Man Lives In Fear – 12th January 2022

The Woman’s Era has been dawning
For more than a hundred years
Held back by the arms of man
And his resistant fears

Equality means inclusion
And ending this fickle game
To treat each other as human
To see each other the same

Embrace all our differences
Enrich our lives together
For the sake of all humanity
Wherever, whoever, whenever

Submitted to WDYS #228


Without urgency or panic, make the necessary time and make much of that time.

Mason Currey

My midweek chill was rudely interrupted last night when I suddenly lost my energy and good feeling. I was so exhausted and feeling dizzy and sick that I went to bed at around 7pm and was soon asleep. In the night, I felt hot and I’m also feeling hot now, though the temperature check just said 36.5 for me and the crappy ATK I bought shows a very faint line that I’m OK. Difficult to say if it worked or not.

Anyway, I woke up not feeling too bad, still a slight headache and not 100% but ok. When I read my messages, I had to cover Dylan’s class this morning too – which is OK but meant I was teaching all morning. I’m going to dash off now to Fascino to buy a different ATK and will check again tonight. I don’t really want Covid right now as it will fuck up all Amy’s plans. Faaaar out.

I’m following this 12-step course of creating new habits, this is from James Clear, whose book, Atomic Habits, I’ve read and used to some degree. I’ve developed many good habits already and considering what I should do to create a new one. I’ve been good at exercising, studying Thai, learning guitar and those things do take up a bunch of my time already.

One thing that I do want to get back to, is learning Ableton and using the keyboard I bought and to create music. Before I create music, I really need to understand how these things work and hold together. An early step in forming this habit is to make a two-minute rule, a very simplified version of just starting the habit, not necessarily completing anything. So now I want to figure out what I can do to get down to a simple two-minute rule so that I can start forming this. I think I need to have the keyboard set up and Ableton open and ready to go, maybe then, just study one part of the manual for two minutes and then begin to understand it well.

I need to fit this in with my routine in the evening, which is usually to write a blog entry or two, use Yousician for at least ten minutes, play guitar to some songs with Capo, which can take up to 45 minutes, after that, I usually go inside and watch some TV so that I can wind down.

I’m still not quite happy with my set-up in my room and don’t feel quite comfortable in there. Clear some space? Rearrange again? It’s quite a good working environment for all the things I’m doing but some days I just don’t want to go in there! I’ll figure it out I guess.

18th Dec 2025 – I still haven’t figured this out. I still have many days where I just don’t feel like going to my room. Maybe I have set it up in my mind that it is like my old bedroom, a safe space away from the world, and somehow it doesn’t quite live up to that expectation. The Ableton keyboard has been sitting on the desk since this entry and has collected dust for most of the time. Perhaps reading this today will give me some incentive to get back to it.

We got that attitude! – 23rd November 2020

I am so happy and grateful for everything in my home. I love it there. I love to watch the garden growing and changing over time. I love all the different ideas Amy comes up with to change things around.
I am so happy and grateful to be able to afford a MIDI keyboard and to have time to experiment and mess around with it. I hope I can learn how to use it properly.

2nd Feb 2023 – I can’t believe I’ve had the keyboard for two years already. It still sits in front of my computer screen generally gathering dust. It’s not that I couldn’t have time to use it but that I have enjoyed playing guitar regularly and at the moment I’m more focused on getting old information uploaded to here, which is a pretty monumental task. Also, despite my loving my home, the set up of my desk and computer are not really conducive for sitting for long periods of time so it’s not quite comfortable. I know it will take a good period of time, effort and concentration to learn to use the keyboard in the way that I want (actually it’s the software, not the keyboard particularly) but I am still weirdly optimistic that I will make more time in the future!