Kill confusion by killing options – 4th February 2020

Most disputes are a waste of time even if you’re in the right….

– Haters blog post by Paul Graham

I can recall a thousand arguments I thought I’d won, “That showed them!” Only now to realise I had lost.

Some people start arguments for an unknown reason. Why do we bite at it? Sometimes it’s something we just know we can easily win. An opportunity to show intellectual superiority. What did that achieve in the end?

Sometimes people just sound argumentative perhaps not eloquent enough to express themselves any other way. Being able to defuse situations like that takes a special skill, worth practicing.

Some people don’t argue at all and start with a closed fist. They didn’t like the way you looked. The air sizzles with violence. Mostly recognised from younger days, too old to be a threat to anyone now surely.

Another option often chosen is to simply run away from it, waiting until calmer heads prevail. But what if it didn’t come?

I hate arguing, it’s a waste of time and energy. That doesn’t mean I won’t stand up for what I believe to be right and true but those opportunities rarely actually appear in life. Most arguments are petty and ultimately inconsequential. So the aim is not to win or lose but to just not waste time.

I’m sick of emotions always tearing me inside
Watching things crumble, letting all things slide
A very temporary waste of time
Is there really such a thing as a waste of time?

Gray Matter

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my medicine. I didn’t realise I didn’t take it yesterday and I felt pretty down most of that time. Only realised this morning when I found the tablet on the bench!

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

Buddha

To-do list

  • Take some new photos to use on the blog ½
  • Gym after work ✅
  • Play the listen and don’t complain game ½
  • Clear some Pocket articles ✅

It was a little difficult to play the listen and don’t complain game as Kevin and Said weren’t in school today and apart from courtesies I only spoke to Fred for about 3 minutes. I was able to do it later though when Kru Tam was complaining about Kevin not being organised to send things for printing. I just asked her what she would like me to do.

Similarly, taking photos wasn’t really an easy task either. I’m either sitting at my desk or teaching – not many interesting photo opportunities arising.

I rode my pushbike to the gym and met KP along the way which was nice – she has such a good heart. She was in a hrry though so not much chat but I hope I can ask her to help bring some students for us sometime.

I learned a lot today about social connection and just talking to strangers. A little easier said than done with the language barrier here but George seems to manage to do it quite well. I need to practice those skills. I guess I missed a little opportunity to do this at the gym as there was a white guy there. the gym feels a bit weird to do that though. Though, now I’m thinking of it, it is where George meets and talks to a lot of people so I guess I just need to bite the bullet and try it.

A stagnant pool of bile… – 17th January 2020

If you could share one message with the world, what would it be?

I can’t decide an answer to this – maybe – learn to love to read?

I think as having visited many different places around the world there is not one message that is applicable to one and all.

Of course, we can say ‘love each other’ but it is a tired cliche that also begs many questions. Many religions posited this stance but they all became twisted by human interpretation.

I guess the ‘learn to love to read’ phrase is pertinent to never stop learning and growing because it can apply to anyone at any age.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have 3 happy playful cats in my life. I hope they remain healthy and don’t suffer any misfortune.

The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.

Isaac Asimov

To-do list

  • Get photos taken for work permit ✅
  • Enjoy spending time with George and Bee ✅
  • Write to Chrissie ½
  • Think about how you can show Kru Noon your appreciation
  • Savour what you can, show thanks ½

School was good today. All my classes went well and the kids were happy. Not so much the teachers! Kru Noon was upset again because she had to fill classes for Said who didn’t show up and couldn’t be contacted. Kevin was also upset because Kru Tam had made him look bad in front of his kids.

The day went quickly for me as I drove into the city a couple of times to get photos for my work permit.

After work, I finished reading Anna Karenina – phew! One of the first books that I want to read again.

Then a quick shower and pick up George and Bee to go for Indian dinner. I enjoy meeting them very much and George suggested talking with Nancy about Jimmy so that she can hear about it from me rather than from him or someone else in the future. The option of going to CRPAO is good to have as a choice next semester. George is always trying to convince me to do it.

Amy and Bee had good long happy talks as we moved to the Library to hang out for a couple of hours, drinking sweet shots of unknown alcohol. They both think that George and I live in a ‘beautiful world’ – ie we see everything as good and positive. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy to try and look at life this way and feel much happier for it. I prefer this thinking style over my older negative and cynical one for sure.

For Saturday I have a couple of classes in the afternoon and Amy will go out again in the evening. I’ll be happy with another night at home. Our home is definitely a ‘beautiful world’ despite the snakes.

The bigger things – 16th December 2019

Today I asked Kru Tam how she thought I was doing at my job. She gave me positive feedback saying she could tell how much I cared for the students to learn. She did imply that sometimes I have to pull back a little – I think that is more related to my expectations than to my lessons.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the beautiful sunrise I see every morning before school. It’s a reminder of the bigger things, the slow, slow movement of the universe. Nothing we can do but get on with it.

To-do list

  • Most important * Be mentally prepared for the toughest classes of the week.
  • Try to write email to Aaron during school hours – subject: books and kids.
  • Clear all the Daily Stoic reading windows.
  • Congratulate the kids on good work and good thinking.
  • Compliment one of the other teachers.
  • Follow up with Andrew about contact with Indra.
  • Clear some emails.
  • Study Thai for 30 minutes.

Did it list

  • 30 squats and 30 weightless shoulder press
  • 30 minutes study Thai – mostly prep
  • Maintained calm and happiness through two of the three tough classes today
  • I forgive myself for losing it for a second in that last class. How to stop from getting into that situation again? Maybe need to make my lessons more practical. I’m hoping the ClassDojo ideas lessons work out well for those classes.
  • Asked Kru Tam for feedback on my performance – she said she could feel that I was really keen to help the students.
  • She also advised me to try to give them more time and maybe make things a little easier.
  • Sorted some more files for TCRAH
  • Have an idea for TCRAH – to share the music files with a friend and get them to comment on the music, then incorporate that into the actual show.
  • Read some more Daily Stoic articles and closed a few more Chrome tabs
  • Unsubscribed from a blog – content was ok but I’m at the point of having to choose the ones I like best.