The Price Of Peace – 20th October 2023

Reality doesn’t care about your shoulds and shouldn’ts
The way out of suffering is the same on any scale
Would you side with peace or with the wouldn’ts?
Determined to see the negotiations fail
Does the price of peace negate your profits?
How many bodies are on your bottom line?
The brave will do the right thing to stop it
Not afraid to call the reality a crime

First two lines borrowed from Caitlin Johnstone


Today I’m feeling:

Slow but positive. Got home at around midnight and found the documentary about the making of Dogs in Space on TV so watched that and then there was a show about an explosion on an active volcanic island in New Zealand that killed 22 tourists. It was pretty compelling and kept me up til 2 am.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s co-workers to have become good friends and colleagues over the last 18 months. They were quite emotional to say goodbye today at dinner.

The best thing about today was:

Walking through Balmain down to the ferry, with a beautiful full blue Australian sky, purple jacaranda blooms scattered across the ground and the scent of jasmine everywhere.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy wants to dance this evening and I’m tired already but know that she will miss all this very much. I sat just outside in the foyer reading and finally, Amy came out.

Something I learned today?

China’s divorce rate has dropped for three years in a row. This seems surprising considering that time includes pandemic lockdowns where it would be assumed that families having to spend so much time together would get on each other’s nerves and separate easily.

What are you afraid of?

Toothache. At the wedding, I broke some more off one of my teeth whilst eating risotto of all things. The nerve isn’t exposed thankfully but it’s only a matter of time before more pieces break off and fall out. Toothache is the worst!

I’m afraid of other more existential things too but right now it’s toothache!

What am I longing for right now?

Knowing a long flight is ahead tomorrow I’m longing to be back home again.

I took this picture because it was a beautiful day to be a tourist in Sydney so that’s what we did.

How Do You Do, Bartholomew? – 3rd June 2023

In the battle between one god
And this supreme being’s two sets of believers
Each arguing that they were doing good
And that the others were purely deceivers

These good deeds involved massacring
Those that believed the same thing
Killing more of each other than those
That hated what some good deeds might bring

More than the Romans ever threw to the lions
Over the space of three hundred years
In just one day thousands lay dead
And the Pope rejoiced with glorious tears

The irony seems to be lost on some
When their books said to live and let live
Only humans could twist the words of their god
And make it part of their dogma to forgive

Inspired by a section of Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari dealing with religion.
1st Apr 2024 – Submitted to My Vivid Blog


Today I’m feeling:

I’m zonked out today. I went to bed around one thirty last night and I knew I was dog tired but still felt like I was in a good mood and should be doing things. I knew it wasn’t the best idea though and fell asleep quickly in the end. I got up late this morning and felt pretty good but by about lunchtime, I was crashing. I just ran out of energy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Yes’s album Drama, which I listened through twice as I crashed out through the afternoon on the sofa. I drifted in and out of consciousness as did the music. At times it made me think of the 70s and 80s, the Old Grey Whistle Test and listening to John Peel late at night. I can’t recall any of the music, even just a couple of hours later but I know I enjoyed it. I’ll listen to it again soon.

The best thing about today was:

Getting into bed early and getting a message from my student Jet that she was having problems at home with her mum and stepdad. I tried to understand as best I could and gave her my support. Jet is a very funny, smart but lazy, tomboy that speaks her mind and has a lot of bravado but as with any kid around 12-15 has her own insecurities and hers is whether her parents love her.
Her mum and dad split a couple of years ago after her dad cheated and no doubt her mum was shocked and sad, and now with a new man living in the house there must be all sorts of conflicting emotions at play for everyone.
Sadly, a lot of kids are facing situations like this. I wonder if it is spurring on the popularity of lesbian relationships here. Girls are seeing how badly their mothers get treated and then forgive and remain subservient to men and they’re deciding that’s not what they want in their lives but they still want love.
Anyway, the reason this was the best thing that happened today was Jet’s response of ‘Thanks for listening, you’re the best teacher and I love you! ‘
That warmed my heart though I did remind her that I am not perfect either!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My energy levels, handled by sleep! I think I just get so exhausted during the week at school and whilst still buzzing on the Friday, it all comes crashing down on the weekend. That’s not to say I didn’t get anything done or feel down. I’ll bounce back.

Something I learned today?

Apparently, there was a report out of Cambridge University Press that China is no longer communist but runs a free market, controlled capitalist system and that at the same time, the USA is becoming an increasingly authoritarian system. In my lifetime the world has turned upside down but I still know where to stand.

What are some simple pleasures that bring me happiness?

Coffee. Is coffee simple enough? Maybe not but right now it is simple. Reading a good book that stimulates thought and memory. The smell of night jasmine. A clean shave. The soft ache of a post-workout body. The struggle of conversation in a second language.

I took this picture because this is Thailand. Dirty, dusty, hot, random, wild, beautiful.

Minds Go Dead – 3rd March 2023

What’s next after the novelty?
After the return to reality
The exploration must be repeated
Or minds go dead, defeated

Familiarity breeds contempt
Rested at ease with each attempt
The risk of ridicule, to fail
Is the push needed to prevail

A mind goes dead unstimulated
Boredom stretches time created
The space is needed, left to fill
And no longer becomes time to kill


Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed, content and happy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Fang for offering to enter my grades into the online system even though I was happy to do once I could understand the method. I returned a little later with a small bottle of SangSom to say thank you.

The best thing about today was:

Only half of my students coming to class this morning as many had to attend a meeting. It made for a pleasant and quiet environment as the kids just got on with their work and we finished early and everyone was happy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As I was talking to Kru Fang, Kru Matthew was there too. We see each other around but never talk much, I usually comment when he’s wearing nice shirts.

Out of the blue, he said ‘You live near Uncle Nit.’ I said ‘I don’t know who that is.’ I said ‘Tha Sut?’ ‘Yes,’ Huai Phlu? ‘Yes, he’s my uncle. Him and Auntie Su.’ Ahhh! My next-door neighbours!

It’s impossible to be totally secluded here. Everyone knows everyone! I joked that Auntie Su is my CCTV, always checking who’s around!

Something I learned today?

I learned the uncle next door’s name! I’d never heard it before. He’s getting a bit slow and old since I first saw him. I’m not sure he would come across and help Amy kill a snake like he did a couple of years ago.

Describe a recent moment of joy.

I don’t think I’ve had any. Feeling more emotionally stable these days with a general sense of well-being has meant fewer ups as well as downs. This is suiting me. I’m just generally happy most of the time. The joys are more common if just lesser in intensity.

Brief moments like the smell of flowers, the smile of a student, the taste of coffee, the smelly dog scratching, the birds tweeting, the red sun rising and on and on.

I took this picture because the night jasmine has finally blossomed and the smell in the morning as I go to open the gate is delicious. Although it reminds me of night times it sets me up for the day.