite in most situations whilst others will be curmudgeonly and unbending.  I guess that depends on one’s character.

If I’m completely honest, there will still be some occasions when I will care what certain people think about me.

I took this picture because if you squint at these leaves they look like they have tiny lights at their centres.

Utopia Around The Corner – 10th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We should be living in a paradise by now
Yet wrapped in realities that ground our flight
Utopia hides, beyond the hillside brow
Amidst the chaos, in a darkened night

Around the corner, this dream quietly shines
A realm where peace sings a hopeful tune
Utopia beckons and yet this hope reminds
The journey will not be completed soon

In that elusive place, worries disband,
A sanctuary where souls find their rest,
Utopia calls from its promised land,
An oasis waiting, only found in death

Today I’m feeling:

Not too bad considering I woke up wanting to sleep more.  The abs exercises hurt as I was doing them and I can feel all the work that the muscles around the rest of my body had to do because my abs are still weak.  I’m now pretty convinced that my weak abs and connections to the hips are the cause of most of my body stress/weakness, down to my calves and up to my neck.  Slowly slowly.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Downy fabric spray that is trying to counter the smell of cat spray on the sofa and isn’t quite succeeding.

The best thing about today was:

My grade 10 class who were interested in learning, in the topic and discussing it as best as they could in English but mostly in Thai.  Having a keen, attentive class is a joy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday I got a message that today was a meeting for the foreign teachers to meet with the director but I sent a message to Kru Tang saying that I had class at that time and she was fine with that.

Later I got an assuming message from Nancy saying that it was a bit sad that I didn’t go and that I felt differently to the team!  FFS!

I told her that I had planned my lessons and that this one was quite important for my students this time and that if it was a different class then it might have been possible.  There was no reply after that.

That has upset me a little but I’m happy knowing that I’m doing the right thing for my students.

Something I learned today?

Today is Nomsen’s birthday.  Every day seems to be someone’s birthday.  Nomsen told me that she turns 14 but I’m not sure if she was counting correctly as another student in the grade above told me it was her 14th birthday today.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I comforted little Nicha who got reprimanded yesterday for having earphones in during class yesterday.  Instead of just being asked to take them out the teacher made a big deal of it and if she gets in any more trouble they’ll kick her out of school.  That seems a bit harsh considering what some of the other kids get up to.  Understandably she was a bit down.

I started my lessons on relationships for the grade 10s as Toon in that class requested it.  I made them Thai translations so that they could understand better the meaning behind the content.  In this case, I found that I wanted their understanding more than just using English.  Toon said she was happy with the lesson, so I’m glad about that too.

Tonaor reminded me that yesterday I told her I would give her a candy today. She caught me just as I was about to leave and I honoured my word, went to the car to get another candy and gave it to her. She was happy.

I took this picture because, for some reason as I approached the hospital to get some medicine, I was impressed by its stature. I’ve been here many times and not thought much about how it looks. Perhaps it was because it was approaching golden hour and the air turns a special colour.

Little Shi – 9th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Little Shi was making his own plans
Putting his destiny in his own hands
From the fields to the city streets
Amongst the learned he competes

In the trees, he’d monkey around
Exploring the minutiae of life he found
Every little step that he was taking
Expanded the world he was making

And while those around studied well
They learned little that he could tell
He found a different meaning to success
Found his own way to progress

The things his father had been denied
Would not stop this little dragon’s rise
As the littlest kid he stood above
Remaining humble and sharing love

Until to the mountain, he climbed alone
All the horizons became his home

Inspired by a true story in Zachary Mexico’s China Underground
16th Nov 2024 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and positive though starting to flake a little now it’s lunchtime.  My first class was a little chaotic and frustrating but hopefully the afternoon classes will be more uplifting.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having a bag of candy again that I can gift to random students when I feel like it.  Am I the Candyman?  A little bribery goes a long way.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to control myself when pushed to the edge of my patience several times. 

It helps that I like the kids so much and they make me laugh a lot but sometimes I wish I was just teaching the more mature students.  Sometimes I feel embarrassed for myself, wondering what other teachers might think if they came into the classroom when children are noisy and not paying attention.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I wanted to go to the hospital on the way back home but the traffic was busy and getting out of the hospital with a car now is a pain in the ass since the U-turn has been closed off because everyone was using it to skip the traffic lights.  I was too tired to bother coming back out on the motorbike so will try again tomorrow when I can leave school a little earlier and hopefully, there’s a little less traffic.

Something I learned today?

Jerry Lewis made a controversial film called The Day The Clown Cried in 1972 and it was never released and has been hidden away ever since. 

A couple of years before he died he agreed that it could be released but only after he and those that were critical of the ideas in the movie had probably died too.  So then it was decided to be released in June 2024.  The movie’s story sounds interesting and thought-provoking.  I wonder what it will be like.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As my grade 8 students were reading the text I gave them I let them try to pronounce the difficult words and gave them positive feedback when they got them right.

I followed up with Paen that she was feeling ok as I didn’t see her on Friday and she didn’t reply to my messages since then.  She said she was sick but I’m not sure if something happened with Praew that has upset her.

I was going to punish Program for being late to class without communicating with me but I decided to show him that that was my intention, but this time I will not punish him though he must remember to let me know why he is going to be late. 

Remember that this is the kid who ended up sitting in my class before doing nothing because he had picked up another student’s bag and lost his own…. I have since noticed that despite his clownish behaviour he is pretty good at English.

Tonaor randomly messaged me for advice about a logo design for her online store, which is the first I’d heard of it but I’m not too surprised. 

Kids of 13 or 14 are getting smart about making money using the internet these days.  I was happily surprised that she asked me for advice though.

This was not in my class but I took this picture as an example of a typical classroom lesson environment. To be fair, everyone had finished their work but there was no sitting quietly reading a book until the bell goes. These are my old grade 7 and 8 students, now in grade 9. There’s Phoom, Chok, Jackie and… fuck, I’ve forgotten the other boy’s name though I can picture his face quite clearly.

Noticing The Nuance – 13th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Humbled and heartbroken
Fallen to a knee
Eyes wide open
How could they not be?

Shocked into submission
Suddenly set free
No longer distracted
And starting to see

Hours once dedicated
To you from me
Were blinders to the bronco
From forest to tree

Stars return to brightness
From a distant memory
Noticing the nuance
Analysed by degree

The chaos of our lives
I’m sure we all agree
Turn our attentions
Into nothing but debris

16th May 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Humility

Today I’m feeling:

Run down and sick. I slept through most of yesterday and last night and feel like sleeping more. My sore throat has transformed to a sexy voice as my nose starts running causing me to cough and hack up phlegm. To top it all, I forced myself to eat this morning and more of my busted booth came loose. Really have to get back to the dentist soon. Needless to say, I’m not at school. I should go to the hospital but not looking forward to sitting around for a couple of hours just to get prescribed medicine I can get at the pharmacy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The staff at the hospital that made everything relatively smooth and pain-free. Just a bit of waiting around. A bunch of meds were prescribed all for 200 baht, about 8 Aussie bucks. I don’t not know how much the meds had to do with it but I started feeling a little better after getting back from the hospital.

The best thing about today was:

Still working a little with my students in the afternoon while waiting at the hospital. The work I give to my grade 8s is simple and repetitive just with a different text each week so I don’t actually need to even be there with them. Still, about ten students skipped doing anything, which is a shame.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I went out to Utopia and grabbed coffee but the bike wouldn’t start after and I had to wheel it down the road in the scorching heat, adding to my already-addled brain. After the guy in the shop got it running again I decided just to buy some medicine and go home and rest. Amy came back an hour or so later and berated me for not going to the hospital so here I am, already told it’s at least a one-hour wait. I’m handling it by sniffing, coughing and wondering if I’ll even be well enough to go to school tomorrow.

Something I learned today?

Thailand is introducing a Clean Air Act but has no real solutions to stop the yearly burning by farmers. Just ideas and suggestions. There is support online behind a 28-year-old doctor who is about to die from lung cancer but I can’t imagine anyone in government is going to do anything seriously to stop this annual event that is due to be worse and for longer this year.

What new hobby would I like to try?

It’s not new I guess but I really need to get on and make some music with the equipment I have. The problem is that I would have to drop some of the other things that I already like doing with my time.

No new pictures today so this is from last week. Kam, Amy and Praewa tiktokking for me.

Flaming Sword – 2nd October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

She didn’t ask to join this club
The grief is so big, even shared
Suffering in silence, or out loud
It’s a struggle that no one is spared

And when a life is taken away
Leaving the living seems so unkind
To wonder, in search of meaning
When tragedy is all she can find

How to lay open the world to truth?
Will her fierce soul light the flame?
A sword to strike out resilient
And to change the world yet again

inspired by The Red Hand Files #254
3rd Jul 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. I persevered with morning exercise despite this being a week with no classes and I could easily have decided to have a break. But I pushed through. It was weird to be at school again with no students around. It’s amazing to think that these thousands of kids are all out there somewhere doing things and during the term they all gather together in this one place.

Today I’m grateful for:

The folks at MFU hospital today. I had to go and get more medicine and have waited four months beyond my scheduled appointment because the timing has not been good with me having to be at school when the doctor is there.
Somehow I managed to breeze straight in despite a roomful of patients(presumably they were waiting for other doctors). Then I decided I was waiting too long to pick up the medicine so went off to Daytripper to get some lesson planning done and on return to hospital I was able to breeze in again, collect my meds and go. Easy.

The best thing about today was:

Getting into the swing of lesson planning again. I only did one today but can feel more brewing! I just need to focus.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Totally ran out of energy around 7 pm, perhaps enhanced by a drop too much cannabutter. Sleeping early tonight…

Something I learned today?

Matt sent me a cool video of a band called Hariguem Zaboy. The song had some great off-kilter post-punk guitar and a bouncy rhythm that reminded me of some Japanese bands.

What is my favourite thing about this month?

October? The only regular thing about this month is my birthday which doesn’t carry much significance for me anymore.

This is holiday time in Thailand which is nice but last year we had a 4-week break and this time apparently it’s just 5 days (though I’ll be taking longer with my trip to Australia). Planning things here can be difficult and it sort of contributes to the chill chill attitude and just going with the flow. In some ways, it’s a child-like approach to life which can be exciting but I’ve long grown out of it so sometimes it grates.

October is also the end of the rainy season and the cool of winter approaching is a great relief.

Like A Good Indie Kid – 25th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I wonder what the nineties were like
Listening to Radiohead, Oasis and Blur
Before technologies stole all the time away
And endless scrolling would not occur

I wonder what the eighties were like
When heavy metal was at its height
Emo was still scribbles in teenage diaries
And grunge was preparing to take flight

I wonder what the seventies were like
With spiky hair fighting patchouli oils
A changing of the guard was in motion
And knives were out for the spoils

The turning of Kerouac, Tolstoy or Woolf
Found good indie kids expanding their minds
Without the shots of adrenaline
This type of adventure usually finds

So today, in all the libraries sat
Good indie kids write their poetry and prose
Listening to the music of their forebears
Searching for the truth and where it goes

Inspired by a phrase in this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Better than expected. Yesterday my energy kept increasing after the slow stumbling start and I didn’t feel like a nap and was expecting to be tired at bedtime but instead still felt awake and enjoyed watching TV and reading. Before midnight I turned out the light but struggled to slow my mind down before finally falling asleep for what must have been less than six hours rest, and even then waking up a little before my alarm went off. I talked myself into exercise, something which is becoming easier each day (each working day at least) and still appreciative and inspired by the slowly changing form I see in the mirror.

Today I’m grateful for:

Meeting Fah and Gafile who are my old students and in grade 10 now. They told me they were worried about an English exam that they had today. As I was doing my own Thai language study tonight I remembered about their exams and sent them a message to see how they did. They didn’t do so well so they know that they need to improve. I’m grateful that they are still always happy to see me and despite struggling in my classes too, they wish that I was still teaching them.

The best thing about today was:

Seeing Amy’s dad looking good after his operation. He was in pain but was fairly cheerful and already able to walk himself to the bathroom. His doctor is hoping that from what they saw during the operation that he won’t need any chemo. He should know by Friday.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My one class today were in a playful mood and I let them loose a little, though still asking them to answer a few questions which made them think. I plan to ask them the same questions in each class this week and hope to see some improvement in their thinking during that time. But I’m also not taking it too seriously either.

Something I learned today?

Through asking my students what they learned today they told me that in their science class, they learned about India sending a spacecraft to the moon. Chandrayaan-3 was the first successful landing at the lunar south pole.

I like that students learned about this and maybe don’t know so much about previous achievements by the USA and USSR. It reminds me that the stories children are presented with deeply affect their thoughts about the world.

What is within my control right now?

Whether I should let Cap in the door or not. Whether I should turn the aircon down and go to the kitchen to get a soda water. When I eat and what time I go to bed. Whether I play guitar or watch TV or both. To decide if I have written enough here. Whether I’m tired and happy or tired and grumpy.

Many day-to-day minor events are within my control. Almost anything else is outside my control.

I took this picture because whilst visiting Amy’s dad in the hospital I took advantage of being in one of the tallest buildings in the city. Chiang Rai hasn’t gotten to the point of skyscrapers everywhere and I’m not sure it ever will. I was on the sixth (out of seven) floor and I seem to remember one of the hotels having ten floors but apart from those I don’t think there are any other buildings above four floors in the city.

We Are The Hedons – 22nd September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Goodbye temperance, born in America
Though you’ll never see its shores again
Your virtue was traded for a case of beer
But I’ll never forget it
Falling over rotten fruits
Stumbling and staring like zombies
Yielding to hordes of defiant
Adrift from a safe port

We are the addled, the overfed
Eyes wide at the pornography on show
We are the sexed, we ritualised
Our own descent into vice
We are the Hedons
Second-rate human beings
Grab your beers and a handful of pills
The Hedons have won again!

The theme inspired by a post from the Stoa Letter and words adapted and morphed from The Van Pelt’s ‘We Are The Heathens’

20th Sep 2024 – Submitted to the Word of the Day Challenge – answer

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and also feeling like my energy is depleting quickly. At least Fridays are relatively easy days for me. Annoyingly I woke up about an hour before my alarm with my brain already active and my alarm went off just as I got back to sleep. I got up with a ‘fuuuuck’. The morning sun is enjoyable though, although without the shade over the playground at school, all the short kids want to stand in my shadow.

Today I’m grateful for:

The doctors and nurses who took care of Amy’s dad in hospital and in the operating theatre. The good news is that as far as they could tell the cancer hadn’t spread beyond the bowel so hopefully after recovery, maybe he’s good to go again.

The best thing about today was:

Another successful spelling test with my grade 7s. After the better students finished and left I really enjoyed helping the stragglers to figure out the words using mime and drawing, just trying to lead them in the direction of the answers. It was interesting to see how some students used their phones to help themselves. They also motivated themselves to improve their scores with second and third attempts. It feels like the culmination of the semester’s work has come together pretty well.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As I went to leave House this afternoon a truck was blocking me in. There is a building being constructed next door and the workers there asked me to pull forward so the truck could get in. I assumed that they just wanted to quickly unload something and wouldn’t take long. They obviously didn’t understand that I wanted to leave but finally came to clarify when I was still sitting in my car with the engine running. I wasn’t upset or rude to them and they quickly let me out. A minor frustration, surely for both of us, but no need to get wound up.

Something I learned today?

I discovered that the new iOS has added a State of Mind log to the Health app. Now I want to figure out the shortcut to take me straight to it.

What do I want to remember about this time of my life?

As I’ve been fairly fastidiously writing this time of my life down here I’m hoping to remember a lot. Also to be able to review the gradual changes and see the challenges I have overcome.

Looking back at my old diaries has shown how little of what I wrote was meaningful and only serves as tiny memory joggers. Most of it is ‘got up, went here, went there, went home, went to sleep’! Even when I wrote that I was pissed off I couldn’t really articulate why.

Even though my life is a lot less exciting now I’m hoping to get down to more of the detail.

What I want to remember is how I turned myself around to feeling good and healthier and I don’t see any reason that that can’t be maintained. I suppose if I’ve forgotten things from 35 years ago then, if I make it to 90 I may forget the things I’m doing now.

I took this picture a couple of days ago because I didn’t take any new pictures today.