No longer trapped under the weight of the memories
A hand raised to the sky, victorious and defiant
Understanding the fall, seekers of the truth
Now standing tall and becoming self-reliant
The dirt in the mind gave birth to the seeds
That grew everything to satisfy these needs

---

Today I’m feeling:

A little lethargic and somewhat bewildered that finally, the time has come to get on a plane again. Last night’s mala dinner is twisting my guts up and I’m hoping they settle down soon as I’m worried a coffee will be the instant trigger for action that I don’t need.

Today I’m grateful for:

The 49 baht 7-11 fried fish in lemongrass microwave meal that served as lunch and dinner. It was super tasty and not too filling.

The best thing about today was:

Due to the nature of the day, there has not been a lot going on. I did some online reading, some YouTube watching, my usual two coffee morning, a nap (nondescript but pleasurable), and checking and double checking my things, with a constant feeling of having forgotten something.

One thing making me laugh right now is a girl sitting opposite me, late teen or early twenties but her legs don’t reach the ground and she’s shaking her legs back and forth like a child might. When was the last time I felt like dangling legs or skipping just for the fun of skipping?

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

With travelling in the evening I often don’t enjoy the day as I just have an anxious feeling of anticipation. It’s always in the back of my mind that it’s very important that I’m in a certain place at a certain time.

(evening) I must remember never to get coffee at Black Canyon. It reminds me of several coffees I threw away in England. With modern technology, it should not be possible to make a beverage that tastes so bad.

Something I learned today?

 I was surprised when Nong Aing saw my open bag and said ‘Is that all I’m taking?’ 3/4 of the bag is souvenirs, and the rest are my clothes. I figure it’s enough but… Obviously, I don’t pack like a girl but now I’m worried. The idea is to have space to bring back more of Amy’s things. The bag only weighed 15kg in the end and my carry-on is just a jacket and a book.

When was the last time I trusted my intuition?

I seem to have pretty good intuition about my students and can pick up when something is not right. Often they can’t tell me though because their English level is not high enough. They also seem to have good intuition about me and if they can express themselves they are happy to come to me for advice.

I guess I had to trust my intuition that I would be okay here in Thailand, both when we came together and then to stay by myself whilst Amy went back to enjoy Australia some more.

What is my intuition telling me now?  I’m hoping but not hopeful that Amy can find some happiness here in Thailand and if she can’t that she will go back and forth between here and wherever she wants to explore. My intuition tells me that I will be okay with whatever comes next.