The image shows the girls of Shajareh Tayyebeh Elementary School in Minab on February 25th, who were all killed in an attack attributed to the United States and Israel.
Speaking a second language hearing only the first.
Opposite things can be true as enemy flags flow in harmonic waves.
Rhetoric raises ghosts outside of reality’s window. Feverish certainty knows no consequence.
Outside is only more noise in solidarity with itself.
But here, real, live, breathing… ‘symbols’!
Fantasy politics, safely in faraway fields, grain-fed on grief no one has to harvest.
Take these children, lay them neatly on the altar of an unnamed dawn.
Call it tomorrow.
Today’s Daily Stoic poem:
Don’t Tell Yourself Stories
Are the tales we tell about ourselves really true? Was everything so certain and so real? Don’t create a fantasy around everything you do When for others it holds no appeal.
Solidified as a clogged pipe, with a hunger never sated; stubborn, with a fistful of lies, illegal to be debated; The wrong colour or wrong type, in murder, congratulated; to blacken perfectly clear skies far from where you are located;
Populations submit to hype or kept pleasantly sedated; it’s them or us, all broken ties, arguing until frustrated; So the timing has become ripe, in the fervour you’ve created; it really comes as no surprise that you’ve become the most hated.
I neither cared for you one way or the other, your virtues and character were unknown; Ambivalently sympathetic to your suffering after all the horrible things I’d been shown;
But slowly you were revealed by yourself to be equally similar devils in disguise; Impossible to be unaware of the irony of your actions and repeated ridiculous lies;
And if you were not hated before this you are now surely bound to be; To inflict a holocaust for any reason removes all goodwill and previous sympathy;
There are those who still sit complicit in their silence, they are justifying; As if their own fingers pulled the trigger and, not so quietly, cause all those dying;
What goes around will again come around, this is the beginning of your own demise; With no moral high ground to stand upon there’ll be no one left to sympathise.
I got myself up and running at 6.10 having already woken up a little earlier yet again!
Last night I made a little mistake as we received a message from school with our new timetables and I had a look at mine and was a little frustrated.
Firstly, I have been given 25 hours again, whilst David got 22 and George only 20! Then I noticed that I have two seven-hour days on Monday and Friday! Finally, I have been given 4 separate one-hour classes throughout the week, which annoys me as my planning is usually for 2-hour lessons. With only one hour, it will usually only end up with about 30 minutes teaching time at most.
Funnily enough, one of my students Jee, messaged me saying that she was disappointed that I would only teach her for two hours a week again and I mentioned that I was frustrated too, for the reasons above. She replied, ‘That’s not fair!’ But I said to her, ‘Yeah, but it will likely change anyway,’ and considered that things are not set in stone just yet.
Unfortunately, it couldn’t stop my brain working overtime for a while as I was trying to sleep and I was playing out scenarios about what to do and say.
By morning, though, I had let it all go and just figured to get on with things and accept them. For now, at least.
After a long, happy, hot day, I was starting to feel flaky as I was driving home. I could easily have slept until tomorrow even though it was only 2.30 pm, but I knew that wasn’t going to be possible.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Baitoey, an old student of mine who I will teach again this semester, who helped me get things sorted to create a new LINE group for her class. This class has 48 students and is certainly going to be a challenge to keep them all engaged.
Kru Ning also helped me out, as she is the homeroom teacher for them, too. It’s good to have a reasonably competent ally when dealing with a big class like this.
The best thing about today was:
Catching up with all the students again. I got so wrapped up in talking with them that I didn’t even make it to my first coffee until after 10 am!
They all seemed happy to be back at school again and to see their friends. I was certainly happy as kids came to talk and play all throughout the day.
Kwang also turned up to see her friends before she switched schools. I gave her a hug and told her that I would miss her. She said ‘how much’ and I told her, just a little bit.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy told me in the morning that Nong Oh’s mum passed away today and that she wants to go and help at the temple today and tomorrow. This means there’s little chance of rest for me before we do the three-hour drive to Chiang Mai on Saturday morning.
Our third funeral this month. What can we do? I am grateful to still be alive and healthy to have these problems.
Something I learned today?
I found out that sports day is at the end of November, for a couple of days and for most of the month leading up to it, we will have 50-minute periods instead of our usual one hour.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Driving Amy and Baew to the temple after school this evening. There’s not much that I can do to help here, so I was quite relieved when Amy suggested I bring a book.
I took this picture because we are not the only ones making a home here.
Roll up, roll up, it’s the next celebrity President In our broken project, our failed experiment Cutting off our faces to spite our noses Now, we no longer smell of roses
Dear Uncle Slaughter is playing American Roulette Seeing how much blood from oil he can get Those colour revolutions are all black and white And they’re coming home, ready to fight
Without the destroyer, there are no destroyed Our freedom and democracy never employed Long decades of lies, living The Big Instead Until every last inch has been bled
Roll up, roll up, let every lawyer in If it’s all a game someone has to win Roll up, roll up, it’s your time to choose Between the little and nothing you’ve let to lose
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good despite going to bed last night with a sore throat. Thankfully, it seems to be gone today.
I ran around to go to the hospital in the morning and then back at 1pm for the actual appointment, and everything went smoothly and I was feeling good. I decided that I feel good enough to try to cut down on the sertraline and even wonder if I can get off it completely.
I dropped in on Baipad as she was complaining about having to go to her grandparents’ village again, which she hates doing. I told her that she needs to start planning things for herself in the holidays but that will need her to figure out a lot of things first and I think it’s a responsibility that she isn’t comfortable with yet.
When I got home, I started reading and then felt sleepy and my eyes were hurting. I’m pretty sure my eyes are hurting because of my glasses and going to start trying to save money for myself to buy a new pair sometime.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
The gardeners, finally cutting up the tree that they killed a couple of years ago and fell down about four or five months back.
The best thing about today was:
Reading some more David Foster Wallace in the waiting rooms at both hospitals today. Also, not watching any video or TV so far (7 pm). I think I can easily cut that right down and enjoy reading much more, or getting more regular guitar practice in.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After getting sleepy in the afternoon, I napped for an hour and a half and felt pretty dismal on waking up again. I tried to motivate myself with a cold shower, which helped for a while, but my eyes started aching again as I drove to the city for my ENT appointment (which ended up being more of the same – medicine, at least for now).
Here’s an example of…. what is it?
At the second hospital visit, there is a place to check in and get your queue number. The place for my appointment, though, is another building, perhaps less than 30 seconds’ walk away. Instead of walking though, there is a golf cart that drops patients off at the building.
As I was late today, I asked if it was ok to walk over but was told ‘please wait a moment’ and sat back down. A moment later and there’s a tap on my shoulder, it’s the driver. I head towards the buggy where there is one other woman already sitting.
We head off and notice that we’re not going straight to the building but into the car park area and we are dropping off the woman at her car. In a straight line, it was less than ten metres from where she was originally waiting!
As the car park is all one way, it means that we have to go all the way around again to get to my building, where I could have been much sooner if I’d walked!
Something I learned today?
Israel has killed a classroom full of children every day for a year. 😢
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I asked Baipad if she still wanted to talk with a psychiatrist but she says she feels better mentally recently. She did say that she would still like to get her general health checked, though.
We can’t take them back Their cries already ignored Boats delivered murder By guns, disease and sword Ever pushing forward In search of more reward Broken promises betrayed The trust in your accord
Beat down any rebellion By sowing the seeds of discord Masters of death and starvation Even beyond the Golden Horde All done with Bible in hand And in the name of your Lord Better this place was left alone In peace and unexplored
Positive and lively. A little bit naturally but also a little bit forced, as I knew that I would be sitting in a meeting room fairly bored for most of the day as we ‘study’ AI use.
It’s lunchtime now and indeed the meeting so far is boring and dull but I’m investigating other things related to AI whilst all the talk is in Thai and then taking part in the activities as and when required.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy bringing me back some weed gummies from Bangkok. She tried them with Fern and Pim there and was surprised that they didn’t make her feel sleepy but more lively instead. I might try one on the weekend and see how it is.
The best thing about today was:
It being an even and steady day. No highlights and no lowlights, just calm and relaxed whilst doing whatever needed to be done.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m sure my time would have been better spent doing other things during the day but as we had to be at this meeting, I chose to enjoy the time.
Amy’s flight was delayed too, which meant staying at school until it was due and then when I arrived at the airport, it was delayed even more! I’m sitting, waiting for her now.
Something I learned today?
There’s a big hurricane heading for Florida that is forecast to do a lot of damage. This is going to happen before they’ve finished fixing things up after the last one.
And still the US government gives more money to Israel and, ironically, to Lebanon, which Israel is currently bombing with US bombs!
Now settled in for the greatest joyful genocide Where evil is no longer ashamed to hide Death and mutilation a spectacle cheered No prayers answered or conscience cleared
A playground of rubble where the children lay slain Brothers mop up the body parts that remain Rag-dolled and ruined by murderous intent Fires fanned by despair of the innocent
A holy hand grenade signed and sent with a laugh Floating ashes never find peace on this path This fertile ground may never satisfy the beast Once the Great Satan has been unleashed
Today I’m feeling:
Good again. Exercised and awake. The rain is back, making things a bit dark and plenty of students didn’t bother coming to school today for whatever reasons.
I cancelled my first class to allow them to finish off other work that needed completing but will still take my grade 8s this morning, carrying on a little of what we did yesterday. Not too much stress.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Chinese-made goods. I ordered a new cheap laptop bag on Temu last month and whilst it’s not as good as the one I had before, today I was very grateful to find out that it has an extra quality I wasn’t aware of. (see below)
The best thing about today was:
…well this was not the best but was the most defining moment of the day.
As I was sitting at 22 Grams this morning Amy messaged me that it was raining hard at home and a little later it was raining hard in the city too.
I didn’t think too much about it but noticed that the roads were starting to flood around the school as I went to my class, the rain fairly relentless.
After about 40 minutes I got more photos from Amy of the rain and then a message saying I THINK I NEED YOU AT HOME.
Soon after she called and was sounding hysterical as she told me that our road was flooding. I decided to leave and got back as quickly as I could which wasnt easy as the roads were inundated with water all along the way.
As I got on the highway near home, traffic was stopped and it took me a while to get through to the road that goes around the back of our house but the rice fields were already overflowing and making the road almost invisible. I decided to risk and drive through but once at the back of our house the corner was completely flooded to the bridge and impossible to get through.
I went back the way I came and back onto the highway but there was no way to get down our soi as I saw people walking up to their knees in water.
I got past the traffic lights and into Kotchapol and drove up to a dorm a little bit higher and parked the car there, walking back down to the main road where there was nothing for it except to wade through the water, through the traffic, down our soi and eventually home. It took a while as the water was moving rapidly in the opposite direction and I could feel my hip muscles tested and twinging.
Our house was fine but the rice fields were full already and the rain was still coming. Amy had moved things from the kitchen and I started moving things off the floor in my man cave. After about an hour the power went out.
I lay down for a while and the rain had thankfully stopped. I was enjoying eating but couldn’t sleep and when Amy suggested we go and check our car maybe move it, I thought it best to go before it got dark.
We hopped on the bike but got stuck in the soi before we got to the main road. I pushed the bike through until I could get it out of the water and we discussed what to do next.
I got the bike going again but it was struggling and I told Amy to go back home. I wanted to get to the car and bring my laptop home.
I made it to Baipad’s house where the bike stopped again and it took me a little while to get it going again. Eventually I made it through to the car and got my laptop and set off but I didn’t want to go back the way I came figuring that there must be an easier way back.
As I approached the hill, water from the main drainage ditch was flooding the road and a rescue truck was there in the middle of it. I decided to go for it and a guy waved me by but as I went past, unable to see anything of what I was riding on, I plunged down off the edge and into deeper water and I was suddenly up to my neck in it.
A few rescue guys came over and as my feet were on some firm ground I quickly hoisted my laptop bag up and into their arms and said I’m ok, get the bike up!
They pulled the bike back up and then me. I got set, asked for my laptop bag and pushed the bike through to the other side, much to the bemusement is gawking uni kids.
I waited a while and got the bike started again and set off looking for another way back and after a couple of flooded dead ends took the university road and made it straight back home without getting stuck again.
After getting out of my second set of soaked clothes I opened up my laptop bag and was amazed to find that it seems to be mostly waterproof and my laptop was still buzzing away when I opened it up to check. My phone all good too!
We got electricity back at 8.15 pm. Woohoo!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
There’s some messages coming from the school about filling out a monthly report of all our classes and what we do in our free time.
I’m choosing to ignore it at this point but not sure how long that may be able to continue.
Something I learned today?
I learned that little Fino is a champion!
I took this picture because the water was creeping up all around. Auntie next door didn’t seem too phased by it all but she also lived here when it used to flood every year, well before we arrived.
At first, a little better but after getting to school, I just want to sleep. Headache, cough, difficulty breathing, exhausted.
Next, to go and wait at the hospital.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
All the nurses who helped me at the hospital today so that despite having to sit around for a while it was easy to know where to go and what to do.
One nurse accidentally flashed her soft, smooth, tanned (securely bra-ed) breast as she leaned forward and her uniform gaped a little. I should have said something to her but opted to look away instead.
The best thing about today was:
Getting a fair bit of book reading in. I’m finally at the last chapter of The Decline of the British Empire, which I’ve been reading since January. I’m looking forward to getting back to some fiction.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Waiting at the hospital – number 260 in the queue. Thankfully, they were already at the 140 mark and were also randomly putting people through. The delay for me was more connected with waiting for a doctor who could speak English.
I spent my time catching up with Substack reads.
Something I learned today?
Having read a lot of SubStack stuff I should have learned something today…hmm… I saw some pretty horrendous pictures of Israeli crimes but sadly, that is nothing new these days.
I did see some information that Starbucks is losing lots of money due to people boycotting it because of its connections to Israel.
I took this picture because the little one is on a rope now and can’t get into our scrumptious grass anymore. Here they are with mum, next to the fence where the gardeners had dumped all the cuttings.
Voices trembling, yet as one to sing A collected mind travels the crow road Where prayers and prophets seek to bring The moon silk dreams once borrowed
A shatter as the violence worshipped returns A zigzag missile homes in on the heart Faced with the darkness, the torment burns The moon silk dreams soon fall apart
I woke up with the light before 5 am and knew I wasn’t going to get enough sleep, so I reset my alarm for a little bit later.
Even then, I still felt like I could go back to sleep easily, even after breakfast, driving to school and coffee!
As it was a special event day today, though (Thai Language Day), I soon perked up walking around school and talking with students. There were very few classes going on, so there was a fair amount of excitement in the air.
I cancelled my grade 12 class, giving them a small assignment to do instead and took it easy with the grade 8s in the afternoon.
The best thing about today was:
Chatting with students Jee and Pemai this afternoon. It started off with their gossip about Freya and helped me understand their point of view about her behaviour. More interesting, though, was discussing differences between schools in Thailand and the West and also talking about some of the teachers and other students that they like and admire.
Something I learned today?
Amy’s mum has shingles on the right side of her face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the effects before but it looks really bad and painful. I need to investigate more about it so that I can try and avoid ever having it too!
I took these pictures of Anchan and Jee because they gave speeches in Thai about the importance of education (so they told me) for today’s event.
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