Well boy, you’ve got to listen to me, promise her you’ll rise this day next year, from this very bed – 9th April 2021

Everyone was asking me why I wasn’t drawing pictures of Amy, so I thought I’d prepare a little surprise for our 11th wedding anniversary. I started with one of us together and then ones with Amy and one of her friends. I then sent these digitally to her friends and asked them all to send them back to Amy digitally today. It was fun to plan all this and it got me a lot of practice with sketching.

Shaun and Amy
Amy and Jessica
Fern and Amy
May and Amy
Amy and Muey
Amy and Grace
Billie and Amy
Mai and Amy
Amy and Bookie

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the TV in our hotel room last night. The porter switched it on when bringing in our bags and I thought it was weird to turn on the TV. As I was waiting for Amy I switched channels by total coincidence they had the ABC Channel and the Swans game was being shown live. I managed to watch the first half before we had to go out for dinner.

Your house is falling down (The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #67 – Frightened and Scared) – 4th December 2020

This one is not a morning scribble but at night and I want to get some thoughts out before I try to meditate which I didn’t do for a few weeks and I can feel my head whirling, whirling.

Step out, step out! Nothing lasts forever. Step out, step out – demolition – look at it fall down.

Distraction. Music is a distraction and I love it. I love my room – my room from youth and now I return – here in my room. No window, ceiling or floor!

Music, music, music. People in and out. Relationships, people – why do I find it so difficult?

Never mind, I think I’m okay. I’m fine I don’t need to find excuses. Inside my head is okay – when I’m feeling okay – I don’t need anything or anyone – except my one true friend. I love Amy very deeply I’m a little scared if anything happens between us but I know I’ll be okay. Everything is always okay. The world spins. And all those cliches. But anyway – it’s not something I think about really – not something likely to happen as far as I know. Out, out, out, you fleeting thoughts – settle down and breathe deep.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to each of my students for the different ways they make me think. It’s a nice challenge to everything.

Imagine a world where children are not sexually harassed by their teachers…

Now listen…..

This week there’s music from The Nubs, The Sawtooth Grin, Jesus Lizard, Theatre of Hate, Spermicide, Gelbart, Abali, Esmectatons, Radio Myanmar, Big Black, Secret Chiefs 3, Miss Madeline, George Danquah, Karate and OMFO.

Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.
Listen right here or Podbean, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.

https://www.facebook.com/The-Chiang-Rai-Alternative-Hour-107307097314670/ (the Facebook page got hijacked!)

They will crawl up in your skin and they will come out from the walls, if you let them – 13th February 2020

What do you believe that others do not?

– A daily writing prompt from stoameditation.com

I believe in fairness, justice, learning, compassion etc…  but so do many other people….

Perhaps there are things that other people believe that I do not, such as gods, more money will make you more happy etc…  Many people believe those things too though.

I feel like this is a trick question and should force you to contemplate all the things you do believe.  When you examine them all maybe there will be something there that no one else believes?

Is there anything that one person might believe that no one else believes though?  Even something obscure is likely to be believed by another person somewhere in the world. As you voice it for the very first time, someone else might agree!

What about this? Is there something you used to believe that you no longer do? When you stop believing something you sometimes block it out and disown it as if you never really believed it. Did I used to believe in ghosts? Some strange things happened that I couldn’t explain then but can explain now. Is that just learning and growing away from ignorance? Is it possible to grow so far away from ignorance, to be able to explain everything, to no longer have any beliefs? Is that some sort of nirvana the Buddhists idealise?

If you believe we live in a simulation then do you really know that one foot goes in front of another when you are walking or do you just believe it is so?

This stupid question has raised more than I’ve been able to answer. Ok, good. Keep the old brain ticking.

I’m off to start on my list of things I believe.

Who called?
What the hell did they say?
Get off the telephone right now
Don’t throw another minute away

Karate – There Are Ghosts

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I don’t have to teach at school for the next two days. Even though it was a late notification and bad planning it’s good for me anyways.

To-do list

  • Finish Kieran’s letter today! ✅
  • Study TOEFL templates ½
  • Connect with someone ✅
  • Random act of kindness ✅
  • Clear videos and emails ✅

I really enjoyed being able to sit in the quiet classroom and finish off Kieran’s letter as well as read a few other things and make some random notes. I skipped out in the afternoon so we could do some much-needed shopping. I don’t know if anyone will say anything tomorrow about not being there the whole day but it does feel a bit unreasonable to expect us to stay the whole day when there is nothing much to do.

It’s the constant annoying frustration of disorganisation and I am learning more to go with the flow.

Spent another enjoyable hour talking with Bruce and thinking of strategies to help him improve. I’m afraid it may be a long journey for him and I don’t want him to think that I’m just milking him for money so I will do my best to facilitate with what he needs to pass his exam.

I was calm and collected for the whole day and employed some of the techniques from the Smiling Mind meditations – becoming conscious of breathing and practising focus on people communicating – not just words but facial and body language, interactions within groups etc. When in those group communications I could have paused longer and forfeited my stories to enjoy theirs more. If I have that opportunity again tomorrow I will practice this.

Tomorrow I will spend all day reading, writing, learning and thinking.