Very good. I pushed through exercise and felt good for it. At school, I comforted ****** as best I could and asked Jan to keep me updated. I feel a little hopeless about helping her and I can imagine she feels even more so.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nut’s Auntie and uncle who came and cleaned up lots of little details around our garden, in particular, pulling the weeds out from the driveway where our purple grass grows.
The best thing about today was:
Hearing from my grade 10 students that the reason that they wanted me to teach them next year is that they feel relaxed in my class and find it fun and more enjoyable than with Thai teachers. I have to wonder what some of their other classes are actually like.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
On arriving home Amy was cleaning Bruno’s high-pressure hose (and seemed to be in a bad mood) and told me he wanted it back.
I was doubtful about this as he had said to keep it as long as I needed and I still have a few places I’d like to clean up.
I was also informed that I would have to drive Nut’s Auntie and uncle back to Bruno’s after they had finished which would be soon.
I didn’t say anything, I hadn’t even got the shopping inside yet. I just accepted my fate and took a quick shower by which time they were ready to go.
Of course, once we got there, Bruno was surprised to get his machine back already as he knew I hadn’t finished with it, and said to take it back. I hushed him and told him not to worry about it, as it already revealed Amy’s little white lie and I made no complaint. Amy seemed to be in a better mood by then, so all was good as we drove back home again.
Something I learned today?
It has only ever snowed two times in the Sahara. How’s that for some relatively useless information.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Once again offering support to my students struggling with mental health issues.
I took this picture on Sunday morning because this was the same mountain that we were at the top of the afternoon before, rising out of the cool morning mist.
Struggled through exercise this morning as I’m still tired despite a long sleep and my first class was a little difficult to settle down but we all got there in the end.
Today I’m grateful for:
There not being the bad traffic I was expecting when driving home. There are some events going on around the city and surrounds during this month as well as royal visits that close off roads from time to time. But not today! Hooray!
The best thing about today was:
Doing some investigation, planning and discussion with Nampan from SpeechOdd for an upcoming vinyl release. I’m hoping that this will help me get more involved with the scene here in Thailand.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Both my first and last classes were difficult and annoying today but I persevered, having to keep the second class late due to constant interruptions. It doesn’t help that my lessons are designed for two full hours and now we only have 100 minutes.
Something I learned today?
Just as I’m writing here this evening I got a message from Jan wanting me to talk with ****** because tonight she wants to kill herself! Sigh… it’s easy to see how despondent kids can get in the home environments here sometimes.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Talking with Jan and ******, getting information from one and consoling the other.
Offering a helping hand to Freya who is also suffering from depression as well as some physical ailments.
Sharing in the happiness of Mee, who also tried to kill herself last year, but today ran up to me to give me a big hug and smiles, pronouncing that her mum is home from abroad after a long period of absence. Hopefully, this will be enough to turn her life around.
Offering to help out to teach some extra classes since two of our teachers have left recently.
How does my body feel today?
It’s pretty good today actually. I did arm exercises this morning but didn’t feel any after-effects from that during the day, even feeling compelled to do 10 push-ups in the evening. Yes, it’s not much but this weakling old man has to start somewhere and started I have.
After my exercise in the morning, I noticed a sharp pain in my foot like I was standing on a sharp stone. I then just thought that perhaps an ant had bitten me. It wasn’t until I got home after school I found that it was a thin deep cut. I didn’t feel anything whilst wearing shoes at school but in bare feet again it’s painful as hell as every time I put weight on it the cut opens up.
Apart from still aching shoulders after the weekend ride everything else is feeling just about at the normal level of ache for a 56-year-old boy.
I took this panorama picture on Saturday because the whole view was just magnificent. A picture doesn’t do it justice really. No pictures today.
Pretty exhausted but happy to relax at home and doing bits and pieces in my room.
(Later) I’m tired but not sleepy, already in bed at 7pm and will do some Thai study, book and comic reading.
Today I’m grateful for:
Old cardboard boxes and, in turn, for online shopping that means we also have them laying around to use to pack on the rare occasions I get online orders through Bandcamp.
I’m also grateful to the guy at the car wash who helped me with the air pump to put air in my pushbike tyres. I was confused because it didn’t seem to work as normal.
The best thing about today was:
Playing guitar after a few days break. I sometimes wish I had learned when I was younger as now my old fingers easily forget and get lost on the strings and for not playing for a couple of days it felt a little like starting again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Nothing significant springs to mind.
Something I learned today?
Utopia will close for three days next week as they and the Daytripper staff all head up to Phu Chi Fa for a couple of nights camping. What about my coffee!? Actually, it looks like it will be Monday to Wednesday so I should be safe!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I chatted with Noey at Utopia for a while, encouraging her to talk with the farangs that come into the shop because she has never seen snow. Maybe if she can catch a farang he can take her off somewhere to see it!
I rescued P’ti when he escaped from Utopia and held him while he ate some grass and sniffed the air for a while. He seemed satisfied with that for a while before disappearing into the back rooms of the shop.
What’s the weirdest object in your studio/home/office?
Weird?
Office: A CD that comes in a stone package?
Home: Two King-size beds in the bedroom?
I don’t know… my weird seems pretty normal to me. I don’t know or much care what other people think.
I took this picture on Saturday at Wat Chaloem in Lampang. A beautiful day for a bit of a hike up this mountain.
What is to be done once at the mountaintop? Once having surveyed the delights to be seen Can you shout into the valleys till the echoes stop? Telling all who care to wonder where you’ve been
Counting the cost when the afternoon storm arrives There’s no magic lantern to wish you safe and sound Darwin showed us that the smartest one survives Keeping their heads down back home on the ground
Exhausted! But happily so. I had a disrupted sleep with having to deal with the results of the spicy seafood sauce from last night as it got stuck straight into my bowels!
But I got up easily and quickly at 6.30 and we set off biking again soon after. We took a very dodgy detour that took us so far into the unknown, wondering if we’d ever make it back.
In a tiny village tucked in between cornrow hills, an old Auntie and uncle, who seemed a little unaccustomed to Thai, and even more so to two dirty farangs emerging through their dog-infested dirt tracks, helped stave off some thirst and hunger with a grocery of delights hidden in a shack underneath reams of old corrugated iron but do be sure to take off your shoes! Nervous dogs sniffed nervously, on the constant scavenge.
It felt like we were making good time but a breakdown in here would’ve consumed the rest of the day and it wasn’t even 8am yet.
Already shaken from intermittent dodgy rocky roads, it dawned that there was another hour and a half of this ahead!
In most part beautiful but also at times frustratingly shaky, I prayed little Fino could hold itself together.
Today I’m grateful for:
Little Fino performing, as one would reasonably expect any modern piece of expensive motoring machinery, magnificently despite the abuse I brought forth on it over the last two days. I would not be surprised if he sounds a bit cranky in the morning.
The best thing about today was:
Getting to Chiang Rai and familiar surroundings was a welcome feeling. At least if something went wrong here I had some idea of where to head for help.
After our morning wilderness adventure, I told Bruno there was no need to wait for me and we made our way separately North from Lampang.
I took some minor detours and when back into recognisable territory I decided to follow the Mae Lao klong (which was sublime) up past Singha Park and then back off the highway after following cute girls on what must have been their boyfriend’s souped-up motorbikes, that popped so loudly as they flew past fuel tankers whilst desperately clasping their phones in one hand.
Past the prison and up into Mae Yao through the back of Bandu and the university and delivered, finally, to my first coffee of the day back at home in Utopia! That coffee was the best ever!
It was already 2 pm and my ears were still full of wind, my hands shaking from hours of gripping the handlebars, and my eyes and clothes full of smoke and dust. It felt so good to be back home!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Lots of things were out of my control today and I happily went along with everything. I’m pretty easy to please.
Something I learned today?
The ACTUAL axis of evil seems to be the USA, Zionists and…… well, an axis only needs two, doesn’t it?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Spending a few baht in a village shop to give the locals some income, though I think Bruno actually paid!
In another village where Bruno stopped to stuff himself with som tum, the family there were so tickled to be serving a couple of ‘crackers’ and we happily obliged them with photos, which I hope they print out and put up one day to fade in the dust and sun of posterity.
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
The way I was raised was fine, even great. The circumstances could have been different though. However, because my father died before I even knew him I never knew what it was like to have and lose him. I wonder how much impact that has had on my personality and life in general?
My mum was very liberal with me and I got to make plenty of my own mistakes. I grew up slowly. Like most teenagers, I thought I knew everything and I could fake being mature. My mum generally left me to it.
I took this picture because this is what we spent three hours traversing the back end of beyond to come and see. An emerald lagoon in a sinkhole in the jungle mountains near Lampang. The fish in there are huge and we wondered how they got there. Signs for no swimming, fishing or feeding the fish. There’s nothing else here except for a couple of big trees and once you’ve looked up and then back down again, you’ve seen a big tree. For some reason, the car park seemed to be able to accommodate a fleet of tour buses yet it’s at the end of a dirt track that a tour bus wouldn’t be able to navigate. The shop was on the far side of the car park so when we arrived a lady jumped on her motorbike and came to a makeshift stall next to the lagoon entrance, we happily wandered by on both entry, and fifteen minutes later on exit, and she happily rode her bike back across the car park to the shop. It was only 10 am. Maybe busloads of Koreans swamp the place come the afternoons?
Great and ready to go. Up at 6am to head out with Bruno on a long ass bike ride that I’m following him along on. Right now, after 8 hours on and off we’re in the middle of some mountains waiting to go up to see a temple perched right at the top of a craggy cliff.
Today I’m grateful for:
The guy who came to help us use the petrol pump outside a village in the mountains. We didn’t need his help and he was just curious about is but we appreciated him anyways.
The best thing about today was:
Stopping in a pretty well-kept mountain village somewhere between Chiang Mai and Lampang and enjoying a coffee in an old wooden cafe overlooking a small community square where kids were playing.
(Later) We opted for going up to Wat Chaloem before it was too late and I’m glad we did. It was an expensive entry for foreigners but compared with anywhere else in the world I found it good value. After a van ride and an exhausting walk up steep steps the views from the top were incredible. When I saw the mountain in the distance as we were riding towards it through the valley, I couldn’t believe that there was a temple up there and then I was up there looking back down.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Bruno was a little frustrated with me and how slow I was riding but I just wanted to enjoy the journey for as long as possible. His personality has him racing everywhere. Well, he is the way he is and I am the way I am.
To be honest I haven’t felt quite so comfortable riding my bike since coming off it last year. That was only a minor incident but it was a good reminder of how easy and quickly an accident can happen. I’m way more cautious going around corners now especially when there is gravel on the road.
Something I learned today?
I learned a lot about the roads through the mountains around Chiang Mai and Lampang and the villages nestled within. I learned a little more about myself and about Bruno.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
At one of the lookout points we chatted with a Russian couple that live in Chiang Mai.
We deliberately stopped at a nice village cafe and I bought some expensive coffee honey from them to give them a boost.
I petted several dogs including a beauty at the temple that had a reddened eye and only three legs. It was very affectionate.
When was the last time I felt overwhelmed?
From memory that was when I was working at Woolworths and having to deal with my asshole boss. I’m sure he may have been a good boss for the company but that’s the kind of person I despise. Someone who puts the corporation ahead of people is not to be trusted!
Anyway, that situation badly affected me as it was tied in with physical pain from overwork along with depression and (apparently) PTSD. I was supremely grateful to get out of that situation as I felt myself going out of control.
I took lots of beautiful photos today but chose this picture because this is what I was faced with when I went to brush my teeth. This is Thailand, this is jungle country.
How to fill the hole in that space? The emptiness in the halls When reminded every day By the pictures on the walls? Your smell permeates the air Your shoes still outside the door Waiting for some other soul Because you don’t need them anymore As your clothes hang in the cupboard Unbearable, the thought to remove But one day the burden must lift Knowing you’d surely approve Now you’re blown to the wind But the heart is where you stay Bittersweet what time is left Until I join you again one day
Educate the children and it won’t be neccesary to punish the men.
Pythagoras
Today I’m feeling: Tired and sleepy Today I’m grateful for: Shitty 7/11 coffee to fuel my drive to Lampang. No decent coffee today but that will make tomorrow all the more sweet. The best thing about today was: At uncle’s funeral today there was the usual chanting and ceremony but something I hadn’t seen before was a traditional acapella song that sounded almost islander in origin. Mourners gathered around the coffin and with arms around each other in a long chain they swung side to side with the rhythm. It was really quite beautiful. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? Almost everything was out of my control today except my thoughts and reactions, which were all positive. Today was a day for other people and I submitted to that. Something I learned today? The US military has recruiters in US schools actively targeting the poor and those unable to afford college tuition fees (or their debt). Military personnel, I believe, get free college tuition. That’s pretty crazy! What are you most proud of in your life? Coincidentally I just posted a response to a similar question that I wrote a couple of years ago. That was a list of three things I was proud of, which still stands today. Though looking at this question grammatically, I wouldn’t want to have one thing I was most proud of but to be proud of many things. Life is long and deserves many proud moments.
I took this picture because this is where uncle’s body became ash and smoke. This crematorium is bigger than I’ve experienced before. I’m starting to recognise more of the extended family at the funerals I go to. However, the family also dwindles each time.
Push the barbarians back To the river banks Left alive for one day To practice giving thanks Soon ends the reign of one Another body left vacated Remembered then forgotten The future we’re all fated
You can only know the good life if you know yourself. Facts won’t ever help you be happy. Unless that fact is ‘I know who I am.’
Timothy, Musings on Self-Education
Today I’m feeling: Reasonably happy Today I’m grateful for: The vet for checking Tigger and his skin problem. He’s got some fungal skin infection that makes blisters though he doesn’t seem to care about it at all. I’m also grateful I had free time to be able to take him this afternoon and drop Amy at her parents too. Also grateful that on advising that I would have to take Thursday off to go to Lampang got told that there are no classes anyway so it’s not a problem. The best thing about today was: Again, helping some of my poorer students with some reading. It makes me happy to see them try and to slowly improve themselves. I could tell that one student, Pin, was particularly happy to complete reading the text after a long struggle. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? Waking up in the morning and finding out that Amy’s uncle passed away during the night and that meant changes to our plans which we couldn’t be sure about at that time and would decide during the day. So when I got home Amy said the funeral would be on Thursday and that we will go but I told her that I had to be at school, I had to teach and also I’d taken two days off recently to help with other things so taking another day was gonna be a little bit difficult. Anyway, I sent a message to Kru Mai saying that I would have to go to the funeral in Lampang and I would organise work for the kids to do in my absence. Luckily he replied that Thursday was going to be New Year’s activities and there were no classes anyway so everything was fine. Now I just have to prepare myself for a six-hour round-trip drive on Thursday. Something I learned today? Earn didn’t come to school today because she was ‘heartbroken’ over some unrequited love and she had video-called to her friends and I talked with her a little but it was too noisy in the class to understand. Later I talked with her friends and they all said that she is not strong which I found surprising because she comes across as quite independent and strong-willed. I sent her a message to not let her happiness depend on other people and she said she was ok now, was over it and would be back in school tomorrow. The troubles of the heart! Haha, so easily brushed off at this age. Have you ever had surgery? What for? Only minor surgery. I had a vasectomy when I was 42 or thereabouts. Then, about seven years ago I’d hurt my elbows from repetitive strain due to making coffee. A specialist recommended taking out a part of the tendon in my wrist, doing some magic with it and then injecting it back into my elbows. I can’t remember the procedure name and I have to say it didn’t really work but I did discover the wonders of tramadol as a post-surgery painkiller. I’d never felt better! My elbows remain an issue and my coffee-making career was done.
I took this picture because Amy had to go and stay at her parent’s house to take care of grandma as her mum and dad went to Lampang because uncle passed away yesterday and they will help arrange things. As well as taking care of grandma she had to walk Leo who is just bursting with energetic excitement he dragged Amy along on his walk. He slobbers and is smelly, I had to change my clothes when I got home.
Janky parking in entitled lots The prize to get has got to be gots The hustled and hustlers dancing in jitters A microcosm of moronic critters Overrun with amateurs, unable to discern Anything beyond their own concern Grown men anxious and chomping at bits Losing their minds in explosive fits Society and humanity seemingly forgotten The race to the top has now reached the bottom Used to a life full of broken noses Shop til you drop, or at least til it closes
Embrace all obstacles as learning experiences, as means to getting stronger.
Robert Greene
Today I’m feeling: Content and tired Today I’m grateful for: Nong May, Amy’s cousin (?), for driving me to get coffee in Lampang. Also dad for driving on the way in the morning, and mum for paying for lunch. The best thing about today was: I really enjoyed driving back from Lampang for the first hour. My neck got sore after that though. I also enjoyed lucid dreams again on the way there and was amazed it was already 11am when we got there. The drive only felt like 30 minutes to me but was almost 4 hours. Also meeting the little girl doing dot-to-dot in the cafe whilst I was waiting for coffee. She was very cute and curious. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? Most of the day was out of my control and I had already accepted this beforehand. Something I learned today? Why do I struggle to recall things at the end of the day? Does information logged in my brain stay in there? Is it useful? Does it only get activated when triggered by something relevant? I suppose that makes sense. Or am I going through days without learning anything at all? I did learn it was Nong Fah’s birthday today, thanks to a notification in LINE! What’s your favourite time of day? Sunrise and golden hour are both up there. Birth and death. Why? The living and sleeping parts don’t hold the same appeal? Like the land meeting the sea is more special than being in the ocean or the middle of the land. Do special things only happen at the edges?
I took this picture because this was the pretty garden area behind the restaurant we ate lunch at in Lampang. There were some amazing mountains along the way but I was driving and couldn’t take pictures.
Direction > Speed. Doesn’t matter if you are moving slow or fast, if you are moving in the wrong direction, you are fucked.
Aditi
Goodreads.com review of Last Gang in Town: The Story and Myth of the Clash by Marcus Gray
Excellent book for me. I like the Clash a lot but didn’t know much about their history before now. After reading this book I can feel that I perhaps bought into the Clash ‘myth’ more than I’d expected. After reading a slew of rock biographies, mostly about people that were interesting but not necessarily whom I had any respect for, I guess I should have been prepared to find out that these mythological punks were all too human.
Whatever! It’s all done and dusted and I remember the sight, sound, and feel of the pedestal I had them up on!
I found the post-Clash chapters interesting too, as most of the band seemed to struggle with finding their identities after the breakup, and everyone, including themselves, wondered about what could have been.
Today I’m feeling: Relaxed and tired because of cocktails and pizza indigestion keeping me up throughout the night and then a 5.30 wake up to catch our flight. Today I’m grateful for: The two homeroom teachers who (probably) helped push my students to do the work I left for them as I wasn’t at school today. I think about 80% of them did it which was a pleasant surprise. The best thing about today was: Getting decent coffee again back in Chiang Rai (at Utopia) and finishing the Clash book and starting an Iggy Pop book. The last of the unread books there for me before I have to start bringing my own again. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? Late afternoon and Amy gets Kim Chi up from her current sleeping spot in the walk-in. Kim is still limping on her back right leg and we agreed she needed to go to the vet but with only one car again it was going to be difficult to arrange whilst I’m at school so despite being tired and chilled at home I suggested we go right away otherwise it would have to be on the weekend when we already have a long day trip to Lampang planned on Sunday. In spite of it being school let-out time, I enjoyed the drive to Dr Arnon and back and he doesn’t think there is anything seriously wrong with Kim’s leg and just gave her some painkillers. I was also able to buy some snacks to take for Tokyo at House so that worked out ok. Something I learned today? Following on from yesterday, according to another survey, Chiang Rai is the lowest-paid province in Thailand. It made me wonder if the two facts about Chiang Rai are connected. Does drinking decrease as a place prospers? If Chiang Rai folks were paid more would they drink more? When are you most spontaneous? I’m not spontaneous much at all these days I don’t think so I would say this would be in my classes when I might add in some things around the lessons I’m teaching. I do miss the days of spontaneity but am also happy with the way I am now too. I’m well-organised and my brain suits that better than being spontaneous as I’m not always good at predicting possible outcomes.
I took this picture yesterday at the Hilton in Phuket because wtf is a peacock doing here just wondering around!?
1994ever 