Proof – 3rd March 2024

My cup is always half-full
I counter the push and pull
You cannot pull the wool
Over my eyes

This game of life is fun
Whether in snow or sun
Today is another one
Of the best

Even when shadows fall
I can counter them all
There will be no wall
I cannot jump

Like Sisyphus, I will climb
Loving each moment in time
Living this life of mine
To the fullest

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 37: POSITIVITY


“And in the pain, there is strength.”

As a depressed teenager I carved LIFE IS PAIN into my arm. It is a constant reminder. I live for the struggle.

Where I now teach, some students were wasting time in class playing a (pretty dumb) video game. I asked them what they got out of it and they said it was fun and they learned that by driving the car faster they earned more points.

I asked them how this was useful in real life and they had no answer. I told them that life is not fun. They looked at me seriously and asked me what it was and I sure told them…. LIFE IS PAIN.

To reiterate the point I twisted their arms behind their backs until it hurt and asked them – WHAT IS LIFE!? PAIN, PAIN – they screamed.

We all laughed (please don’t imagine that I am some sort of ruthless prison guard with my hyperbole) and they went back to their game.

But one day…..they will remember this.

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and happy. With Amy off for the day, I will take some time to catch up on emails and writing.

Today I’m grateful for:

The twenty-baht shop where I bought more light bulbs. The lady there is an attractive and young-looking woman but today I discovered, and couldn’t believe, that she has a daughter who looks about 8 or 9 years old. The daughter was curious about me and when I gave her a wink she broke out a big smile.

The best thing about today was:

It’s been a pretty lazy relaxing afternoon with a bit of reading and watching YouTube.  Watering the garden was about as good as it gets.  I want to see things grow, grow, grow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Although it was in my control I ended up spending about 1000 baht today, buying coffee, light bulbs, soda water and remembering to order the car seat covers on Lazada.  No more inessentials for the rest of the month now….

Something I learned today?

From Rise of the Global South Telegram group: Swedish Diplomat Count Folke Bernadotte Personally Saved 31K Jews from Nazi Concentration Camps – He was Shot Dead by Members of the Jewish Stern Gang in Jerusalem in 1948

He was killed at point-blank range in a motorcade ambush after writing a UN report based on the devastated Palestinian villages he personally witnessed.

The go-ahead for the murder came from the future Prime Minister of Israel, Yitzhak Yezernitsky.

Israel knew the names of the men who committed the murder, yet nobody was charged.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I took Amy to the city and the family to the temple for Grandmum’s 100-day prayers. Then, I dropped Mum and Dad home, picked up Aor and dropped her and Amy at Paew’s. My taxi duties done for the day.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  23. Create Something. Not to leave a legacy, you won’t be here to see it anyway, but to be of use. Make music, write a book, build a table, anything. You’ll feel good about yourself, plus you give something back to people to use or enjoy.

Growing up I always seemed to be creating something (apart from a nuisance), from artwork, poetry and lyrics, music (of a sort), then creating or advancing a scene in the Sydney DIY space, producing records and so on.

I’m proud of the things that I have done and consider it my legacy but only for myself to enjoy.  It has all made me feel good about myself and I know I have inspired others with some of the things I have created and seen them get enjoyment from them too.  Every day I still create something.

I took this picture at temple prayers for Grandmum and while not having any connected belief to this or any faith, I did find this short ceremony quite comforting.

Stepping Out – 17th February 2024

You burned down our house
But home is in our head
We marvel at the pyres
And warm ourselves instead

We are the free ones
Wandering and wild
Whilst you guard your toys
The spoils of the child

For all the sermons
High up on the mount
You carry more burdens
Than anyone can count

The title refers to the Dangerous Girls song ‘Step Out’ that repeats the phrase “demolition”. The first stanza refers to Edison watching his factory burn. ‘Wandering and wild’ refers to Wasted Youth’s album titled “Wild and Wandering”. The burden is a reference to what Israel will carry once they have completely destroyed Palestine.
8th May 2024 – Submitted to dVerse Poetics


Today I’m feeling:

I felt pretty good after getting back from coffee but whilst settling into some reading some felt sleepy and had another three hours rest waking up again at two pm

Today I’m grateful for:

The shop where we sneakily parked our car and decided to get out and walk the rest of the way to the festival.

The best thing about today was:

The atmosphere of fun and pleasure at the festival.  Folks were having a good time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Taking an hour and a half to get to Singha Park for the balloon festival, stuck in traffic for more than an hour and missing any sunset photo opportunities. At least I could listen to my music whilst in the car.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I remained patient whilst stuck in traffic (and hungry)

I took this picture because we had a nice spot by the lake to watch the balloons being inflated though it was a little windy for them to go up tonight.

No Haiku – 12th February 2024

I ain’t got not haiku for you
Fireblossom’s word engines
Experimenting poets shirk taboo
Sober rhythms scent intentions

The art blues of lucky zeroes
The coyote and fox so cunning
Wildflowers in the weeds are heroes
The lilies in this soup of punning

Submitted to the Word Garden
27th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – taboo


Today I’m feeling:

Better for all the sleep but my body feels a little like a pharmacy sponge – soaked in medicine.  I pushed through a little exercise with a six a.m. wake-up and hope to get back to full exercise again tomorrow.

Today I’m grateful for:

The That Record Got Me High podcast for featuring Cardiacs this week.  Their music is so familiar to me now but it’s always exciting to hear it again.

The best thing about today was:

All the students being in a good mood after finishing their scout week.  The grade 9s in particular were happy because this was the last time they will ever have to do it.  Tomorrow morning the kids celebrate Chinese New Year, another morning free of classes.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When I got to House this morning the shop was shut.  I still went in and played with Tokyo and gave her a snack but no one was around.  I grabbed a coffee at Hobby Roasters to keep going and when I went back to House later Gui apologised saying that he had slept in after working every night at his restaurant last week.  No big deal as there is other coffee around.

Something I learned today?

Israel is bombing Rafah during the Super Bowl when many North Americans may be occupied.  But the other 90% plus of the world is not watching football.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  16. Don’t Judge. Just because people make different choices than you, they are not stupid. Also, you don’t know everything about people, so don’t judge them – help them.

I used to judge people who were straight and boring, those who did the expected and followed paths given to them by acceptable standards of modern society.  I used to hold animosity towards them.  I still do in some way but much more forgiving.  So long as no one is pushing their agenda on me then it’s fine. 

I no longer try to push an agenda on others.  Lots of things that I did that went against the grain have become mainstream now.  I was judged harshly at that time.  I remember what it was like.  My animosity and judgement was a reaction to that.  Everyone has a story and sometimes it’s worth listening to.

I took this picture because Amy asked me to. The jacaranda flowers are small and not as plentiful as the species in Australia but it’s nice to have them like this as a reminder.

The Teller And The Told – 8th January 2024

The movement of air was released
As it passed through shaking lips
The ears were moved by the vibrations
But the brain only received some drips

Over again these actions repeated
And therefore nothing was learned
Forever frustrated, the teller and the told
And so it will be, no respect earned

11th Dec 2025 – Shared with Esther Chilton’s prompt #94 – respect


Today I’m feeling:

Ready to go, ready to do, ready to be.  Struggled through the new abs exercises but didn’t feel quite as much aching around the sides this time.  Back to some arm work tomorrow even though my shoulder isn’t quite yet 100 percent.

Today I’m grateful for:

The dental clinic because I had to change my appointment since I’m now teaching an extra class on Thursday.

The best thing about today was:

Watching my second lot of grade 8s making well-wishing cards and Poppy going out into the playground and giving the card to her crush.  

Then after that, Nicha and Tonkla gave each other cards in what could finally see them become closer.  Nicha has been crushing on Tonkla for a couple of months already.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Creme brought two kittens in to school today.  They are just two days old and their mum has disappeared.  She has to feed them goats milk every two hours.  

Is that good for them? I don’t know.  I don’t know if they will make it.  

Too many cats here and not enough responsible owners.  Everyone loves cats but they don’t want to or can’t afford to pay for them properly.

Something I learned today?

Arsenal are out of the FA Cup, Manchester City beat Huddersfield 5-0 and Israel has already spent 60 billion dollars on its genocide of Palestinians.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent messages to Nicha and Poppy telling them I was proud of their bravery today.

I encouraged and supported Nut and Namsai when I could see them understanding the work I gave them today.

Are these good deeds?  They feel like just the deeds of a teacher. It’s good to note them for myself I guess so that I am reminded of them in the future.

Write about a time when you laughed uncontrollably.

There is a joke, a basic form of which is below, that I used to love to tell when I was maybe 13 or 14 years old.  You can see from the text that the joke is not very long but with a bit of practice you can make it last as long as you like.  

I don’t know where I originally heard the joke but it got a good laugh when I first told it and then, when others had joined, I was asked to tell it again and soon it became a request and even though everyone knew the punchline, which is hilarious because it isn’t even that funny, the laughter was in the telling.  

At some point in one telling of the joke it took so long to tell because everyone was rolling around the room in tears of laughter, including myself.  I reckon it took about an hour.  I felt that that was the ultimate telling and haven’t thought about that joke for a long time.  

As I didn’t remember where I’d heard the joke I wondered if it was even a joke that might be popular and searchable online but sure enough I found it.  

I doubt it will draw much laughter now, unless you are 13 or 14 years old perhaps.

Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant’s backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go. A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried, they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.

One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. The big day arrived, they set up all the monitoring equipment and set out to a safe distance.

The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer.

BBBAAANNNGGG!

The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 miles away) was up to his knees and the first (1 mile away) was up to his waist. When the others joined the scientist who was 1 mile away they noticed that he was in fits of laughter.

“What the %$*& is so funny?” asked one of the scientists.

“You should have seen the monkey’s face trying to get the cork back in!!!”


For FutureMe

I took this picture because Earn was happy and dancing today. Her happiness often depends on the interest of boys and she confided something I didn’t quite follow but included the sentence ‘he’s come back’. I’m trying to encourage her to love herself more.

The Feral – 26th December 2023

Raised in the manner of wolves
Howling at the moon
Running wild in the company of fools
Wide-eyed in chaotic tune

Tamed and reformed by riches
The devil still pulls at the heart
All are affected by witches
The feral rips itself apart


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good from exercise but still not particularly enthusiastic.  Perhaps due to this month’s struggle with money and its limit on what I’m able to do.

(Later) Things did improve as I spent time at House and then back at school wandering around talking to students everywhere.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Ning who seemed happy enough for me to help assist some of the students in her class – my grade 7 kids.  It’s sometimes fun to join another class without there being any pressure and just offer assistance.

The best thing about today was:

Kwang (and Premier and Program) took my arms and led me around the school whilst chattering away with me, so I feel happy that Kwang is comfortable with me again after her episode last week.  I’d really like to talk more deeply with her and get to how she really feels about things.  She’s still covering things up with bravado at the moment, which is not unusual for kids at this age.

Something I learned today?

I watched Alexei Sayle’s Christmas message where, as a Jew, he supports the Palestinians and calls out the Zionists in Israel as absolute liars. Much of the world is in agreement with his sentiment.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

My students were happy that I cancelled all my classes today.  It was possible that we could still have them but they would be distracted and unfocused with many not even bothering to show up.  I feel slightly guilty though!  Though not guilty enough not to be sitting in the cafe writing this right now!  I will go back to school soon though and play with my students and hang around for an hour or three.

What was the best new thing I tried this year?

Best new thing? I’m not sure I tried any new thing!

Maybe I started using the DuoCards app this year which has been pretty helpful with my language learning.

Fuck, that’s not very exciting, is it!

If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

As I’m already past the age of 30 and I can remember what my body was like then perhaps having that body would not be for the best.  I was still skinny at thirty, the beer belly came on over the following ten years.  As to my mind at thirty, I was still on my way at that point.  I still had peaks and troughs that overly affected me.

If we could rephrase the question to be 60 instead of 30 then perhaps I would choose my body now, despite it being older and slower it feels like it has improved and is fitter than before.  My mind is also in a better place….  Damn, this is a difficult choice.  The two are inextricably linked – healthy body, healthy mind….  I think I will go with maintaining the body. 

I’m thinking this because of seeing Grandmum now whose body is almost given up and unable to speak but I can’t help thinking that inside her mind is still sharp and that must be so frustrating.

I took this picture because Nicha wanted a selfie. When I showed her later she said she looked like a pig. At least I hope she was talking about herself.

No Chef – 28th November 2023

I know I know nothing
You tell me, how much cheese?
I’m no chef, I’m just eating
Transfer the knowledge, please!

A poem for this Existential Comic


Today I’m feeling:

A little tense as there is a lot of running around today. First to the city to walk Leo, then Mae Sai immigration where we have just home from. Right now I’m ready to scoff some lunch before dashing back to school for my afternoon classes.

Today I’m grateful for:

Officer Oh at Mae Sai immigration. This was my first visit there and all the staff seemed far more friendly than in Chiang Rai. It’s a bit of a long way to go each time but hopefully the experience will be better.

The best thing about today was:

Getting my visa application in and hopefully having that finalised within the next three weeks.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Being out of my class this morning was a little difficult as I tried to monitor everything from the work they were sending me in their messages.

About ten students didn’t submit anything and later in the day I deducted points in the system.

It was then found that I had gotten two students mixed up and needed to add their points back but then finding that I can only deduct points and not add them! I want to get that fixed because I want to reward students too.

Something I learned today?

More than 87% of Palestinian deaths caused by Israel in the last 51 days are civilian. The highest ratio of civilian to combatant deaths in any war ever and by a long way.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Last night I made the choice to get up early and go with Amy to walk Leo but when we arrived this morning we found that her dad had already taken him. Everyone has been telling him to take it easy and he only finished his second round of chemo yesterday but he is obviously frustrated at not being able to do all the things he wants to do. As the brief thought went through my mind of wasted time and wasted petrol, I pushed it aside and prepared for the next step of driving us to Mae Sai.

I messaged Manow hoping that she recovers from her cold soon.

I apologised to Pin and Gam as I accidentally deducted points from them in the SchoolBright system. They were both gracious in return.

As a few of my final class wanted to go off early to sports practice I made a deal with them to help them get through the work quicker.

After going to Immigration in Mae Sai Amy wanted to go to the markets. I didn’t really want to buy anything myself but happily went along with her as it felt like we had enough time. We bought some roasted chestnuts and noodles for her mum and dad and I was tasked with delivering them before getting back to school. It was a bit of a rush but I got it done.

What emotions do I feel most often?

I’ve become much more emotionally stable over the last couple of years and the emotion I notice more often these days is joy. There are times when I just have a feeling of inner peace and happiness.

Other emotions such as stress, tension and anxiety seem to occur often enough but register less. Depression is almost gone completely.

I took this picture last night because I wanted to capture what we had setup for Loy Kratong in the driveway. No new pictures today.

The Innocent – 27th November 2023

The whitest wild eyes of youth
Lips that have never kissed
Always running away from truth
Without fear of anything missed

The smoothest skin, muddied hands
Boys and girls with crazy dreams
And no one ever really understands
What the problem really means

Loving and losing without a touch
A game on the playground of thought
Wanting it all and not wanting much
Is all that’s ever been taught


Today I’m feeling:

Much better though somehow time ran out yesterday and I was so tired so I woke up with a complete surprise when my alarm went off. I could’ve slept for a few more hours. But as soon as I got to school I got my energy back again. Now I’m only coughing a little bit.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nancy for helping to fast-track my visa so that I can lodge it tomorrow and get my visa extended until it’s completed. It means driving to Mae Sai tomorrow so I’ll miss my first class in the morning but should be able to get back for the afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling good in general despite being on the go for most of the day from morning exercise, getting to work, photocopying for my first class, teaching, writing and reading during the only real downtime of the day today, back to class then finishing, shopping, post office, back to the city after Nancy’s call, back home, setting up for Loy Kratong, preparing to tomorrow, playing guitar, studying, cleaning up all the Loy Kratong candles, finally into bed.

Lots of good interactions with people even though not all of them were about positive things. Again, not one thing stands out as best.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

6 of my grade 8 students didn’t really bother doing work in my class today which was very disappointing. I didn’t really get upset about it, though I did deduct points from them in the SchoolBright system and tell their homeroom teacher(who is pretty useless). I’m not going to bother pushing these kids much as I only see them once a week. They understand what my requirements are and it’s pretty simple. If they can’t be bothered, well, it’s up to them.

Something I learned today?

According to Al Jazeera Israel has released 117 Palestinians in the last 3 days and in that same time they’ve detained 116 new Palestinian prisoners in areas across the occupied West Bank!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged Earn about her not getting distracted by other students in my class today which she is sometimes prone to do. She said it was because she was in a good mood, so I told her to try and bring her good mood to every class.

I messaged Funfai who told me that she won 3rd place in her tennis competition which was for the whole of Thailand. I congratulated her on all her good work.

I took some selfies and gave Kru Fang a farewell hug as today is her last day at our school. I hope she is happy and has a good future.

I was Amy’s Loy Kratong photographer and assistant with setting up and lighting candles. I happily did as she requested despite her shortness with me at times.

What do I want to focus on this week?

My focus at the moment has come around to consistent Thai study with ThaiPod101. But I’m already in the habit with that so I don’t need to focus particularly.

Same for exercise and playing guitar.

I should focus on finishing sorting out the piles of things in my room as I never got to finishing it. I made it to a functional and clean 85% leaving 15% of things that I didn’t want to make a decision on yet.

I took this picture because the full November moon means it is Loy Kratong, a festival to celebrate the goddess of water and ironically ends up polluting most rivers with debris of one sort or another.

There I Was And Here I Am – 5th November 2023

I never had no glamour in the city
No Gatsby hotels to wine away my youth
My world was dull grey and polished shitty
But neither place could contain all the truth

No sparkling floors can hide the vomit
From the mouths of the rich or poor
The eyes of men try to put the girls on it
As they rush on through the bathroom door

Living life is never not strange
There’s always a way from here to there
There’s only trouble not accepting the change
That a new you is just waiting to share

Inspired by the first half of this post at Spinning Visions


Today I’m feeling:

Tired again after my adventures yesterday with tree cutting. My body is aching and I’m a little dizzy and slow this morning. However, still feeling positive enough. The day is mine.

(later) Well, the day involved a three-hour exhaustion nap from which I woke up even more dizzy. I’m not up to much today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Discovering three sticks of Miang Kam in the fridge which I’d forgotten about. Amy bought them last night for me.

The best thing about today was:

Not being particularly worried or bothered about anything. Really, nothing much happened today and I’m just enjoying wallowing in our nice clean today house.

Something I learned today?

For the I-don’t-know-many-times, the resolution raised at the UN to lift sanctions on Cuba was voted for by all but two countries, the USA and Israel. I may not have a clear picture but it feels like the world has had enough of American imperialism and world policing.

I took this picture because P’ti was looking like a boss this morning.

Caterpillar Youth – 31st October 2023

Your youth breaks your heart
Trying to make someone love you
Push together and pull apart
As one returns to two

In the wake of all that came
As the stories were often repeated
It’s easy to lay the blame
At the child so easily defeated

Dazzling colours hide the truth
That a butterfly is waiting
To leave behind its caterpillar youth
To a life of constant recreating

Inspired by words and parts of this post at Spinning Visions
Submitted to dVerse ‘young and green’


Today I’m feeling:

Positive and relaxed. The calm before the storm. Back in the classroom tomorrow. Looking forward to it.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the folks who have been diligently working on putting together the Jornada Del Muerta 12” over in Turkey. I can see it has been difficult for them to organise and all I’ve had to do is just send money when necessary. Hopefully, the packages turn up safely though I don’t expect to have anything for Friday which is the release date.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a haircut. My winter cut. The Lady was very busy today as the locals were all bringing their kids in, as many go back to school tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy and I went up to the book fair at the University this afternoon. Before we left I’m sure I heard her say it was at the library so when we arrived nearby I headed off in that direction. When we got there there was nothing on and Amy asked me why I came to the library!

She was annoyed with me but at the same time didn’t know where the fair was either. We got pointed in the right direction and as Amy grumpily walked back I was happily enjoying the perfect temperature and the beautiful smell of evening flowers in the air. It was good to be able to walk anyway.

Something I learned today?

Leaked documents show that Israel deliberately shot its own people when Hamas attacked them on October 7th, blaming Hamas for all the deaths. Just to justify the genocide they are now carrying out in what is left of Palestine. Other documents show plans to remove all Palestinians from Gaza and into Egypt.

I took this picture because MFU sure is photogenic at this time.

Toltec Agreements – 26th October 2023

Conditioned to live up to the image imposed
Wasting time searching for perfection
Society’s dictates are not as supposed
So stand tall to issue a rejection

Blow away the prejudice clouds
One’s own nature is found only in fact
Forget about the opinions of crowds
Practice how to think and act

Words are as powerful as bricks
Their poison remembered forever
Fall not to the devilish tricks
Of the twisted dogmas made clever

Heal the wounds held within
Another’s reality can no longer touch
Getting even is considered a sin
And never accomplishes much

No questions asked, assumptions arise
Understand and be understood
The best is the one who always tries
And whatever the result, it’s good

8th Nov 2024 – Shared with dVerse OLN #373 and What’s Going On


Today I’m feeling:

Super tired. I’m not quite ready for an early start and return to school tomorrow yet. But, that’s my new reality so it’s going to happen whether I’m ready or not.

Today I have to clean up my man cave and move back in. Amy will be happy to have me out of the house! 

Today I’m grateful for:

My working desk that almost fell apart as I was trying to move it out of the house. It did break in a couple of places but there are enough bits holding everything in place that it can still be safely used.

The best thing about today was:

The satisfaction of scrubbing the floor of my man cave clean and getting it looking almost new again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It seems there’s a problem with my stereo that keeps muting the sound at what seems like random times.  Also none of the USB ports were working on my computer after the move. I’m dealing with it by trying again tomorrow as I’ve run out of energy this evening already.

Something I learned today?

Israel’s bombing of Gaza has killed 35 UN workers helping refugees, destroyed 20 UN buildings, bombed the safe spaces they advised Gazans to go and it looks like they’ve also killed 50 Israelis that were recent hostages. It looks like they wish to completely wipeout Palestine and that will probably draw others into a bigger war.

And at the same time as the USA is arming and protecting Israel, Americans are busy killing each other in their own cities. 

Can this world find any peace?

How do I utilize my strengths on a daily basis?

Patience is the main strength that I get to utilise every day. Monday to Friday at school and then back at home with Amy for the rest of the time. I don’t mean to imply that I need to be patient all the time but that it will be tested at various times during the day.

I took this picture because the pandan has really grown over the last month and outside our back door now smells delicious!